Mar 25, 2008
Bossy’s Excellent Road Trip. Day One.
Today is the first day of Bossy’s thirty-five day Road Trip and guess what? She overslept. No biggie, it’s not like she still has to finish shoving packing or buy a case of water or figure out which jackets to bring or write a blog post or drive to D.C.! Oh, wait.
In order to save time, Bossy will write today’s post devoid of a few of the details she typically includes. She will leave place markers for these details so she can add them at a later date, for instance when she is released from the insane asylum.
First Bossy wants to announce the winner of yesterday’s contest. There were several people who correctly guessed the chronological order Bossy will drive the Saturn hybrids INSERT BLOGGER NAMES AND LINKS HERE and so Bossy threw the seven winning guesses into a hat INSERT PHOTO OF NAMES IN THE EASTER M&M BAG and Bossy’s son fished around and selected the winner INSERT PHOTO OF TEENAGE SON REMOVING “Domestic Goddess” FROM SUGARY M&M BAG.
Congratulations Domestic Goddess! Please email Bossy with your address to collect your prize since she just noticed you leave comments without including your email address and do you mean to tell Bossy you can do that? Do you mean to say that Bossy has been obediently providing her email address in every comment section across the universe for the last 62-years when it isn’t necessary?
The next order of business: Bossy is about to leave on a little excursion she likes to call Project Constipation. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? Here are the Excellent Road Trip rules: Bossy will post every day. She’ll provide a Road Trip photo of the day. She’ll talk about the restrooms-across-America beautiful scenery and the countless people she will meet.
Bossy’s first stop is D.C. She’ll be staying with him and she can’t wait because he’s already offered her tons of packing advice which includes booze and should guarantee a suitcase brimming with ill-fitting shirts and unmatched socks.
On Wednesday Bossy will be in Richmond. Thursday: Atlanta. Shall we begin?
Woo Hoo!! Yes, let’s begin!
And, just because I don’t want Bossy to feel alone, I ate a lot of cheese yesterday so I’d be constipated too.
Dude. I’m so excited. Why didn’t you have a contest for someone to come ride shot-gun. Rude much?
Yay for Richmond tomorrow!! Honk when you go through…I’ll be the woman mooning you from one of the office buildings…kinda a Where’s Waldo for office dwellers.
Ruh-roh!
JODI has, like, twenty-something days to clean crap off her sofa so that BOSSY has a place to lay her pretty head while in Wisconsin.
Travel safe!
HOW EXCITING!! Hope you loaded up on postcard stamps, so you can send reports home on cheesy images purchased from truck stops.
Traveling mercies Bossy.
Are we there yet?
Have fun and drive safe!
Don’t forget your radar detector and GPS.
Bossylicious?
Me thinks we didn’t think this whole trip through did we… Sure sure sounds good on paper till your knee deep in empty Dasani bottles and Pocki boxes in a sponsored Saturn halfway across the US!!!
I thought I would have the panic attack for you, ya know one last thing to pack.
Everything is good now.
Nothing to see here.
Move along!
when we flew back from Europe the seats had these heat and massage contraptions in them that I left on for most of the trip and I guess most of the passengers did because most of the trip there was a long line to use the bathroom…first time I saw the opposite of what usually happens on trips…then there was the time that we were traveling the california auto route and I ran out of all but kiwi and mayo to make sandwiches… that worked well too…
happy trails!
Have fun and safe travels!!!
I am so excited! Keep us updated on project constipation.
Where will BOSSY poop?
Loving stalkers want to know!
Oooo goody..of course I’m leaving for vacation and will have like a week and a half of posts to read when I get home.. Drive super save and bring some hand sanitizer for those rest stops.
I bet it was my turn to be the “reader” wasn’t it? Damn…
Drive safe and the Cleveland/Erie contingency is looking forward to seeing you!!!!!
I’ve heard the first stall in the public bathrooms are the least used so make sure to do your business there! (Info I have not idea why I have in my brain)
“Have fun stormin’ the castle.”
Can’t wait to meet you in Michigan!
Go Bossy, go Bossy!
Have fun, Bossy! I am going to mention you during my first ever Drinkin’ Liberally on Thursday.
You rock!
So jazzed to be the first stop. Can’t wait to start drinking…um I mean see you…tonight.
Godspeed, Bossy.
I hear you on the, uh, issue.
Oh, Bossy. I never even thought of the “where will Bossy poop?” issue. You’re a brave, brave woman with very few hangups, as I am beginning to see. All the best to you in your 9,000 hours of driving and endless days of having a very sore butt. Are you driving with a donut?
Bon Voyage, BOSSY. Did you get some books on tape for the drive?
HOLY CARP! NO WAY! I WON! I WON!!!!!!
I never win anything! WAAAHOOOO!!!! I had no idea I didn’t leave my e-mail. I will fix it, honest.
Have a great trip, Bossy. Can’t wait to hear about all those awesome people you get to meet. Is SLC on your trip? gonna see Dooce?
Yeah for Bossy’s excellent road trip! Do you think you could squeeze in responding to each and every comment, too? I’m not sure you’ve packed enough in during your time away.
Be safe…can’t wait for the Detroit stop!
And thus it begins… I am honered you will be making your second stop at my home… though you will be covered in white dog hair when you leave… don’t wear black in my house…and don’t wear white, it will show the Cosmo stains…tee hee… looks like great weather for hanging on the porch and waiting for everyone to get off work…I hope we stay sober enough to make it to restaurant…hehehe… smooches! drive safe!
Oh boy! I am so excited, it’s almost like I’m going too….oh wait..I’m not even a destination for crying out loud. But I’m excited anyway.
I’m nervous about the case of water! What the heck is with that? Bossy isn’t crossing the desert in a covered wagon or a Packard that might overheat. Bossy can buy water “as she goes”. I shouldn’t be so nervous because it’s not like Bossy has four cases of soda in her trunk. And then someone rear ends her and there is soda all over the road. Because when soda is on sale, you want to buy plenty because who knows when it will go on sale again? Just so you know, this is what my mother did several years ago…she didn’t even drink soda…but it was such a deal!
Happy trails to you, Bossy!!!
Oh boy! I am so excited, it’s almost like I’m going too….oh wait..I’m not even a destination for crying out loud. But I’m excited anyway.
I’m nervous about the case of water! What the heck is with that? Bossy isn’t crossing the desert in a covered wagon or a Packard that might overheat. Bossy can buy water “as she goes”. I shouldn’t be so nervous because it’s not like Bossy has four cases of soda in her trunk. And then someone rear ends her and there is soda all over the road. Because when soda is on sale, you want to buy plenty because who knows when it will go on sale again? Just so you know, this is what my mother did several years ago…she didn’t even drink soda…but it was such a deal!
Happy trails to you, Bossy!!!
Hot water and lemon….cheers!
Safe travels, Bossy. Hey, are the Saturn folks filming you for a future commercial? That would be too cool!!
I’m very familiar with Project Constipation. Drive safely! May BOSSY encounter many green lights and mild traffic.
Safe travels, dear.
Are we there yet?
Well, are we?
Are we there NOW?
Oh, wait – no kids on this trip. LUCKY!
Seriously – are we there yet?
LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
Safe travels Bossy.
Have a great time!
Can’t wait to read about the updates.
Sweet! Im so excited the road trip has begun. This is soooo awesome.
GET ER DONE!!!!!!!
WAHOO!!!!
So exciting! I’m channeling the beginning of the cattle drive scene from City Slickers – yee haw!
Be safe.
Go Bossy! I think you aren’t coming through Memphis so I won’t get to see you. But if you are planning to do so let me know.
Be safe and keep 911 at the ready incase any of the stops are truly crazy!!
beverly
And… she’s OFF! So sorry to be missing the gathering of the uber-cool DC Kids. Throw back a drink for me, will ya? And please, pace yourself; you don’t wanna shoot your wad on the first night, now, do you?
May you have safe travels.
And *erm* productive pit stops.
Stay away from truck stop beef jerky. Stick with peanut M&Ms and beer. No, I mean water.
Oh goodness. I forgot about the pooping, or lack there of. Good luck with that. I actually have the complete opposite problem and a what should be a two hour drive takes me about 3 and half because I have to stop all the time to poop. Go figure that one out.
See you in Chicago!
Woo hoo! I’m meeting Bossy on Friday!
It’s a shame you are coming through Richmond tomorrow and not this weekend, which is when we will be having our Irish Festival. We will spend all weekend drinking beer (all proceeds from the beer sales go to a local church, so we are drinking for Jesus.)
Woohooo! Hope you got some kick ass road music pumping!