Feb 9, 2008

Now Posting On Weekends So You Don’t Have To.

The other morning Bossy woke up disgusted. She was disgusted by how lousy she feels every morning due to no sleep and bad skin and tightening waistbands and tanking blood sugar. And Bossy began to think about Oprah and
Dr. Beefcake and those Secret ladies and even that little Bob Greene.

And that’s when Bossy admitted she isn’t living Her Best Life. And so she marched over to her kitchen garbage can and she threw away her Nestlé Butterscotch Chips and her Trader Joe’s Premium White Chocolate:

Bossy only wishes she had her camera handy later that night when she fished both items back out of the garbage. Oh, yes way.

permanent link to post

94 comments

1. 1
   on February 9th, 2008 at 10:47 am
   Annie said:

   I nearly called out the white coat holders to come and take you in, to right your mind, to pump you full of drugs and make you realize that…

   THROWING OUT CHOCOLATE IS ALL WRONG!!!!

   Never give up the chocolate. Give up breathing, or sleeping, or something else.. like LIVING.. before you give up that chocolate.

   It’s all a woman has some days.

   Would have loved to have seen the photos of you fishing them back out though.


2. 2
   on February 9th, 2008 at 10:59 am
   Hotdog said:

   Choclate=Happiness. You should never throw it away!! )


3. 3
   on February 9th, 2008 at 11:00 am
   Hotdog said:

   *chocolate* (sorry!)


4. 4
   on February 9th, 2008 at 11:14 am
   FENICLE said:

   I do a clean & purge at least once a year around here too!!!


5. 5
   on February 9th, 2008 at 11:19 am
   Lisa V said:

   Don’t believe those people on Oprah. If living your best life doesn’t include trader joe’s chocolate, then they are communists. Every one of ‘em.


6. 6
   on February 9th, 2008 at 11:20 am
   Grandma J said:

   Dispose, take back…dispose, take back.

   I am soo an Indian Giver too. Just like Bossy.


7. 7
   on February 9th, 2008 at 11:23 am
   Sister Honey Bunch said:

   You can’t just throw the stuff away. You have to either run water all over it and ruin or stuff it down the garbage disposal. Trust me.


8. 8
   on February 9th, 2008 at 11:24 am
   qt said:

   The non-chocolate life is not worth living, bossy. Truly.


9. 9
   on February 9th, 2008 at 11:35 am
   heart shaped hedges said:

   Bossy, dont throw away good chocolate!! Put it in a bag, and then bring it on your road trip to my house

   and…dont be so won over by Oprah. She has her own chefs, trainers, gurus, etc. and she is still soft around the middle (let’s be honest, soft all over.) And there is nothing wrong with being soft….but, hardly the person to follow in regards to healthy living advice.


10. 10
    on February 9th, 2008 at 11:37 am
    Junebug said:

    Oh guess what I did yesterday? I bought a bag of Dolly Madison powdered sugar donuts and ate them as I drove home. I kept looking in the mirror at my white lips. I love Miss Dolly. Shame on me!


11. 11
    on February 9th, 2008 at 11:42 am
    operagal said:

    Never give up the chocolate. Give up breathing, or sleeping, or something else.. like LIVING.. before you give up that chocolate.

    It’s all a woman has some days.

    so, so true!


12. 12
    on February 9th, 2008 at 11:46 am
    amy said:

    been there girl
    xo


13. 13
    on February 9th, 2008 at 11:47 am
    Lori at Spinning Yellow said:

    I just eat it all instead and then figure tomorrow is another day … to go buy some more.


14. 14
    on February 9th, 2008 at 11:49 am
    Susan said:

    Thank God!


15. 15
    on February 9th, 2008 at 11:51 am
    Velma said:

    I’m weak and worthless, too.


16. 16
    on February 9th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
    lora said:

    I threw out a bag of butterscotch chips exactly like that one on Thursday night because it was expired by about 10 months. First I grabbed a handful of stale chips because they are so good, no matter what age they are.
    Three hours later I took another handful and put them back in the trash. The next morning I caught my husband eating them out of the trash.
    What is it with those damned butterscotch chips?


17. 17
    on February 9th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
    Mojo said:

    Done it too! I wish the feeling that made me throw the choclate/tortilla chips/frosting/Oreos/whatever out lasted longer!!


18. 18
    on February 9th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
    corrie said:

    I haven’t been living my Best Life either… But..

    How could ice cream with Kahlua over it be wrong?


19. 19
    on February 9th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
    Bellezza said:

    A girl after my own heart. Only, I wouldn’t have used the phrase “later that night” in retreiving those cherished items. Mine would be, “and only a few seconds after…”


20. 20
    on February 9th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
    Kathy said:

    I do that, too. I try to dump old coffee grinds or something over the top so I won’t fish it out the nest morning, but I then I just buy more at the store the next day.

    Those miniature peanut butter cups are my weakness.


21. 21
    on February 9th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
    Kathy said:

    Oops. Next morning, not nest.


22. 22
    on February 9th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
    Mir said:

    Bossy is speaking my language.


23. 23
    on February 9th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
    Wendy said:

    You can’t be too hasty in throwing away any Nestle anything.


24. 24
    on February 9th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
    Jenn @ Juggling Life said:

    Would it really be your best life without butterscotch chips?


25. 25
    on February 9th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
    All Adither said:

    Mmm. I could go for a Zinger right about now.


26. 26
    on February 9th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
    Reese said:

    I’ve heard people that are “REALLY committed” to throwing out the goodies cover them in something disgusting after they throw them out. At my house there’s no going back after the chocolate chips have skunk poo on them…


27. 27
    on February 9th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
    Deana said:

    Yesterday I threw away my chocolate covered expresso beana. I saw the Oprah show too and though I already live by the code pretty much I just haven’t really been taking the very best care of me lately. So like you I am determined to be healthy and happy. If it kills me.


28. 28
    on February 9th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
    islaygirl said:

    i was in HORROR at the thot of what you threw out, as those are two of my favorite food groups. i would have taken them back, too.


29. 29
    on February 9th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
    Chicky said:

    When I saw you were throwing out your chocolate I screamed,

    “NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

    For real. Out loud.


30. 30
    on February 9th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
    William said:

    Seriously trader joes white chocolate is healthy for you…I eman anything bought at trader joes or whole food automatically is healthy for you.


31. 31
    on February 9th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
    Laura said:

    That’s awesome you are now posting on weekends! Bossy, you must do pilates-it is the best and you can eat whatever you want, drink and still look & feel your best. BTW, I love Trader Joe’s-wish we had one in Bucks County.


32. 32
    on February 9th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
    Adorable Girlfriend said:

    Come on, Bossy. We’ve all seen the Sex and the City episode of Miranda eating the chocolate cake out of the garbage. We all also have done it (or similar or WORSE), whether we admit it or not.


33. 33
    on February 9th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
    Mrs. G. said:

    Don’t be surprised if you see a blonde bespectacled woman rooting through your trash tonight….in a raccoon suit.


34. 34
    on February 9th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
    Suzy said:

    Dude, thank God you remembered the 5 hour rule.


35. 35
    on February 9th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
    Surcie said:

    I feel ya.
    Oh, I love that little Bob Greene. I even listen to him on XM radio. (Not that I do a single solitary thing he says.)


36. 36
    on February 9th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
    A Whole Lot of Nothing said:

    No matter WHAT Dr. Oz says, do NOT throw out your chocolate. Ever.


37. 37
    on February 9th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
    Momo Fali said:

    Weekend posting? I think I love you.


38. 38
    on February 9th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
    mr.lootiatto said:

    boy…we’ve all been there, done that. Damn. I thought I was the only one raiding the trash.


39. 39
    on February 9th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
    Meg said:

    What? Bossy Costanza’ed the chocolate???

    (Sorry, I don’t know how to put a cute little word to replace that huge hyperlink)


40. 40
    on February 9th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
    Meg said:

    Apparently I don’t know how to paste a link either. I made the URL for my name, hopefully, the link to the YOuTube clip referred to above.


41. 41
    on February 9th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
    Meg said:

    Crap. I am retarded. For those who got the reference and want to watch the clip, go to Youtube and enter “George Eats Trash”. [sigh]


42. 42
    on February 9th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
    HRH said:

    At least the rescue was successful…


43. 43
    on February 9th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
    Kelley said:

    Rule 34 baby….. betcha there is p0rn about throwing out said chocolate, fishing it out of the garbage and then shoving it up your rectum.

    Yes way.

    I have lost my innocence. The damn internets have taken my innocence.

    And babe, you must never throw away chocolate. Every time chocolate is wasted an angel gets PMS.


44. 44
    on February 9th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
    Swistle said:

    This only makes me love you more.


45. 45
    on February 9th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
    motherbumper said:

    Garbage picking and dumpster diving are very underrated. Think of it as your contribution to saving the environment.


46. 46
    on February 9th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
    nottryingforaboy said:

    Next time you wake up feeling disgusted, you can alway send them here. I’ll even pay for shipping.


47. 47
    on February 9th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
    rusalina said:

    bossy must be telling the truth a bit twisted, right? she did not exactly eat that from the garbage….or did she?


48. 48
    on February 9th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
    we_be_toys said:

    I was going to say…What? Are you maaaad?
    Whew…
    I am so relieved that no chocolate chips (or even the butterscotch ones) were harmed in the making of this blog.


49. 49
    on February 9th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
    Busy Mom said:

    I was on the way to your house to get them back out.


50. 50
    on February 9th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
    C'tina said:

    We’ve all been THERE. Not THERE as in digging thru Bossy’s trashcan….but I have thrown out hommade chocolate rum balls and thankfully had the good sense to retrieve them….can you imagine??? Damn those rumballs are goo-oood, I make mine with nilla wafers and cocoa, not chips… by the time I melt the chocolate chips i’ve drunk all the rum….so I beat the nilla wfers to crush them…better than beating the kids….dump everything in the cusinart..and eat it right out of the bowl attachment..watch you don’t cut your tounge on the blade….cause your tipsy from all those swigs of rum…..who’s all been THERE?!


51. 51
    on February 9th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
    Amy said:

    I read your blog everyday. I am delurking to say….
    I would of fetched them out too!


52. 52
    on February 9th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
    MammaLoves said:

    All of the sudden Mamma is battling acne–ON HER CHEEKS!!

    Maybe if I were 20 years younger!!! WTF???


53. 53
    on February 9th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
    slouching mom said:

    i was going to write that i’d take that white chocolate off of your hands.

    but i won’t go so far as to fetch it out of your stomach.

    that, i won’t do.


54. 54
    on February 9th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
    dgm said:

    One word: magnesium. Get it into your system regularly and the sugar cravings go bye-bye. Too much sugar starts to taste too sweet, and in a kind of disgusting way.


55. 55
    on February 9th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
    Manic Mommy said:

    So very, very nice to find you here on a Saturday night. I miss Bossy on the weekends.

    Don’t worry The Easter Bunny’s coming.


56. 56
    on February 9th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
    Suebob said:

    Oh, Suebob would NEVER do something like that. It would be dark chocolate all the way. And Suebob would never melt choc chips together with coconut milk and lick it off a spoon…no, never


57. 57
    on February 9th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
    Say What? said:

    How could ice cream with Kahlua over it be wrong?

    If lovin’ this is wrong, then baby, I don’t wanna be right!


58. 58
    on February 9th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
    Chesapeake Bay Woman said:

    Bossy’s Not Great Life is hilarious. And very, very great.


59. 59
    on February 9th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
    Chesapeake Bay Woman said:

    Let’s try again.

    Bossy’s Not Best Life is hilarious. And very, very great.


60. 60
    on February 9th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
    Not the Queen said:

    Shh! I totally would have done the same thing.


61. 61
    on February 10th, 2008 at 12:15 am
    Cindy Z said:

    Have done that very same thing on occasion!


62. 62
    on February 10th, 2008 at 12:23 am
    Strizz said:

    Dude like we thought you were actually going to throw those away.


63. 63
    on February 10th, 2008 at 2:15 am
    debbie said:

    sigh* Are we purging all our secrets here? If I tell you does this mean it didn’t really happen? I actually threw some cake in the trash…threw coffee grounds on top….about 45 minutes later, I realized after scraping most of the coffee off the cake, that, damn…coffee and cake DO go good together.


64. 64
    on February 10th, 2008 at 2:45 am
    stephanie (bad mom) said:

    Oh thank God. My blood pressure rose just reading the words “she threw away her…” AGGHH.

    I, too, am having crummy sleep & skin times but somehow the chocolate still makes it all better…


65. 65
    on February 10th, 2008 at 10:44 am
    Jen said:

    I’m right there with you–can’t remember the last time I set foot in a gym. I think it may have been pre-W.

    I’ve learned the hard way that I have to put things down the garbage disposal if I really want them gone. Desperation? It is a stinky cologne.


66. 66
    on February 10th, 2008 at 11:15 am
    Sister Sassy said:

    That is why you have to flush it or put it down the disposal. you can’t fish that out.


67. 67
    on February 10th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
    The Domestic Goddess said:

    Damn straight you got it out of the trash! YOU DON’T THROW AWAY ANYTHING FROM TJ’S!!!!


68. 68
    on February 10th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
    Amanda said:

    Mm-hmmm, I knew these foul number two diapers had a purpose, I defy you to wrap something you wish to be rid of in them and b e able to fish it out later. Matter of fact, maybe I should start performing all change sin the kitchen, that’d kick start the Best life shift.


69. 69
    on February 10th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
    Christine said:

    Am I supposed to be living My Best Life? That’s why I don’t ever watch Oprah. I don’t want to know what I’m doing wrong with my life. Ignorance is bliss. More wine!


70. 70
    on February 10th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
    Tootsie Farklepants said:

    Bossy was supposed to sabotage the snacks so that they cannot be fished out. Silly Bossy.


71. 71
    on February 10th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
    the mama bird diaries said:

    oh yes. Have done it.

    Good thing about new york city, you can throw it down the trash shute.

    I mean there is no way I’m going down 6 flights into the trash compactor for my chocolate.

    Right? I mean I really wouldn’t. I hope.


72. 72
    on February 10th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
    Leaf, probably... said:

    Actually you probably didn’t want the camera there for the fishing out…


73. 73
    on February 10th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
    Avitable said:

    I wish we had a Trader Joe’s around here. I miss it so much!


74. 74
    on February 11th, 2008 at 11:03 am
    David said:

    Hi,

    Y chromosome here. Um, I’ve had an untouched half-bag of Hershey’s kisses that I’d used for some baking sitting in my cupboard since December.

    Hat’s off, ladies. I don’t think I could survive one week as a woman.


75. 75
    on February 11th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
    heels said:

    If you hadn’t, I would have. I have no shame when it comes to white chocolate.

    What am I saying? I have no shame.


76. 76
    on February 11th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
    Foolery said:

    It figures — the ONE weekend when I don’t check in with Bossy in a hopeful and pathetic stalkerish way, she actually BLOGS.

    And if there’s a best life that’s actually better than one that includes heart attack snacks, I’ve yet to imagine it.


77. 77
    on February 11th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
    MamaMo said:

    Bossy is a beautiful, laughing, caring woman with an amazing family and a strong love for life and appreciation of simple beauty — what could possibly be “not Best” about that?


78. 78
    on February 12th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
    VDog said:

    At least it was on *top* of the trash? Right? RIGHT??


79. 79
    on February 19th, 2008 at 4:01 am
    erin said:

    I’ve been known to fish chocolate out of the garbage…but don’t tell anyone;)


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