Mar 11, 2008

Blog Kindergarten: A Bossy Tutorial. Stagecoach.

Released in 1939, this Western classic launched the career of a certain John Wayne. It won two Academy Awards and was nominated for seven. On a recent afternoon Bossy watched this entire movie from the beginning beginning-ish, and she offers the following film synopsis:

In a spit-dust intersection of a Western town, a stagecoach prepares to leave for somewhere. A few townsfolk want to go to this somewhere—and a couple of others don’t want to go but they’re being chased out of town anyway. And so a preacher, an alcoholic doctor, a fancy lady, a gentleman, and a prostitute all climb aboard the stagecoach pulled by a team of horses:

The fancy lady hates the prostitute, and the gentleman is in love with the fancy lady who is traveling to find her missing army husband. The preacher is a preacher, and the alcoholic doctor drinks booze and then kderozzzzz. Soon they meet up with John Wayne, who is a prisoner:

At least Bossy thinks he’s a prisoner but anyway, the stagecoach agrees to transport him to his prison. Or his something. And off they go until a cavalry warns them about the Apache Indians ahead. The stagecoach pulls into a town where everyone eats dinner and votes on whether they should turn back or continue on their journey without an army escort:

So the next day the stagecoach moves uneventfully forward until their pit stop that evening, when suddenly the fancy lady collapses in a heap around the ankles of the others:

Everyone turns to the alcoholic doctor. He must save her!

The preacher and the gentleman pour black coffee down the alcoholic doctor’s throat so he’ll be sober enough to rid the fancy lady of her ailment. And this was the fancy lady’s ailment:

The alcoholic doctor develops a new confidence. Meanwhile the prostitute is very nurturing and now the fancy lady begins to sort of like her. So the fancy lady lets the prostitute hold her baby and take care of it while she recovers. And when John Wayne sees the prostitute tenderly holding the baby he falls
in love with her:

And the prostitute is in love with John Wayne, but there’s no time to worry about that now. Because now everyone has to make another decision and here it is: Do they want to stay put while the fancy lady recovers even though the Apaches will find them, or do they want to continue ahead even though the Apaches will find them?

They choose to move forward, except now they are all working together. And lucky thing because soon they encounter a swollen river and they have to tie logs to the side of the stagecoach so it will float like a raft:

After crossing the river everything is fine. That is, until in the distance they see the approaching Apaches:

Then suddenly, the preacher is shot!

Thankfully, just in time the cavalry catches up to the stagecoach and now the Apache Indians are dying right left and center:

And so the stagecoach people totally win. Also? There may have been more townsfolk traveling in the stagecoach. But Bossy only has so many character actors Barbies. No matter—they arrive at their final destination, where John Wayne and the prostitute declare their love for each other in a saloon:

Or maybe they didn’t declare their love for each other, but there was definitely a Player Piano. And just when it looked like a happy ending, someone challenges John Wayne to a duel, and that someone is John Wayne’s mortal enemy. Or maybe it was some other person. Anyway. As John Wayne prepares for the showdown, the prostitute bids her teary goodbye. Is John Wayne killed? Or will he survive to make thirty-seven years of Westerns?

permanent link to post

114 comments

1. 1
   on March 11th, 2008 at 11:13 am
   notjustbarbra said:

   Yay, headless actor Ken is back!
   But is it supposed to be the fancy lady or the prostitute at the end?
   Or am I taking this all too seriously?


2. 2
   on March 11th, 2008 at 11:16 am
   Tootsie Farklepants said:

   John Wayne looks suspiciously like Humphrey Bogart from the Academy Award winning “It’s a Very BOSSY African Queen”. Judging by the last 2 photos, I would say that John Wayne doesn’t know his prostitutes from his fancy ladies.


3. 3
   on March 11th, 2008 at 11:17 am
   dara said:

   i am soooooo confused and confounded. me head hurts. i think it may just pop off like ken-doll’s did…..


4. 4
   on March 11th, 2008 at 11:17 am
   BOSSY said:

   You’re right! It’s supposed to be the Prostitute! Bossy will get out the Barbies and her camera and be right back!


5. 5
   on March 11th, 2008 at 11:23 am
   martha said:

   OOOooo, this is so exciting!


6. 6
   on March 11th, 2008 at 11:23 am
   MamaMo said:

   Isn’t there something Bossy is supposed to be preparing for? hmmm… or is Bossy simply doing some field research on the hazards of cross country road trips?!


7. 7
   on March 11th, 2008 at 11:28 am
   teri said:

   you are the funniest woman and the most creative.


8. 8
   on March 11th, 2008 at 11:34 am
   peppermint T said:

   See, now my husband would seriously love that movie (I’m sure he’s seen it). I much prefer the Barbie version.


9. 9
   on March 11th, 2008 at 11:37 am
   Heidi said:

   Can Bossy do all the old classics with Barbies so that I don’t have to watch them? How about Doctor Zhivago next? I’ve never seen it, but all these people keep telling me I really should, which makes me want to less and less.

   Help!


10. 10
    on March 11th, 2008 at 11:47 am
    Buf said:

    I love Bossy’s movie summaries!! Particularly the creative use of tampons and headless dolls in them. Keep it up Bossy!


11. 11
    on March 11th, 2008 at 11:47 am
    Riley said:

    Love Bossy tutorials and clever use of Tpons.
    I had an ailment once. It was twins.


12. 12
    on March 11th, 2008 at 11:56 am
    corrie said:

    Uhmmm….. Bossy? Don’t you have some preparation to do for the big excellent road trip??? You have lots of time on your hands if you can come up with such good stuff even under an impending deadline!

    I second the request for further classics to be done by Bossy and her character actors!


13. 13
    on March 11th, 2008 at 11:56 am
    blackbird said:

    I admire your ability to work tampons into each and every plot. Your film reviews will certainly suffer after menopause.


14. 14
    on March 11th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
    Foolery said:

    I have so many questions.

    Why were the African torpedos used to float the stagecoach — wouldn’t that be dangerous?

    And why, in that last clip, is Tony Curtis riding Stella?

    I can see I’ll have to rent this again. And not drink so much absinthe this time.


15. 15
    on March 11th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
    DD said:

    Wasn’t this an episode on “LOST”?


16. 16
    on March 11th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
    Grandma J said:

    I love how you can squeeze so many “townfolk” into that Barbie Corvette. Also, I couldn’t help but notice that the Gentleman’s (girl)bum was bare . Maybe the casting director should have made that flaming redhead, bare bum barbie the prostitute. AND, are you sure Apaches rode dogs?

    I have to say I love these movie “trailors”.


17. 17
    on March 11th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
    Momo Fali said:

    Well, he deserves to be shot because of that shirt he’s wearing.

    Also, I think I’m going to start referring to my kids as “ailments”. Seems fitting.


18. 18
    on March 11th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
    Caroline said:

    Can’t type. Laughing too hjard.


19. 19
    on March 11th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
    The Domestic Goddess said:

    Thanks for clearing that all up. John Wayne is looking a little like he’s lost his head lately.


20. 20
    on March 11th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
    Jillian said:

    I just love Bossy’s movie adaptations!


21. 21
    on March 11th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
    saucygrrl said:

    Oh no!! Don’t make me watch a John Wayne movie to find out the ending!!! I need the ending!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!


22. 22
    on March 11th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
    Dharmamama said:

    I think those logs would be a little too absorbent to be helpful. At least it says so on the package.

    *Love* the prostitute’s dress! Do you think they make that just a *touch* bigger?

    And – where the preacher is shot? Looks a little too much like when JFK was shot – sorry to be maudlin, but it hurt.


23. 23
    on March 11th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
    Howard said:

    Well, do they live happily ever after or does she charge for it every time?


24. 24
    on March 11th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
    Scout's Honor said:

    Wow! Bossy’s “logs” going across the swollen river are just priceless. I do think super, super absorbent would have been a better choice though, no?

    You make me smile.
    I don’t think I’ve seen the movie, but now I have all I need to know.

    More importantly, I been wondering what I should do with my eight year old’s abandoned Barbie. Now I know.

    We need to ship them to Bossy. She needs more character actors, people. I know I have several swan lake, tutti frutti, birthday barbies. I even have a TOP MODEL Barbie and several my little ponies to add toy your stable–I know you want them.

    But you’ll have to come to Seattle to get ‘em.


25. 25
    on March 11th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
    Grandma J said:

    Good idea, Scout’s Honor. Maybe someone has a Barbie motorhome…that corvette isn’t big enough for the cast. I mean what happens when Bossy tries to do The Ten Commandments? Like all those people AND Moses won’t fit in the corvette.


26. 26
    on March 11th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
    Suniverse said:

    That was the best thing ever.


27. 27
    on March 11th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
    Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants said:

    Brilliant, as usual, Queen Bossy!


28. 28
    on March 11th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
    Maria R said:

    Does john wayne get to go on an excellent road trip? YOu should really bring him.


29. 29
    on March 11th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
    Jenn @ Juggling Life said:

    My money’s on John Wayne making it!


30. 30
    on March 11th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
    All Adither said:

    I cannot wait to watch Stagecoach now. Thank you.


31. 31
    on March 11th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
    Greta said:

    Yet another instance of bloggy perfection.

    I dig that the prostitute and the baby kind of match.


32. 32
    on March 11th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
    Michael said:

    Wait, wait, wait! I’m confused(not a un-normal thing for me), last time it was Bogie with no head, now you tell me John Wayne had no head? But still wore a neckerchief? Also, if they were so worried about the Apaches, why didn’t they use the torpedos? I’m sensing major plot holes in this one and I don’t like it! Also, how big is this stagecoach? There are 49 people in it, it’s like a greyhound bus pulled by horse/s. And why was the fancy lady pregnant? She didn’t even like prostitutes!

    On a totally unrelated side note, that was awesome. Can you do Citizen Kane next?


33. 33
    on March 11th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
    mp said:

    I’ve seen these movies..but after Bossy’s version I have to go to Wikipedia to see how they really ended

    I LOVE the actors. Thanks for not getting us too attached to the preacher since she was wacked!


34. 34
    on March 11th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
    Reggiemomma said:

    Just curious if the Preacher Barbie was once a MaryKate or Ashley Barbie- if so maybe you could do one of their old movies- there are only like, 36,000 of them to choose from.

    Also, since Easter is right around the corner, I think headless Ken should play Charlton Heston in the Ten Commandment and then you could use Peep Bunnies for all the Israelites.


35. 35
    on March 11th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
    dgm said:

    I thought tampons were supposed to be super absorbent, in which case the stagecoach should have sunk. Leave it to me to point out the production bloopers.


36. 36
    on March 11th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
    jennie said:

    I love the re-enactments. I especially like the creative use of tampons. Do you choose the film based on the tampon-prop potential?


37. 37
    on March 11th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
    Suzy said:

    I was disappointed to see that the floating caravan was not on Ricky Lake. Because of this, you are so not going to win the Oscar this year.


38. 38
    on March 11th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
    TamiW said:

    I LOVE BARBIE THEATRE!!

    ENCORE! ENCORE!


39. 39
    on March 11th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
    Grandma J said:

    When Bossy gets to Orange County CA she should get her picture taken next to the humongus statue of John Wayne at…are you ready? John Wayne Airport. Bring the fancy lady with you.


40. 40
    on March 11th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
    stella said:

    oh for the love bossy, please tell me someone is paying you REALLY GOOD MONEY for this plastic doll directing debut.


41. 41
    on March 11th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
    operagal said:

    with all the beach attire, I was afraid the alcoholic doctor was being played by Jimmy Buffett!


42. 42
    on March 11th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
    andrea said:

    You can do anything with a tampon! Who knew!

    I wish you were my neighbor. I can only imagine what yours are thinking.


43. 43
    on March 11th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
    Jami said:

    I think the Xmas reindeer should at least get an Oscar nomination for his portrayal of the team of horses. I TOTALLY believed it!


44. 44
    on March 11th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
    Manic Mommy said:

    I’d like to request Gone with the Wind next. The tampons could play Ashley Wilkes.


45. 45
    on March 11th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
    dlyn said:

    I wish I lived next door to you – looks ike you are far more entertaining than the cows I live next door to now. I could say “Big Lar! Come look-n-see! That Bossy woman next door is crawling around her yard with a buncha dolls and her camera again. In orange slippers!”


46. 46
    on March 11th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
    Oh, The Joys said:

    I hate it when John loses his poor head.


47. 47
    on March 11th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
    flutter said:

    Perchance BOSSY has just maybe a little too much time on her hands? Maybe?


48. 48
    on March 11th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
    caren k. said:

    WOW! How about a musical??????? Singing in the Rain…..Oklahoma..it’s a three hour epic -something for the teenage crowd ….High School Musical or while on your road trip – something non-musical…Thelma & Louise??? Just a thought! caren


49. 49
    on March 11th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
    Strizz said:

    Your versions are way better than the movies. You should make theminto some time of short film, like the Cliff Note version.


50. 50
    on March 11th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
    Jessica said:

    The headless doll always gets the best roles.

    You crack me up.

    Hey, my husband loves John Wayne, I wonder if he would like Bossy’s version?


51. 51
    on March 11th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
    Lisa said:

    Hate to spoil it, but it was Bobby Ewing who shot John Wayne, AND JR. the prostitute freaks out over all the fussin and fightin, and realizes her real love is the tortured new mother Fancy lady. They ride off in the sunset, with a few of the calvary men. Purely for show..


52. 52
    on March 11th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
    Lisa said:

    Hate to spoil it, but it was Bobby Ewing who shot John Wayne, AND JR. the prostitute freaks out over all the fussin and fightin, and realizes her real love is the tortured new mother Fancy lady. They ride off in the sunset, with a few of the calvary men. Purely for show..


53. 53
    on March 11th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
    Lori said:

    I’ve only been lurking here for a couple of weeks and already I have come to enjoy the movie reenactments. Not only are they are quicker than actually watching the movie, but I can enjoy them at my desk at work with minimal disruption (I always burst out laughing like that anyway). Thank you!!


54. 54
    on March 11th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
    Kathy said:

    That is awesome. All of it: headless Ken, the pink stagecoach, the “logs” to keep it afloat…


55. 55
    on March 11th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
    dexter said:

    whooo hoooo, the asian girls for love and marriage are back. I’ll take 2 please


56. 56
    on March 11th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
    OneCowgirl said:

    funny post!! I saw the beginning of Wayne’s hellfighters this weekend and then got dragged to a party – I seriously considered staying home and watching the movie -


57. 57
    on March 11th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
    boots586 said:

    How about Dirty Dancing with headless Ken saying “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”. Or Grease with music and singing and dancing Barbies? If you had the camper, it could be the dressing room trailer that all the stars have.


58. 58
    on March 11th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
    OneCowgirl said:

    funny post!! I saw the beginning of Wayne’s hellfighters this weekend and then got dragged to a party – I seriously considered staying home and watching the movie -


59. 59
    on March 11th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
    Mrs. G. said:

    I hope you are taking these Barbies on the road with you. It would be fun to see them at each rest stop.


60. 60
    on March 11th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
    ellen said:

    Wow. I’ve always wanted to see “Stagecoach,” but now I don’t have to! Once again, a very awesome “re-telling” of a classic film.

    And what is it, btw, with all of these alcoholic doctors in westerns? Isn’t the doctor on Gunsmoke(known as, get this, Doc)an alcoholic?


61. 61
    on March 11th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
    Lela said:

    Omigosh this made me cry with laughter! I even scared the dog! Lol!


62. 62
    on March 11th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
    Jean said:

    OMG you have alot of TIME on your hands!


63. 63
    on March 11th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
    Karen said:

    Bossy, I just had a horrifying thought!! Will you be able to do stuff like this from your road-trip!! You are packing the Barbies, right?


64. 64
    on March 11th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
    Mom101 said:

    I have never seen Stagecoach. Had no idea at all there were so many Barbies in it. Hm. Maybe I’d like it.


65. 65
    on March 11th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
    Angela said:

    Oh my God. Do you think I could get a job doing this? Like, for money? Because that had to take a ton of time…but my, does it look like it was fun. And I am laughing myself silly right now.


66. 66
    on March 11th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
    Chesapeake Bay Woman said:

    I want some of Bossy’s drinking water.

    NOW.


67. 67
    on March 11th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
    Jessi Louise said:

    Wow, this was just like being there in the theater.


68. 68
    on March 11th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
    Cheri said:

    It looks like John Wayne would like a little, er, never mind. You’ve probably gotten that joke 1,000,000 times. Plus, I don’t want to wreck the PG-13 rating.


69. 69
    on March 11th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
    Carmen said:

    You’ve topped even yourself this time Bossy…this is one of your best yet!
    It’s hilarious…


70. 70
    on March 11th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
    Kelly Stern said:

    Should you not be planning a trip instead of playing with Barbies??? (What is the secret meaning behind the alcoholic doctor and john wayne holding hands on the hood of the car?? is that a subliminal thought about your stay in Richmond??? tee hee) We could play dolls here too… ummm NOT! heheheh


71. 71
    on March 11th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
    Surcie said:

    I’ve never seen it, and now I don’t have to! Thanks, B.

    BTW, if you’re taking requests, I’d love to see your versions of 80s flicks Red Dawn and Some Kind of Wonderful.


72. 72
    on March 11th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
    amy said:

    oh my gah, i had that same exact horse when i was 40… i LOVE that horse.


73. 73
    on March 11th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
    Ree said:

    I would let the alcoholic doctor save me. Um, if he wasn’t plastic.

    Although some of the conversations I’ve had with skin and bones men lately? maybe plastic is better.


74. 74
    on March 11th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
    mary said:

    this is action research, right? Right?

    You’ll need to know this for the road trip, right? Right?


75. 75
    on March 11th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
    Kelliqua said:

    That baby has good hair.


76. 76
    on March 11th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
    Sarah is Ok said:

    Holy crap. You’re hilarious. Encore, encore indeed! One of my favorite movies is Quills–crazies, poop on the wall, tongue-less writer. You can do that one, right?

    I feel kind of like I’m headed in the right direction since I also have an image of the orange t-pons today.


77. 77
    on March 12th, 2008 at 12:38 am
    HRH said:

    I was so worried and then saw that they DID have tampons to combat the swollen river…whew, that was a close one.


78. 78
    on March 12th, 2008 at 3:27 am
    Els said:

    Tip for next tamponpropped film: There Will be Blood.
    (Sorry, it’s a bit gross)
    (But I do really LOVE Bossy)


79. 79
    on March 12th, 2008 at 7:17 am
    Debbie said:

    I occasionally look out my window and was wondering if your neighbors could see you outside? If they know you well…no problem, but if not? Bossy..be careful..LOL

    They’re coming to take you away..hehe haha hoho!

    I adored this post!


80. 80
    on March 12th, 2008 at 8:28 am
    Mr. Fabulous said:

    May I just say: You are a fucking genius and I love you.


81. 81
    on March 12th, 2008 at 8:59 am
    SayWhat? said:

    I CANNOT wait until it’s Marlon Brando without a head! That will definately be worth the price of admission!

    Need to stock up on popcorn!

    Oh, and everyone get ready to send Bossy all the discarded Polly Pockets to use when she does her adaptation of “The Wizard of Oz.” They will be perfect for the Munchkins.


82. 82
    on March 12th, 2008 at 9:46 am
    Sheri said:

    what a hoot! laughing ass off here.


83. 83
    on March 12th, 2008 at 9:48 am
    Liz said:

    Great movie. Life would have been so much easier for them if they had those tampoon floats rather than the logs


84. 84
    on March 12th, 2008 at 10:04 am
    Aliaspice said:

    The prostitute’s hair is a Barbie dream!


85. 85
    on March 12th, 2008 at 10:09 am
    joeinvegas said:

    Thanks for the story. How about doing Jaws?


86. 86
    on March 12th, 2008 at 11:31 am
    David said:

    Tampons float?


87. 87
    on March 12th, 2008 at 11:46 am
    Jeanette said:

    That was hilarious and makes me want to watch the movie for some reason!


88. 88
    on March 12th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
    Jami said:

    A casting suggestion if you decide to follow SayWhat’s advice: you could get a beach ball to play headless Marlon Brando (The Later Years).


89. 89
    on March 12th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
    Susan said:

    “Meanwhile the prostitute is very nurturing and now the fancy lady begins to sort of like her.”

    No kidding. After having a baby I was ready to let the hospital janitor hold my kid so I could get a few minutes of rest.

    “And the prostitute is in love with John Wayne, but there’s no time to worry about that now…”

    Nope — They’re too busy trying to figure out how to keep Sheriff Eliot Spitzer from breaking up the StageCoach Club!


90. 90
    on March 12th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
    S, said:

    OK, movie requests:
    Pulp Fiction
    Showgirls
    My Fair Lady
    Gone With The Wind (good idea!)
    300
    Lord of the Rings (any of them. Kelly dolls can be hobbits.)

    Bossy, you are a super genius/ mad scientist type and I want to live next door to you so we can play!


91. 91
    on March 12th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
    Brando said:

    This should run on American Movie Classics.


92. 92
    on March 12th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
    operagal said:

    I have some Kelly dolls if you need more hobbits.

    LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR LOTR

    AND THEN? WE CAN PUT A SOUNDTRACK ON IT/
    and upload it to YouTube?


93. 93
    on March 12th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
    SayWhat? said:

    And if you follow Jami’s idea about the beach ball for Brando in the later years, the beachball could also be used as Jabba the Hutt for the Star Wars saga.

    Can Polly Pockets double as Hobbits?

    I am beginning to think we are all disturbed and are getting ready to ride “The Good Ship Lollipop” off into the sunset together. With a full cast of Barbies, Kens, Kellys, Pollys, a few GI Joes (for the Rambo movies) and a my Pretty Pony or two for giggles.


94. 94
    on March 12th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
    SayWhat? said:

    Oh and I forgot, our voyage on “The Good Ship Lollipop” would be sponsored by Tampax and Always: With WINGS! (then we would have aircraft)


95. 95
    on March 12th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
    Backpacking Dad said:

    That was an awesome post to read as an introduction to your blog. Thanks for adding just a little bit more craziness to my life.


96. 96
    on March 12th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
    Mr Farty said:

    Loved the player piano. And headless John Wayne. And “There Will be Blood” comment. And all of it.


97. 97
    on March 12th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
    Rechelle said:

    Most of the time when I read blogs, my face is like a stone. There is nothing. Just stone, stone and more stone. But today, at the very end of this blog, my face started laughing. And then I started laughing – with my face. It kind of took me by surprise. But that post was so ludicrous, that I couldn’t help it.


98. 98
    on March 12th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
    Alex Elliot said:

    I think Bossy should contact PBS about this fabulous movie.


99. 99
    on March 12th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
    CJ said:

    This was great! Thanks for sharing your research on how not to travel across country. The Saturn will be so much more comfortable than a stagecoach.

    I also was wondering what your neighbors think of Barbie theater. Do they come over with popcorn and drinks to watch the filming?


100. 100
     on March 12th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
     Tanya said:

     ROFL, what a great review. Hey, did you notice in the saloon pic, the “prostitutes” knees are kinda skinned up? lol


101. 101
     on March 13th, 2008 at 11:59 am
     meleah rebeccah said:

     I *heart* the alcoholic doctor.


102. 102
     on March 14th, 2008 at 7:31 am
     kim at allconsuming said:

     1. Before I forget, some Australian dude has written a musical of The African Queen – it was showing in Perth as part of its annual cultural festival recently. I heard an interview with the guy who wrote the libretto literally days after your post. You are so cultural ‘n that.

     2. I want to do this for the movie Transformers, which I adore and is enough proof as to why I have had four children that are all boys. But it would PALE in comparison – can you do one for me? I am having impure thoughts about autobots.


103. 103
     on March 14th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
     April said:

     That. Was. Hilarious.
     Please—-more!


104. 104
     on March 15th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
     Shade said:

     I laughed so damn hard at this – I just had to comment. You’re awesome.


105. 105
     on March 15th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
     Shade said:

     I laughed so damn hard at this – I just had to comment. You’re awesome.


106. 106
     on March 16th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
     tobacco brunette said:

     The only thing funnier than your Stagecoach tutorial would be a blog documenting its production. Full color photos of you outside posing barbies, pink corvettes and tampons. Could that be a sidebar feature for future tutorials, perhaps?


107. 107
     on March 16th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
     nancypants said:

     Oh my gosh. You just discovered the inspiration for the ill-fated show, Firefly, may she rest in peace. That is crazy. And you have problems. Possibly problems at home.

     Just kidding. My best friend and I used to always say that to each other and I needed an excuse to say it and this seemed the perfect excuse.

     So if you weren’t a Firefly fan before, now you will be forced to see it. It had the rough tough (space)cowboy who had a big bad crush on the prostitute who lived on board his vessel. Oh dear… that sounded worse than it was supposed to I think. Shutting up.


108. 108
     on March 16th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
     nancypants said:

     Oh my gosh. I just reread your whole post (sorry, I commented before without reading the whole thing) and now I realize how very uncreative the producers of Firefly were. They stole everything. Am I right in assuming the apaches were going to scalp the stagecoach people? Scalpers are in Firefly… they just have a different name. The preacher on Firefly is shot (sorry for the spoiler) and we didn’t know much about him either… lots of secrets. In the final episode the captain is challenged to a duel and (spoiler alert) he wins.

     I wonder if John Wayne knows his story has been stolen!


109. 109
     on March 17th, 2008 at 11:25 am
     sonrie said:

     Please continue doing these tutorials with old movies… especially when the characters need tampons to cross the river… couldn’t stop laughing.


110. 110
     on March 17th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
     nancypants said:

     I wouldn’t expect something as absorbent as a tampon to actually help ease the passage across the swollen river… LOL (okay, yes, I’m back today to see if anyone else noticed the crazy similarity to Firefly.) :^D


111. 111
     on March 18th, 2008 at 5:05 am
     erin said:

     You’ve got PC barbies…very good;)


112. 112
     on March 18th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
     Criquette said:

     When I was a kid, we saw the remake at the drive-in. John Wayne was in that one too. So was Ann-Margaret. She was the prostitute. She was much prettier than the fancy lady, and had cuter clothes and all the boys liked her and…I always wanted to be the prostitute when the neighborhood kids played stagecoach.


113. 113
     on March 25th, 2008 at 9:55 am
     Amber said:

     Hi-larious. I wanna come over and play Barbies.


114. 114
     on May 1st, 2008 at 12:46 am
     Pamela said:

     Will Netflix be offering Bossy’s remake of “Stagecoach” for rental?

     I especially enjoy the bird’s eye view of carnage left after the cavalry had arrived … every good western must contain some gratuitous mayhem.

     Oh my, but I’m wondering if Mz. Prostitute is the real mother of the teeny new baby, and The Duke is the biological father that pretends he hasn’t yet had s.e.x. (The plot thickens with the Amy Winehouse visible carpet burns on Prossy’s shins).

     Please, please, Bossy, let there be a sequel to release the tension and reveal the mysteries of this Barbie’s-Classic Western.

     I give 2 thumbs up!! ((and I’d play dolls with you any day!))