Jul 24, 2009
Here’s Everything Bossy Learned At The BlogHer Conference. P.S. The Conference Hasn’t Started Yet.
Yesterday Bossy arrived at her local airport nice and early, where arrived equals Bossy was dropped off by her son on his way to work, because some people work for a living while others go to blog conferences in Chicago.
As it turns out Bossy’s plane was delayed and here’s how she knew: her plane wasn’t even there yet. Makes flying to Chicago kind of difficult.
Bossy killed time by analyzing the other people who were scheduled to be on her flight, trying to figure out if they looked like the people she was destined to die with.
And then Bossy walked around the concourse and found a really neat display in front of a bar to lure customers inside. It consisted of a few glasses of wax booze made to look just like the real thing! Just to test the fact that the booze wasn’t real, Bossy poked her finger into one of the glasses.
But before Bossy could take a sip of the wax booze that was actually liquid, the plane was boarding.
Once on the plane, Bossy’s seat mates were very obedient when it came to following along with the crash preparedness film:
But Bossy was too busy eyeing up the airplane’s wing and wondering if she’d be able to balance on it when her plane goes down in the Hudson River. Even if Bossy’s plane doesn’t technically fly over the Hudson River. Technically.
As it happened, Bossy’s liftoff was successful, and within minutes Bossy spied the 19th floor of the high rise apartment building where she spent her childhood:
Bossy was so happy because typically she can never locate things when in the air. Kind of like how she can never see the fetus shape in an ulltrasound.
But then, just as Bossy was admiring her apartment building, it disappeared in a smear of fog — kind of like the actual apartment disappeared from Bossy’s life.
The rest of the flight was uneventful and as the plane approached the runway in Chicago, Bossy played the last of her travel games, which is to try to determine at what height the plane is exactly 19 stories from the ground.
Bossy can’t wait to see what else she learns at her blog conference.
So glad that Bossy made her flight whilst discovering that the wax drinks were indeed, not wax.
Have a blast in Chicago!
Bossy, at least the safety flight info wasn’t conducted by flight attendants in painted on clothes like the Kiwis ad.
Have a grand time and a waxed cocktail for me!!!
Can’t wait to hear all about it! Waxed margaritas, yum.
–>Bossy makes me Laugh Out Loud. The person sitting next to you didn’t look pleased at all that you were taking her picture.
I always wonder if my pilots are drunk too. I mean, who would notice a few airline bottles of booze missing?
http://www.WebSavyMom.com
I wondered if you were off to Chi-town for the big conference!! Have fun and can we please see a picture of you in the paper bag hat at the CheezburgHer party on Saturday night?? Or at least a picture of you with a wax drink.
My favorite travel landing game is to guess at what height I would most likely still survive if the plane crashed while landing. Morbid? Perhaps. But it keeps me entertained.
Hope you are having lots of boozy fun times!
Vuboq, that’s my favorite travel landing game too! lol
Have fun in Chi-town, Bossy. Can’t wait to hear all the stories…
Inquiring Minds: Will you meet up w/Ree? Must have photos so we can live vicariously!
Oh Goody! I am going to be living vicariously through your BlogHer reports
I am so relieved to hear someone else admit to wondering if they “looked like the people she was destined to die with”. I also wonder once I’m seated which ones will trample me heading for the emergency escape and plan my route accordingly. Flying sucks.
How do you manage to take pics of the woman sitting directly next to you on the plane? I think I would get really pissed if some stranger was snapping pics of me…unless it was you, of course. Then I’d be like OMG!! PLEASE POST MY PIC ON YOUR BLOG CUZ I LOVE YOU AND JUNK!!
I was wondering about that photo of person-next-to-you too. Did you sneak the photo from under your arm or just press it to your face like usual? Did you tell her you’ve never flown before so she excused you as being a serious rube?
So you didn’t even get one sip of that Cosmo? Sheesh.
I would really like to observe your capture people unaware photo taking skils.
Have a great time.
So…Blogher ‘08 = SF, Blogher ‘09 = Chicago, Blogher ‘10 = NYC.
What are the chances Blogher ‘11 is in the UK? And will BOSSY come to that one?
I thought I’d be jealous, but after the best time under the sun on Chesapeake Bay with sixteen other bloggers, I lost the ability to be jealous ever again.
My Mom took her first airplane flight very late in life (I think she was about 55?). Anyway. After her first flight, she wondered why she had waited so long, but always made it a point to look her pilots in the eyes before boarding (even if it meant stalking them at the boarding gate).
Bossy is in Chicago?!?!?! Acher would love to meet Bossy, even though Acher doesn’t have a blog of her own and will not be attending Blogher. Acher likes to drink beer, and gin, and vodka, but mostly beer.
Bossy, I’m at the conference, too–well, in the bar anyway. Call me if you there’s a Cusack sighting.
Meg
Hope you’re having a blast. Tell me how many steps it is from you to backpackingdad? Or blackhockeyjesus? Shake their, ummm, hands for me m’kay?
Chicago has 2 seasons. Winter and construction.
I can never see the fetus shape in the ultrasound either.
Bossy has already learned the most important lesson:
Always pretend to look out the window while photographing the lady in the middle seat who actually thinks there is a chance in hell of counting the number of lights which represent aisles on the floor while crawling to the escape door, gasping for breath– but only so far as the oxygen mask allows– to the escape hatch where they will laugh with glee, arms up in the air, as they slide down a blow-up slide directly into the mouth of a shark.
The End.
Bossy should get some sort of award at Blogher because Bossy writes so perfectly about life.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who looks at passengers and wonders if I will die with them! I also look at them and wonder if they’ll be holding a gun to my head while hijacking the plane.
Happy, happy thoughts…. good times!
Being from Chi-town, I met Bossy Thurs. night. Bossy looks like a Barbie doll in person. So hard to believe Bossy has two teens. Bossy is very sweet, effervescent and outgoing. Then, she and Pioneer Woman hung out and talked shop for a while. P Dub was also so funny and down to earth. Can’t wait to read about both of these ladies’ Chicago adventures at Blog Her.
Your writing remindz me very much of David Sedaris. I love him…so I guess that meanz dat…I…love…you?!
i TOTALLY check out the other passengers to see if we look like the ones in any of the made-for-TV movies about plane crashes…like the one where the roof of the plane tears off? yep, that’s me, envisioning my death. i’m glad i’m not alone.
Have a great time. And say hi to “Punditmom” (Joanne Bamberger) for me – she’s also a DC person and we’ve had a lot of online and email correspondence.
Precisely my flying experience, to a T. I like just the right mix of passengers. Too many important-looking people equals I’m nervous that they would make a great People Magazine story and, thus, the plane’s going down.
If I had known you liked wax drinks so much, I would have bought you one. It was so nice meeting you — again, great job on your keynote! And this was hilarious. I now cannot wait for the official blogher recap.
My mother gets that same look on her face as your seatmate when hearing the safety info.
Your photo at BowlHer looks mahhvelous and what I want to hear about is where all those cute guys came from at CheeseburgHer?? Are they Bossy groupies? And how do I get me some like that?
SO, so funny about the wax alcohol : ) and also all of your pictures of your fellow passengers : ). Can’t wait to hear what you learned and who you met!
I grew upon the 19th floor too! Except in NYC. I have also seem my building from an airplane. We are like twin sisters separated at birth. I knew I liked you (in a totally well adjusted non stalkerish way)
you lived in a high rise? are you eloise?
Oh, Bossy, you and I should never fly together – our combined rituals and methods for allaying our own concerns might make the place crash!
It took me 18 hours to get home from our little Blogfest on the Chesapeake Bay. Car rides, two flights, plane delays, Blogger Butt with a side of Passenger Butt . . . and I would do it all again TOMORROW if I could. May your blog conference experience be equal to or better than mine!