Dec 18, 2008
It’s Time For Another Episode Of: Everything Bossy Knows About History She Learned From Her Daughter’s Diorama.
Meet the Homo heidelbergensis. Inhabiting the earth 800,000 years ago, the nomadic Homo heidelbergensis possessed a more complex mind than their ancestors. We know this because their brains are similar in size to modern man even though their faces were disproportionately large.
Fire was very important to the Homo heidelbergensis because it was, like, the Ice Age. They used fire for other reasons, too — for instance to scare off animals, and to cook food for easier digestion:
Homo heidelbergensis divided their survival tasks into two distinct duties: the hunters and the gatherers. The women of the tribe were the gatherers. They spent their days gathering wild plants, skinning animals, weaving baskets, preparing meals, caring for their young, and making clothing. In other words, they were Martha Stewart.
The Homo heidelbergensis men were the hunters, preying on animals such as elephants, rhinos, and large oxen. Although the men had large brains, they weren’t yet utilizing key parts of it. For instance, the Homo heidelbergensis created spears, but weren’t smart enough to know they could throw their spears, so their spears were short and heavy, requiring attack at close range:
The Homo heidelbergensis lived in bands, moving from place to place during the year in search of ripe fruit and wild animals:
But now the Homo heidelbergensis are extinct. The end.
Were they hair bands?
Good job Bossy’s Daughter.
Homo heidelbergensis sure do have cute faces! Bossy’s daughter could probably sell those cute figurines on etsy!
Is that a Mastodon? DANGER, little dude with the spear, DANGER!
A+++ Bossy’s daughter!
I wonder if itunes has any vintage playlists from that homo band… sounds hot
In my neck of the woods we call bobos “maypops”. As in, “those shoes are so cheap your toe maypop through.” ;^)
I think one of the best raucious, rockin-wild concerts I ever was Motley…and I mean ROCKIN WILD.Lost both shoes-MY BANDANA (oy) and earrings that night, not to mention my hearing for a week. IT WAS AWESOME.
those little-box people aint got nothin on the crue, but the mini-boss makes a cute diarama forHomo heidelbergensis to live in! Nice job..
Homo heidelbergensis – I think I’m a throw-back as I have a VERY LARGE HEAD with no scientific proof that my brain takes up all the extra space. Seriously, I wear a larger size hat than my boyfriend. And it’s not because I have a ton more hair then he does. I am a Big Head. Fer sure.
Bossy’s daughters diorama rocks. But I want to tell the woolly mammoth/mastadon thing to RUN! RUN fast! There’s a DUDE! With a SPEAR! Sneaking up on you! Runrunrun cute little clay creature.
Oh man, that was way better than my entire semester of Prehistoric Archaeology. Bossy’s next career should be college professor.
Bwahahahaha!!!! You never can have too many dioramas, is what I’m thinking.
Is it me, or are the Homo heidelbergensis made from poo?
The Homo heidelbergensis world has very colorful water.
“…then the Homo heidelbergensis invented Aqua Net and slowly burned a hole in the atmosphere resulting in catastrophic climate changes and poor taste in music.”
The End
I think Bossy and Her Daughter would make a fabulous team for teaching. I’d go to the College of Bossy in a second.
Homo Heidelbergensis? Sounds like a Jewish gay man.
HA!! I am rubbing my palms together with anticipation thinking that maybe a BARBIE episode is coming!!!
One berry feeds all. TONS of antioxidants.
>>Is it me, or are the Homo heidelbergensis made from poo?
I was thinking the flames of fire looked like little penii.
Tuli, I bet my head is bigger than yours. I even notice it in family pictures. Cranium Ginormicus, am I.
Big-headed sisters unite!!
Bossy, I love your daughter. I hope mine grows up to be like yours, except of course her own little version of her.
It seems that Bossy’s daughter did all of her research from The Clan of the Cave Bear…
David Attenborough, eat your heart out!
Um. It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. Moving..new PC..but you don’t want my excuses. Let’s discuss your comment about cooked food being EASIER TO DIGEST.
Bossy has never explored the raw food movement has she? Because she would know that raw food is easier on the body to digest, giving the body more time to regenerate, which, if you’re doing to be devoured by a saber tooth tiger, doesn’t really matter….but I digress…they don’t all it the raw food MOVEMENT for nothin’ either….Raw Food Movement is another way to say Easy To Digest.
Call me. We’ll talk raw.
OOH OOH, you mentioned my name in that last picture caption, Does that mean I win the XBOX????
But did they blog?
Bossy’s daughter is very creative and smart.
So the Homo heidelbergensis used fire to counteract the Ice Age….and of course to cook their berries, wild oats, and prey like oxen and dinosaur-rex type animals.
With all this heat going on, the start of global warming began…in steps Al Gore to stomp out the fire and teach the Homo heidelbergensiz how to swim in the melted ice…now called water.
That’s one big berry Mr. Homo Heidelbergensiz has there. I guess everything was bigger back then. *sigh*
Whew. My very tired eyes + probable attention deficit disorder = “Everything Bossy knows about history she learned from her daughter’s diarrhea.”
I’m relieved on two counts. First and foremost, that Bossy’s daughter does not have diarrhea. Second, that Bossy learned her history from a more solid source.
scholarship to art school for Daisy then?
I love me some diorama, ever since I had to make a cliff-dweller community out of matchboxes and watered-down clay to pass 4th grade. And Bossette’s is charming. But the fire, the fire — is it made of gummy worms? I need to know.
PS: Not to be mean, but what IS it about food fanatics that they have to use every excuse to shill for their weird diets? Can we have a Bossy tutorial on that?
And once again, you lost me at “diorama.”
The band photo is priceless. Seriously.
At least one of the band members figured out how to used the spear to attack a zebra and make some fetching boots. Now that is some complex brain processing in action.
>>Homo Heidelbergensis? Sounds like a Jewish gay man.
@Dharmamama – Ha!
Are Bossy’s eyes really that blue?!? Wow! I mean, wow!
This was the funniest of yours I have read, I think, B. Thanks for the grin!
But where are the dinosaurs? SP said that they lived at the same time as our ancestors did.