Dec 7, 2007
All Hands On Deck For Straw Poll Friday.
Remember Bossy’s sexy math teacher, Eljo Kuslasik? Well. Through the miracle of dysfunctional fixation Google, Bossy’s husband located his email address.
So readers reader, Bossy is looking for your guidance:
Should Bossy email Eljo Kuslasik and send him a link to her teacher post? In Bossy’s husband’s opinion, any teacher would be thrilled to learn he was so beloved and remembered by his students. Also Bossy’s husband is trying to dump Bossy on the first retired person who will have her.
If Bossy should not email Eljo Kuslasik, why?
But if so, what should Bossy do about the following problems:
- Bossy called Eljo Kuslasik’s wife mousy.
- Bossy now remembers that Eljo Kuslasik drove an Oldsmobile Cutlass and not a Gran Torino.
Bossy awaits your informed opinions.
WELL. Since I am the first to comment, my opinion is the only one that counts, right? HA!
I have “balls what are made of steel” (which loosely translates to “I ritually make an idiot of myself”) and so I advocate emailing him. I mean, seriously. You’re married, he’s married (even if she is mousey) what’s the worst that could happen? Wife Swap?
Edit your post. Then do it! Do! It! Do! It! Do! It!
I’d be too scared, but you are BOSSY!
Hell yeah I’d e-mail him … he’ll see the car correction on this post =)
Do it! Stalking is so flattering!
Email the poor man.
PS I wouldn’t edit a thing, but I’m sure you wouldn’t anyway =)
I’m going with two assumptions…
1) Most people google themselves from time to time.
2) Most girls have had at least one crush on at least one teacher at some point.
I think you should e-mail him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he found it sooner or later whether you e-mail him or not, unless you didn’t use his real name. And he may even know you had a crush on him back then.
For the sake of blog entertainment, email him. If you want to preserve your dignity and have no restraining orders on your record, throw that address away!
Do it! If anything your readers will get a kick out of his response. I am sure he would be flattered to hear from you.
as an experienced stalker heh, i say go for it! i think Eljo Kuslasik would get a good laugh from the boss lady. and so what if you called her mousy? bossy only speaks the truth!
When a girl is in the state of a crush, she would call Pamela Anderson Lee mousy.
Email him!
OMG, Bossy, you gotta do it! Please please please! I shall be waiting with bated breath for the ensuing hilarity!!!!
p.s. dammit. The blog police pulled me over for excessive use of exclamation points. I’m sitting here on the shoulder of the Intarweb waiting for him to write out my ticket.
Don’t give it a second thought! Email Eljo Kuslasik. He will probably be thrilled and might even thank you.
After all these years he might be wondering what ever happen to BOSSY! The car thing…I’m sure it will bring back fond memories, the mousy wife? For all you know she might be long gone.
I can’t wait to see the on-line interview between you and Eljo Kuslasik. Maybe, if he agrees (like John Cusack did), you can do a YouTube with him….and Stella.
I agree with Biddy. She could have been drop-dead gorgeous, and you would have looked through those green eyes and seen butt-ugly. Anyway, if she has any personality at all, she’ll get a great kick out of knowing her hubby was such hot stuff.
I agree,email him. Why is Bossys husband trying to give her away to a retired person? IM semi retired, I can take you part time.
Email him, anything to keep you away from my husband Johnny (did you hear that on Actor’s Studio? He’s called JOHNNY) Cusack.
And don’t edit Elmo Kutstothequick’s post. If you do, you’re not Bossy. You’re Wussy.
Sorry, going against the grain here. Leave the poor guy alone. The past is past, keep your memories, you don’t want to see a potential old fat bald guy. Even worse, he may still be hot.
Do it.
But, tell us what happens – please.
Does Bossy realize that she is advertising for Thai women on her blog?
I know that BOssy isn’t selling them herself, of course, but ewww.
I once called someone mousy, and after my husband had a few beers, he told her I had actually called her a “mole”. What? I think I like Bossy’s husband more than mine. Mine would NEVER look up the e-mail of a former crush…AND, he can’t even keep his rodents straight.
If you do email him, don’t attach the JPEG of the boiled rabbit.
You might as well e-mail him. If he has a Google Alert on his name, he’s probably already read the post anyway.
Actually the only “iffy” part of BOSSY’S blog entry was:
Bossy wanted Eljo Kuslasik to denominate her numerator.
Will he find that as funny as I did? Maybe!
I’m infallible. You know this.
And I say email him.
I commented and got lost somewhere, so I’ll try again:
Bossy, you CAN’T email him. That’s what your loyal readers are for. See, we email him and tell him you kinda like him. Then he emails us and tells us he thinks you’re kinda cute. Then we all go into the internet Ladies Room and have a long discussion. Then we email him and tell him you might be at the game tonight. Then he emails us and tells us he might be at the game too, by the concession stand. Then we all go into the internet Ladies Room and have a long discussion. THEN… it’s time to decide what you’ll wear.
Email him..he was hot for you too..I just no it. He divorced the mousy wife cause he was pining for Bossy…so he doesn’t care about that..and the car thing?? You corrected it already.!.
As your one and only READER (thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!), I think you should send Eljo a link to THIS post, not the other one. Let him figure it all out. He may forgive you for calling his wife mousy when he learns your husband is practically giving you away. That’s illegal in some states, right?
Mrs. Mousy Joels would probably get a kick out of knowing her husband was the object of your affection. Mousy, despite the image we all seem to harbour, really only means timid. I say go for it.
i say go for it, but purely because i’m selfish and want to see his response
The first thing I did when I finished reading your post yesterday was look up “Eljo Kuslasik” on Google and found NOTHING. I’d love to know more about him…
I wouldn’t do it, but, go for it!!
YES, You must. It would make his year!
Also, When do we EVER get to learn if you EVER got any Dooce love?
Inquiring minds & Bossy stalkers want to know!
I want you to do it just for my reading pleasure.
Doin’ some math here but I’m guessing he’s in his mid-50s by now? I’d be flattered. Unless he’s like Sean Connery and eternally hot, in which case he’ll be all like, “hey Mousy, got another one…”
Again, doing the math:
John Cusak + Dooce + Eljo Kuslasik = Bossy is A++ Stalker.
Hello? You can put a Google alert on your name? I must know the hows of this. Oh, yeah… Bossy. Do it and soon! I can’t stand the suspense. And could you have your dear husband look up some old highschool crushes for me. I could send him a list.
oh, you know you wanna do it.
retired teacher’s salary?
sweet.
I double dog dare ya to do it.
Complimentary reminder: Eljo Kuslasik is the teacher’s name Scrambled. Think: word jumble. So he can’t Google Reader Alert Search Thingie McWhatever and find the post on his own. This complimentary reminder has been brought to you by (burp.)
I think he would be flattered and probably get a big kick out of it. You could edit the mousy part if you wanted but I am sure he would realize that you were 15 at the time and wanted him so of course the wife was the enemy.
Go for it…how fun!
go for it. email him.
I say screw it and do it. Leave the mistakes and mousy in. Bossy has big balls.
The total stranger says: go, email, link…make his day (I think).
Julie
Using My Words
http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com
If you’re truly conflicted about this you’ll need to send the usedta-mousy wife a little gift — in the form of your most unflattering post about yourself. For a peace offering. Perhaps the post in which you describe your sleep attire and pancake boobs t-shirt?
Not that I don’t think you’re fabulous, of course, in a completely unstalkerish blogger girl-crush sorta way, ’cause as long as that doesn’t creep you out, then, I do, maybe. Am I digging too deep a hole for myself here?
I say go for it. It’s not like yer gonna see him, right?
I can totally see where the car differences would pose a major hurdle to your emailing him. So, yeah. I guess not, then.
I would email him. I think he would be proud of his prized pupil.
Oh, cool car. Was it a low rider? That would be hawt!
No brainer….email him reminding him that you, being a gifted and talented writer, took some liberties with the facts. Any writer knows that the facts get in the way of a good story and all.
Facts are merely suggestions.
Cute story and great blog.
Maybe you can do an interview with him here for all to see!
do it on Springer!
No! Not just no, but emphatically no! You should keep the memories untarnished and not set yourself up for disappointment. Also, it might come off as stalkerish! Then again, maybe just e-mail him to say hi but not link to the post? Nope, still gotta go with my first instinct on this one! Don’t do it!
DO IT!! Hopefully, he doesn’t still have the car.
If Mr. bossy won’t have a fit-maybe
If it wouldn’t lead anyone of you to cheat or think about it-ok
bottom line-way too risky. I vote no.
I am a guy and I struggle.
On the other hand men love the ego boost-He could probably handle it.
How’s that for wishy washy?
When you meet him by the concession stand at the game, don’t forget to tuck a handerchief up your sleeve. It is cold out and you don’t want him to see you with a runny nose…
I don’t know Bossy-pants. Some memories are best left in the past. I’m the scared weinie-type, so I say fly.
Dear God, make Bossy a bird. So she could fly far. Far far away from here.
I’m of the “devil may care” variety. Send away and let the chips fall where they may.
Any response will no doubt be highly thrilling to Bossy. And her readers. . .
SA
This calls for an in-person-with-video-camera-crew visit(and maybe even Joey Greco along to counsel you if any emotions implode.)
His name is Jokes Sullaki?
Complimentary reminder: Eljo Kuslasik is the teacher’s name Scrambled. Think: word jumble
Well, then, he ought to be able to handle Bossy.
Hmmm -this one is tough, but I have to say on this one? I would NOT email him.
But that is just my 2 cents.
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
I’d go for it if i were you. I’d just edit out the child molestation beginning if I were you. lol
I would not do it. I once called my ex husband to make peace and wish well. I still have nightmares. And this junior high stuff.
Sometimes it’s better to just wonder….
First, whack husband upside the head for not just emailing it himself and leaving you with a fait accompli. Then do it.
As for him finding it by googling, if he’s still teaching it’s far more likely that his students will find it first. Surely he needs to be warned? Gee, what a good excuse for contacting him…
Email him! Tell him that you just included the mousy part for laughs! Laughs!
Well, I’m on tenterhooks to find out if you get in touch or not. Clearly the straw poll is IN!
I still want to know why Bossys husband is trying to give her away to the first retarded person that will have her?
Fer chrissake, email him. Maybe he’s still got that car. Rwaar.
I don’t see how you could ever confuse a Gran Torino with an Oldsmobile. Are you sure he was even your teacher? Your eye for details is suspect in my mind.
you MUST email him!!
Which ever provides better blog fodder!
Careful– there are dangers. I wrote to my old teacher six years ago and now we’re married!
Check the Sex Offender lists first. Maybe he eventually took a student up on her offer; Bossy wouldn’t want to invite a pedophile to dinner, would you?
Email him Bossy, invite him to read the most popular Blog since stalking was the in thing. Then when he is hooked invite him to dindin and make some yummy broccoli ummmm… whatever it was…
First of all, annie’s comment had me on the floor I was laughing so hard.
Also, I’m guessing some of your readers skimmed and missed the part about his name being scrambled. Though, wouldn’t it be cool if his name actually was Eljo? If we have another boy, I’m thinking of using it. Or Joel, because that’s a cool name too.
Write the man. Don’t edit ANYTHING.
Nope.
No way, Jose.
Don’t do it.
if bossy’s husband is ok with it, and bossy is ok with it, then I’m ok with it….so, uh, OK.
Wait. There’s not going to be a video on youtube about this, is there?
Definitely going to have to edit out the mousy thing before emailing.
Absolutely go for it!
All right. I just can’t even believe no one else is flabbergasted – and I mean, totally splayed out, sticking a needle in the vein, eyes, rolling back – SHOCKED – that you didn’t know the difference between a Gran Torino and a Cutlass. That Gran Torino was probably carrying a 351 c.i. and could do zero to 60 before I could reach around to scratch my sad ass…..That having been said, what do you have to lose? Give the guy a thrill. Like his car could have given if it had been a Gran Torino.
I’ve gotta say: I agree with Mrs. G upstream.
It seems like a good idea, and it most certainly would make great material, but don’t do it. Leave those hazy, stardust memories alone. Let sleeping junior high math teachers lie.
Email him…
Sweet Cutlass.
Let that part of the past stay in the past. Although you remained hot, he will have gotten older and fatter. I’m begging you, don’t do it.
Who Cares if Bossy’s husband is ok with it?
YIKES!
OF course you should EMAIL Joel. We know you already did and are holding out on the results for us!
The part of me that enjoys blog fodder says DO IT! But the part of me that wonders whether he’s turned out to be a creepy old guy who wanted to sleep with Bossy AND her mother AND FATHER says…NAH!
Or maybe I’m just jealous I’ve never been able to locate my first true love, my high school English teacher. He was a big surfer man who braved the waves in San Francisco back when no one else did. Mrrrow! His name was Bill Holden, so a Google search just brings up that old wrinkly actor man.
I had a high school sociology teacher who inspired me to listen very closely to that Police song, too.
He gave me an A.
Do it. He’ll get a kick out of it. We’re all older and it will probably make his day. Seems harmless to me, but what the hell do I know?
I know you are going to do it. It’s not like he’s a perv, or he would have hunted you down years ago. I’m sure he would get a kick out of it…very good for the ego of a baby boomer who is facing the decline of testosterone levels, and losing his hair (probably).
An added bonus to consider is what a great bonus this will be for your mom…or her dog.
No Bossy, no! Let the interwebs work its magic and it will get back to him eventually. I’m putting money on it.
Oh, you owe it to us to do it. Ya can’t tease us like that and then back away. You are BOSSY, hero of drudgy academics (me) and suchlike everywhere. BOSSY does not chicken out.
Yeah… what they all said!
Uhh.. DUH!
Just don’t expect anything back. That way, anything he MAY reply is Gravy. Bossy likes gravy. Right?
I think you’ve already emailed him, had a torrid affair, made a bet with him on your 3rd “date” and you lost, so YOU had to be the one with the blog entry explaining everything.
PUH-LEEEEEEAAAAAASEE email him! (Solely for our entertainment.)
Eeek, ok, I’m selfish but come on! Do it. (If Mr. Bossy is ok with it of course.)
You have to do it Bossy-I agree w/your husband-I am sure any teacher would be flattered! Who cares about the wife comment-you were 15 fer chrissakes. And the car is a nonissue. Go for it!
I say email him. I would edit out the mousy first however. It probably doesn’t matter at this point. What are the chances that he’s still married?
I see signs of life….changes in BOSSY’S header! I’m on the edge of my chair with excitment and anticipation!!
YES! You tell me what Now-WAY-Past-Middle-Aged-Teacher wouldn’t want to know he was lusted after, and I’ll tell you not to post it.
Do I hear a Negative?
Didn’t think so.
My most disappointing cinematic turn came in Gidget when Sandra Dee feigned being into the smokin’ Cliff Robertson in order to get to the flaccid Jimmy Darren. E-mail Eljo and maybe the cosmos will come back into balance.
Plus there is an infinitely greater chance of Eljo responding than Cusack.
Well, if he ever Googles himself, he’s going to find the post anyway. And everybody Googles themselves eventually.
If he saw you now I’m pretty sure he’d be all, “Hi there!” How could he not be totally flattered if he knew you were hot for him way back when.
PLEASE email him. And post his reply. PLEASE.
Stalking is the new black?
This is so creepy, weird and wrong. Just plain wrong.
I love it.
Do it.
This is so creepy, weird and wrong. Just plain wrong.
I love it.
Do it.
I’d say yes, if for no other reason than it will give you something to write about and your readers are very curious. But, if you do email him, be sure to clarify by stating that you are no longer stalking him as you are entirely devoted to John C.
I don’t mean to harsh the general buzz, but the possibility exists that he doesn’t remember you at all and that your fondest middle school crush memories will be as crumpled and soiled as a used tissue…