Apr 18, 2006

Dear Bossy

I’m thinking of taking up knitting. Do you think this is a cool hobby?

- Craftless
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Dear Craftless,

Kno. It’s an extremely Knerdy hobby. The knotion of knitting itself is fine – everyone kneeds sweaters. And Bossy enjoys the old-timey knature of the kneighborhood knitting stores — although this trend of parking oneself for hours around a gossipy table without purchasing a single item must be something of a retail knightmare.

But the thing Bossy finds kneedling are the knames of these stores, ever knotice? Within twenty miles of Bossy’s desk chair, we have Ewe & I, Woolplay, Knit With, Knittin’ To It, and Knitty Knotty.

Then we have names that weave knonsensical, like Tangled Web, and A Garden Of Yarn – and the names meant to evoke knirvana, like Knitting Niche, Knitting Knook, and the congruous Neitzie’s Nook.

And then there are those knames meant to keep the sign-makers painting through knext week, such as Just a Knitting Basket, Finely A Knitting Party, and Bossy’s personal favorite: Knitting To Know Ewe.

Is Bossy the only one who thinks this is knuts? Anyway, perhaps you should take up a less tedious hobby, such as Knotting.