Mar 25, 2013
What’s In A Name
A few minutes ago, Bossy was busting her hump trying to remember the name of this guy:
Bossy was in the shower at the time, where they have not yet invented Google. So Bossy was left to her own devices to remember, all alone with her brain. Just like the olden days.
And when the hot water was nearly drained from the water heater, Bossy finally got it! Bossy’s Hippocampus shouted to her limbic lobe, “Matthew! Matthew Modine!”
But it’s not Matthew Modine. It’s Matthew… Matthew…
In times of memory crisis, Bossy’s Father’s solution is to run the entirety of the alphabet until landing on the preliminary sound with the most auditory resonance. “Matthew Buh, Matthew Buh” he might say.
And once situated on the seemingly correct first letter, Bossy’s dad will begin to run through the chain of available permutations, in alphabetical order.
Matthew Bah, Matthew Beh, Matthew Bih, Matthew Boh, Matthew Boh Matthew Boh Matthew Broderick!
Bossy, however, hears things syllabically.
So Bossy’s solution to the Matthew who problem would be more like this, “Matthew Uh-Uh-Uh, Matthew Duh Duh Duh, Matthew Bah Bah Bah… Broderick!”
Bossy’s syllabic method of name recovery reminds Bossy of the time in the 80s she asked a cute boy, standing on a Southern beach, how he chose the name of his band.
The cute boy’s answer wasn’t as lyrical as his songs. “You see,” he began, “I always thought the easiest band names to remember had the syllable layout: The Bah-Bah Bahs. You know, The Rolling Stones, The Beastie Boys.”
And so this cute boy continued with his explanation. Because the cute boys always do. “And I liked the word Groovy. So I was like, “The Groovy Buhs, The Groovy Cuhs… The Groovy Cools!”
And because this historically true story of nonfiction history occurred to Bossy after she was out of the shower, she was able to turn to her roommate for corroborating evidence. Her roommate who goes by the name Internet.
So Bossy searched this Internet for The Groovy Cools, which resulted in a few available images. And one of those images revealed the Kurt Cobain lookalike Bossy was referring to!
To double check Bossy had the right guy, she employed her father’s trick to remember his name: “The Groovy Cools Buh, The Groovy Cools Duh, The Groovy Cools Kah… The Groovy Cools Keith!”
And sure enough, Bossy was able to single him out:
Anyway. Back to Matthew Modine née Broderick. He’s married to Sarah Jessica Parker. The End.
If you liked this post about memory recall, click here for everything you ever wanted to know about Bossy’s Memory. This is a good one, don’t miss!
Or, since we’re on the subject of the 80s, why not read about The time Bossy saw Debbie Harry and she was wearing Peppermint Patty Sandals: