Nov 20, 2006
ADVICE OF THE DAY – Check your chocolate supply before getting stuck in Manhattan traffic.
On Saturday Bossy went on a bus trip to New York City with her friend Amy. Bossy’s friend Amy was the chaperone of the trip and therefore Bossy got her ticket for free.
Bossy and her friend Amy were so excited to go on a bus trip to New York because they knew it would be a day brimming with ethnic diversity.
The bus dropped the group off at Bergdorf Goodman’s department store. Bergdorf Goodman’s always makes Bossy feel as though she’s got long black hairs sprouting from her face warts even though Bossy thinks Bergdorf’s has a lot of nerve charging $3,000 for a bed sheet pilfered from Goodwill:
Also? Bergdorf’s bathrooms are almost as swanky as the facilities down at the Martha Stewart Show.
Next stop was H&M clothing store – which is nearly as classy as Bergdorf’s and features hosiery products such as these:
Bossy’s friend Amy was very very very confused with this new product and so offered to try them on.
The whole toe sock incident was so disturbing that Bossy and her friend Amy decided to go straight to lunch. Which was delicious, even though that bathroom featured a mirror that Bossy’s friend Amy positioned on her Top Ten Worst Mirrors Eh-ver list:
Next Bossy and her friend Amy took to the streets. First Bossy’s friend Amy spied this interesting collection of evidence boxes:
And then Bossy’s friend Amy noticed this interesting trunk outside of a fancy hotel:
But Bossy didn’t care about all of that sidewalk intrigue because Bossy was too busy dreaming about the world’s best cream puffs and calculating the number of blocks until she could fall face first into one.
So Bossy and her friend Amy walked up 50th street and snuck inside that very famous 5th Avenue religious destination in order to light a few shrine candles and pray for cream puffs world peace.
And here’s that very famous 5th Avenue religious destination from the outside:
Next stop was Rockefeller Center where tourists take the most interesting photos.
Bossy and her friend Amy decided they wanted to go ice-skating at Rockefeller Center and so they asked the nice Rockefeller Center boy how long the line would take.
Because Bossy and her friend Amy forgot their Little Orphan Annie Decoder Rings they couldn’t figure out what new math the nice Rockefeller Center boy was employing to estimate the line length – so they ditched the idea of skating in favor of a sneak-peak photo shoot of Rockefeller Center’s Kwanzchristmukkah tree.
Next Bossy and her friend Amy walked 300 blocks up Broadway in order to secure creampuffs for the bus ride home. “Two more blocks. Three tops,” Bossy told her friend Amy whose feet were now bloody stumps as a result of her super cute cowboy boots. But it wasn’t two more blocks. Or three – it was six, and Bossy and her friend Amy just couldn’t do it because they would miss the Whitey Express back to Suburbville.
And so they settled for a bottle of wine purchased at a cute hole-in-the-wall liquor store. But not before sampling gi-normous shots of vodka in order to keep the little plastic sample cups for their eventual wine. “And now we need chocolate,” announced Bossy’s friend Amy, heading for a newsstand where she purchased two dark chocolate candy bars.
And then Bossy and her friend Amy climbed back on the bus, which promptly made a left onto 8th Avenue and got stuck in hellacious Saturday night traffic. Bossy and her friend Amy exchanged smug glances because they knew their secret wine and chocolate stash perfectly prepared them for hellacious traffic. So Bossy twisted off the cap and poured their wine into their used plastic vodka cups. And then Bossy’s friend Amy reached for the chocolate and slowly pulled back the foil wrapping and discovered:
Who needs a drink?
hahahha, i love the boxes. And poor both of you, with rancid chocolate and no cream puffs. Hope the wine was good.
Dear Philly bumpkins:
For chocolate, you either go to Maison du Chocolat of the Upper East Side (excellent hot chocolate, by the way) or the new Scharffen Berger store on the Upper West Side. My fave is Max Brenner Chocolate by the Bald Man, on Union Square. The churning vats of chocolate, cocoa powders in a trifecta of shades, and towers of nougat can only be likened to the magical world of Willy Wonka. Max Brenner opened this year to ecstatic crowds of sugar-hungry passerby, with friendly servers doling out free samples of caramelized pecans coated in nougat and cocoa powder, and tables in the cafeteria-sized dining room quickly filling up. The first American branch of Israeli pastry chef Max Brenner (with other locations in Israel, Singapore, Australia, and the Philippines), is part of Brenner’s mission to create a new chocolate culture. He showcases an impressive repetoire of sweet treats, from meltiing marshmallow crepes and warm chocolate soup to danish with butter and melted chocolate cream and an endless stream of creme fraiche, fresh strawberries, nutty pralines.
Just hope that Adorable chick never shows up. I’ve read enough of her neo-Fascist railings. (I’m with you, Ellen).
Toe socks aren’t a new thing. I buy them at the dollar store because they are not worth more than a dollar at any store. They have two kinds, ones that cover your toes and ones that leave your toes out. They are super comfortable, and Annie wonders why Bossy would find them confusing, although those are very ugly and are not real toe socks.
poor Bossy..you have my travel luck..no good stuff(choclate or creampuffs) and bloody stumps for feet when your done.and what was with those toe socks..they were soo ugly..and all strappy..looked more like bondage underwear for a preforming monkey..only the little hat was missing..*rolls eyes* at least you got home safe.and you didnt get mugged.or flashed..hmm..mabey Bossy’s Travel luck ain’t so bad.