Apr 6, 2009
Where Martha Stewart Becomes The Expert On Grinding.
You are looking at Bossy’s library book. Beginning with stocks and soups and moving through creamed butter, Martha Stewart’s Cooking School offers not just recipes but her expertise in methods and equipment. But it’s Monday, so let’s just skip ahead, shall we?
According to Martha Stewart, grinding is an important factor in the kitchen. You can turn to your butcher for your grinding needs, of course. But according to Martha, there is increased satisfaction when you do your own grinding and the outcome is juicier, although one has to be careful about improper handling, and Bossy is sorry but are we still talking about ground beef?
Similarly, Martha offers the following tips regarding the forming of hamburger patties: handle gently, and be careful not to press too hard, which can result in the loss of delicious juices, causing the meat to shrink.
Seriously. It’s what Martha said.
You know if her daughter and her daughter’s pal get a hold of this, it’s going to be a 30 minute schtick on “Whatever, Martha”!
All innuendo aside, I have ground my own meat, with a hand grinder from the 1800s, and honestly? A total pain in the ass and REAL gross. If at all possible, get your butcher to do it. We can’t very well waltz into Safeway with our venison and ask the butcher to grind it, so we have to do our own, but the nasty stringy bits that clog the grinder and the fat squooshing out the holes and the clean-up? EW.
Between grinding her own meat, then gently handling, patting, and forming it with her own hands, I’m starting to get a creepy feeling about Martha’s meat.
I don’t get the allure of grinding your own beef. I don’t get the allure of butchering it, either.
Let someone else do that for me.
I never liked Martha. She came across as being stuck up. A know it all.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Martha, Martha, Martha. You are one repressed being, methinks.
I’m thinking it was all those months in lock-up. They can really get to you – not that I would know firsthand, of course.
No mention of bumping in there? Either way, that whole binding bit sounds particularly kinky.
There’s nothing wrong with pressing hard.
Only you Bossy. Only you. Oh and Martha. Only you and Martha. I would have never guessed it.
I handle all meat with authority.
Kitchen Porn.
Was that book in the “Adult Content” section?
and don’t you just hate it when the meat shrinks?
My, my. Martha’s mind is in the gutter.
hee hee! I love the visual!
In my…um…experience, excessive handling of meat causes it to expand, not shrink. Maybe that’s just me.
So, are you going to make your own pate now too? In the patented Martha Stewart brand pate grinder?
Yeah,
Martha also had a recipe for making your own marshmallows. I mean… WHY?!
What on earth happened to that woman as a child, is all I want to know
hahaha..What a great Monday read! Must twitter about this…lol
Who needs The Joy of Sex when we’ve got Martha Stewart’s Cooking School?
#1-Alwyn, What’s “Whatever Martha”? Is that a real show or blog or something?
one of her editors secretly loathes her to let that get through.
I think Martha has too much “time” on her hands!!
What timing! Surcie needs some good dinner recipes and has been thinking about purchasing this cookbook or “How to Cook Everything” by Mark Bittman. She’d love to know if Bossy has a favorite cookbook!
One understands suddenly why Martha is not a vegan. How about a book “From the Kitchen to the Bedroom….”
Too funny!
Thanks for stopping by my blog & leaving me that comment – that is exactly what I needed to hear. Gracias!!
Loving your blog,too – I’ll be back!
Oh Lord…I got the Homekeeping book for Christmas, but haven’t had the nerve to open it yet. I guess it is time to get it out
I just can’t see Martha grinding to Flo Rida
I’ve always suspected that one touch from Martha would make most meat to shrink.
Last time I used the meat grinder, this white gooey stuff ended up all over the place, and DAMN, it’s a bitch to clean.
Yeah, and I’m sure Martha’s butler Pierre just loves the fact that she only eats fresh ground meat from home.
Martha is a naughty naughty lady.
Good grief! When Martha isn’t grinding her own meat, she is sharpening her garden tools with sand and motor oil and making her own floral paperweights under vintage glass. And that should all makes us feel sane!
I love it when you talk dirty, BOSSY.
That Martha. She’s a super freak, super freak, she’s super freakaaaay. Yow.
Who would have guessed.
Wait a second, the plot thickens. She wrote a book called Martha Stewart’s Hooking School?
I’d have been by to read this post sooner if I’d know we were talking about how to make quick work of certain jobs? That’s what we’re talking about, right?
Only because I love you, Bossy, and because I know you would appreciate this…
http://digg.com/d1nmSv
Yes, even Martha Stewart queefs!
I don’t get it.
Okay, I do. And I love it.
Bossy, I had no idea that “Bossy’s friend Martha” was THAT Martha! Is there anyone Bossy doesn’t know?
I didn’t even get past the title of this post and I had to wipe off the drink I coughed onto my screen. Now I have mental pictures. Thanks.
Martha and Bossy are both naughty ladies!
Oh Martha!
and speaking of Martha….you know I have my new baking blog, and now….get ready for this, hold on to your hat…..I have a video on YouTube, put out by Dove Chocolate Discoveries. I know, and you met me once
not to mention, Im going to be uploading some picks of MY version of Bakerella’s cake pops, my version as in, cake pops that looked like they were hit by a truck, or forgot to go to their botox appointment.
Is it wrong that the thing that most entices me about that book is the font that it is written in?
I think I need to get a life.
Good lord, is that a cross section of something in her hand?
Who knew that Martha was the queen of innuendo?
Laughing my ass off.
Seriously, you are one funny lady. I am a terrible lurker but I do love your site, it gives me a laugh a day. This one caused me to laugh out loud – my kids think I am crazy!
Thank you for starting my day with a smile.
hilarious. HAH.