Apr 7, 2008
Bossy’s Excellent Road Trip. Otherwise Known As Starbucks Across America.
Where’s Waldo Bossy? Starbucks again. Except this time she’s in San Diego and she’s sitting inches from her new San Diego husband. Bossy doesn’t know her San Diego husband’s name, but she is going to call him Joe. Bossy wonders if Joe likes Bossy’s new pair of Support Hose knee-highs?
Like Bossy, her new San Diego husband Joe is using an Apple laptop, but he doesn’t seem to curse at his laptop half as much as Bossy. Joe will someday talk to Bossy about her cursing, and he will no doubt tell her it’s rather inappropriate to curse in front of the children like that, because Bossy and her San Diego husband Joe are going to have several children, and they will all be Teacup Yorkies.
When people ask Joe why he fell in love with Bossy, he will point to her purple toes and flick the hair from his slightly pronounced brow.
Bossy’s San Diego husband Joe may not curse at his Apple laptop, but one thing Joe seems to do with as much frequency as Bossy is clutch his back and wince. And when he clutches his back while wincing he also stretches long arms toward the ceiling and moans and what was Bossy saying?
Right—Bossy is in San Diego.
On today’s six-hour drive from Scottsdale to San Diego Bossy loves a man in a white shirt she saw mountains of sand:
And she saw Bossy loves her some man curls mountains of rock:
And she saw Bossy thinks he can probably repurpose his silver wedding band those spinny things:
But the really frightening part was Is it Bossy or is there something about Man Trousers? all of the Border Patrol Checkpoints:
Now please excuse Bossy as she retreats into the Starbucks restroom in order to cut her own hair and change into the little black dress she forgot to own.
A SPECIAL P.S. TO BOSSY’S HUSBAND: just kidding, honey! His name is probably Rob.
I think Bossy must be getting lonely on the road. This makes me think it’s time to send a little Journey back home to Bossy’s husbo:
Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You’re on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sendin’ all my love
Along the wire
You know, cuz bein’ apart ain’t easy on that love affair.
That’s OK honey. I know a mirage when I see one!
Bossy,
Hurry please, Im having a bit of an episode, and I somehow think our meeting tomorrow at the coast will help to minimize the impact of my nervous breakdown.
And, I’ve got your prize from my contest that you won, a STARBUCKS card…so, you can see your husband on the way home, or find another one.
It’s ok that Bossy didn’t bring her forgot to own little black dress because all Bossy needs along the CA coast is a itty bitty bikini.
Bossy is very funny in San Diego!
I did feel pangs of sympathy for Bossy’s home-husband, who is presumably holding down the fort as Bossy traipses across America collecting husbands!
Well Bossy he is a fine specimen and all, but let me just say it’s maybe a good thing you are staying south of the Canadian border because we have some fine Starbucks up here and you’ve got the market cornered on husbands. This new one looks a might intense.
You should perhaps not worry about apologizing to your husband, you may have offended your Great Dane with that Yorkie comment. Thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s handbag pet.
I’ve spent some time out that way. I think Cali gets prettier the further north you go but that’s just me.
Yeah for Starbucks and cute guys.
I wonder if it is too late to get Starbucks to sponsor part of Bossy’s Excellent Road Trip???
Just sayin’
S t e p h e r
It’s kind of a shame that BOSSY is driving around SoCal in a convertible sports car. There’s no way to fit a secret husband into the trunk of one of those things. Don’t ask me why I know that.
Sure he can make a mean Starbucks venti, chai, double mocha, with whip, no foam, skinny spiffy, overpriced crap, but can he…
Ok, so Cowboy Josh has been tossed out of the convertible on some dark, desert highway. [Cool wind in my hair...]
Not that I’m keepin’ track or anything. My last best guess was stuffed in the trunk after being strapped in a bag to the seat in a thing called “Sleeping Bag Friend.” (Or is that just “sleeping” friend?)
Bossy’s missing her family and her non-bloody-stumped eyes. Otherwise she’d see that Joe doesn’t even hold a candle to Josh….or Bossy’s husband.
Poor Bossy’s real husband. I bet he misses Bossy. But I bet Bossy doesn’t miss our near-freezing temps. Ok, ok, it’s been 40 not quite freezing. But the sun! It has gone missing! ACK!
Poor Bossy! How you must miss your man. Accept no substitutions!
I *still!* am marvelling at your big grapes. (And a little freaked out by your big grape toes! My condolences!) Would *I* have the nerve to undertake such an undertaking? Would ANY of us? (Even though I am legendary amongst my friends for my own moderately sized grapes, I still cannot imagine road-tripping the US as a solo driver, no matter HOW pretty the car.)
Bay Area bloggers do not let Bossy drink at Starbucks. At least not when there’s a Peet’s in the vicinity. Why drink Cold Duck when there’s Dom Perignon to be had? Really.
http://www.peets.com
“And when he clutches his back while wincing he also stretches long arms toward the ceiling and moans and what was Bossy saying?”
Exactly how many arms did Joe have?
Glad you made it to San Diego ok, even if it mean you leaving us here in Arizona.
Buckaroo and I have made that drive many times. It’s a long boring drive and I get bored just… Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Down Bossy, down. All that sun is going to your head and you’ve forgotten that what happens in Cali only stays in Cali if you don’t blog about it. Or something like that anyway.
So what if Joe reads I am Bossy. Will that make the relationship a little awkward?
Bossy’s San Diego husband looks like Dexter. Except with longer hair. Oh, and he probably doesn’t get his jollies killing bad guys. Probably.
heh
Aren’t those wind thingies so cool? I miss them. Let me know if they miss me too.
Those windmill thingies are waving a welcome to ya, Bossy!
are these people looking up after they hear the click? Or do you have a real furtive camera? These are the things I need to know.
There is something about a man in a white shirt…. Mmmm….
If I’m not mistaken, that was Zoolander you met.
And wouldn’t it be (kinda) funny if you ended up staying at his family’s house while on your road trip? You would both introduce your husband to each other at the same time.
Wow. He’s cute. Looks like a cross between Dennis Quaid and some male model. Wow.
I’m wondering which way you drove to get to San Diego because those rock mountains and windmills look like they’re awfully close to my house!
I’m so jealous of your husband-collecting adventure. *sigh*
Oh hell to the no. I’ll fight you for him! He’s gorge!
I hope he doesn’t mind a bunch of horny internet women gawking at him.
Is Bossy coming to San Francisco? We have Starbucks on almost every cute corner, and the weather is spectacular this week!
I hope Bossy will not be terribly disappointed by her visit to Michigan where, although we DO have Starbucks, we ALSO have in-home wi-fi. I am tempted not to reveal this, in the interests of continuing the excellent Starbucks updates posts. However, it might be a useful thing to know to save needless mapquesting of nearest-available Starbuckses. Starbucks (like sheep)? What IS the plural of Starbucks?
Welcome to California Bossy!
Love the surreptitious photography. Love the subject of said photography. Am envious of the whole road trip adventure, though not of the lack of sleep. Keep it between the ditches, dear.
can i adopt one of your teacup yorkie children? please??
also, i have no idea why i want to know this, other than the fact that i’m a car slut, but is your smokin’ hot saturn automatic or oh-so-fun standard?
Looks like you entered a time warp 20 years back and found Lorenzo Lamas. On a typewriter. In a Dennys.
Yup, it’s a mirage all right.
I didn’t know one could do that…just call a cute boy Their New Husband.
Thanks, Bossy! I am learning so much!
Can’t wait to hear what I will learn IRL in SF!
Be safe.
I don’t know Bossy-he looks like one of those guys who would dominate the bathroom mirror. I’m torn. But your husband is much cuter.
I think stretching and moaning like that is guy talk for Will You Marry Me? Right?
Sorry, but Joe’s got nothin’ on Mr. Bossy.
This road trip looks like amazing fun. Don’t think Joe would be my kind of guy though. He looks a bit moody… though the stretching sounds interesting.
Like Steve McQueen, All I need is a fast machine.
So Bossy, say hello to Mary Alice’s SISTERS while you are in San Diego…they’ll be the tall blonds with the big smiles.
Rob looks like he’s under 30. Is Bossy a cougar?
I wonder if Bossy introduced herself……saying…”I AM Bossy~maybe you’ve heard of me?”
Angel in KY
My dearest Bossy, are you driving around in the cutest car ever made with the TOP UP?
Hmmm. Man curls, white shirt, scruffy beard, Apple laptop?
If your husband doesn’t let you keep him can I have him?
Joe does look very very cute…Distracting..
Um..Bossy, if you are going from Scottsdale (which I believe is in a state of the union) to San Diego (which is technically still California)…I don’t think you should be going through border patrol.. I’m just sayin…
The last time I went through that border patrol check point I hid my lunch (which had traveled all the way from Colorado, and contained two bananas and an orange)and lied to the nice officer “no, no fruits or vegetables here from other states…no sir.” My deceit still haunts me.
I would imagine Bossy traveled on I-8 which skirts the US/Mexico border leaving plenty of time for Bossy to slip across said border for some cheap poppers of mescale. Otherwise she would have no need to go through a border check point.
Unless Bossy just wanted to show them her SKY convertable.
hmmm..Joe’s OK, but BH is the bomb!!
We have those windmills here in upstate NY…those and some maximum security prisons.
Don’t you have to pay for wi-fi at Starbucks?
Dang, he’s got nice hairs.
I think that forehead may eventually hurt Bossy. Bossy is lucky to have a normal, non- Frankenstein husband (“That’s FRAHNKENSTEEN”)
Can somebody please help me find out where to meet Bossy when she comes through Idaho? I can’t find any information and would really like to meet up with her! Please help
he’s not so pretty as your at-home husband. I think being away for so long makes you thirsty for just about anything.
hey! too bad i didn’t read this yesterday. joe is my very best friend and he lives right next door, and i could’ve invited your san diego husband to join us last night…but alas, i did not, i’ll just have to keep him for me. hmmm…too bad.
Is there a San Francisco meet up and is it invitation only? Would like to stop by and give bossy something from my basement.
Willing to play hooky from work if it is tomorrow……
@Foolery: Lorenzo Lamas, absolutely!
Wait, how did he not see you take his picture? In addition to your support hose, do you also have super powers? You’re good.
I love your new husband!
Those Border Patrol checkpoints are no problem, unless you’re illegal. You’re not are you? Seriously?
(BTW, my husband (my current one, not my new one) is Border Patrol.)
I think San Diego Mr. Bossy looks a little bit like Sylar from Heroes… except not a psychopathic killer.
That was hilariously clever Bossy! It’s quite clear that Bossy is missing her real husband in Pennsylvania.
Wait…is that a mullet???
I think I much prefer Bossy’s mullet-free hubba. That big ole waterfall is too distracting.
Which San Diego Starbucks? I’ll stalk him for you . . .
Ah, the inspection stations – They only check for gypsy moths. A carload of illegals gets right through, but a banana? Forget it!
He looks like Harry Hamlin… circa “Clash of the Titans”. Hmmmm… I’ve now given you the ammo to envision San Diego Husband in a toga.
You’re Welcome.
oooh he looks all caveman-ey. All rough and me-man you-woman but in a civilized way.
I shall call him McSwoon. You may use that of course.