May 22, 2014
You see we have these things called clocks and no one looks at them because we have phones. Yes phones are for talking to people who aren’t there, but they’re also for telling time. No you don’t actually tell time anything, but rather telling time is the process of knowing what time it is. And you know what time it is because you look at a clock. Shall we begin?
Clocks have numbers on them. Except sometimes they don’t:
And each number represents an hour which is one hour long. An hour takes an hour, which is also sixty minutes. A minute takes a minute and is made up of sixty seconds which are a second long. That’s like bah-duh. That’s a second. One Mississippi is also a second. Two Mississippi is two seconds. And 3600 Mississippi is one hour. Or you could just look at a clock.
Time is arranged in the hours it takes to get from midnight to midday and back again. There are twenty-four of them. The first twelve hours are described with the numbers one to twelve, and so are the second twelve hours because we’re not as smart as Europeans. From midnight to midday is referred to as AM, which stands for after morning. No, wait. AM stands for before noon but BN was already taken. No, wait. That’s BM.
We need to know what time it is because we need to go to work to make the money we will deposit in the bank where people work to make the money to spend in Forever 21. When we arrive at the proper hour, we are said to be on time. When we get something done, it is often in time. When we refer to something that already happened, we say it was at the time. When we repeat something, we say it is all the time, and arguably the best song ever written is Time After Time.
In addition there is a hard time, a matter of time, a set time, a point in time, big time, from time to time, to make time, borrowed time, one more time, killing time, give it time, in spare time, and it’s about time — which this post was!
Stay tuned for more episodes of Alien School: Explaining Stuff to Aliens.
If you liked this post, read Once Upon A Time Bossy tried to find cute espadrilles.