Oct 15, 2008
Hi, Bossy Had A Boil Removed From Her Butt, And How Are You?
Anyway, it wasn’t really a boil, it was a cyst—and it wasn’t really Bossy’s butt, it was her hip, but still: ow.
Her doctor, whose name is Gross—and with a name like that what do you expect him to do but remove butt boils for cash—told Bossy she could immediately resume all activities except horseback riding, which Bossy translated to mean, “You can resume all activities except sitting in your desk chair working,” because = wouldn’t you?
Thank gah it wasn’t me who had a boil / cyst on her butt / hip… NO HORSEBACK RIDING – You may as well just kill me NOW!
OUCH!
Sounds like a perfect time for some serious bar-stool-sitting.
Yee-ouch!
My dad once questioned why I would take my kids to a pediatrician named Dr Hazard.
Did the doctor prescribe a gin and tonic for the cyst?
If you drink some gin straight from the cat bowl, I bet it wouldn’t hurt so bad.
My parents, bless their hearts, are getting to the age where they have lots of doctors. I kid you not, their doctors names are:
Dermatologist – Dr. Skinner
Urologist – Dr. Waters
Ear, Nost, Throat – Dr. Nechman
Wow! That is such a fancy wall, with that really nice brick walkway and those really pretty trees and…wait. What were we talking about again?
My OB-GYN was Dr. Kradel as in “CRADLE”. Irony is just too funny!
I was so looking forward to the ass pic
Oh, and I had a dentist named Dr. Swallow. No lie.
Tootsie loves BOSSY’s neighborhood. Even the wall at her doctor’s office is quaint.
Sorry ’bout yer booty-ish area.
Asthmagirl had a cyst removed from her thigh three weeks ago. Owww!
And did Dr. Assman tell you the cause of the cyst, perchance? I’d like to avoid such booty boils in the future, if you please.
Last year I had a mole removed from butt and it actually was my butt. When it was all over my doctor told me the scar would be as small as a cigarette burn, which is only awesome because now I can tell people my boyfriend put a cigarette out on my butt. And when I show people my butt (which happens more often than you’d think) that’s exactly what I do.
and the one and only doc in the small village that I once lived in was…..Dr. Butcher
Oh man, I am SO disappointed. I was all ready to START reading Bossy by pressing the “read further” link FIRST and not get stopped mid-read this time. But lo and behold it’s such a short blog today that I didn’t have to read further. Well, tomorrow I’ll forget and you can catch me again. (Now you have readers complaining when there’s not a “read further” doodad. No pleasing everybody.)
And I’m doing very well, thanks for asking! My butt’s doing fine too.
Man, I had one of those cysts removed myself…only it was on my tailbone. It was terrrrrrrible!
Sounds like time to “nudge” Stella off the couch and relax with a good book and some hot cocoa.
Been doing The Bump again lately?
(This was a reference to bad ’70s dances and NOT to anything that could get me blocked from iambossy.com.)
Butt boils should equal AT LEAST 3 days paid leave. If you ask me. Which… most people don’t.
Our Primary Care Physician is Dr. Payne
Apparently, a high percentage of Bossy’s readers have had boils on their butts or thereabouts!
Which reminds me. Had I not been a girl, they were going to name me Lance.
I’m fine, thanks.
I had a dentist called Phil McAvity. I wish.
Get well soon, BOSSY!
In my professional opinion you’re probably looking at a week away from your desk chair – just to be safe that is.
People can say something to get them blocked from BOSSY’s blog? are you serious?
R BOND.
My former dentist that fixed my front teeth with tooth bondo stuff was called
Just make sure you’re up and about by Nov 1st hun. In the meantime enjoy the downtime.
And now for the ultimate wrong name for a physician (and this is not a joke…my friend did work at this guy’s house down at the shore): OB-GYN Richard Holeman…think about it.
By the way Surcie, Lance is a nice name!
My childhood dentist was Dr. Bites but the winner is the Urologist who did my husband’s vasectomy, Dr. Chop. Dr. Dick Chop.
Cysts. They are teh funz.
Not.
My friend’s OB/GYN was Dr. Box. No lie.
I like how my first thought was, “Ew, gross… TMI, Bossy!” while so many others apparently thought, “Me, too!”
On the subject of appropriate doctor names, my friend’s chiropractor is Dr. McCracken.
Oooh cool! I love cysts! I am a nurse at a small family practice and I am the one that the Docs call when it is time to take care of one of those bad boys.
Get well soon!
La la la la la la…What was that you said, Bossy? Something about a wall and Dr. Gross?
I lived next door to a Dr. Lust when I was growing up.
La la la la la….
I would absolutely interpret it that way!
just because an american patriot, war prisoner, and elder american has an opinion about american politics, doesn’t mean his opinions are valid.
Totally the way I would interpret his advise. I had my tubes tied on the 2nd, doc said take it easy for a couple of days…I came back to work on the 13th.
Dr. Saucy recommends wine and a sitz bath. In that order.
I interpret any indication by a medical professional that I am not perfectly well to mean that I should STAY AWAY FROM WORK FOR AS LONG AS I CAN MANAGE. Of course
Ouch! Butt boils is just much more interesting than hip cysts. LOL
Dear BOSSY,
My reader has not been able to find your feed items since October 7th.
So I searched for BOSSY and found another feed and subscribed to that one and it had this post in it. So I unsubscribed to the other feed.
You win at musical feeds.
Congratulations on the butt surgery. All in a day’s work.
What a BUMmer, Bossy. Hope your family is ASSisting you while you recover. Enjoy your R&R (Riesling and Red!)
I once had a mole removed by a Dr. Hacker
I had a mole removed from my butt once by a Dr. Mole. Ok, I lied about his name, but I did have one taken off my butt…when I was like ten years old. It was humiliating!
Now days I’d have no problem dropping trousers and showing everyone the hiney. I lost all sense of modesty when I have birth to children. Funny how that happens.
Sorry about your hip, bossy. I once had an orthodontist named Dr. Crank.
My ob/gyn is…Dr. Bush. It’s hard not to laugh when I recommend her…but that really is her name.
[...] And while it’s true that Bossy is now thrust into an elevated tax bracket by pulling close to $1.67 an hour—a figure only excessive considering the time spent photoshopping pictures of John Cusack’s face onto her husband’s body—Bossy does want to point out that there was no reason to alter her site on behalf of her sponsors since they loved her before the redesign, butt boils and all. [...]
Hilarious! You just made me laugh after the most frustrating morning with a four year old that anyone in the history of the world has ever experienced. Thank you, thank you.
OUCH
iIm so goddamned glad that i lanced my bluish purple booty boil tonight in a spectacular cascade of puss and smut…