Jan 19, 2009
The God Please Forgive Me Diaries. Where God = Mastercard.
Bossy never thought she was particularly vain until Bossy saw a photo of herself taken a few days into January — a photo so bad it made her balls shrink to the size of raisins.
Bossy took one look at this photo and decided she didn’t want anyone to ever see her in such a state, which is why she will now post this photo for the world to see on her public blog, because Bossy gives until it hurts (you.)
The minute Bossy saw this photo of herself and realized she could no longer live with last October’s hair disaster, she knew she was facing an expenditure. An expenditure with a side order of outlay.
Bossy had two choices: she could return to her local salon and the scene of many a hair crime, or she could make an appointment with her Italian boyfriend Antonio in New York City.
When Bossy arrived at the Manhattan salon this past Friday, she was rigged with a million foils containing freshly applied highlights and lowlights, and then she was placed under a dryer.
And it was under this dryer that Bossy was able to practice her usual brand of stealth photography, where stealth equals pretending to take pictures of Antonio’s lap dog Muffin. Or Button. Or Bluftonzzzz:
And all of that stealth stuff was really working too, because a few seconds after Bossy ambushed the photo of her colorist, Antonio marched over to Bossy’s chair and grabbed the camera from her hands so he could take a portrait of Bossy with Muffin. Button. Muftibut:
Of course what Bossy wanted more than anything was to capture a photo of Antonio for her readers reader, but Bossy is still a little afraid of Antonio.
And then, all at once, Antonio walked over and stood only a few feet from Bossy, and she was able to overcome her shyness and capture the artist in all of his glory!
After the highlight and lowlight chemicals were rinsed from Bossy’s hair, she sat down in Antonio’s work station, where he proceeded to remove nine months of hay and replace it with healthy curls. And faster than you can say Would You Believe Bossy Was In That Salon Over Four Hours? she was catching a train toward home with her new and improved look.
P.S.
I think Muftibut is the best name I’ve EVER heard for ANYTHING including all humans that were born from me.
p.s. I haven’t had the courage to embrace my inner curl, because my inner curl resembles most muppets.
Oh, I cannot wait for a full headshot. And, I love the last set where obviously they are DISTRAUGHT over what-to-do to fix that mess that is Bossy’s hay (jk)!!
I think I love Antonio and Fran! So take off the hat already and show us the gorgeous curls!
I once had a stylist names Antonio as well. I loved him too.
Your Antonio rocks the hat he is wearing…however is that a sign of a bad hair day for Antonio?
so where’s your picture?
Wow. My current monthly hair experience does NOT come with a lap dog and I am suddenly feeling very unfulfilled. What exactly am I tipping for, anyway??
And for the record? You did NOT look anything but lovely in the restaurant kitchen photo.
(Sorry about the hat follow-up after four hours of primp. That’s disappointing.)
I want to come with Bossy next time! I have had bad after bad hair experences! Your before picture looks 10 times better then any after picture I have had! I of course trying to save money have either done it myself or went to a beauty school to have it done, yikes!
a four hour salon experience? my a-d-d would definitely kick in by the second hour. i would be pulling my hair out. i wonder what they would do with me then!
Two weeks ago I went to a new salon to get my hair highlighted and colored. I waited 8 months!!! It was way too long. When he finished and showed me the results, I resolved right then to never, never wait that long again. It was a dramatic change for the better. And so worth it.
OMFG! This is exactly what my midlife-crisis ordered. A new Antonio, I mean, hair style.
Antonio is such the cliche stylist from NYC! He’s right out of central casting!
And this little photo journey is absolutely useless without an after photo!!!!
I love how you often put up these posts about your hair and then you never show a picture that we can tell what your hair looks like! You’re such a tease, bossy!
If I weren’t already having a torrid affair with my gay salon boyfriend, who is known in my world as The Hair God, I would be envious of your Italian boyfriend. Sure, he’s talented, but look at the man. Wow!
Bossy before Antonio = muftibut. (I kid because I love!) Please show us the “after” photo!
I can only hope that my curly hair will one day look as good as yours does. I have this fear of cutting it shorter and looking like my mom. Don’t get me wrong–my mom is gorgeous, but . . . she has mom hair. I can’t get away with it because I am neither 60 years old nor a mother.
I like your hair style much better and would emulate it, except I am WAY, WAY too cheap to pay more than twenty bucks for a hair cut. And I get my hair cut approximately twice a year.
So I guess I should maybe give up on trying to emulate Stylish Bossy. Ain’t gonna happen.
I like how you pay a fortune (most likely) to get your hair done by Antonio while cuddling his pooch (thank goodness it’s not a chihuahua like the dog at my psychiatrist). Antonio wears a hat the whole time and when all is said and done, you’re wearing a hat too.
Next time, just put on a foil pyramid. It’s way cheaper and holds heat in better too.
Oh, come ON! We get pictures of Muftibut’s curls but have to settle for your HAT? NNNOOOoooooo … must. see. Bossy’s. do!
Bossy’s New York hairdresser isn’t just great, he’s an Italian god, where god = Antoni-Oh Boy!- friend.
Love,
Your Faithful Reader
who uses Preference by L’oreal and has 12 months worth of hay…and who is now saving for a trip to steal Bossy’s beautiful, talented boyfriend.
I mean a trip to “see” Bossy’s boyfriend, of course.
I like the shot of you with the dog best – those little silver things just seem to bring out the inner you. Maybe you could leave those on a little longer . . .
I’m glad you splurged a little on yourself Bossy. All I need to know is WHERE is the shot of the new & improved Bossy? The pics of the dog & hairstylist are good, but I can’t wait to see the end result of your 4 hours!
Hat hair is all the rage now I hear.
I love me a nice Italian boy even if he’s old enough to be my, uhm, well, I guess he’s old enough to be my older brother.
I have to find a new hair-god(ess)dresser because we moved. I am scared, but the split ends are haunting me in my sleep. It’s time.
I’m fascinated that the perfectly nice photo of Bossy is what instigated this, but as a longtime reader, know that it was time for new Bossylocks. Since she wasn’t buying the concept of a Jean Seberg look.
Is this what Poohie prescribed for Bossy’s blues? Did it help?
You cheater. The new hair suspense, it burns!
(Also: I love! Antonio’s hat. I definitely don’t think it would look great on me, but it does indeed look great! on him.)
(Also: I need a hair cut and color so badly, wherein badly = I might just go get one tomorrow on my “lunch break.”)
No no no no no…you don’t post an ENTIRE POST without the “and here is my FABULOMOUS HAIR” afterpic. Der!
But…sigh…I miss NYC.
Dear Bossy, maybe you need a different colored hat because your hair appears to match the hat in the photo?
Here’s to hoping your faubulous new color isn’t beige.
desperate times call for desperate measures.
there is never any call for bad hair.
therefore, good decision, Bossy!
Bossy, I can’t take anymore of this. You are a hair-tease. You get me all worked up with talks of highlights and lowlights and muffinbutt and Italian men named Antonio AND then you offer me a final photo of you in a HAT.
That’s it. We’re through.
Bossy and muftibutt have the same shade of highlights!
WoW 4 hours? Do they serve a few Martini’s???
All I know is we feel better after we do this to our selves.
I should do it more often but I also have other Poverty
things that get me in trouble.
Hee Hee Ha Ha life gets me every time
eh…where’s the grand finale. you needed to put up salon pictures of the final product.
What a good italian boyfriend Antonio makes. I can hardly stand the wait to see your hair without a hat!
You take a train into NYC for a color and a cut with your Italian (expensive) boyfriend and then you whine about being a million dollars in debt? Comm’on bossy, are you really that vain? Nobody in your hometown could do a cut and color to your liking? Susie Orman would NOT approve.
Time to practice what you preach, girlfriend.
I’m with all the commenters who demand a head shot, and think you are a wicked tease/post milker for not including one.
no matter what the budjet, no one is ever sorry they got exactly what they wanted.
How long was the train ride? And why did you HAVE to wear a beanie? How cold is it?? (Said she sitting in a t-shirt in her kitchen contemplating a swim).
I’m with the rest: SHOW US YOUR HAIR, woman!!
BB
Bossy, you are WAYYYY too hard on yourself and that hair! Can’t wait to see the new “do”, though. Oh, and that pic of me….UGH. Moon face from all the holiday/birthday celebrations. Does Antonio do chin lipo? If so, I’m taking the express train to NYC.
I got my hair done on Friday — color, wash, cut and blowdry. Or, as Jennie wrote in her appointment book, “The Whole Nine Yards.” Today’s Monday and it’s still going strong….
Glad Poohie / Antonio has gotten you through the writing block, even if only for a day … I missed your blog posts!
The anticipation is killing me… Can’t wait to see the new look (and live vicariously through you as you will have good hair and I am not sure I remember what that is anymore).
Bossy has balls? This changes everything.
I just don’t know how you could go for that long! I think I would lose my mind. I would rather lose my mind than show my real roots. But what fun to get to travel into New York to get your hair did. Maybe someday I’ll make an appoitment with Rita Hazan, colorist to the stars! I will make sure though not to do it in the dead of winter!
Because I’m still having a rip-roaring Poverty Party, I went to Jennifer at the Hair Cuttery and then came home and pretended Natural Instincts in Toasted Almond was a professional color job. $24
Wow. Many trains in Bossy’s life. First, the Obama Express. Now a train to NYC. Does Bossy live near tracks and stations? And which side of the tracks?
Boots lurvs the sound that trains make on the rails when they are approaching. They sing.
Where is the hair?!!
Bossy,
You’re all cheekbones and mature beauty, why don’t you reduce one of your issues by cutting your hair OFF. Off, as in adorably short. Short hair is fantastic all you’ve got to do is keep it clean. Now, if I’ve missed a post about how much you hate short hair please disregard my comment.
What? No photos of salon hair? When I get salon hair, I make sure and admire it in every mirror I pass for three days. Even when you sleep in salon hair it still looks fab. As well as after when you wear a hat. C’mon Bossy. SHOW US.
I so envy you. I don’t think we even have Italians in my neck of the woods, let alone Italian hair dressers. And for me to have time to spend four hours in a salon? I think I’d have to be dead, and the stylist would need to be an undertaker or something, trying to make me look better than I ever did while I was alive.
You though, look lovely. Even the before picture looked nice!
If that is the worst pic of you, then I hate you (kind of). I have been dealing with seeing lots of unflattering shots of myself recently after the birth of child #2. If I look like your pic when my kids go to college, I think I’ll feel lucky. Let’s face it, you’re foxy, even when your hair is fried.
You are such a tease. Tsk tsk tsk.
The older I get, I just keep cutting mine shorter and shorter and shorter. I just posted about it, in fact. Soon I’ll be bald.
was Friday hair coloring day or what?
my stylist Katie went with a deep auburn for my frizzy locks, and then Sat night I donned my evening frock and my fur, and went to the awards ceremony.
sort of.
OG
Even though we haven’t seen the new do, one can tell just by looking at him that Antonio is an arteest! Surcie wants her own Manhattan hair savior.
Torture has gone out with the Bush administration, so please relent and post a photo of the new “do!”
okay, i’ve been back to this post four times today. because something was bothering me about it. so i clicked in from blogroll. i typed iambossy.com into the address bar. i clicked onto the post itself. i clicked to go to iambossy home. and i couldn’t figure out what was bothering me.
and then?
BOSSY’s read more link is gone. like gone gone.
also? the guy in the black hat? looks pretty frustrated in that last shot. i think he’s looking for the read more link too.
I only hope that Barack O’Boyfriend will pay the bill. He is, as we all know, the real reason for all his hair-spending.
You’re such a tease. Show us the new ‘do.
Bossy! Tease!
Seriously though, I am envious. Even if you didn’t show a photo of the new highlighted and lowlighted goodness, I know it must be gorgeous. Budget be damned…sometimes you HAVE to do things the right way because otherwise, you’re sitting where I am, saving up enough money to be able to pay for the corrective colouring (highlights and lowlights) to correct what I let my oldest daughter do to my hair in the name of saving some money. Except now, I’m going to end up spending 9-12 times as much as I would have in the first place had I just had my stylist come up to the house and do it the proper way.
I will never learn.
–> Don’t call it a comeback, those curls have been there for years!
I have naturally curly hair too and would get highlights every six months til I realized I was too cheap to go more often and my roots were out of control. In November, I discovered an $8 of hair dye and haven’t looked back since.
http://thaxtonfam.blogspot.com/
I love your little hair travelogues. But you know what, that photo in the kitchen doesn’t even look like you. It was a trick. An evil photographic trick.
Must.See.After.Picture! And next time call me, I’ll buy you a celebratory post-appointment cocktail before you get on the train.
Judging by his photos I would say that Antonio has a flair for the dramatic! I mean, seriously, he looks like one of my former acting teachers.
p.s. He would intimidate me too.
Bossy!! I feel you’re missing a photo or two… right at the end of the post? No?
I can just imagine how Antonio speaks. Does he use his hands alot?
Now, where is the shot of the new hairdo???
peace
#2
Oh thank heavens. For a minute I thought you were letting Old Weird Harold from the Fat Albert cartoons do your hair.
yay bossy! good for you – you overcame your fear!
Martian foils = Worzel Gummidge. Fact.
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/organgrinder/worzel460440.jpg
Who am I to bitch? BOSSY has hair, sigh.
Bet the “after” shot is gracing the cover of Vogue right now.