May 7, 2008
Where Bossy Has Another One Of Those Ideas.
Bossy was feeling very overwhelmed by her house the other day, which is nothing new—but Bossy has become insufferable because she’s been living in a car trunk for five weeks, and now believes all belongings beyond a container of Pringles and a sturdy pair of uglies constitute clutter.
Dirty wet washcloths, paperwork, weeds, dog hair, pollen, bathtub grime, unworn clothes, dog hair, oak tree funk, wilted lettuce, unworn shoes, more weeds, unworn jackets, dog hair dog hair!
Bossy needs to spring clean, and while she’s at it she needs to clean for last winter and the summer prior and the entire year before that.
And she needs to reclaim her garden and sell her unworn clothes on eBay and finish painting the underside of her porch and reorganize her home office, and scrub her vegetable bin, and instead Bossy does this:
So Bossy got thinking about all of her friends who are avoiding similar lists, and when Bossy says all of her friends she is talking abut her friend Martha. And then Bossy thought about her friend Amy who isn’t avoiding much of anything, but Amy likes to drink beer. And so Bossy called these two friends, and when Bossy says called she means emailed.
And in this email Bossy described forming a Grrlz Moral Support Co-Op, where each friend donates two days of their time to the other two co-op friends in order to accomplish things on their to-do list, followed by a third day where the two friends are available to assist in the tasks of your choosing, and who thinks Bossy could make that way easier to understand with even the smallest amount of editing?
It’s like this:
And when Martha received Bossy’s email she was all, “Hellza yes, I have many things on my to-do list that would benefit from forming a Grrlz co-op!” And when Amy received the email she was all, “Beer!”
And so yesterday Martha and Amy reported to Bossy’s house at 11 a.m. for Day One of the Grllz Support Group Co-Op, and raise your hand if you think that name is too clunky to catch on?
Anyway. For Bossy’s designated day, she decided to make it all about gardening. Which means weeding. This is because Bossy’s garden is totally overrun by a hideous purple-flower weed—and lord help Martha, if she would have stayed in this spot for two more minutes the weed would have wrapped itself around Martha’s roots and cut off her supply of water and air:
Here is another angle of the overwhelming mass of weeds, and Bossy’s Grllz who crawled around on their hands and knees while Bossy snapped photos also crawled around on her hands and knees:
In no time at all three hellacious hours, the Grllz were done and the garden was beautiful:
Which is when Amy thought it would be relaxing to sit in a chair and sun herself be attacked by a Great Dane and a ball:
Soon Bossy invited the Grrlz into the house for a very healthy low calorie salad. And a crap load of beer:
Today Bossy and her friend Amy are going to Martha’s house, where they are going to build walls replace windows polish silverware. Bossy will provide more details as they become available, and in the meantime, go out there and form your own Grrlz Moral Support Co-Op! The midday beer is delicious!
Totally fabulous idea! If only I were a grrlz … *sigh* Maybe my co-op could some up with a support co-op. Or is that too much “co-op?”
Mmm. Beer.
oh. and the garden looks GREAT!
LOL I only wish I lived in that secret place known as Bossy’s town so that I could have joined in on the fun. Assuming that Bossy actually knew I existed *grin*
Great idea, now if I can sell that to others in my neck-o-the-woods.
Garden looks great … ready to begin.
Sadly Bossy’s salad is bigger than my garden
Funny as usual, Bossy. Now get your ass over here, it’s pay back time!
What a great idea! I especially like that you were all wearing the same color shirt. Is this some sort of co-op uniform, or a beer-induced happy accident?
grrlz must wear red and black.
because they are fabulously fabulous weed-pullers!
MMMMmmm. Yuengling! From near my hometown!
Fabulous idea! I call beer girl!
(Is it Grrlz or Grllz? Are you being purposefully ambiguous in order to manipulate society’s reliance on stereotypes and predictability in modern language? You are, aren’t you.)
Beer in the afternoon and a clean house at the end of the day. What could be better???
I’ve had that idea for years–but I’ve been trying to get my husband to do it with the neighborhood guys. I find I’m not so much into the hard labor these days–but the beer; I’m totally into that.
The Bossy Movement — Damn Lady, you’re really onto something here.
That is an absolutely brilliant idea. Bossy is smart!
Bossy comes up with the best ideas!
No one else I know would ever think about the grlzz support group co-op. Much less decide to drive across the country.
So rockin’!
I am a new reader to your blog and really get a kick out of your writing.
But I now I know the real reason I like it so much…..you are a fellow Yuengling Lager lover!!!
Brilliant!! Mamma Loves this idea.
I wish I had such helpful grllz to call upon!
LOVE THE BEER
That is a brilliant idea! I think I need to make some phone calls….
And you think of this AFTER I’ve been painting for A WEEK?
I happen to know that Bossy HAS some painting skillz, whilst I have wardrobe weeding skillz.
But did I hear about this ingenious plan?
NO.
They don’t call you Bossy for nothin!
I imagined you barking orders (and poses “Martha, give me tired!”, “Amy, give me a sexy pose in my husband’s sandals!”) as you snapped pictures away all day.
You are too funny and I have been telling all my blog reading friends about how stinking funny you are.
Barbie Doll Oprah was GENIUS!
Stunt beer? STUNT BEER? Stunt beer is fricking brilliant, because first you have to DRINK the beer to make it empty so it can become the stunt beer. Do you think Amy will marry me?
Fabulous idea…wish I lived near you.
**ATTENTION ANYONE IN OC**
I will start a co-op, and you will be invited to come and help me tame the beast that is called laundry; some to the school for the blind, some to wash, some to throw away, some to fold.
I think my co-op is more frightful than those beautiful purple “weeds” in your garden.
I’m discovering that at 32 weeks pregnant it can be terribly difficult to pull weeds. I’ve put down a blanket of Preens in the hope that it will help until I can better attend the garden, but now I’ve got an even better idea…yours! Yeah for Grrlz Moral Support Co-Op. Oh the fun.
Bossy, Amy and Martha look super skinny in that first picture. And was it hard to garden without hands? xoxo, SG
I totally thought it was going to be about good support bras for our Griddle Grllz.
And those WEEDS? Excuse me? VIOLETS!
I planted those on purpose.
And the beer? Yuengling! Oh yeah.
…you had me at BEER!
This is such a great idea.
Too bad I don’t have any friends to call …
You need one of those Dyson Ball vacuums for the hair, the expensive one has an animal hair brush. But don’t worry, Dyson would probably give you one for free since all your readers do everything you do – watch me go weed my garden and drink beer now.
A couple of observations:
Has Bossy noticed that Martha has purple hair? Is Bossy sure she trusts someone with purple hair to weed her garden?
Strange, isn’t it, that Bossy’s home was the FIRST to benefit from the co-op? Neatly orchestrated, Bossy.
And it’d all be so much more fun with Grrrlz to gossip with. Sadly, my grrrlz and I are all too busy chasing little, tiny kids to get diddly done. Someday…
How about the Grrlz Can-Do Co-op?
Can garden, can of beer.
Nice idea and fab execution! I’ve thought about these coops forever and now five of us families are about to start one. Sharing childcare, doing house projects, etc. Insta-extended family. Without the baggage.
Rock on, Grrlz!
This could be bigger than your road trip. Awesome idea; remember the casserole clubs? Or maybe that just happened on my block?
I was thinking that sounded good right up to that second photo with all the weeds and dirt and bending over. That’s where I woulda thought, Wait…what?
Hmmm..I’m thinking BOYZZZ co-op, but with a change-up. Like the grlzz get together to drink beer and make up lists of what the boys can do for THREE DAYS in our houses. Yes. I likeee this plan much.
BOSSY – I have the same purpley-blue weed in my yard. Only I just call it “ground cover”
It took over a good chunk of the front yard before I moved in and I decided to just let it be. 
And Yuengling beer? Yum! We don’t see that too often around MI.
I will have to round up some grrrlz of my own – what a great idea!
Screw the chores–I want a Beer Grrrlz Co-Op! Who’s with me?
That is an amazing idea. I wish I hadn’t left all my grllz in Arizona to come move to Canada where grllz could very definitely be used but alas…there are none to be had.
I mean, there ARE girls here, but none of them are my friend.
Grrrlz or Grrriiilllzzz? I kept envisioning you three getting ‘grills’ on your teeth, a la L’il Jon. ‘Yeah!’
We have a COMMUNITY GOSSIP Co-op. They gather at the cluster-mailbox and wait for Kevin, the mailman. Kevin arrives at about 3 pm, but the co-op members start converging at noon. I almost blogged about this but when they saw my camera, all of the co-op members scattered like chickens in a henhouse when the fox arrives. Me being the fox, not Kevin. Maybe if I brought beer?
super sassy and smart- love it.
My friend, Tiff, and I have a standing Thursday date for the very same thing. She has me organize her kitchen island (almost everytime) and I have her wash out the kids’ underwear (oh I kid). Works out great. We may have to follow Bossy’s example and do a little imbibing on the job as well. Looks like much more fun!
The point where BEER showed up is the point where all fruitful activity would STOP in my neck of the woods. I’m in.
I LOVE that idea!! My attic is a mess and I have been avoiding it like the plague. I need me some GRRLLZ for sure………..
mmmmmmmmn – Yuengling! Better out of bottles though. Even better on tap, at a bar and then you can skip all that nasty work.
Excellent idea! I think I need to start one of those (or get in on yours!)!
Oh, I also highly approve of your choice of beer — Yuengling (aka “Vitamin Y”)!
I’d love to form a Grrlzzkdkljsp but all of my friends work at jobs outside the home. They’d probably have me do something like sit in on a conference or perform surgery. I’d have to tell the patient “It’s okay. Your doctor is at my house right now picking up dog shit. This is my contribution”.
Bossy, you have my address from the road trip. (Are you doing a part II where you come North, BTW?)
Please send the co-op to my garden. I have beer. I can polish silverware.
This is a great idea.
Love it. Love the beer. Love the uniforms. Love the title. Love the fact that yours was the first list to be tackled.
Will be orchestrating my own co-op, Northwest mommy style. (This is where we wear parkas and rain boots to garden in and we bring our babies with us and park them in a rwo of pack n’ plays.
Instead of beers, we drink diet cokes because we most of the mommies in our soon to be formed co-op are their own organic, natural milk sources for their children, and thus cannot drink the alcohol in the daytime.)
I wish you lived around the corner from me.
Freaking hilarious!
and by rwo, I mean, row. And by “we most” I mean, just most…not “we most.” as you can plainly see, I am sleep deprived and suffering from an inability to edit my post prior to posting. I do apologize.
Girls Co-op sounds super fun! I can’t count how many to do lists I have blown off to watch marathons of Bravo reality shows. Are they addictive or what?!?
I can’t wait to move and get settled and find some good girls with which to have camaraderie and create shenanigans!
That’s such a great idea!
A terrific idea and a hilarious post (as usual). It’s like Tom Sawyer painting the fence, but more attractive and with beer.
What a great idea! I’m going to go make some phone calls right now!
I think I love you.
Really none of my business, but, did I see marijuana growing on the left side of your flower bed? If so, is that cool to have a picture of that on national bloggerphere? I’m just say’in.
SUCH a great idea. I’d much rather deal with a girlfriend’s shiz than deal with my own. (So now I need to find some girlfriends ’round heya!)
My shiz involves hanging pictures on walls and putting thousands of photos in albums. Could I have image issues?
I am glad to see BOSSY makes her salads in big metal mixing bowls, too!
They say many hands make light work…and a couple of beers ensure many hands show up!
Brilliant idea.. jobs are the house though are for my husband…keeps him off the Xbox.
MMMMM! Yuengling!
Reason # Twelve Squillion why Bossy is my hero and I am cyber-stalking her: Bossy drinks a super cool kind of beer. I can’t spell it, but me likey.
You know, maybe we should see if some of those Vietnamese Beauty Grrrrlz in the Google ad wanna join one of our co-ops. They probably have some time to kill until the find true luuuuuurve.
I’ve always wanted to start a grrlz’ co-op to deal with the chaos that results when rushing out the door to begin a vacation — the unmade beds, the dishwasher that needs to be emptied, the milk that’s going to sour in the fridge… But my fellow neighbor grrlz ignore me because I don’t have babies like them. Even though one of them left the front door wide open when she went on vacation and I was the neighbor who went inside and made sure her house was okay and then closed the door.
Mmmmmm. Beer. I’m THIRST-y:
http://meandyouandellie.blogspot.com/2008/05/thirst.html
Fabulous idea! FAB-U-LOUS!
I’m thinking I’m going to do it, but it’s just going to be a GRLLZ BEER CO-OP. No need for tedious chores.
Ahh, Yuengling. The one thing the mid-Atlantic region has over the Northeast. Sam Adams is just no replacement.
But did Stella help?
And all the while, Bert is left standing on that friggin lima rig in Casper Wyoming…trying to start her own Grrlz Co-op. No beer, no weeds no Grrlz.
*pouts at not being a Grrlz*
*then recalls never having to buy or know how to use (install?) a sanitary napkin and cheers up*
You guys are such good PA girls…drinking Yengling and what not (yes, that’s how I spell Yengling…I also spell Cusak with no “c”).
Did you see Heather Armstrong on the Today show today? I liked her outfit but I don’t think she and I can ever be friends as her legs appeared much thinner than mine. oh well.
xoxo
tcb
Bossy’s idea is what it says on Amy’s shirt. And I have the same shirt as Amy. Just sayin’.
My friends would work hard on the beer part of this equation and hardly work on the other part.
Then again, so would I.
Let’s just skip the work and go straight to the beer drinking.
Grand idea.
Sounds like you could call it “Drink it forward”.
Or create one of the most successful Network Marketing companies ever.
MMmmmm, Yeungling. *drool*
Also, I want to dig up your entire yard and put it out back of my house. By my very scientific calculations, this will save me approximately 233753 hours of hard labor to create something myself. Because the back yard is big. and full of grass. and dirt. And yours appears much, much better.
I might have to steal this co-op idea, though. That might be a more practical way to begin the backyard overhaul.
I LOVE this idea. I have done something similar with a group I’m in, but not enough people actually participated. Maybe we need the beer bribe, er, incentive.
Now I want purple hair like Bossy’s friend Martha. But I would settle for just hair.
It’s a great idea, and the only thing lacking about it is that you didn’t spend 8 kajillion days and eleventy billion emails organizing it. Sooooo, as a community service event, perhaps you should invent a plug-in or some html code or something that would allow all of us who want to join a Grrlzz Co-op in our area find each other locally. Or maybe you could go on a road trip so bloggers who live practically next door to each other could meet up for the very first time and then join forces to combat each other’s weeds.
Aren’t you so glad you have readers with bright ideas, since you don’t have enough ways to fill your own time.
But I don’t own a RED TSHIRT. So I can’t do it right? Lets look over the fact that I live in the middle of nowhere and don’t know anyone who owns red shirts either…
Can I please come, pretty please? Please? Will totally BYOB and I do windows.
“Stunt Beer” … that’s awesome and original, so five extra points. I love girl friends, they make the world a better place.
Great Idea! Now to get all my girlfriends in the same town on the same day…
Can I have a Martini instead of the Beer?
Grreat idea Bossy!
Not only is Bossy smart for coming up with a truly fantastic idea but she is BRILLIANT for starting the truly fantastic idea at her house. That way if it doesn’t, you know, catch on, you still got the weeding done!
Brilliant! And with beer! Brilliant-er
Those purple flower weed things are pretty, why not just leave them?
fan-FRICKIN-tastic!!
What a grand idea!
And my husband wants to know what kind of beer is that. Because that’s the important thing, isn’t it?
I think this is brilliant.
Although, I think it’s SCARY that for some reason google is now advertising young @sian females in your sidebar.
Sign me up.
I just found your blog today, while pissing around on Twitter, and it’s awesome. I just killed a good hour at work, thanks!
<3,
Erin
I did this when my kids were small. We called it the HSA (Housework Sucks Association) and we had 5 of us. We did it once a month, so you only got your house worked on every 5th month, but we did stuff like wallpapering, painting, gardening, closet cleaning, even sheetrocking. Oh, how I wish I had friends I could do this with now, but I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t be grossed out by my messy house!
I did this when my kids were small. We called it the HSA (Housework Sucks Association) and we had 5 of us. We did it once a month, so you only got your house worked on every 5th month, but we did stuff like wallpapering, painting, gardening, closet cleaning, even sheetrocking. Oh, how I wish I had friends I could do this with now, but I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t be grossed out by my messy house!
What kind of beer is that??? Looks fur-ren. I Heart Bossy.
This is such a fabulous idea, absolutely fabulous, including the beer.
you are a genius – genius I say! But I think you already knew that~
I’d be inspired to form a parallel Gay Boyzzz Moral Support Co-Op but we’re all too busy being ta’am gan eyden.
What a wonderful idea!! I will have to see if my friends will do it! I have a long list of things to get done around here. Unpacking for starters, since some boxes have been in the garage for a year.
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Totally doing this with my Mom, my Sister, and my Neighbor. And, oddly enough, my name is Aimee (Amy) and I like to drink beer! Perfect!!!!
WANT.
Another fabulous idea, Bossy. I see a MacArthur Genius Grant in your near future!
Yuengling Lager can only be marginally considered beer because of a couple of reasons:
1. It is produced by the oldest privately owned brewery in the US.
2. Its taste hasn’t been watered down by bean counters.
3. The tour given at the brewery is cool.
But it is still a lager. To really be drinking real beer you have to try their Black and Tan.
Namaste.
My friends and I have pledged to form COW house when we are old and alone. It stands for Crazy Old Women and we have also pledged to have too many cats and to make our own wine out of whatever we can find in the hedgerows. We have also agreed to frighten the local children. But not too much.
Dog hair dog hair dog hair!!!!! And dust bunnies. Oh dear God, the dust bunnies!
I need a Grrlz Support Group Co-Op of about 74 people. Preferably strong, able-bodied men. Who don’t have any projects they need my help on. Yea. That would be sweet.
That is such a BRILLIANT idea. I totally need to call some friends and do that!
I love this! And I love Yuengling, thanks for the pang of homesickness I got just now.
Hmmm, I LOVE this idea. And it looks like y’all had fun!
Time to call my grrrlz, methinks. . .
But what do we do with all our preschoolers?
Generally I have a strict “no commenting on people’s blogs who have a triple digit responses,” but I had to surface to bow in awe at bossy’s idea. Two things…I’m impressed that things are organized enough inside your home that your co-op was focusing outside your home. Weeds are just misunderstood plants…except for dandelions, they suck. Now I just have to figure out whether or not I could bear the shame of revealing my attic to my friends.