Mar 27, 2006

Dear Bossy

Can you tell me what to sow on a hill that won’t hold grass or grass-like plantlife?

– Fra
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Dear Fra,

Who uses the word ’sow’ anymore? Holy Toledo, you must be a hundred and six.
But I’m with you – gardening on a hillside is a slippery slope. My advice: forget grass! Even if you could get it to grow you’d be one of those ridiculous people pushing a mower up and down a steep incline. That can be a lot of ass crack. And forget the usual leggy groundcovers like Pachysandra and Periwinkle – they’re too fragile for serious water runoff. My advice: Blue Rug Juniper plants, which form a dense low-pile carpet in a fashionable blue/green. In addition to looking like something you purchased at Crate and Barrel, this plant helps control soil erosion and weeds. The only prerequisite for this problem solver is full sun. If your slope is shady I suggest the following direction: concrete.

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3 comments

1. 1
   on March 27th, 2006 at 12:23 pm
   Frustrated gardener said:

   OK, so what if you have a hill that has grass THRIVING on it and you don’t want it there, for the exact reason you pointed out….either me or my husband end up putting our lives on the line every time we try to mow, not only on the steep incline, but on a heavily traveled street. We want an easy and cheap solution.


2. 2
   on March 27th, 2006 at 8:18 pm
   fra said:

   Did I write sow? I meant …so?


3. 3
   on March 29th, 2006 at 8:43 am
   Cheez Wiz said:

   I’m a skateboarder. How can I turn my concrete ramp into a non-stick kitchen utensil?