Jan 2, 2013

What Will Happen If You Take Ambien According To Bossy’s Father

For the past few months, Bossy has had a difficult time sleeping through the night — which is a coincidence since Bossy has no such trouble sleeping through the entire day.

So this morning Bossy called her father in the hopes of securing a sleep aid.

bossys-father-cardiologist

Do you know the tale of the cobbler’s children who have no shoes? Well in the case of Bossy’s father, there will never be reason enough for providing his grown daughter with a prescription for a nonbenzodiazepine hypnotic of the imidazopyridine class.

ambien-graphic

And why? Because in the professionally scientific opinion of Bossy’s father:

bossys-father-doctor

So Bossy looked up the many adverse effects of the scary Ambien pill Bossy was hoping to split into thirds and ingest prior to the occasional bedtime. And it seems there is evidence the medication produces odd behavior:

ambien-sleepdriving

ambien-sleepwalking

ambien-sleep-eating

So thank you, Bossy’s dad, for saving Bossy from midnight snacking and peeing incidents and jail. Because that doesn’t sound restful in the least. Father really does know best.

  1. 1
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 5:09 pm
    teri tighe said:

    have you tried melatonin? it’s the healthier version of a sleep aid.

  2. 2
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 5:10 pm
    Kate said:

    Bossy, your dad is right. Many is the time I’ve taken an Ambien on a redeye flight and woken up with no underpants.

  3. 3
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 5:13 pm
    dgm said:

    250 mg. of magnesium before bedtime works wonders, and is an otherwise excellent way to balance hormones, ameliorate night sweats and cut sugar cravings. If you’re into those things.

  4. 4
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 5:22 pm

    1/4 of a Xanax once in a while before bed is dreamy.

  5. 5
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 5:24 pm
    jeanie said:

    My mother is a pharmacist – I had the opposite problem, in I didn’t have to ask for medication for ANYTHING growing up – we used to joke that if we were shaken we would rattle if she had her way – that being said, she would have offered a warm milk and maybe a tryptophan supplement.

  6. 6
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 5:37 pm
    becca said:

    Your dad is right. It made me all out hallucinate tiny people/fairies dancing around in my closet, which I described in great detail to my husband, then I blacked out. After which I apparently tried to go to Walmart for fairy cages. It was awesome, but when I told the doc about it he promptly changed my prescription.

  7. 7
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 5:39 pm
    bren said:

    my best friend would wake up with ravioli cans in her bed and food all over her face with no memories of eating. Needless to say she stopped taking them =)

  8. 8
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 6:37 pm
    Kim W said:

    My neighbor took that stuff too and her husband said one night she got up in the middle of the night, cooked a huge dinner, woke up the whole house , insisted everyone get up and their “damn dinner” and had zero recollection of it. Melatonin on the other hand can be purchased cheaply in the vitamin aisle and works beautifully. Sweet dreams!

  9. 9
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 6:38 pm

    I once took an ambien and then proceeded to make phone calls that I have no memory of. And I apparently subscribed to The Onion on my Kindle.

  10. 10
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 6:41 pm

    You have a father that is very nice to you. Congratulations.

  11. 11
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 7:03 pm
    Little Miss Sunshine State said:

    Can Bossy’s Doctor Dad call my Mom’s doctor and ask him why he has had her on Ambien for 18 YEARS??!

    Her short term memory is now shot to hell.

  12. 12
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 8:07 pm
    patti said:

    Bossy a couple of shots and a beer will fix that sleep problem! When my grandmother was having problems they gave her some Benadryl. I have to take childrens Benadryl because adult dose is too strong cant wake up the next day

  13. 13
    on January 2nd, 2013 at 8:17 pm
    dexter said:

    I have no problem with ambien, I like xanax better though. I dont pee in public as much

  14. 14
    on January 3rd, 2013 at 3:12 am
    Lynn said:

    Has Ambien been around for twenty years?? Seriously? Xanax got me through an 18 hr. non-stop flight once. Wonderful stuff.

  15. 15
    on January 3rd, 2013 at 10:03 am
    GK in MI said:

    Sad story: the husband of a friend was on Ambien and took off in the car at 3 a.m. He was killed in a car accident. Do NOT take this stuff!

  16. 16
    on January 3rd, 2013 at 3:15 pm
    Vanessa said:

    I can personally attest that ambien may also lead to online shopping. Which can at times be good, like when you send flowers to your ill grandfather in the hospital. At times it can be bad – when you decide you need many “As Seen On TV” products and end up having multiple slice-o-matics delivered a few days later.

  17. 17
    on January 3rd, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    I have taken it a few times (thanks Sis!) and I slept like a log. Reluctant to get on the addiction bandwagon though, it does appears to be a monkey on your back. Have you tried CNN or CSPAN at night? Sure to make you pass out!

  18. 18
    on January 3rd, 2013 at 6:34 pm
    zidia said:

    Although it was a great book, I never could read more than 3 pages ot “THE REBEL” by Albert Camus without falling asleep!

  19. 19
    on January 4th, 2013 at 7:18 am
    GrandeMocha said:

    I had a physics textbox that knocked me right out.

  20. 20
    on January 4th, 2013 at 5:54 pm
    jp said:

    I have tried all kinds of stuff, NOTHING works for more than 2.5-3 hours, Currently waiting to see my dr for an elephant tranquilizer, I miss sleep!
    Valium on the other hand works wonders, but just try to get some of that on a regular basis!!!

  21. 21
    on January 5th, 2013 at 12:00 pm
    Jenny said:

    I, too, suffer from insomnia. I found that what helps me finally fall asleep is the clock rolling over from 3:59 a.m. to 4:00. :( In all seriousness, I sometimes just have to stay the ##ck away from TV and computer screens after 9 p.m. Ambien makes me sleep but wake up feeling like I didn’t get any REM time and seriously need a nap.

  22. 22
    on January 6th, 2013 at 6:15 pm
    Ally said:

    Jenny is right about staying away from tv and computer screens when it’s close to bedtime.
    Melatonin didn’t work for me, but Valerian did.
    What always worked was Nyquil, but I suggest ZzzQuil, since it’s painkiller-less.
    The only issue with it is that I think it isn’t great for your thyroid if you overuse it.

  23. 23
    on January 8th, 2013 at 11:59 am
    Marinka said:

    But…wouldn’t that make for good blog fodder?! Come on, Papa Bossy, M.D.!

  24. 24
    on January 8th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
    Momo Fali said:

    Dude. http://www.momofali.com/2009/07/getting-to-know-me-insomia-addition/

  25. 25
    on January 8th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
    Momo Fali said:

    Oh, and this: http://www.momofali.com/category/insomnia/page/3/

  26. 26
    on January 8th, 2013 at 6:46 pm
    Shanna J said:

    Your Dad sort of looks like my Dad…. hmmm

  27. 27
    on January 8th, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    I don’t know what all the food frenzy is with these Ambien users, but I do know my old (crazy) boss woke up and made huge pans of Rice Krispie treats one time when she took her Ambien. No recollection the next morning. Just the kitchen mess and a sticky face.

    Bossy, I would suggest taking a good old Unisom (OTC), a hot bath, and then a visit with the trusty vibrator. That’s sure to put you out.
    Dr. Piper will mail you your invoice now.

  28. 28
    on January 12th, 2013 at 6:40 pm
    bossysMom said:

    I was ridiculing all these ridiculous stories about Ambien, but we haven’t heard from Bossy….
    hmmmmmmmmm

  29. 29
    on January 13th, 2013 at 8:13 pm
    Charlie said:

    I lost a dear friend this year. Ambien-related sleep-eating is thought to have played a role.

  30. 30
    on January 14th, 2013 at 6:19 am
    TerriR said:

    Good luck! I just emailed a friend asking for someone to come over and hit me in the head with a damn shovel. I’ve been up for over 3 hours, eaten two BBQ ribs, and had 2 glasses of wine. I’m pretty sure that my problem is menopause.

  31. 31
    on January 14th, 2013 at 4:40 pm
    bossysMom said:

    I’m very sorry Charlie, I’m sure there are some truths in these accounts.

  32. 32
    on January 15th, 2013 at 12:09 am
    elizabeth said:

    Hi Bossy. My husband takes Ambien occasionally, he cuts the pill at least in half, and has had no problems. If I have to sleep in a hotel I usually borrow one of his pills and need a full pill and I have had no problems either.

  33. 33
    on January 15th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
    Suzanne said:

    I drove to Taco Bell late one night, ordered 10 (TEN)!! tacos and from the looks of my trashcan ate them all. I am a vegetarian. I rememberd nothing of it. I DROVE! Never took another one. Those things are scary.

  34. 34
    on January 15th, 2013 at 4:58 pm
    Jami said:

    I’ve never taken a sleeping pill in my life because falling asleep is NOT a problem I have ever had. However, if I were taking Ambien, I’d take it according to directions.

    I’m currently trying to figure out how to get some speed into my system while still asleep to give me a small boost in the waking up department.

  35. 35
    on January 15th, 2013 at 10:13 pm
    meh said:

    Uh oh, Bossy has pulled a disappearing act. Again. No posts in almost 2 weeks.

  36. 36
    on January 16th, 2013 at 7:19 pm
    Lori in MN said:

    I got Vistaril and it works sometimes…and it’s safe enough for pregnant women (although I have the opposite issue of hot flashes!). Would love to know what MD Dad thinks about it.

  37. 37
    on January 16th, 2013 at 10:58 pm
    Navhelowife said:

    Ambien is a very dangerous medication. The FDA is now making the makers cut the dosage, and is recommending the dosage be lowered for women even more because we apparently metabolize it differently. Even 8 hours later, some people had enough ambien in their systems that their driving was significantly impaired. You take it and Do Not Realize how impaired you really are.
    Really, the old standbys are your best bet. Enough exercise during the day, no caffeine (includes chocolate) past 2pm, no tv or computer screens for at least a few hours before bedtime, and so on. Melatonin is a wonderful way to get past those nights too. But most important? Don’t sleep during the day. Make yourself get up at a reasonable time, and don’t try to go to bed too early.
    And your dad looks like my favorite math teacher in High School.

  38. 38
    on January 19th, 2013 at 12:53 am

    Melatonin is not bad but the main ingredient is grain alcohol and my husband swears it’s whiskey. My good friend and ENT doc made it through Med School by drinking a white russian (milk/vodka) before bed. My neighbor had a bad reaction to Ambien and was caught sleep walking through the neighborhood!

  39. 39
    on January 21st, 2013 at 10:50 pm
    Mrs. Tuna said:

    Well Ambien sleep eating certainly explains the extra 15 pounds I’ve put on.

  40. 40
    on January 22nd, 2013 at 3:18 am
    Lynn said:

    So where ARE YOU, Bossy?????

  41. 41
    on January 22nd, 2013 at 7:13 pm
    meh said:

    Bossy is AWOL.

  42. 42
    on January 23rd, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    I once took an Ambien and woke up on a horse wearing black leather ass-less chaps. Go figure.

  43. 43
    on January 23rd, 2013 at 9:45 pm
    Jay said:

    Never took Ambien, however my recent 12 purchases of vintage LARD were the result of using Nyquil

  44. 44
    on January 23rd, 2013 at 11:04 pm
    meh said:

    Bossy now missing for 21 days.

  45. 45
    on January 24th, 2013 at 3:40 pm

    Haha! Love the pictures! And you know, a little Ambien, especially a third of one, sounds just about right.

  46. 46
    on January 25th, 2013 at 12:37 am
    meh said:

    Bossy now missing for 22 days.

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