May 29, 2008
We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Bossy For A Small Tour.
Do you remember back when the Brontosaurus roamed the earth and Bossy announced she was going to become the Cruise Director of her very own blog?
Well, today Bossy would like to offer her readers reader a small tour which will serve to point out a few of the fun activities available right here under your very own nose.
Bossy will begin with this:
This cute little badge is located in the top left-hand column, and Bossy will wait right here while you peek. Every day in this location, Bossy posts a snippet of a photo which—when pressed—reveals a little known fact about Bossy.
Bossy is providing this small tutorial about her Guess and Press feature because when Bossy was in Arizona visiting this particular friend, he reluctantly admitted that he didn’t think the whole Guess and Press thing was remotely interesting because what exactly was so revealing about a distorted abstract photo??!!!??? and when he said it, he attached that exact amount of exclamation points and question marks to his sentence.
Because it turns out Bossy’s close and personal friend him didn’t know to click on the photo for the big reveal.
Next Bossy would like you to stroll a bit farther down the left-hand column in order to turn your attention to the following list:
This list features the Top 5 Bossy posts, which is a lucky thing because it’s called the Top 5 Bossy Posts. Bossy will be changing the posts that appear in this list every few days. Or when she remembers. And keep in mind that remembering is not Bossy’s strong suit because she suffers from a little preexisting memory condition she likes to call Paint Fumes, which render Bossy unable to retain information for more than a minute—and it’s been more than a minute and what was Bossy saying?
Next Bossy would appreciate if you could trek even farther down the recesses of the left-hand column because Bossy needs to talk about her:
She is mean as a snake and steals food and she lives in Bossy’s left-hand column—and if you don’t know the story about how she is related to Bossy, then you can read it here. Other things included in Bossy’s Family Tree archives: abandonment, wanderlust, desolate slums, pigeons, drum sets, and Poison Carbuncles.
Bossy isn’t sure what she is doing with her unfinished Family Tree feature. She kind of thinks it would make a great book. And the truly great thing about this great book is how it would sell to three whole people—all members of Bossy’s family! Hi Cousin Erik!
Speaking of Bossy’s cousin Erik, raise your hand if you would like to hear more about Bossy’s cousin Erik.
And now for a tour of a couple of features that are not yet on Bossy’s bog blog. And while Bossy realizes it’s rather difficult to tour something that doesn’t yet exist, she would like to remind you that you are currently engaged in a walking tour of pixels and aspect ratios and bitmaps. So just who exactly is the crazy one?
The first feature not yet appearing on Bossy’s blog is a photo collage of Bossy’s readers reader. Bossy would especially love to see you as you appear in front of your computer monitor, so for instance if Bossy were to right now take a picture as she appears in front of her computer monitor it would look like this:
Or it could be a simple headshot. Or if you want to remain anonymous you could send Bossy a photo of your computer workstation, or of something else that represents you. In other words, Bossy hasn’t figured out even one detail of this collage idea. So for right now she is just gauging your general enthusiasm to participate.
Bossy does know this: she is going to use these photos you send as her blogroll. And even if you don’t have a blog, Bossy will position your face on this centralized list that will encapsulate her Cast of Characters.
In that same gauging general enthusiasm category, Bossy has one final tour stop of something that does not yet exist: Bossy thought it would be fun to offer a Frequently Asked Questions page. But then Bossy remembered that the only questions she is frequently asked are:
Tour complete!
Bossy is such a hoot.
I would:
a) love to know about cousin Erik
b) be thrilled to send a photo of my workstations
c) be happy to take home the prize for the messiest workstation
d) like to take the day off to work on my list of FAQ questions
Hugs!
I will have to enlist the help of a family member to take my picture because no one does self portraits quite like BOSSY. Even when they’re wacky they’re good.
OMG! A collage! I *heart* collage! It was, like, the only thing I was good at in the one art class I took in college.
I will happily send you a photo of my “OMG I am so bored at work” face. Followed by my “WOO HOO Bossy just updated” face. Followed by my “I should have read BOSSY’s post really slowly, savouring every word instead of zooming through all the funniness” sad face. Or is that too many photos?
*smooches*
PS. I’m pretty sure you must be asked all the time how you got to be so fabulous…
Thanks for the personal tour. But you left out the Obama stuff further down on the left side.
My fav posts are the ones with the headless Barbies doing famous movies. Thanks for all the work.
Eriks a cutie (just like the rest of Bossy’s family!), lets hear more about him!
*Raising hand*
I too would submit a slightly obscured, somewhat anonymous photo for your blogroll because I’m all shameless in my self promotion like that.
The right-hand column is going to get an inferiority complex if it doesn’t get its own tour….
OKAY!
1- I would love to know about cousin Erik
2- I would be thrilled to send a photo of my workstations
xxoo
Thank you for the tour! Is it OK to tip the guide?
I’d love to read about Erik. I’d love to read about anything in order to avoid reading about work.
I’ll happily send a monitor picture. I’ll have to get someone else to take it, though, because I don’t have Bossy’s abnormally long invisible arms. I guess I should tell you that I already graduated from … oh, collAge … just tell me where to send the picture.
Denise wants to know how Bossy took that picture of herself. I don’t think I’m that talented.
Erik wants me.
This has been the best tour I’ve been on in 2008 (of course it’s the only tour but who cares?)
Plus, I sing about ducks over at my blog so I’m a little crazy anyway.
Hallie
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/
Is cousin Erik single?
i’m raising my hand and saying:
how old is cousin erik and is he single?
sorry great getzby, if erik is older i may have to trade you in
I got so excited to see you were taking us on a tour, and then I got a wee-bit disappointed to learn we weren’t actually GOING somewhere.
Sending a pic of me now. You can frame it and put it up next to your TV.
When will the family tree be updated? I started reading then got left out in the cold..shivering, freezing and waiting for more of the story.
This doesn’t mean you’re going to start a coke habit and then leave the blog, are you?
I too would like to know more about cousin Erik. Consider my hand raised.
I will totally send you a photo. Because I’m vain like that.
Oh My Word! Madness is Bossys READER today!! Madness may have just lost her JOB on account of THIS!
Madness Hearts Bossy.. BIG TIME!!!
*raises hand*
OH! Me! ME!!!! OOOOHHHH!!! Mr. Kotter!!!
I want to hear about Cousin Eric. And I’ll be sending you my photo so that I’m with all of the cool kids.
Thank you Julie, very informative tour.
I shall now retire to the Pirates Cove with Doc, Gopher and Schtuping for one of Isaac’s famous “Get da bitch in da sack” cocktails.
Eh, I could do without the whole cousin Erik thing.
I am patiently awaiting the final chapters of the family story.
I will send you a picture of my wonderfulness.
BTW, Just kidding on the Erik and wonderfulness parts.
I’m so pleased to know that I have a work station.
I thought it was just my computer room.
Now I am special.
Just like Bossy.
Can cousin Erik come over and take my picture?
I love to Guess and Press!
I like the college idea that is, as of yet, only an idea. I always love to put photos of myself on the web. Behind a computer screen, that is. I’m in.
And I raised my hand on the Erik part.
I love the collage/blogroll idea, and I’d send a photo, though “self-portrait with computer” might not be the highest quality photo…
PS I love guess and press.
The first thing Madness read on Bossy was her family tree and Madness has been checking back for NEW entries and cant WAIT for more.
Bossy should totally make it a book!
Oh. hell. yes.
Blogroll Collage is an excellent idea .. *dont* forget about this one.. I cant wait to send in my submission.. *giggle* Madness said submission.
I’ve always, always, always – lo these so many years – wanted to be Bossy’s reader. And TODAY is my LUCKY day! Hooray!
Yes, Erik is VERY CUTE, would LOVE to hear more about him
And yes, would LOVE to send a photo of my mug or my work station (which also includes a mug) because Bossy, you ROCK and I WANT TO BE ON YOUR BLOGROLL!!
or something like that.
I think the exact order of the question and exclamation marks was more something like this: ?!??!!??
Bossy I will do whatever you tell me to do. Because you are just that bossy.
I will send you my workstation photo! I just took one last week. Of course I have since lost the (brand new) camera cord connnection, but I’ll find it. Someday!
Tell me about Erik Bossy!
I do Guess and Press before I read the main subject du jour!
I would send a picture of my “workstation” but do you really want a picture of my lap?
And I don’t actually know HOW to send a picture.(Hangs head in lame shame)
I GUESS AND PRESS every single day. Love it! I don’t always comment because you have SO many, but I’m here every day. There is no other BOSSY! I’m not fit to fasten your blog’s sandalstraps……
Lovely tour, but I heard there were refreshments at the end. There was a recipe for a milky cake, but I was expecting like cookies or something. Oh well. I will send you a photo. I would read about Erik. I would like to know what happened to your family, presently dangling somewhere at the edge of your sidebar. I could even make up a question. I am not that hard to get along with, really!
SCOTT!? You are so much of a goof ball I love you! But I need to ask – what were you pressing??
Umm… I thought it was very kind of Bossy to not make a big deal about the fact that the badge at the top left with a little known fact about Bossy says Guess AND Press… (a fave feature of mine!)
P.S. I am getting tingles in my arm…raised still, waiting to hear more about Erik !
I just took my “work”station photo, so I say the idea’s a go.
Also, I would like to hear more about Erik.
So many good ideas! I love all of them! When your done, will you come help me with my blog?
Oh man, with all the bad pictures of me, how am I supposed to pick only one?
But here’s a question I’ve been meaning to ask: When is upstate New York going to get some Bossy Road Trip action?
Bring on the Erik!
FAQs? I got yer FAQs, right HERE!!! I am the most curious (okay, NOSIEST) person on the planet. And I’m sure between me and all your other reader(s), we can come up with a few good’uns. And to be a pickle on Bossy’s Blogroll would be a great honor indeed! I’ll send my photo (actually, my bird’s photo; he’s much cuter) as soon as you say so!
But all that other stuff? The Guess ‘n Press and the Top 5 and the Family Tree? I HAVE PUSHED ALL THOSE BUTTONS AND SEEN ALL THOSE THINGS. Many times even! This is my favorite blog, the one I save for last, like I save the mashed potatoes on my plate for last. BECAUSE IT IS THE ONE I LIKE BEST!
Dude. Maybe instead of cleaning your closets, I bribe you for a date with Cousin Erik? You all are ridiculously beautiful. Just stop it already.
I would love to send my “workstation”. Do I have to be wearing pants???
I LOVE the Guess and Press…I’m trying to wrap my addled brain around how to copy the concept for my blog. And as for Cousin Erik…oh my. If I were only 30 years younger!
I’m sending a pic of me and my iMac. Can I be a sesame seed on your blog roll?
I can’t send you a photo because I haven’t figured out how to PhotoShop out my 11 chins.
Love the photo collage blogroll idea. Bossy is so clever … and Bossy has a nice-looking cousin Erik. Um-hmm.
How DOES one make it onto Bossys BlogRoll?
Yeah yeah I will send you a picture…whatever..um ERIK! I like ERIK! Is he MARRIED?
You had me at Erik.
Oh Bossy – I have the memory problem too – long and short term…apparently my brain was connected to some of my female parts that I had removed. So, please don’t feel bad – I forgot my son’s name, while speaking to him. Now that is a confidence booster. He will never let me forget that ONE thing! I’d buy the book. And love the buttons on your site…they are FUN.
Geez… I’ll bet Erik didn’t know you were going to be pimping him out to all of your reader(s).
Also, as a good geologist, I am compelled to tell you that there were never any Brontosaurus (Brontosauri?) roaming the Earth. The brontosaurus was a mistake made when some foolish paleontologist (from Yale, no less) put a Camarasaurus skull with the body of an Apatosaurus (note: I can say foolish because it wasn’t me, so it’s easier to point and laugh. Like I would know what to do while cataloging dinosaur bones, right?).
Just thought you’d want to know. Or maybe you don’t… you wouldn’t be the first person to tell this geologist to stuff it!
mama can tell you something about Erik…just left his house 20 minutes ago….
He is an adorable WILD man. He does have that badboy thing going, with a set of dimples that will drop you to your knees.
He is wild AND sweet.
And heres what…shhhhhhh….he lives alone and keeps his place tidy. Not insanly tidy..but tidy.
Erik … tell us more about the guy that (to me) has that Sean Pennish look about him.
Photo for your cast of characters forth coming.
And a cricket:
What, seriously,(other than the obvious missing of your husband and kids) did you not like about the excellent road trip or that you would have changed, hindsight?
I would love to hear more about your cousin Erik.
And if Bossy wants a photo, then Bossy gets a photo….Simple, eh?
But does Bossy want a photo with the computer in the picture or can I be lazy and use photo booth on my mac?
You mean it’s Guess AND Press? Well why didn’t you say so?
Um. I’d been reading this blog for about a year before I noticed the readers/reader thing was an actual *link*. I’m so not cool (but not THE So_Not_Cool, obv).
Still waiting patiently for BOSSY to update her family tree…
collage.collage.collage. Say it 3 times fast. it looks weird now. collage.collage.collage.
sorry, paint fumes.
I enjoyed the tour, but forgot sunscreen cuz Bossy really looks like something is reflecting off of her computer screen.
I too would love to know more about Erik and how we can send you pix of our workstation or something else that represents me (I got two really cute kids!!).
Oh and loved the Brontosaurus reference. I use “when I was a kid, the dinosaurs roamed the earth”. Bossy and I must have grown up at the same time!!!! My daughter actually believed me when she was little. Until she learned about them in first grade and she told the teacher I was a kid when they were around. The teacher said no way and she was so embarrassed and came home and chewed me out!!! Maybe if I could show her a picture that you and I were really around then…..maybe……
If I send you a picture of me, can you please photoshop it into the picture of Cousin Bad Boy With Dimples Who Also Cleans, Mr. Wonderful ERIK? Please put me on his lap. I was juuuusst about to tell you how to position me, but then thought better of it.
Yeah, just photoshop me right on in there.
I would:
A) Love to hear more about cousin Erik the cutie-patootie.
B) Seriously consider sending you a photo of either my monitor or my eyes. But not both.
C) Adore you forever if you would take those ICKY NASTY BUGS picture off the post. EWWW
I heart cousin Erik.. hubba hubba…
I’ll have to have hubby take a creative picture of me at the computer.. so I’ll be getting that to you in Ohhhh January…
Yeah, the whole collage thing is good, I don’t know, makes no never mind to me, I mean I’d never get a spot on it. I mean, who wants to read about crazy freako weirdo Audubon Ron who films ducks getting boinked next to a pond thinking it’s a perfectly okay thing to see and a reader with schadenfreude subsequently giving him a butt load about it. Then, with a sense of apologizing to everyone I think saw it as not to create any dissatisfaction in me, which made me look like a dope all the more. I’m like Cousin Wally with a Jack Nicholson on Thorazine attitude everyone in the family will almost admit out loud they’re related to. Who wants to read about that? Other than that, could be a good idea.
I would hate for you to listen to crickets, so, here is a question….
except, it’s not a question, it’s a statement…..
I miss the family tree…you got me all hooked, and you kept us dangling re: what happens when they move WEST….so, I have much enthusiasm to see what happens next.
Hi, This is my first time to your blog and I appreciate your preparation for my arrival be giving me the low down right up front! Thank you.
Cousin Please Cousin Oh yes dreamy dimple cheeked Eric…(Married… or I would have heard of him!)
I would like to SEE more of Cousin Erik.
Bossy Collage = Bossy Brilliance
I am coming out of lurker mode to raise my hand for more Erik.
Love your blog Bossy. Thank you for my daily giggle.
things i would like to know about erik:
a) is he married?
b) does he live near or in san diego?
c) is he married?
also. i am right now applying lip gloss for the workstation photo shoot. but now i realize that my lips will not appear over the monitor, so i’m giving up and again wondering if erik is married.
When I read this today:
http://tomatonation.com/?p=2318
I thought, ruh roh, Bossy’s not gonna likey.
*hangs head in shame* I am guilty of the neglecting of the guess and press whosawhatsit. I am sorry. I will flagellate myself, eat a tray of Better Than Sex brownies and guess and press. But it will be more like press and go all ‘oh, I see’ because I am not that clever.
1. Erik seems like a fun guy. Tell me more.
2. I would buy your book. I read the story and I quite liked it. So now you would sell 4 books. Count ‘em! 4!
3. I like the picture collage idea. But what if I sit at my computer nekkid? Is that acceptable?
Your cousin Erik and I have a dimple in common.
That fact just makes us that much cooler.
How can witchypoo send a picture in the comments section?
Sheesh…I have way too many photos to choose from, since “manager mom” is actually an alias for “gisele bundchen”. Do you want one with my current, Mr. Tom Brady, or my ex, Mr. Leonardo Dicaprio?
i LOVE! the collage idea.
and cousin erik is cute as a button. i’m sure none of us would mind hearing more about him.
Yeah, I’d like to hear more about cousin Erik. As in… is he teh single?
Bossy lost me at Erik, because Erik seems yummy. Would Bossy please direct him to my house? Did I say yummy? I meant delicious.
My most favorite things are your family album updates. I meant to tell you that when I met you, but forget. I love them and the way you tell the story. I really hope you have these pictures in an album with your story handwritten with each picture that you’ve shared with us. It would be an amazing album.
Oh – and I also like the guess and press, though I never spend too much time guessing – I just press right away.
Anyway – I would be happy to send you a pic for your collage/blog roll. That’s fun!
Cousin Erik is kind of hot, and even though I’m happily married, I still like looking at and hearing about hot guys, so let’s definitely read more about him in the future.
I’m so on board for the collage. When do we send that photo?
I would send Bossy a picture. Would Bossy prefer a with or without hair?
I spent a good ten minutes trying to think of something clever to say. But then I saw that LOST was coming on soon and I ran out of time.
Ya, but how many pictures of feet will you get???
jp
Hmmm, what about a collage about cousin Eric? Yeah – now htere is an idea. But I will also send a pic of me when you get your new editon up and running. Thanks for the amazing tour chica!
Wow that Guess and Press was really different than I thought it was going to be. I thought it was a picture of a 70’s disco with neon green lights!
Awesome post. I love the collage idea!
I’d happily submit a photo of my workstation. It just happens to change from day to day as I move my laptop around.
My question would be how did you get so smart. {Which of those lovelies in your family tree did you inherit your smartness from?}
And do you knit any of those scarves you were yourself?
xo ~K
did I just put “were” instead of “wear”??
:::blush:::
**Raising both hands AND feet**
Could the family tree evolve to the part about Erik and how he is single and loves cats/dogs/horses/bunnies.. and wishes he could date a someday-to-be-veterinarian who just happens to have a dimple in her chin the size of Texas too?
Thank you,
Bossy’s Future Cousin-In-Law
i will of course participate in the photo collage of me at my computer. but it will have to be at my kitchen table since there is no room on my desk!
Count me in – on Erik AND the photo!
#1 I would buy the book and I’m not a relative. #2 I will send a photo…but I am having a bit of trouble with my camera and specifically uploading photos, which means, I can’t find the cord and I’m to lazy to look any harder. so, me might be a cute picture of my dog or my kid or…some hot chick I found surfing the web that I wish I looked like.
I’m exhausted by all the walking! I would love to learn more about Cousin Erik and perhaps I’ll scrape together a picture. Perhaps after I get my hair colored next week? It might not be in front of my computer because I do my blogging in a top secret location and it would self-destruct if I disclosed such information!
…(*hand raised*)…
…I love the collage idea altho’ I don’t recommend computer lighting one ones face due to it being to harsh. Can one submit a photo of ones face say near an east window or via candlelight?
…And Bossy obviously underestimates (is that supposed to be one word?) her readers interest in Bossy’s personal life. Need I say that Bossy will be pleasantly surprised once Bossy open’s up the “Frequently Asked Questions” page…lol ;o)
…Oh, and loved the crickets – too cute…
…Blessings…
)
More about Erik please. Like his phone number, marital status and when he can be found showering at the gym.
Are you SURE you want a typical picture of me sitting at my computer? Because usually I’m, well, um, just because.
Can’t talk…eating Pastel Tres Leches.
Cousin Erik…yes. Collage…i’m in.
AG wants to know more about cousin Erik. Especially if he’s single and Jewish…
Wouldn’t it be COOL if really, the family archive little block actually took a random photo from the reader’s hard drive and cropped it here or there and then used IT in it’s place, making the reader think that, hmmm, maybe we’re related!
Love that family tree archives picture. That lady relative makes me smile every time.
Dory just took her picture for Bossy with Bossy (Bossy will see), and she’s not even going to photoshop out her (Dory’s, not Bossy’s) mustache.
I would send you a photo
I would (DO) read everything you write
I would buy your book
I would happily hear more about any family member you choose to write about
I would press, and I might even guess
I would ask you a buttload of questions
and I would raise my hand
BUT
you didn’t say Simon Says
