Apr 25, 2007

How To Retouch Your Photos: Otherwise Known As When Bossy Paints In Cold Wind She Looks Plenty Scary.

In honor of Bossy’s close and personal friend Ree, Bossy has prepared the following Digital Photo tutorial:

Begin with a photo:

This elegant shot was taken with Bossy’s very own outstretched arm using her new Nikon D80. The D stands for digital. The 80 stands for the number of years it will take Bossy to read through the instruction manual.

So. Take the above photo. Please. Like, now. It could use a few adjustments and for this Bossy utilizes her prestigious free photo program. You’ve probably heard of it — it’s called Photoshop Graphic Converter.

First Bossy increases the Sharpness:

There! What a significant difference. Next Bossy needs to increase the levels because there are still a few pimples on Bossy’s face you can’t see. What are levels? Very simple — they are xiidje kkdirkd jfjeei jjsjshee:

Next Bossy lowers the Brightness:

Then Bossy decreases the amount of Saturation:

And finally Bossy monkeys with the contrast:

permanent link to post

20 comments

1. 1
   on April 25th, 2007 at 10:13 am
   Jodi said:

   Ha. I once did my own unabomber photo with a manifesto. Lemme find it …

   Here: http://www.xanga.com/frejaluna/70037878/item.html

   Okay, so it’s unabomber meets Che Guevera (and, it’s on my old blog).


2. 2
   on April 25th, 2007 at 10:22 am
   Chuckles said:

   I was expecting to see four photos that were all exactly the same. This was funnier.


3. 3
   on April 25th, 2007 at 10:28 am
   blue girl said:

   Great Graphic Converter work, BOSSY. You are an artiste.


4. 4
   on April 25th, 2007 at 10:44 am
   Scott-O-Rama said:

   Wow! I must go buy me that photo program. Talk about Unabomber-sexy!


5. 5
   on April 25th, 2007 at 11:00 am
   Jen M. said:

   Snort! Una-FUNNY.


6. 6
   on April 25th, 2007 at 11:15 am
   Jason said:

   Tee Hee…
   I knew I saw a resemblance!


7. 7
   on April 25th, 2007 at 11:24 am
   tuesday said:

   That is hysterical!


8. 8
   on April 25th, 2007 at 11:41 am
   Alicia said:

   How uncanny.


9. 9
   on April 25th, 2007 at 11:44 am
   moi said:

   New for Spring 2007: Domestic Terrorist Chic. I think Victoria Beckham could really OWN this look.


10. 10
    on April 25th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
    Oh, The Joys said:

    BOSSY spoofs Rhea nicely.


11. 11
    on April 25th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
    Alicia said:

    Happy Interior Painter’s Day!


12. 12
    on April 25th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
    Les~ said:

    ROFLMAO


13. 13
    on April 25th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
    1peanut said:

    BOSSY- that last black and white picture! Now really, I don’t want to embarrass you but they sell bleach creams, or as that upper lip looks extra thick, wax.


14. 14
    on April 25th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
    Brando said:

    That was awesome.


15. 15
    on April 25th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
    davido said:

    I used to live in the unabomber’s home town of Lombard, IL. It was a pretty boring little town, but nothing to bomb home about.


16. 16
    on April 25th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
    TLB said:

    I nearly choked to death when I saw that last photo on the cold Brando gave me.

    I heart Bossy.


17. 17
    on April 25th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
    tongue in cheek said:

    lol, I like your mustache. How did you do that?


18. 18
    on April 25th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
    Michael Bains said:

    Look out! Here comes the Una-Bossy!


19. 19
    on April 26th, 2007 at 2:19 am
    erin said:

    You rock, Bossy!!!!


20. 20
    on April 26th, 2007 at 8:53 am
    Hayes said:

    hehe… it’s amazing the similarities! You should join the Inmate Look-A-Like circuit!