Jan 28, 2011
It’s Time For Everybody’s Favorite Game Show: Gwyneth Paltrow Is So Annoying!
Recently Bossy wrote about her new obsession Tracy Anderson, who is the fitness guru to the stars, where stars equal Gwyneth Paltrow. This got Bossy thinking about how annoying Gwyneth Paltrow is. Shall we?
Of course Gwyneth is beautiful — but more than that, Gwyneth has made a career out of sitting in the front row during fashion week, and she understands what kind of clothes look best on her perfectly toned frame, and that mathematical formula is as follows:
Which leads Bossy to the next reason Gwyneth Paltrow is annoying: she built her own light-filled, breezy workout studio on her property in the Hamptons:
And in this workout studio, celebrity fitness guru Tracy Anderson and Gwyneth Paltrow do all kinds of customized exercises, like hanging from custom ropes:
But before Bossy leaves the subject of annoying Gwyneth’s house in the Hamptons, Bossy would like to discuss annoying Gwyneth’s house in the Hamptons. Y’all. So annoying:
Speaking of Gwyneth’s husband Chris Martin, he’s another reason to find Gwyneth annoying:
And while on the subject of bands and the famous singers who front bands, Gwyneth Paltrow learned to sing for her latest role as a country music singer. So now Gwyneth can sing. So annoying.
Gwyneth has other talents too. Like cooking. In this capacity, Gwyneth travels all around the world with Mario Batali sampling exotic regional food. For free:
Oh, and Gwyneth has this very unpopular blog, called Goop. Bossy feels sorry for her.
And arguably one of Gwyneth’s most annoying talents is, unlike certain other tall bloggers who have to enroll in heel camp, Gwyneth can effortlessly walk in high heels:
And there are other reasons to find Gwyneth annoying. Lots.
But easily the most annoying thing about Gwyneth Paltrow is: Bossy kinda likes her.
–>Things I find annoying about her:
I can never spell her name without googling first.
She comments on my blog All.The.Time.
Really, I just (heart) her.
I thought I was the only person that didn’t know how to spell her name, Deb ie: WebsavvyMom…oh…and I would kill for that kitchen…her husbands not bad either…
And to thin we walked into our reception to her husband’s songs. If I only knew how annoying she was, I would have chosen the Beastie Boys Whacha Whacha Whacha Want song, instead. How many people can pull off her black shirt like that. It really makes me sick to my stomache that I had to look at that. Now, where can I find more photos of her really ugly work out one room house? I think I may need one to see how horribly annoying she is. I think I need a peanutbutter cup, right about now. Thanks for sharing. I now find her annoying.
Bossy come visit, I’l share some Hampton’s Oxygen with you! We can do a drive by to The contessa’as also.
Thanks for the laugh
We hates her. Seriously! But remember what a train wreck she was at the Oscars when she won for “Shakespeare in Love?” The embarrassment on her mother’s face! Gah!
I believe the weight gain took place in her hair but it washed out daily (hairspray, y’all!).
Gwyneth, step away from Mario before he swallows you.
Out of all of that amazingness? I want the pink chandelier.
And everything else, too.
The important thing is, we’re not jealous of Gwyneth. Not one little bit.
Well, maybe a teensy bit.
Meh. Nice decor, though, truly. Except for the ultra-shag in the Manhattan living room. I’d lose whole SHOES in that carpet.
…Yeah, she is rather annoying. Pretty, successful, rich. Yep. Annoying. *sigh*
\
…Blessings…
)
Gee, I thought I was the only one who kind of liked Gwyneth Paltrow but then also hated that she seems to earn millions doing things I do all the time for free – blogging, cooking, exercising, wearing high heels.
Ok, so maybe I don’t do ALL those things every day, but I do them often enough that by Gwyneth’s standards I should be a half-millionaire by now.
And not only can she walk in heels, she walks in heels on cobblestone. I demand a witch trial for her.
I don’t know people. Looks to me like she may have taken a tumble on said cobblestones with those heels on. She is not looking at all comfortable to me.
Blythe Danner was always a fav of mine.
I love her mother.
sigh. how true, bossy, how true. You’ve encapsulated so well, my own Gwyneth Schmyneth dilemma.
I don’t know if this helps, but my favorite blogger has a cute, simple little house with a Great Dane and I’m a bit jealous. Come to that, she’s tall and slender, too….and knows how to cook…and, sister mercy, she makes me laugh…and she says sister mercy a lot and I copy that. And I kinda like her, too
I have a hard time with the super high heels. Makes me think of foot binding in the old days in China.
I don’t know. We haven’t seen her on ice skates, so Bossy has her beat there.
Marinka #12 totally read my mind.
I liked her okay until she said that one of the keys to keeping life balanced after kids was to hire a “great assistant”.
Why does she have all these places here, when I read that she didn’t want to raise her children in the USA? Does she leave them in London?
i’m just telling myself “blessings to her, blessings to her..”
yeah, that didn’t work. do you think i could find a great assistant for free?
bossy always reads my mind and says it better than i ever could! so cathartic for me! thanks again, Bossy!
Gwennie TOTALLY reminds me of me. That is… if she lived in Indianapolis, had three kids, drove a minivan and was old. Oh! And DIDN’T have an exercise house.
Just how many homes does a person need?
Especially when said person and her husband appeared on a show televised world wide a few years ago (the name of which Olivia cannot remember but celebrities flew in from all over the world, burning TONS of fuel to tell us that we could change our lightbulbs and save the planet) and then said celebrities buy a zillion homes and Olivia does not think she sees a single twirly fluorescent lightbulb in any of Gwyneth’s chandeliers!
But – I suppose they are are all SOLAR POWERED chandeliers.
No – Olivia’s not buying it. She couldn’t afford it, anyway.
all I have to say is “Beee-atch” and to top it all off she seems like she really is nice so it makes it hard to hate her; oh well……..
and, I had no idea that Bylthe Danner was her mom; I am so out of every loop!
and Bossy, I have never heard of her blog but I check yours out every time it is updated and I bet I’m not alone! I think you’re pretty cool!
Apparently you didn’t see her in Duets with Huey Lewis years ago. Girlfriend’s been a singer a long time. I am sorry you missed that “hit” that played on the radio all the time with him. I think it was called “Crusin”?
I am being totally sarcastic. Don’t google it now, you will hate me.
I could be just like her if I was born thin, had famous parents, could act, sing, and marry a famous rock star.
I’m jealous she gets to travel with Mario. Heck, I’m just jealous she gets to travel!
I was doing fine until I saw the London-crib under construction. One of those 3 houses would do mu just fine.
We share the same birthday. Maybe I’m really Qwyneth’s twin. In an evil, ugly stepsister kind of way.
I guess I can’t spell her name either.
I totally agree with you. It is annoying she’s got it all. But I do like her and oh so like that husband of hers. “Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you.”
Each and every time I find myself loathing her I remember her dear dad and how much she loved him and how the loss of him made her normal in my eyes.
The heels comment made me laugh so hard I blew beer.
I agree with Cupcake, beyond that I have no use for Goopy.
I have a story about her that I should share anonymously but oh well. I actually shouldn’t go into too much detail but just know that she is a mean old thing who cuts down people on the production crews and rolls her eyes like a teenager with her gaggle of evil minions. Bossy can email me if she wants the full ice cream scoop.
Bossy can like her as linlah does not, she’s a bit of Madonna with a supersized bit of nothing.
You said it all. It might be envy, but she makes me grind my teeth down to stubs and nubs.
“Because the whole famous actress career isn’t enough” – totally agree. They’re not only born beautiful but can sing, act, draw, cook, have great hair, sew sweaters for the poor in their spare time… UGH!
Confession: I kinda love Gwyneth even though she’s completely oblivious to the fact that she’s overprivileged.
Really terrible confession: I once bought a pair of shoes because I saw Gwyneth wearing them. They’re black Puma Contre Lace ups. Strangers (especially older gentlemen) compliment them. Little girls stop and whisper to each other when they see them. Not even kidding.
Gwyneth can effortlessly walk in high heels:
You forgot the last part of this sentence. ON COBBLESTONES.
I was so annoyed she co opted Mario Batali for a summer in Spain. Couldn’t he have taken someone like me who eats?
That pink dress at her Oscar win, totally did not fit her! Everyone raving about it and the top was so big and not fitting her! It annoyed me so much! Couldn’t someone take it in a bit?How come you rarely see her with Chris? She gave her children stupid names.Trying to be cool and different? Other than that, I like her. She’s gorgeous and has Steven Spielberg for a God father.She has seriously been blessed! I still love my own life-except for being short and not rich and the inability to walk in stilletos.
Since she has so many houses, can I have the apartment in Manhattan? I can stay in a hotel when she’s in town, it’s cool.
I love looking at photos of her residences because then I can be all, “Where do the kids play?” and feel very judgey and smug as I look around at my own disorganized, toy-strewn home.
You know Apple and… what’s the other one’s name? Raisin Bran? Anyway, their memoirs are gonna be AWESOME!
The couch in her Manhattan living room…is that a SWING? I think I see chains holding it up. I want a swinging couch…
Some girls have all the luck. And beauty. And money. And gold statues. And Blythe Danner as a mom. Still, have to admit I’ve always kinda liked her too.
I didn’t realize I couldn’t spell Gwyneth (?) until I started reading the comments. So the question is,…is she so likeable it’s annoying, or so annoying she’s likeable? I’d be sooo fit if I had that workout room too, and an awesome cook if I only had that hampton’s kitchen with all the veggies on the counter, cause Gwynnie’s obviously not stocking up on Ice Cream like at the runnergirl ghetto compound over here. There’s only 2 women in Hollywood I really like and respect; Gwyneth (?) and Jennifer Garner. They’re real people with all the Hollywood gadgets, homes and money, but are truly down to earth. Take a hint, Kardashians!!!!
By the way Bossy, If you ever do a Barbie Theater re-enactment of Kardashian pseudo drama, you can use actual photo’s, no one won’t be able to tell they aren’t your barbies!!!!
Umm I so want to hear the truth about what a beyotch she is…Chrissy please email me too!
Other than that…ya I’m bitter.
I used to like her – I’m kinda over her now – she has way outdone my kitchen renovation and plus I’m jealous I could not do the black cabinets because I can’t keep up with the dusting they would require! BEEOtch!
Ah, see, I find GP very, very annoying and don’t even like her a little bit, so I was with you until right the very end.
Gah. I loathe her.
The kitchen … you’re right. it could be a studio apartment with just that kitchen and I’d be totally psyched.
It was the travel series in Spain with Mario that tipped the scales for me on Gwyneth, I thought that was an uber cool thing to do (plus, she’s fluent in Spanish, of COURSE). She dated Brad Pitt and married Chris Martin, both are sexy. And then she learned to sing. Plus all the stuff Bossy mentioned. A workout studio? Damn it. Wish I could hate her, but truth is, I want to be her.
She has great parents with good values and the apple didn’t fall…..
Also she just has a “sweet” heart.
I was annoyed before. Now I’m Goopily annoyed.
Really annoying indeed. I love those high heels, but I’m not sure I could walk wearing them. So, I envy her. I also envy her for the fact that even if she had to gain weight it doesn’t show. A witch trial would be perfect.
I love Bossy almost as much as I hate to love Gwyneth. Which is a lot, I assure you.
Did you notice the brick road Gwyneth was walking on in those heels? And she’s all, “Tra la la.” Where as I would look like a cat being tangled above a pool of water. She was rubbing our faces in her high-heel walking talent and that’s just mean.
I’ll bet if Gwyneth knew you and me, we would totally be her BFFs. Because we are not at all impressed with her, and so we would keep it real, something all fabulously beautiful, talented, stylishly-housed actresses crave desperately.
I have dibs on the sofa on chains when we meet at her Manhattan living room! But there’s room for two if you want to swing on there with me whilst we ask Gwyneth what it’s like kissing Robert Downey Jr.