Aug 21, 2007
Bossy’s New England College Tour— Day Two Through One Thousand.
Where were we? Harvard University, blah blah blah. That night Bossy and her son went into Boston to feed their Thai food habit walk around.
After breaking the bank a light supper, Bossy took some photos of the local color:
The following morning Bossy and her teenage son awoke at a more reasonable hour:
The next college on their agenda was Tufts University. Located in Medford Massachusetts, Tufts is highly regarded for its liberal arts, sciences, and engineering programs which uniquely emphasize an international dimension. This is Tufts:
Just kidding — of course Bossy has a photograph that better captures the Tufts’ campus:
After the internet burrito joint Tufts, Bossy and her son scooted to Boston’s harbor:
The reason they went to Boston Harbor was because they wanted to dump some tea eat again. They chose a character-filled restaurant featuring Softshell Crabs and settled into a table near the window. Bossy was
a pig in shit:
Until Bossy got the check. Then she was A Pig. In Shit.
The next morning Bossy and her son climbed in the car after their complimentary boiled cheese breakfast:
Next stop Amherst College. Located in the middle of Massachusetts, Amherst is known for its inspired tight-knit faculty, spirited political awareness, and diverse student population. This is Grandma’s House Amherst’s Admissions Office:
In addition Amherst is known for being the first college to replace their student loan policy with scholarships — which makes it the most generous need-blind financial aid available. Meaning Amherst may not be as well endowed as Harvard, but it’s not the size that matters — it’s
what you do with it:
Bossy didn’t have much time to explore Amherst but she did manage to snap this award-winning campus photo:
Next stop: Williams College which is located in Williamstown Massachusetts. It’s very much like its rival Amherst, minus the spirited political awareness and diverse student population. And minus the happy people. This is Williams:
One thing about Williams College you may not know: its cooperative grocery store features Breast Confections.
The next morning Bossy and her son checked out of the hotel early in order to drive four hours to their next college:
Bossy and her son checked-out early give or take the fact that Bossy left her cell phone in the hotel room and therefore had to turn around twenty minutes into their trip and then begin anew even though Bossy’s son argues they were at least 40 minutes into the trip but really what does he know, Mr. Advanced Placement Classes:
With Bossy’s cell phone safely tucked in her old diaper bag chic purse, they drove across the border into that very famous New England state: New York. Bossy had been warned about strange weather conditions resulting from the surrounding Lake Effect but it turns out she had nothing to fear.
Lucky as ever, Bossy looked to her trusty copilot for navigational help:
And in no time at all the fog began to dissipate:
Final destination: Cornell University. Cornell is located in Ithaca New York and is known for its wide-ranging course of studies, student diversity, and dedicated professors. Cornell is enormous. It’s not just enormous, it’s enormous tucked inside gigantic wrapped in behemoth. This is Cornell:
Bossy couldn’t even find a fooking Parking Space Lucky for Bossy the day her son toured Cornell was also the day the Freshman Class moved into their dorms. Bossy spied one very herdy nerdy type:
Although the four seasons of Ithaca are often described as Rain, Slush, Snow, and Drizzle, the town was friendly and the campus beautiful:
After gale-force winds a quiet night on the town, Bossy and her son watched a million episodes of Entourage retired early. Bossy and her son murdered the alarm clock slept relatively late since all that remained was their drive back to Boringville home:
As they rode into the sunset a twelve-mile backup, Bossy and her son waved goodbye to New England and those states like New York and New Jersey which are not remotely considered New England Are You Happy Now?
PS to Bossy’s curious readers reader: Bossy’s son already visited a handful of colleges last spring.
You can read Bossy’s totally in-depth comparison of schools here or you can read all about Bossy’s East Coast College Tour here or read the Special Wardrobe Malfunction Edition here or you can peruse the following photos Bossy’s son took back in April while on his solo trips to visit Brown University and Northwestern:
1. 
2. 
HAHAHAHAH!
“Bossy sat in this corner wondering why all the pictures were crooked.”
Snort.
Williams must have been memorable.
PS Thanks for the links, my bad, how could I have not known about you last spring?
I have to tell you, I was looking forward to the final installment of the looky at college trips. Being from the midwest I don’t think that I knew those colleges exsisted. NCAA tourament always brings out the schools where I look at my husband and say, “where the fuck is that”..to which he shurgs and says New England…
…FYI, I’m not stupid..I knew most of those colleges exsisted…NOW..but when I was in college myself, they were never an option…well not just because I wasn’t brilliant like Bossy’s son..but also because I’d never move that far from mom and dad..OK…
More Dashboard Photos!
I haven’t grown tired yet – surely he needs to tour other colleges.
My tour of colleges was done through pamphlets. Needless to say, I wasn’t as “advanced” and Ivy League schools wouldn’t have chosen me – I’m a backwoods southerner, don’tcha know.
Bossy is such a nice mother, driving her child all over creation.
Makes me look forward to the faraway day when my son goes to college. Except I’d make him drive and I’m sure I wouldn’t take such great pictures. No one wants to see my nostrils.
I have rather enjoyed this college tour. X and I are already planning hers in two years. We’re going to visit University of Wisconsin-Madison and then we are going to visit University of Wisconsin-Madison, after that, we’ll hit University of Wisconsin-Madison.
bossy is not getting enough coffee. (and she’s getting up too d@mned early.)
It was with the “Special Wardrobe Malfunction Edition” post in which I first discovered Bossy. And her penchant for mud-colored gauchos, which immediately sent me running to my own closet to make sure my own pair were still hanging safely where I’d left them. Sniff. Good times.
Bossy must have raised a super-smart kid to be touring these colleges. Go Bossy! Go Bossy’s Super-smart Kid!
Holy CRAP the dedication! So… did Bossy’s kid PICK ONE ALREADY?
To the tune of Cornell’s alma mater:
“High above Cayuga’s waters,
there’s an awful smell.
Some say it’s Cayuga’s waters,
others say Cornell.”
So tell us, it’s big…but does it stink?
Good times, good times. Too bad you didn’t visit any food carts in Ithaca while you were there – one of my friends that went to Cornell said that is where you get the best food…
Also? I am very impressed that your excellent nostril hygiene persisted throughout the trip, as evidenced by the photo of you and your bar tab… nice tip, too.
What an adventure! Thank the heavens for Tufts or we may have had to wait longer for the details! Looks like a nice place to me. Amherst too!
On a serious note, is that really the dining hall at Cornell? Amazing! I want to go there now.
Yes, now I’m happy.
Well, off to go look up my nose in the mirror.
I can’t wait to hear which college Bossy’s son decides on.
And I am slightly embarrassed to admit my OCD kicked in and I noticed you added the tab wrong … musta been the sticker shock *wink*
My alma mater is UMass-Amherst. Amherst is a great town. Also, my aunt calls those cookies Peanut Butter Nipples. I always felt naughty eating them.
You could always send him to MY university, where I could keep an eye on him for you, but with the caliber of places you’re looking at I suspect Bossy’s son can go wherever he damn well pleases.
Seriously, you’re going to put The Princeton Review out of business.
Good luck to your son. Hopefully he’ll at least be near a state school so he can learn how to drink properly.
You could also send him to MY university (where I work), but I think I would be frightened to be entrusted with the safety of a Famous Blogger’s Offspring. It *is* a Public Ivy, though, or so it tells me.
Did he like one?
No pizza at The Nines in Collegetown? Oh, those Cornell memories. Nope, I didn’t go there. I worked at the sports camps there every summer. And the hot truck? The BEST late night food. Not that I would know, of course, b/c I was a RESPONSIBLE camp counselor. *snicker*
Good Grief your schedule makes me tired. Amherst has three indie bookstores, and that makes it a good town in my book. My sister was educated at Tufts, and that makes me feel ambivalent, except that I know they nickel and dimed her for everything and that the graduation ceremony was hot, boring, and incomprehensible.
I hope I’m a super cool mom like you in about 13 years.
(My son is in preschool.)
wow. some trip. Had I known you were in Boston, I would have, I don’t know, cracked a beer or something. For future reference, if your son goes to Tufts, Medford is REALLY pronounced “Mefuh.” Or, if you want people to understand you, “Medfid.”
You ARE super cool.
Unfortunately, I predict at least a doubling of bossy posts in the not too distant future as the Bossy household membership is depleted by one, otherwise known as empty nest syndrome – boo hoo
Best wishes
Bossy’s son should go some place where the people are happy. Happy is the most important thing of all.
You are such a good mom. I would do that, too, for free breakfasts and Entourage reruns. Jeremy Piven? I have a crush.
im sorry. it was all over for me after the dog humping. you are a very sick woman.
I just love your sassy-ness!
Good luck to your son with his choice of college. I personally love Boston, and had a friend who attended Cornell-great school.
So when’s the West Coast tour? Stanford, Berkeley, Fresno State…
I found your site via TKO and think you’re hilarious! Can’t wait to do some more reading and catch up!
Ironic.
Just a couple weeks ago, while having dinner with friends in Milton, the conversation turned to the colleges their oldest kid was about to visit. Looks like they might have been following you around.
Williams is often overlooked, but I think it’s the best school on the planet. And, no, I did not go there.
Once upon a time, I lived right around the corner from Tufts. Great school, crappy town. Although most of it is in Meffah, locals consider it a Somerville college. Davis Square is nice… if you don’t mind drunk illegals, drug dealing and prostitutes.
Harvard is, well, Harvard. Herself went there. Twice. And interviewed locals for several years. The admissions policy still baffles her.
Brown is a fine place, especially for aspiring writers and editors. Many of the smartest people I know went to Brown.
Herself’s brother went to Cornell. One of those buildings looks suspiciously like his old frat.
Amherst is a nice school. Too bad it shares a town with zoomass, the state university.
Looks like your kid picked most of the best schools in New England. Well, except Cornell which shares that little town with Ithaca College. But it’s gorgeous!
You’re a great mom to take him to see all those schools!
chewing gum can make one fart. er, gassy.
bossy should know.
Loved the college tours! Looking forward to hearing which was picked.
i have a lot more respect/pity for my parents when they took me on a very similar college tour lo, these many years ago. bossy is a very nice mom
does bossy’s son have a favorite? i was enchanted with amherst back when i did my college tour…
I’m a Harvard grad, and it’s VERY expensive to be part of the elite. VERY. But Boston is a fabulous place to go to school, especially since 1/3 of the population are students. Or so it seems. There are so many major colleges; MIT, Harvard, BU, BC, Tufts, Emerson, Brandeis, Simmons, Emanual…. the list goes on and on, that socially it’s just unlike anywhere else.
Since I live in Boston, my kids want to go to school here too. Over my dead body. I want them someplace else. But Amherst is one school I’d love my son to attend, although he’s looking more at Oberlin or Grinnel. He wants a small school.
Did you see Dartmouth and Brown or is your son not interested. Penn is our “family” school and it’s in a very sketchy neighborhood, but kids get a great education there.
If your son likes Harvard and wants to study CS, let me know. A friend of mine is a full Prof in that dept. He’s a great guy, too.
Bossy, I’m so jealous. There were never any pictures of delusional doggie sex on my campus. Plus, I can’t wait to have the same bonding-through-college-touring experience that you and your son are sharing. In fact, I wish my three kiddos could each share in that experience with me today … and then get the hell out of my house.
Having attended a lowly “state” school I would be remiss in not touting its number one strong point: Bosom cookies GALORE!
I lie. I totally want your son to come to University of Texas. It has NOTHING to do with his swoony, underage good looks. I SWEAR.
Bossy, I think you guys are doing this all wrong. After being raised in New Jersey and attending college in Rochester, NY I have some serious suggestions – HAVE HIM GO TO SCHOOL SOMEPLACE WARM!!!! UC Santa Barbara has surfing all year and a really great science program. U of Hawaii would also be really nice, as several schools in Florida or even Georgia, not to mention some good Texas schools. Even UNLV here in Las Vegas would be warmer than freekin’ New England.
Now, wouldn’t you rather drive around Maui than New Jersey?
I love it! I can’t wait to hear what he chooses. I love those Bosom Cookies. I am renaming them now when I make them. Can’t wait to bring them to work. I got accepted to Cornell, but didn’t go. Stupid me!
biddy gets lisdexia wehn she’s tirde too
If you ever do a tour of Midwestern Colleges, Bossy and Bossy’s son can crash at our house! Pretty Please!
I love the Bossy tirade! Your summarized insights are fabulous. Keep it going! May a former New Englander warn you – be careful of Massholes! Your most recent escapades served as fodder for my blog entry today: http://newsomi.blogspot.com/2007/08/bossy.html. Enjoy!
You’re a fabulous mom for driving your son all over the place!
um, you calculated the tip incorrectly on your lunch bill
ah, so that’s where you’ve been. Man, are you going to miss him when he goes… and that ain’t a question..! Just make sure he finds a room that doesn’t come with beer goggles.
This college tour has been hillarious!!! LOVE the pictures!
I hope he picked Tufts since I wasn’t able to afford it and ended up at Douglas in my home state NJ. And yes, it was an all girl campus which makes me suspect my father might have had a big say in what was affordable… hmmm
Enjoyed The Barking Crab did you? Never thought you could spend so much to eat on a red-checkered tablecloth, though, huh?
Your college tour sounds much like mine back in the day…have you all considerered the Haverford, Swarthmore, U Penn trifecta? A MUCH easier drive/train ride back to the NYC region for Thanksgiving, dontcha know, and right up in the same league as the New England schools. Just sayin’.
I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that in one of your Massachusetts pictures you passed by my most favorite Target store in the universe.
That’s amazing! This adventure in its entirety has had me rolling. You did a good job, Momma. That’s a bright boy you’ve raised!
And I’m guessing with an education like this, he’s going to be making the big bucks one day. He could buy you a convertible to make up for all the mileage you put on that Honda while college shopping.
Hey, looks like your perfect-SAT son and you had a fun time in my neck of the woods! I’m a Harvard gal myself, and I second what Margalit said. It’s really a fantastic place to be a student.
You are a good tipper, even if you can’t add.
Now where do I get me some of those Bosom Cookies?
My son just graduated from Cornell- had an awesome 4 years there. The campus IS beautiful, and because the Univ. has 6 colleges, if your son wants to change majors/depts, there are so many choices there. Weather- not so wonderful, but worth living thru it!
Tufts is nice – my sis went there. My Cornell friends are its biggest cheerleaders. They can’t get enough of the place (and it is pretty incredible).
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20228437/site/newsweek/
Did you see this article, Momma Bossy? A few of the schools your son looked at are in this article…
Secretly pleased at your deadpan dismissal of Williams, which cranks out very self-satisfied grads (hope that’s not the one he’s in love with; if so apologies). No hippie schools, though, says this Oberlin alum?
TOTALLY late to the party here, but how could you skip Hampshire College?
And I think I am in love with you. I want to be you when I grow up.
This made me homesick.
Amherst and Williams, yet no Wesleyan? Sad, just sad. All the real hippies go to Wesleyan.