Nov 5, 2007
The Entire Bedtime Story Of The 2007 Weblog Awards.
This is the Bedtime Story soundtrack:
Once upon a time Bossy was born a poor black child. She walked up a hill to school, and up a steeper hill home. Through a blizzard. In the heat. With no shoes, which were too tight. Then one day Bossy didn’t know she was nominated for the Weblog Award for Funniest Blog—and she didn’t know she was a finalist until the other finalists had left her approximately one two three a million votes behind—which is OK because Bossy’s friend Bobo promises to maybe vote once from his work computer if he remembers. Because readers reader? That is the way Bossy spells success. Sort of like this: Cesssssuck.
Meanwhile over at the Weblog Awards site, it’s totally The Tortoise and the Hare:
Except in this version of the fable Bossy the tortoise stays on the sofa all day watching the Intervention marathon on A&E while the hair is caught in the tortoise’s Oreck.
DUDE! I acccidently voted for someone else, but it was the technology, I swear! Not me!
I’ll try to do better next time, but if I don’t, it’ll be just like Gore and Florida AND then that other site I accidentally voted for will declare Jihad on North Korea and Iran and we’ll all be screwed!
Damn it all!
Just voted!
I voted. I’ll do it again. At least you’re not last.
I’m voting every day. You can do it Bossy!
I voted, and I’m making my children vote, even though they can’t read. Or operate Internet Explorer. Plus, my husband has family connections in the Russian Mob – could that be of help? I’m also totally open to bribes.
I don’t care what Weblog Awards says – Bossy is WAY funnier than those top two – I couldn’t even make it through their first entries without dozing off. Thank you for bringing such laughter to my mornings, and for having the courage to be funny without resorting to profanity and shallow humiliation of others. You can check out my tribute to you at my (baby) blog: http://mamamo.blogspot.com/
Thank you again!! And your “family tree”, what a gift – simply beautiful.
It’s rigged. Maybe voting is your special purpose.
What Weblog Awards?
Am I nominated? NO.
I’ll vote anyway.
I have always thought you were funny. I went to vote for you. That Sadly No I couldn’t understand.
What? I voted. I voted.
No way! I voted. More than once. Me thinks they’re discounting your votes. No matter what the outcome, I’ll still read you. Religiously. And abide by that order of protection to stay at least 100 feet away from you at all times. Though, as stated to the judge, I’m not a stalker. Really.
=) I have been voting all along.
Once again, VUBOQ has been snubbed by these “Web Awards.” Someday, these WebPeople will come to their senses … probably, at the same time the MacArthur Genius People do.
Fortunately, I’m not bitter. Oh, wait, yes, I am. I still cast a vote for you. Will you be reminding us to do this every day?
I looked at the one that is winning. I am funnier than that when I am discussing vacuuming lint out of my carpet. And Bossy is funnier just sitting there.
(I could vote at work AND at home. But that would be so, so wrong. *Snert*)
You and Crystal are the only two bloggers I know who have been nominated in any category. And of course, you’re both competing with each other.
You are being robbed I say! I am voting every day for you bossy
Bossy is most definitely the funniest. A finalist, huh? NICE JOB!
Good luck. Last year friends of mine had a horrible time of it so I’m crossing my fingers that you receive no drama in this.
I voted! Hurray Bossy!
I voted for Bossy. And because I can get to a whole bunch of computers, I voted for Bossy more than once a day.
I’m sneaky.
If (when) you win, will you send all us voters a prize from your basement?
For that catagory I only know you and crystal..who they hell are all those other vote stealers…and who are the idiots that are voting for them..you..crystal..there should be no other vote. People disgust me..crazy people voting for those people…
I vote once from work and once from home
very funny-I also liked the flax seed post
Fatty acid would make a good band name.
I am contemplating getting my wife an I am bossy shirt, but she might strangle me with it.
I voted for you.
(And you will grin to know that I have a post in my drafts called, “I, Navin R. Johnson”)
I’m picking out a thermos for you.
Sorry B, we voted for you. But ..
I voted! I voted AGAIN.
I’ll see if I can drum up support elsewhere.
Thats not true. I voted 4 times already
Bobo
Fer chrissake, I voted for you. I puked in the voting booth but I still voted. Doesn’t that count for something?
I will be honest. I did not vote for you, as I just found your site after going to the weblog award site to vote for somebody else (go Sadly, No!). So, while I won’t be voting for you, I will now be blessing your blog by reading it often. Lucky you!
I looked at that Sadly, No site.
Did I find it funny? Sadly, no.
Ohhh, I can vote for you at home AND at work! Cool.
i voted again and vow to keep doing so till Bossy is redeemed.
Power To The People.
But you’re the little bossy that could. Get out there and rattle the branches…power to the bossy. You are truly the funniest woman on the internets.
Did you know if you alter your cookies and refresh your IP you may be able to vote more than once per 24 hours?
Just sayin’. Go Bossy!
Yo – I’ll vote.
With that soundtrack playing, that is the saddest story I have ever read.
FIGHT THE POWER, BOSSY!
Those dudes over at Sadly, No! won’t even know what hit ‘em.
voted! and dang, you’ve received over 200 votes since you posted this
I must be living under a rock. These things always sneak up on me, usually when they’re almost over. But hey! I voted for ya and I will do my bestest to go back every day and vote and vote and vote some more.
Is Bossy mad at Boobs? I left you a comment last night and it’s gone!
I voted for you and against that diabolical Boobs lady!
Crystal
Crystal: Bossy mad at you? Never. It’s just that she deleted Sunday’s whole post and all the comments went with it. Besides, your boobs are too perky. Hey– who said that?
Done. I just spammed my office colleagues to do it as well. Every 24 hours. It’s a shame they don’t speak enough English to realize that you’re funny for themselves.
I voted twice, now where’s my patronage?
Of course I voted. And will continue to. And I have four computers, so they will all be voting.
You do funny like I do sweat. Naturally and in excess. You bet your rootin’ tootin’ bossy self I will be voting for you. And reincarnating all my relatives to do the same.
Bossy’s site is very funny. It is smart funny.
I’m loosing so badly I should be wearing a Buffalo Bills jersey from the ‘71 season.
I should put a Mondale for President in “84 bumper sticker on my car.
I am the Susan Lucci of the Weblog Awards.
So, every one nominated is beating the crap out of me. I’m barely on the ballot but you know what? At least there one genuinely funny blog that’s beating mine.
I Am Bossy.
And because of that, I Am Honored.
Good luck,
Laurie “Last Place” Kendrick
Hey Bossy! Thanks for the comment on my blog! I didn’t know that I was a finalist for a few days either. Don’t feel bad, I’m third to last!!!!
Laurie’s comment made me laugh!
I’ve got to admit, I voted for myself…hope you can forgive me!
Even with my begging plea for votes- I am getting creamed in Best New Blog! I have to go link to this. It is Hi-Lar-ious.
“How could BOSSY not win, Cruel World?”
Some dude named “Jammie Wearing Fool” is killing me! Can you start some unflattering post about him, Oh Great Bossy?
but BOSSY, you’re kicking 5 other blog butts!!!
you’ll always be number 1 in my eyes
It may be the tortoise and the hare but you’re funny, the dude in the lead isn’t.
You always cheer me up and make me laugh and I got to meet you in the flesh in Chicago.
Personally,I think it is ridiculous that you are not in FIRST place.
Secondly, I blogged and bragged and posted the link to your voting site in hopes of you winning.
Cuz.. I think you rock. (the casba) if not the blogosphere.
Ok, I did my civic duty and voted again. Do you think it would help if you put the word “boobs” in your title? Or even better, blow job?
I hate these damn awards. But I did vote for you. And I might do it again.
Laurie! Gah!
This one guy, in Oregon, he thinks I’m kind of funny.
And I’m nice. I save kittens and shit.
(but Bossy is wonderful and hysterical and makes rad videos and diagrams and whatnot. I will not be the tiniest bit upset when she kicks my butt)
Thank you for being funny. May the internet grant you the praise you deserve. I will vote again tomorrow.
You can still be funny after watching the Intervention Marathon? Now THAT takes some talent.
i nearly pee myself when i read you. (and no, i’m not a depends candidate.) i’ll be delighted to vote.
i’m voting everyday, too. and i’m also going to tell my 11 readers to vote for you.
you’ll definitely win now.
What’s in it for me?
Okay, okay, I voted for you. But, really, what’s in it for me if I vote for you again tomorrow? I mean, I will and all, because I’m such a lemming (and I find you pretty darned hysterical). But I think I’m going to need some link love or something. Maybe a “I Am Bossy” bumper sticker. A warm thought or two.
Don’t feel bad if you don’t catch up. My dad once told me, “You’re still a winner, even if you’re a loser.” Thanks, Dad.
I voted for ya Bossy! You are way funnier than the current leader, but then I’m loyal like that.
1. Add The Jerk to my letter to Santa. 2. Vote for Bossy.
Wow not only are Weblog Awards corrupt, they don’t seem to understand what funny is either. Sadly No! is funny? Maybe it’s some sort of ironic statement to let a non-funny site win, although cruel to take away from actual funny sites like yours.
Hopefully we can stop the madness!
So, because I am voting for you more than once (hey, this sounds like a presidential election!) does this mean I too am crooked like a rattler in a cactus patch? Just checking.
Voting like a mofo. Every day.
Mrs. Chicken has carpel tunnel from voting for Bossy. Over. And. Over.
The Blizzard in the heat huh? Neat. I swear my dad tells that same story.
I hope you win, you completly deserve it.
Maybe you should enter a contest for the bossiest blogger.
Maybe you’d have a better chance.
~Oswegan