Mar 17, 2011

Ever Hear The One About The Blogger Who Auditions For A Reality Show?

Yeah so. This past summer, Bossy attended an open casting call for bloggers who want to be a part of a new reality TV show about — and this is a coincidence — bloggers.

This long-awaited reality show concept seems like a truly inspired idea, if not a bit boring considering that all bloggers do is type.

Still, Bossy trudged through the New York City humidity in order to attend the casting call, where she waited with more waiting wrapped in waiting until it was her turn to sit in front of a video camera where the producer’s questions were hurled at Bossy’s head, which suddenly emptied of all thought.

The punch line to this joke is that Bossy was one of the chosen few who made the latest casting cut, and so the reality show producers asked to see more of Bossy in a video that couldn’t be even one millisecond over three minutes due to the avalanche of other expected video submissions, because as it turns out Bossy isn’t one of the chosen few, but rather one of the chosen many.

Still it would be fun to participate in a reality show about… and here Bossy is sketchy regarding the show’s details. All things considered, though, it would be exciting to be part of a cast of… and here Bossy is also a little light on the details, where light equals completely in the dark.

In whatever case, this is Bossy’s video submission. It may surprise you to learn it was quite difficult for Bossy to find the right words, or any words, to explain herself. It may surprise you to learn it was quite difficult for Bossy to find the right words or any words to explain herself if you have never met Bossy or read Bossy or stood next to Bossy or asked her even the simplest of questions requiring only a yes or no reply or even a nod or shake of the head.

Behold:

permanent link to post

89 comments

1. 1
   on March 17th, 2011 at 11:32 am
   carrie said:

   big fat congratulations being thrown at you!!! loved the video and super loved that you threw the ice skating in there – I was thinking about it and then it was there – ta da! {great minds, etc.}

   Best of luck!


2. 2
   on March 17th, 2011 at 11:34 am
   hokgardner said:

   I so hope you make it, because then I can point at the TV and yell “I’ve met her!”


3. 3
   on March 17th, 2011 at 11:35 am
   Kate said:

   I HATE reality TV, but I would watch a show with you on it, especially if you ice skate. Also, nice rack!


4. 4
   on March 17th, 2011 at 11:39 am
   Sherri said:

   Good luck, Bossy! I don’t comment very often, but I read your blog regularly. I think you would be a great cast member on this unspecified blogger reality thingy.


5. 5
   on March 17th, 2011 at 11:46 am
   Tom said:

   I love it!!! So…. Bossy!!!


6. 6
   on March 17th, 2011 at 11:49 am
   Philly said:

   The entire time I’m watching, I’m thinking to myself that Bossy should throw in her Ice skating video…..and you did!! Great Minds


7. 7
   on March 17th, 2011 at 11:58 am
   April in CT said:

   You’re so funny it hurts (but not in a bad way). Good luck!


8. 8
   on March 17th, 2011 at 11:59 am
   Avitable said:

   I’d watch you do a reality TV show. And you were rocking that tank top! xo


9. 9
   on March 17th, 2011 at 12:03 pm
   Deb said:

   I don’t really know from reality tv, since I only watch Top Chef, Sister Wives, and every Real Housewives show there is, but I would TOTALLY watch a show with Bossy.

   And Bossy’s GIRLS.


10. 10
    on March 17th, 2011 at 12:07 pm
    Lori said:

    How could they NOT pick Bossy? Funny, sweet, nice, stunning, talented and undivorced!
    (Um yeah, spellcheck, I know undivorced is not a word. That’s kinda the whole point, dah!)
    (dah is TOO a word!)


11. 11
    on March 17th, 2011 at 12:10 pm
    Blondie said:

    Love it. You are a HUGE STAR in my book. And your boobs look really good in that tank top.


12. 12
    on March 17th, 2011 at 12:15 pm
    Ann's Rants said:

    Bossy dances as well as she skates! Even Better!! Also, she is widely known for her excellent taste in accessories.


13. 13
    on March 17th, 2011 at 12:19 pm
    Golden said:

    You TV people? I know you’re reading this. Pick her. You won’t it.


14. 14
    on March 17th, 2011 at 12:28 pm
    foolery said:

    At work. Can’t watch the boob video at work, GAHHH. But as soon as The Powers That Be turn their backs, I’m watching the boob video. That is what we’re calling it, right?

    Kidding. No one lives life livelier or funnier than BOSSY. Go BOSSY go.


15. 15
    on March 17th, 2011 at 12:29 pm
    Meg at the Members Lounge said:

    I’ve got my bowl of popcorn and my bottle of wine ready. For your show. For the BOSSY reality bloggy thing that surely the network honchos will see BOSSY is perfect for.


16. 16
    on March 17th, 2011 at 12:32 pm
    km said:

    Bloggy writing traveller, love it ! good luck Bossy


17. 17
    on March 17th, 2011 at 12:34 pm
    Little Miss Sunshine State said:

    I would watch. They could film you coming back to Orlando and we can all go watch Avitable become a stand-up comic!

    If the momcasting thing doesn’t work out, we should get sponsors to do just a BOSSY reality show.


18. 18
    on March 17th, 2011 at 12:45 pm
    WebSavvyMom said:

    –>I would watch. My husband would watch. My small child would watch. I’d make everyone I know watch. Who wouldn’t want to watch BOSSY?


19. 19
    on March 17th, 2011 at 1:05 pm
    Alison of a Gun said:

    I love you! I wish we could be friends.


20. 20
    on March 17th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
    Betsy said:

    I think you are perfect for whatever it is.


21. 21
    on March 17th, 2011 at 1:42 pm
    Ambry said:

    Bossy is so pretty. Can’t wait to have you in my living room[in a slightly less creepy way than that sounds][kinda]!


22. 22
    on March 17th, 2011 at 1:50 pm
    BossysMom said:

    Yes we can.


23. 23
    on March 17th, 2011 at 1:51 pm
    pkzcass said:

    Why Bossy? Because her boobs are very photogenic.


24. 24
    on March 17th, 2011 at 2:05 pm
    kidsmom said:

    Nice push up bra.


25. 25
    on March 17th, 2011 at 2:28 pm
    Debbie in GA said:

    Bossy’s rockin that tank top.


26. 26
    on March 17th, 2011 at 2:45 pm
    Colleen said:

    You are so going to win at the Winter Olympics.


27. 27
    on March 17th, 2011 at 3:00 pm
    Lovelyn said:

    Great video. I hope you make it.


28. 28
    on March 17th, 2011 at 3:20 pm
    Carroll said:

    Holy bovine, Bossy — you’d be a natural for this! I bet you’re a shoo-in. They’d be crazy not to pick you. And hey — Reality TV Folks, listen up! I don’t “do” reality TV either, but a Bossy program? You betcha I’d be on board for every single episode. I also don’t “do” some of the blog promotion/product tie-in things either (and forgive me dear Bossy for not entering your Tempurpedic give-away video thing that time — it just seemed too complicated for my pitiful old techno-abilities). But, you know what? I read every single one of Bossy’s commenters’, comments, printed them all out, talked the whole thing over with my beloved husband…and we went out and bought ourselves our very own Tempurpedic, yes indeed we did. So see you Reality TV Folks? Bossy is one powerfully-convincing blogger, oh yes she is (although how anyone with a brand new Tempurpedic could even *consider* becoming un-divorced if it means not getting custody of the mattress is beyond me!) She would bring a well-educated, articulate, insightful, and wine-loving crowd to the mix. Grab her fast before someone else decides to make her their spokesperson!


29. 29
    on March 17th, 2011 at 3:39 pm
    Lori said:

    Bossy, your video rocked. I am undivorced too! We’re trendsetteers (its very confusing for family and friends…)
    Anyway I think you should have gone to Argentina instead of sending that other far flung correspondant. The reality show: Bossy and other undivorced friends travel to Argentina. Cast me, cast me!!!


30. 30
    on March 17th, 2011 at 3:46 pm
    Dobes said:

    Not really down with the shirt, though I can see how it might help you get on TV and I guess that is the goal. But I think you’re funnier when the camera is pointed at your face.


31. 31
    on March 17th, 2011 at 4:12 pm
    mrs. g. said:

    Reality TV I would watch. Go B.!


32. 32
    on March 17th, 2011 at 4:22 pm
    Pam said:

    Bossy, you’re a natural! And I don’t mean that in the Shakespearian sense of jester. Or do I?

    And travel blogging? I do that! It’s a lot of fun, especially the free stuff. But the not-free stuff sucks (exorbitant hotel wifi charges, I’m looking at you). Good luck with that!


33. 33
    on March 17th, 2011 at 4:35 pm
    KathyB said:

    Not into reality shows, but would give Bossy’s show a go. Been watching too many Brits, affectations attach.

    Love the ice skating, and the Notes from Bossy, as part of the video. My brother got me to sign on to Skype. Heebie Jeebies for me. Bossy will kill on tv.


34. 34
    on March 17th, 2011 at 4:41 pm
    allison in houston said:

    Apparently you rock your shirt so boobalisciously that it triggered the VERBOTEN filters at work–your blog is here with a big scary box over where you imbedded the video. If that doesn’t convince producers of reality TV that you are the one to pick, I don’t know what will!


35. 35
    on March 17th, 2011 at 4:52 pm
    JaneK said:

    okay… so glad other folks said it, too… nice rack…. those girls in and of themselves should get you a spot on TV But not to mention that you are funny and real and the rest of you is pretty, too!


36. 36
    on March 17th, 2011 at 5:35 pm
    AngAK said:

    oh how I loved the ice skating! nice touch. Reality TV gets a bonus if they choose Bossy—they get the funniest/wittiest/bossiest commenters in bloggydom. You all are a hoot! Go Bossy!


37. 37
    on March 17th, 2011 at 5:49 pm
    Franca Bollo said:

    Bossy’s a hoot with hooters! Sorry … I must say I’m relieved to read I’m not the only one who noticed Bossy was rocking a rack in her video. Noteworthy because Bossy, herself, has commented on her “pancakes” (her words or was it “flapjacks”?) in past posts. Hope to see you on the small screen!


38. 38
    on March 17th, 2011 at 6:05 pm
    Nancy said:

    sister mercy (can I use this), what more could we want than MORE BOSSY, oh yeah I like the boob shot tooo. And damn girl you are tooooooo funny


39. 39
    on March 17th, 2011 at 7:53 pm
    foolery said:

    Okay I’m back — I know you missed me — to report that the BOSSY video hit all the right notes: humor, truth, travel, fearlessness, warmth, humor again, and as mentioned, sex appeal. Print up the t-shirts; where do I vote?


40. 40
    on March 17th, 2011 at 8:00 pm
    Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said:

    Good luck Bossy… just don’t go all Kim Kardashian on us, okay?
    
    BB


41. 41
    on March 17th, 2011 at 8:59 pm
    unmitigated me said:

    Bossy, you’ve made me want my very own (Harrison) Ford. I would certainly watch you on a reality show!


42. 42
    on March 17th, 2011 at 10:33 pm
    lesliereid said:

    Nice boobs.
    And lots of luck, of course.
    


43. 43
    on March 17th, 2011 at 10:43 pm
    Cupcake Murphy said:

    You are TOTALLY going to get it!!! I can feel it in my bones. I CANNOT wait to watch. You are meant for the world to see.


44. 44
    on March 17th, 2011 at 10:52 pm
    Galiene said:

    wow. good luck, Bossy! and now you have to tell the make of that bra!


45. 45
    on March 17th, 2011 at 10:56 pm
    Jacqui said:

    Go Bossy Go! Good luck, you’re lovely and funny and I’d watch your show.


46. 46
    on March 17th, 2011 at 11:13 pm
    Susan said:

    Good luck, if that’s how you want to spend your time.


47. 47
    on March 18th, 2011 at 12:08 am
    Lee said:

    Have I told you lately how awesome you are? And by that I mean my favourite blogger EVER! You may remember me from the advice I once offered on deodorant (I hope you found one that works). I’ve never forgotten your sweet reply about how great my email was. I’ve yet to blog (a slow starter, me – plus, it’s kinda crowded in here) but when I do (and I will), you will take top spot on my blog roll. If the reality show doesn’t pan out (they’d be nutz not to choose you) please consider a road trip down under, you’d be welcome here any time.


48. 48
    on March 18th, 2011 at 1:27 am
    Lynn said:

    Interesting choice of clothing, Bossy. I’m thinking that got their attention, if nothing else! I hope they end up choosing you. You are a definite original!!!!


49. 49
    on March 18th, 2011 at 4:27 am
    margalit said:

    You are boobalicious in that beater. I can’t see how they could find anyone sweeter, funnier, and more real than you.


50. 50
    on March 18th, 2011 at 4:48 am
    Elsewhere said:

    Am I the only one to find it a bit sad that you feel you need to wriggle your body and show your boobs to get on a reality show? Now offence, but the ice-skating bit is so much funnier and, I hope, so much more you.
    Hope you’ll get through though!


51. 51
    on March 18th, 2011 at 6:22 am
    Pat (aka Coffeedog) said:

    I hope you are picked!


52. 52
    on March 18th, 2011 at 7:37 am
    Yellaphant said:

    hahah I love it. Good luck. I want to see this happen. I might even have to get cable just to watch it.


53. 53
    on March 18th, 2011 at 7:53 am
    krg said:

    looking great bossy, skating input a good choice, that was one of my favorite bits. if you are on this theoretical show I will watch it, even tho I don’t do reality. come to think of it, I don’t do much reality in real life either.


54. 54
    on March 18th, 2011 at 9:02 am
    Sue said:

    I was thinking the same thing as Elsewhere. Loved the ice skating, though. I still think the video about Dooce is the funniest ever! Good luck to you, Bossy!


55. 55
    on March 18th, 2011 at 10:25 am
    Thatgirlblogs said:

    You totally worked your boobies, you cheater. I didn’t know about the un-divorce. I am so sorry. Un-sorry?


56. 56
    on March 18th, 2011 at 10:52 am
    Liz in Virginia said:

    Love Bossy — love the video. Hate the beater, because it’s an unnecessary cliche. I’m just sayin’.


57. 57
    on March 18th, 2011 at 11:35 am
    Jessie said:

    Great video! They must pick you!!!


58. 58
    on March 18th, 2011 at 1:03 pm
    Lia said:

    OMG, I love you. You are the cutest ever! Your ice skating scene put me over the edge, of peeing my pants, that is.

    Good luck!!!!


59. 59
    on March 18th, 2011 at 1:04 pm
    km said:

    So judgey:) Her body, her choice.
    Listen Bossy, forget the boobs, I’m jealous of your long, skinny arms and flat tummy. The boobs I have myself but the skinny arms I want !!!


60. 60
    on March 18th, 2011 at 2:06 pm
    Gramps said:

    I’ve loved Bossy for a long time but I never noticed—-well, they just never stood out like—–as a guy I can’t say anything about—-but it is hard not to notice the—–any way, I still love Bossy but now I feel a little —no—-I can’t say it.

    Sigh


61. 61
    on March 18th, 2011 at 4:18 pm
    Slightly shocked said:

    Have to agree that the boobs were flagrant. Could be I have way too much weight to lose and just tried on spring dresses (didn’t go so well, can you tell?) But BOSSY is so witty without pushing the girls into view so blatantly that I was a tad dissappointed. Regardless, best of luck and I can’t help but add if the camera truly adds 10 punds – eat a sandwich!


62. 62
    on March 18th, 2011 at 6:40 pm
    JC said:

    I don’t watch much TV besides Dora nowadays, but I would watch a show if Bossy was on it. And don’t worry about the boob comments…if ya got it, flaunt it, sista.


63. 63
    on March 18th, 2011 at 7:12 pm
    Catherine McP said:

    You HAVE to get on this show, You will win, if its a win something type show! Go Bossy who can ROCK a beater!


64. 64
    on March 18th, 2011 at 7:19 pm
    KathleenMary said:

    Did I miss something? Was So judgey:) a commenter? I’m lost as usual.
    Have never seen this side of you–are the boobs new? They, and your sense of humor should gain some attention. Good luck, Bossy!


65. 65
    on March 18th, 2011 at 10:58 pm
    Franca Bollo said:

    Blabbing ‘Bout Blonde Bossy the Blogger’s Boobs in a Beater. That’s your next 10-word Tuesday. An alliterative sentence about Bossy and the ensuing boob brouhaha.

    I had to come back and give you some more support (no pun intended). Poo on the Puritans.


66. 66
    on March 19th, 2011 at 1:26 am
    Pamela said:

    There’s a whole lotta assholery about BOSSY knockahs.
    Mama said knockah them out.


67. 67
    on March 19th, 2011 at 2:59 am
    Dobes said:

    Gotta stay with 50,56, and 61 on the boob tube. It’s certainly not that we’re puritanical, and we’re really not hating on Bossy! It’s just that we’ve got that. Any of us can flaunt the girls, or buy girls to flaunt, and we know the hypnotic effect that will have on the boys. But few of us have Bossy’s wit, irrepressible spirit, or wacky, whimsical world view — and those are things we can’t buy for ourselves – we have to come to Bossy to find them. On the video – at least until the hilarious ice skating segment – the bouncing globes kind of blocked out the sun of the creative mind behind them. That’s all we’re sayin’.


68. 68
    on March 19th, 2011 at 3:03 am
    Dobes said:

    My point being — boobs are the ordinary route to getting attention. But Bossy – Bossy is extraordinary!


69. 69
    on March 19th, 2011 at 3:57 am
    Slightly shocked said:

    I wrote 61 but Dobes in 67 said it so much better. That is what I would have written if I had one iota of Bossy’s wit, spirit or whimsical view of the world.
    I do hope you get the gig.


70. 70
    on March 19th, 2011 at 7:59 am
    kathy said:

    I would totally watch! Nice use of breast enticement.Esp. the lolling around part. I vote YES!!


71. 71
    on March 19th, 2011 at 9:46 am
    Dawn in DC said:

    Bossy has nice boobs.

    I’m just sayin.


72. 72
    on March 19th, 2011 at 10:29 am
    Beth said:

    Bossy is HOTT. If “wit, irrepressible spirit, or a wacky, whimsical world view” ever got women career breaks in TV or the movies, I’d say tone down the boobs. But they rarely do, and boobs help a lot — a little front-loading to get her on TV, then she can whip out the rest of her assets (heh heh). I don’t respect Susan Sarandon any less for having a nice rack on display sometimes. If you’ve got it, flaunt it!


73. 73
    on March 19th, 2011 at 12:30 pm
    Elsewhere said:

    @ Dobes (67): Thanks, that’s exactly what I meant! (50)


74. 74
    on March 19th, 2011 at 1:10 pm
    Sue said:

    Ditto to Dobes!


75. 75
    on March 19th, 2011 at 3:53 pm
    Elsewhere said:

    How about editing the film a bit and for instance include a bit of the headless Ken & Barbie footage? That is truly hilarious, unique and totally Bossy…


76. 76
    on March 19th, 2011 at 9:20 pm
    jk said:

    Best of luck, Bossy. Those TV executives will be fools if they don’t hire you!


77. 77
    on March 19th, 2011 at 11:07 pm
    Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac said:

    Go Bossy Go!!! Rooting for you!


78. 78
    on March 20th, 2011 at 1:10 am
    Carroll said:

    Chortle! Gramps @#60 wins my personal “Best Comment of The Week on Any Blog!” award, hands-down

    Any way you look at you, Bossy, you look great. And yeah, that “camera adds ten pounds” thing? You are *so* camera-ready!


79. 79
    on March 20th, 2011 at 3:44 am
    Professional Critic said:

    LOVED the ice skating bit. If you’re in, I’m watching! Promise you’ll throw over a table at a dinner party? Or at least toss a glass of wine in someone’s face.


80. 80
    on March 20th, 2011 at 1:21 pm
    Todd said:

    Good story. I just found your blog and started following you on twitter.


81. 81
    on March 20th, 2011 at 4:47 pm
    Carol M said:

    Good luck! I’m definitely into watching a show like that, but only if you are in it. You look fabulous and, as always, are too funny. If they don’t pick you, they are asses.


82. 82
    on March 20th, 2011 at 4:52 pm
    Chesapeake Bay Woman said:

    Thank GAH Bossy has finally been discovered. It was only a matter of time.

    If you do get your traveling blog gig going, please come visit me.


83. 83
    on March 21st, 2011 at 3:20 am
    Leaf Probably said:

    Bossy! Wow I hope you get on TV!!


84. 84
    on March 21st, 2011 at 12:07 pm
    Maureen said:

    can’t WAIT to see Bossy on my other screen. You are so perfect for this.


85. 85
    on March 22nd, 2011 at 1:18 am
    alexandra said:

    Hope you get it, because you hve always been so kind to me.


86. 86
    on March 22nd, 2011 at 12:08 pm
    Cindy in Walla Walla said:

    Go Bossy Go! I’d definitely watch.

    @79? Bossy would never, ever, never throw a glass of wine at someone. She might drink a glass of wine and toss the glass.


87. 87
    on March 22nd, 2011 at 7:27 pm
    Gail K. said:

    Bossy. You. Just. Totally. Rock.


88. 88
    on March 23rd, 2011 at 3:48 pm
    kay said:

    I super-want you to win. If you don’t, it just proves to me that rich hotshots don’t know what’s good in life.

    If you do, then I’ll apologize to all of the rich hotshots I know. Which is exactly zero. But I know how they are!!


89. 89
    on March 25th, 2011 at 12:34 pm
    K said:

    Haven’t watched the “boob” video (rarely watch videos online)… but love Bossy and all of her quirkiness, undivorce, giant dog, better than average kids and cool neighborhood.

    I understand the whole, money is cool part of reality tv.

    But, is your life too comfortable and friendships too normal at the moment? Have we seen anyone survive reality tv without totally effing up whatever life they had going in?

    Seriously, I think that this idea is a one-way ticket to a downward spiral of bossy-family-unhapiness.

    Another n0-book tour, lots of blogging, hell even paint some more houses (we need some painting, if you want to live in while you do it!) But, don’t expose your family and friends to an editor’s unfriendly snippets of kind-of-you-but-not-really-what-you’re-like.

    Just saying.