Jan 8, 2008
Bossy’s Excellent Update. The Oy What Has She Done? Edition.
Many thanks to all of you who signed up to be a stop on Bossy’s Excellent Road Trip. Bossy spent the majority of the weekend entering her potential stops on the Excellent Road Trip map—and the following are just a few of the exciting things she learned while typing ridiculous names like Tennessee and Georgia Massachusetts:
- Tennessee has lots of Ns and Ss and Es. In fact Bossy feels a little drunk when she types all the duplicate letters in Tennessee. Of course that’s because Bossy is a little drunk.
- Massachusetts
. Massachusetts starts out fine, with the double S shaping the Mass and all, but then things go terribly wrong. Because clearly the ending should be –settes. With an E. Because that’s the way Bossy always types it and it’s only fair. And it’s more symmetrical. - There is no ‘S’ in Michigan.
- There is no ‘Y’ in Illinois. Ois-vay.
- There is an extraneous C buried right in the center of Connecticut.
- There is no ‘W’ in
ArkansawArkansas.
While combing through your many emails and comments, Bossy managed to stumble upon a few Frequently Asked Road Trip Questions:
- Are you crazy?
- Are you crazy with a side of crazy and a whipped cream topping of Crazy?
- Will you be traveling with your Great Dane?
- Will you be traveling with your
Quarter HorseGreat Dane?
Here are the answers to the Frequently Asked Road Trip Questions:
- Of course Bossy is not crazy! If she were crazy, do you really think she’d be driving back and forth across the country when gas prices are over $3 a gallon in order to stay with perfect strangers? Oh, wait.
- And no, sad to say Bossy will not be traveling with her
140-pound projectiledog.
Lastly Bossy would like to address the concerns of her own mother, who enjoys pointing out that Bossy isn’t very good at geography and in fact doesn’t know her cities from her states or even countries.
That’s just not fair, mom. Because Bossy was only five back then. Things are different now, especially since she’ll be restricting her Road Trip to centralized states, such as Orlando.
Geography? While in a college geography class, the professor asked us to name the fifty states. I raised my hand and said, “New England”. After the class stopped laughing, I said, “What? They have a football team, so they MUST be a state!” Don’t feel bad.
You are nuts. Can’t wait to see the Bossy Road Trip line up. I’m in Central NC – think BBQ and the Woolworth’s sit-in. There is nothing else going on here. But if you’re on I-40 or I-85, swing by.
Let your craziness begin. =)
You are nuts. Can’t wait to see the Bossy Road Trip line up. I’m in Central NC – think BBQ and the Woolworth’s sit-in. There is nothing else going on here. But if you’re on I-40 or I-85, swing by.
Let your craziness begin. =)
for several years, i taught US Geography to exchange students. i was always getting the square states in the middle confused. Colorado? Kansas? Whatever.
Geography? Huh? I still think Lake Erie is south of the city. It just makes sense to me.
And no giant dog? Darn. If you decided to make a stop in my fair city with her, I was hoping to say (as a mother to an Irish Wolfhound) to someone else:
Do you put a saddle on that thing?
Seriously? 140 pounds?
Holy Lots of Pushpins Batman! Can I change my pushpin to purple? No, orange. No, yellow. No, green.
This map is great. I’m now going to hound the sites of those who live nearby. thanks.
“Ois-Vay” that is PRICELESS. If it makes you feel any better I lived in Massafbuwgtrbwg for four years and 5 minutes from the border for almost 20 and I still can’t spell it! Connecticut is my least favorite state, but I like to spell it because it sounds like an arts and crafts supply when you sound it out.
Have a fun trip!
How in the world is Bossy going to visit all her fans?! Maybe Bossy needs to pick a few major stops to have Bossy reunions! Let your fans come to you!
Louise?
My son bought me a GPS for Christmas … I still think you should consider me as a side-kick or DD.
XO,
Thelma
TORONTO
TORONTO
TORONTO
TORONTO
Say it with me
TORONTO
TORONTO
TORONTO
TORONTO
Oh well if you’re going to be saying TORONTO with Asseratgirl, then learn how to chant and spell Mississauga.. we’re right next door.
Now I know the correct spelling of ois-vay. I’ve always wondered. Thanks!
Stella’s only 140 lbs?
Hey Bossy, if you get lost, just start calling people. With the number of pushpins on your map, you won’t be more than five minutes from any of us. I thought New England was a state too, but that’s because I went to a Catholic grade school in the ’60’s, and there were only two locations we needed to know about: Heaven and Hell. I’m still hoping to be one of your stops, but it’s looking grim. It appears that the Great Lakes region has a Bossy fan base bigger than the population of China. Maybe I can wave to you as you speed past. But remember… as far as I can tell, I’m still the only one who’s offered to do your laundry.
My my, it looks like your trip turned into a multi-year excursion. If you ever get kicked out of the house (or just leave to get away from the madness(what madness, sounds like you are the craziest one there)) you could probably survive by traveling between places.
You should really take Ruth with you. She’s an excellent road manager. And she can spell, pretty much, sort of.
You’re not bringing the Dane?!?!? Darn it!
I’m pulling for Northern California. Come visit us!
Oy, will you be busy! Maybe you should invest in a hybrid vehicle before you start?
Gotta getta Garmin!
I love your entries. The way you write is so funny.
But I totally understand where you’re coming from with the spelling of states. I spell almost all of these states wrong when I spell them. Especially silent letters, what they hell are those doing in words?
I thought you were bringing the dog.
Now I *have* changed my mind. Because really, it was the dog I wanted to see.
I’m not looking for your tour bus because I love being an “observer”.. but I want you to know I contributed to your tip jar.
Just the thought of you panhandling in So CA gives me the heebeejeebeez…especially since Stella wont be there to shake people down.
The state of Orlando is not very impressive. Except that I’m here.
May I suggest a tour bus with big fat graphics? THE BOSSY POSSE? Hmmm, too hip-hop-culture-gone-wrong. Maybe THE STRAIGHT BLOG EXPRESS? No, too nerdy. I’ll work on it and report back to you.
Foreign people I have met frequently pronounce Michigan as “Mitch-i-gan” rather than “Mish-i-gan.” I can see where they’re getting this from, but why do they never have the same problem with Chicago?
I’m sorry, but the Great Dane was a condition of you staying with me. Now you can just forget it.
My pushpin is covered by two other pushpins and you can’t even see me unless you enlarge the map to the size of Ha-why-ee. Don’t forget me under all those tacks Bossy! I have wine!
Ok, if you’re seriously coming ALL THE WAY to Seattle, you’d better stop by my house too.
You have so many people on board, you could crowd surf from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
Just be glad you are not traveling with my friend as your navigator–while a full-fledged adult, she for a long time believed that Alaska was right next to Hawaii because that’s the way it appears on a map in an inset.
I used to work with a girl who thought Chicago was a state.
Oh, to be in her head for just 5 minutes – just for the sheer thrill of that much nothingness.
She was really sweet though.
Get yersself a GARMIN NUVI 350 or 360, fer cryin’ out loud……! It won’t matter if you know yer states from yer cities….!!
forget the dane. A westie is the perfect traveling companion and I happen to know.
Best. Road Trip. Ever.
Also? You’ve kind of admitted that going all this way is a bit of a crazy thing to do, so why not just embrace the crazy entirely and take the great dane??
Okay, what can I do to persuade you to bring the dog?
Merkan geography? After reading the comments on the last post (“Pick AG! Pick AG.”) I spent half an hour looking for the state of “AG”. Sigh.
btw, the state of Embra is just to the west of CA and straight on til morning. Come on over, y’all!
I love the fact that your Mother’s canine companion is trying to muscle in. My apartment allows pets. Hint hint.
Hope Bossy doesn’t wind up staying with a serial killer:)
I, too, am in the state of Orlando. We call it, “Living under the nose of the Rat.”
Maybe you could just let us know when you’re here? We could gather around and smile and stare at you while you stare back at us [hear crickets chirping in the background].
We would all be waiting for you to do something bloggy, but you’d be blog-less, and then you’d write about it.
Wow, not a single host in South Dakota? Or Guatemala?
Hawaii?
Because I’d so ditch stateside if I had an offer of Hawaii.
And leaving the dog?
Wow, that looks like one busy road trip!
Too much fun!
bossy’s room is ready for her… will stock up on vodka, cranberry, triple sec and limes…oh, maybe some food… we will even vaccuum up the dog hair (don’t wear black here, it is useless)… ehhehe… i hope we do get to meet you… the core spoke of you this weekend… we all had evil grins…
My kitten might eat yer’ dog. Better to keep her home I would guess.
Bossy!!! You are amazing! I thought you were a cuuuuuuuuuckooooooo, when I read your plans for a road trip like this one!
I thought how would you ever manage to sell this idea to your family when you have five places to visit at opposite ends of the continental U.S.?
I spit my tea whenever that map came up on the screen showing pushpins crowding out other pushpins! You rock girl… and now you better be ready to roll!
Three cheeres for the Bossy babe!
ORLANDO? Did I hear you say ORLANDO?
I know I told you the big giant dog was an iffy idea but I TOTALLY forgot to tell you it was ok to bring the kids!
The other Orlandoians can help us pick a party location. Maybe right under the rat’s nose. Or over there with Shamu.
No way…I’m saying…NO WAY you can have a road trip without stopping and seeing the 4th largest state, the mountains, the streams, the crazy-assed Irish bars, the fishermen, the hounds of my home – Montana!
I’m totally going to e-mail you with details. And pictures of my big dogs so you don’t miss your horse on the trip.
If you choose to visit, one of the seven natural wonders of the world..and my surgery goes well January 18 for ovarian cancer…I live 15 minutes from Niagara Falls…New York..
Otherwise, have fun and enjoy life..you never know when it will be snatched away from you.
My best,
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram
http://grammology.com
You should bus it. Or hitchhike.
well, you are CRAZY for doing this…but I agree with you on how to spell Massacusettes.
Does Bossy not have a job? I want Bossy’s life.
I think Bossy needs a corporate sponsor. A corporate sponsor with deep pockets for Bossy to pilfer. Pioneer Woman seems to have connections with wii. Maybe you can get wii to sponsor you if you let them put a humongus add on your car. Then we can all stand curbside waving our numchucks as you whiz by.
hello bossy– I am a reader and fan. Although I am a bit jealous that you and my boyfriend John Cusack seem to spend so much time together.
anywho– i am in Atlanta. And if you are missing your amazing pooch, feel free to stop by for some doggy lovin. I have one incredible 4 year old St. Bernard, 1 14 year old Coon Dog/ Shepherd, and 1 2 year old “Fraggle”– we are still finding out if his little body (50lbs) is dog or not. Oh yeah, and a cat. My house is a zoo.
I have lived in Massachusetts for (ack!) 30 years now. I still like to spell it Massachusettes because it look like the backup dancers for a 50’s girl group, a la the Ronettes. “And now, ladies and gentleman, I give you: Teddy Kennedy and the Massachusettes!”
But I always spell Mississippi with the voice in my head saying “em-ah-crookit lettah-crookit lettah-ah-crookit lettah-crookit lettah-ah-HOMPback-HOMPback-ah”.
Yes, apparently the voice in my head is that of some woman down the Bayou.
So if you go through St. Louis and head west on I-70, you’ll pass right through Kansas City on your way to Denver. Beer, barbeque, knitting…too much excitement for you?
I have a GPS you can borrow for like, a day. But considering the flatlands is where you’re most likely to get lost this is a generous offer.
If you’re struggling with spelling places with double letters, come to Australia sometime and check out Russell Crowe’s digs in Woolloomooloo. It is a cruel place to send a child to school.