Apr 20, 2008
Bossy’s Excellent Road Trip. Day Twenty-Five.
This is Kansas, and it goes on and on just like this in every direction for nine hours. Bossy broke up the isolated monotony by focusing on the blinding pain in her back, which radiates like an open flame causing Bossy to think she inadvertently activated the seat warmer.
In actuality Route 70 in Kansas isn’t as remote as it seems. For instance there are three gas stations along the 400-mile stretch. And two are still in business.
As the Kansas travel day came to an end, with destinations such as St Louis and Madison and Chicago on the horizon, Bossy waved goodbye to that part of her journey which featured long stretches of unpopulated areas. Which means Bossy will now have to stop steering with her knees.
As a matter of fact, with only seven days remaining for her Excellent Road Trip, Bossy is experiencing a significant sense of loss as she leaves her new West Coast friends two time zones away.
Long stretches like that would inspire me to drive with a six pack of Corona at my side and play chicken with the bovine population.
Please make sure to moo at each of the cows you pass. They expect it, you know, and their feelings are easily hurt if you forget.
Kansas is the reason people thought the earth was flat. Then they got all the way to CA and never went back. I am not a testament to that theory, because I left CA for Texas.
Now Bossy is in the same time zone as Texas…but alas Bossy is not in the same ZIP Code as Grandma J…which is why Texas will forever be known as the Lone Star State.
Bossy needs to open up that moon roof and take in that big sky over Kansas….and take care of that back!!
How many Starbucks along I-70? Thought so. Even I would stop at one.
It’s official. There is a Starbucks everywhere.
That is FLAT!!! Two gas stations you say? With a Starbucks…or was that a holdover napkin from a populated area?
I would be tempted to get of the car and walk into the nothingness of that landscape and feel it! Driving through seems so unappreciative … thank goodness there are still places with nothing!
It’s good to know that no Saturns were harmed in the making of this road trip.
However, Bossy might want to add a p.s. on that napkin about the status of her men.
I’ve driven across Kansas on I-70 many times. ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I remember that drive. I wanted to grab the nearest pitchfork and ram it into my brain.
I swore that I would never, ever in my life make that drive again. I would drive over Kansas, below Kansas, hell, I would make a detour into Mexico to avoid Kansas.
I completely understand your pain.
How did you not fall asleep in Kansas? Really?
Variations in topography are a good thing.
UMMMMM….excuse me, but did Bossy take that picture while she was doing 80mph?
I am SO sad that I had to cancel your reservation on my sofa and that I won’t even be at the meet up! Biggest bummer of the year so far.
Safe travels, Bossy!
…You need to get out of your Saturn and put on your orange slippers, click your heels and repeat, “there’s no place like home”, “there’s no place like home”…lol
…Happy Trails Bossy…
)
Those slippers look cozy! But I am quite glad you didn’t break them out here, as Iggy has a thing for slippers. “Thing” mostly meaning “belief that they exist solely to amuse him; see also: for eating.”
I’m sorry about your back, babe. Maybe for the last week Saturn can spring for a car with built-in back massage? (Your West Coast friends miss you, too.)
Kirsten sees the little yellow blobbie where the red lines connect, right there above “for” in your mappy. And Kirsten gets very homesick. Which scares Kirsten, because Kirsten did not like Kansas when she lived there.
Kirsten is an idiot.
Kirsten also wishes Bossy would make a semi road, semi ferry trip to Alaska.
I’m here to say that Bossy’s rendition of a map of Pennsylvania is spot-on accurate. It looks EXACTLY like that.
I think I see Forrest Gump running over there on the left.
Oh, never mind. It was just the seagull.
And WE are suffering Bossy withdrawals.
Bossy come back! Just use those new-fangled things called AIRplanes next time.
Yikes.
No, you’re not supposed to moo – you’re supposed to beep at them!
You must have been wearing sparkly red shoes and clicked your heels three times.
is that orange leather?
hope you’re enjoying your chocolate martinis in st. louis louis!
Only seven days left? It’s flown by so quickly!
aww, baby, the Midwest farmer’s daughters will really make you feel alright – you’ll forget the rest…
West coast folks miss Bossy…
Here’s hoping that the back issue is just the butt warmer you accidently turned on.
First just wanted to comment that I’ve been on that road in KS, back in like 1987 and I can still remember the maddening “ca-chunk, ca-chunk, ca-chunk” of the seams in the road. And just horizon to horizon open-flatness. Spooky to one who grew up in the Appalachian woods.
Oh, and apparently I’m pretty sleep-deprived myself. I couldn’t figure out why in the world you wrote a note to Satan about cars on a napkin. LOL
It does not look like a good place to play the license plate game.
Look at that beautiful job of printing on a napkin that Bossy did. Bossy does everything beautifully!
Bossy shouldn’t have driven I-70 thro Kansas since it just goes on and on and on w/o stopping–even in the northeast where there are hills and rivers and lakes–and LIFE. I-70 gives the wrong impression of the state. So sorry Bossy had to experience it.
P.S. I do hope Bossy mooed at the cattle as she sped past. They appreciate a few good moos from travelers like her. Cattle get bored with all that flatness too, you know.
Ohhh, Bossy. Come back! Come back! I’ll even share my husband with you if you do.
Only a week left?
If you have the opportunity in St. Louis, stop by Ted Drewes frozen custard. It is d-e-l-i-s-h.
S t e p h e r
Uhm…I don’t know how the “advertising” goes on your site…but apparently you support “Asian women for love or marriage.”
????
I’m sure you have a schedule to stick to, and that Saturn wants its cars back on time, but it’s ok to take a day or so off, soak in a hot tub, take some advil (or another anti-inflammatory) and relax and give your back a break. Really. It’s in the rules somewhere. I read it. Or I wrote it… Same thing.
But seriously, take a day or two off and rest if your back needs it.
By the way, you might want to let Saturn know which cars/seats were harder or easier on your back. Good thing to know
I hope you’re feeling better.
It was most awesome hanging with you and the other St Louis (and surrounding area) girls last night…come back soon!
I hope you appreciated the Earthquake we had for you last night around 12:30..knowing your host I’m sure you were STILL up yapping!
I’ve loved every minute of living vicariously through Bossy, but I simply can’t wait much longer for her joyful homecoming. Bossy has already missed a beautiful spring, and too bad she’ll probably sleep through the rest of it when she gets home.
Be safe Boss!
Last time I drove through Kansas, I passed the time by playing, “First one to spot a tree WINS!” There were no winners that day.
I would be plenty grumpy if I had to drive through Kansas alone!
Make sure you have plenty of coffee.
I-10 across West Texas and New Mexico looks EXACTLY like that. Except there is no livestock to break up the monotony. And it’s not green. Which is why there’s no livestock. On the good side, you can go, like, a jillion miles an hour because there’s no place for cops to hide and set up a speed trap.
Take care of the back! You’ll need it later.
this must be why pioneer women followed their husbands west, had 8 kids or so, went stark raving mad……..and they called it ” prairie fever.”
Your interpretation of Pennsylvania is spot on! Just driving on the highway through Erie is a little wonky for me sometimes (I know, it’s not nearly as bad as say, Pittsburgh, but I try to avoid highway driving, lol).
There’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…
I’ve never done the I-70 thru Kansas drive.
I have many times done the I-80 thru Nebraska drive.
Nebraska has TONS of scenic sights. Cow. Barn. Cow. Cow. Platte River. Barn. Silo. Cow. Barn. Cow. Cow. Platte River. &etc.
The middle of the US is flatly overrated.
wow. you look completely beautiful. i don’t even need to qualify it with “for a woman who’s been on the road for 876thy75 days”. because, you just look damn good, maybe the pain in your back is causing some kind of spinal botox like reaction.
not that you don’t always looks beautiful. but, i’m just saying.
nevermind.
Awww, the West Coast misses BOSSY, too!!
smoochies and happy travels!
I live in Kansas. By choice. It is lovely. I-70 is indeed a tad monotonous at times, but as I tell all the other idio… I mean, nice folks who remark on how boring and horrible it is, there’s a reason they built the road where they did.
Yay Kansas! Good, smart, nice people here! With wit and good coffee and gourmet food! University towns! Wine shops! Rednecks too, but hey–no place is perfect.