May 20, 2008
Ten-Word Tuesday. The Life Out Of Control Edition.
This is Bossy’s front closet, and it is being featured today in order to illustrate Bossy’s out-of-control house, except—a funny thing happens when Bossy tries to document mess: nothing ever looks that bad in the pictures, which doesn’t make this tale classically funny, but more like the kind of funny when only a few moments remain before the mental ward staff shoves gauze in your mouth so you don’t swallow your tongue.
Bossy doesn’t understand why the mound of fallen jackets and gloves and paint-splattered sneakers and tube socks and old roller skates doesn’t look that overwhelming in the picture, just like she doesn’t understand why the tangle of scarves and dog leashes and jump ropes and other scarves and still more scarves doesn’t appear that tangled.
So Bossy tried to take another representational photograph, except this time it was of the top of her bedroom bureau:
But again, it’s hard to sense the total effect of wrinkled nightgowns and empty hair product containers and ill-fitting jewelry and old receipts and rubber bands and lists and notes and lists.
So then Bossy thought maybe she should take a photo of her daughter’s desk, which would surely serve to document the problem:
But then Bossy decided it would be rude to photograph her daughter’s desk.
The point is: Only a few days remain until Bossy throws a graduation party for her son, and yet her house has become such a disaster it’s hard to know where or how to begin to tidy.
Which leads Bossy to today’s challenge: in exactly ten words, can you share with Bossy a part of your life or house that is completely out of control?
Because Bossy needs some form of entertainment while she waits for the straight jacket. Check back later today for the funniest comments on the web.
looming unemployment and my resume is a verbal explosion!
[ps. Is that the Official Scarf of BOSSY's Excellent Road Trip in the first photo?]
Who invented bathroom grout, because Bossy would like a word…
Kids playroom with new bag of chips strewn all over!
What’s the official position on baggy-knee sweatpants? Toss? Save?
Weird odor in the refrigerator. Smells like sour cream lettuce.
You’ve got nothing on me – I can see your floors!
My daughter’s room looks like Barbie barfed everywhere. Pink overload.
middle son’s room, can’t walk, master bath, missing the shower.
i’m organized mostly, but OH my checking account isn’t. sob.
Weekend camping, unpacked van into kitchen, dishes, blankets, cooler, remains
Money flies out of my checking account. Make it stop.
Our pool table is covered with SO much junk/stuff!!
Who are these people, and why must I feed them?
Time to call a meeting of Grrlz Moral Support Co-Op
That is exactly ten perfect words.
How long should Bossy keep old client files? 100 years?
Is there a practical reason to hang on to Desitin?
Grossest place in the house? My kitchen garbage can, bleah!
Bathroom cabinets cannot be opened for fear of being crushed.
Ten words are not enough to convey my overwhelming mess.
No control over food consumption. Going to need control-top pantyhose.
Desitin? No
Baggy knee sweats? Yes
Weird odor? Baking Soda (to combat, not actually causing the odor)
Bought a house, trying to sell a house, three mortgages!
Laundry piles grow and swell and multiply and overtake me.
I have three kids three and under all in diapers.
Where are all the spoons, I need a clean spoon. (or fork, or glass, or bowl)
(sorry I did two…but that shows how out-of-control my life is.)
My four adult children home for summer. No surfaces spared!
I do not know what color the playoom floor is
Special kids come with extra paperwork. My weak spot revealed.
My closet needs arranged by fat to skinny clothing sizes.
I can wash and dry laundry,putting it up? NO.
Rotten berry’s and tomatoes galore. Is this bread or mold?
Grandchild junk everywhere
10 days left
I’ll miss them then.
Interior of the house is the disaster part. Ugh.
Twice Cooked Pork Tenderloin…YUM. Three weeks (m)old…EWW.
Just dog hair on floor – I thought husband installed carpet!
Daughter yearns to play pingpong in garage for YEARS.
Got pingpong table free six years ago…still can’t play.
See why here: http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff12/indianshadow/garage.jpg
that was supposed to be one “or” the other…I liked the second one best.
And if that isn’t truly pathetic, I sure don’t know what is!!! =))
My checkbook is an accountants worst nightmare. Send help please!
My kitchen appliances are in the dining room today. F&%#.
Endless! The more I toss, the more I need to.
is it bad to say that i feel so much better right now !!!
Why can’t my children learn to flush the toilet? Ewwwwww.
Helicopters fall (into gutters), overgrown shrubs, unplanted plants, my YARD!!
This is just too easy for me and will require tears.
It’s just all of out control.
Start with the front closet and pack away winter wear.
My closet threw up all over my bed. Why does (the really funny part was coming but Bossy limited me to 10 words!!)?
Ecstatic to see it. Tired of trying to keep up with House Beautiful.
I have misplaced my brain somewhere in this damn cubicle.
husband in Singapore, should be less dishes
dining out tonight…
Madness UNmedicated gets NO support at all what so ever.
Small house, three people, kitten, four dogs equals total chaos.
I can’t stop stepping on Cheerios on the kitchen floor.
Entire landfill interior of house. Youngest’s birthday? Pool party outside.
Three kids. Two dogs. New rugs. You do the math.
Every room, closet, nook and cranny is a disaster here.
The house itself. Everything else can fit into a box.
Office – Pepto-Bismol, unanswered voice mails, ringing phone, overdue projects, Solitaire.
bought a house without a basement to reduce laundry piles.
Take a deep breath, close all the doors and drink
Pile of laundry is threatening to take over the world.
Would have to be the garage; not my domain. Hmmmm.
Wait! I’M supposed to clean this place? We are doomed.
The kid’s glasses are irretrievably lost — somewhere in the house.
Caring for three extra children, husband having mid life crisis
Barbie, Polly Pocket, American Girl: tiny shoes all over house.
Absolutely, Positively, No Question About It at all, Bossy – EVERYTHING.
My house, which I’ll be moving out of SOON!
Graduation over. 13 years of daughter’s life all over house!!
One. More. Shove. Should. Do. It. Closed drawers are cleaner?
Umm, all of it?
front yard a glorious landscaped homage to the “skate park”.
Bedroom closet = eight years of unpacked boxes still to empty!!
I can’t handle clutter. This post made Fab weep.
Create Doggy memorial. Disfuntional sprinklers & 100 degree heat don’t mix.
(“&” is not a word, right?!!)
At least you still have sheetrock! That plus disastrous clutter!
Damn rabbit chewed a hole through the door. Hasenfeffer, anyone?
You are not alone. My closet is just as messy!
Water Pipes Leaking from Bathroom and Kitchen Oh Mah Gawd
Your Party? Serve lots of beer, nobody will notice anything.
I am moving in two weeks. Do I win?
Mr Farty is always organised except when it comes to
Moved three months ago; boxes are still full and everywhere
Too much stuff. Not enough closets. Need to DOWNSIZE now!
I’ll save these size 8 jeans; I’ll be there again!
Two children make laundry angels in pile of dirty clothes.
Dusty old house tiny evil closets dogs sleep on wardrobe.
Wait… are you suggesting something in my life’s in control?
No room for walking on the basement steps.
My kitchen is a disaster area. I want to scream.
Livingroom overflowing with suitcases from vacation, bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom.
If I had at least 10 more words I would tell you the tale of my completely out of control life along with my out of control house.
Sweetheart – get thee to a Discount Store and invest in bins, tubs and baskets. They are a LIFESAVER at making a mess look like an organizational wet dream.
Now – you want to talk out of control… let’s discuss the Florida Drought that is killing my yard and bringing me letters from the HOA.
Hubby gone and the girls don’t take subtle cleaning hints.
white dog hair tumbleweeds across living room floor, coffe table…
Welcome to Clean Laundry Mountain: bedroom decor at its finest!
My house is covered in a thick layer of receipts!
Be very careful of the playroom–toys will kidnap you.
Life: when he loves you but isn’t IN love anymore.
Not to be outdone by receipts are the paper airplanes!
morning bleh evening bleh all day bleh “morning” sickness sucks
Looks like Bossy needs a visit from Clean Sweep…
Son’s multi-toyed ongoing war of the worlds across bedroom floor.
Who drew a happy face in the dust covering my desk?
Adding to the chaos by cluttering up BOSSY’s comments section.
Oh why won’t my refrigerator clean itself? It is scary!
It is easier to list what is in control: nothing
What’s the official position on baggy-knee sweatpants? Toss? Save?….
SAVE & CUT EM = sweat ’shorts’ for summer
My dungeon for teenage girls is a mess. Panties everywhere.
Selling the house soon. Need HGTV to come save me!
Heading into my fourth move in two years. Any questions?
Funky smell, it follows me through the house. The Dog!!
kitchen gutted for months, renovation still no where in sight
So much dust on books, I sneezed my uterus out.
If it fits in my house, it’s out of control.
dog’s health gone bad! all my money/tears following behind!
***
(he’s getting better!)
My boys are trying to literally break the other’s limbs.
need to see picture of baggy-kneed sweatpants to call
One angry adopted foster wiener that wants to kill everyone.
Hallie
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/
Whole house though bedrooms are worst – collecting cobwebs new pastime.
keep the desitin only if you suffer frequent diaper rash
Life is a beach but sand is freaking EVERYWHERE. Beh.
we all have lyme disease (or just bronchitis and pink eye) so entire house disaster.
floors. bathrooms. my closet. car. then all the little things.
One day I’ll find my studio’s carpet again. One Day.
Money is the root of all evil. I like evil.
Could you please put shit back where you found it?!
How Bossy gets MILLIONS to leave comments on her blog.
My living room is an explosion of papers and books.
our front closet is out of control too. help me!
Arson is the only viable option I can sanely consider.
Inside: disaster. Outside: Joadsville. Light a match and drive away.
(This phrase knocked me out, Bossy: “ill-fitting jewelry”)
Oh, the garage, which is my husband’s territory, of course!
My closet.
Bossy must go to flylady.net.
Baby Steps.
Kitchen Cabinets and Drawers, BUT!, they can remain closed, Right?
Single mom dating. House fine – head, heart? Such a mess.
closet is not too full until solid wood door buckles
Bossy-call in the professionals! They will help you MASSIVELY!!
(looks like you need it-sheesh, what a fooking mess!)
Lisa
coastal nest
I’ll take that gift card off your hands.
you need lots of trash bags so you can sort that stuff and get rid of 3/4 of it to goodwill, sell, or trash/recycle!
Three year old: Fish food, water, and Fluff, oh my!
Car would get better mileage if I cleaned it out.
I’m lazy and I have a toddler. Everything’s a MESS!!
My bedroom – I’m afraid a published photo of it would get me locked up for crimes against humanity. (sorry, more than 10 words, I know)
Intestinal mischief in the dog, young twins step in it.
Grad school, work, sick dog, crazy cats make desks messy.
Found Easter eggs in a ziplock under daughter’s bed.
Nothing in bedroom belongs: not sewing, not boxes, not husband.
JK’s house & Bossy’s = identical twins separated by space/time
Left in fridge long enough, carrots resemble toothpicks. Who knew?
fat butt-dust bunnies-recycling mountain-slimy bathtub-garage hell.
p.s. Eliza…laughing out loud in a room full of quiet people. thanks.
Can’t open drawers, stuck. Can’t open doors, avalanche. Screw it.
my spouse is a pack rat. nuff said right there.
House for sale but looks more like its been condemned.
Black garbage bags, don’t think, fill up, Goodwill drop off.
Two kittens who adore potted plants, waste baskets and chair backs.
Wooden floors look like I raise Angora Rabbits not dogs.
Exploding drawers, stuff piles everywhere, send in the Cleaning Faeries!
My car is a trash can on wheels. Frito smell.
too much mold to clean, need new bathroom tile grout
messy…not me. my house is immaculate. ha ha ha!
My dining room is not for dining, but stockpiling junk.
Cheap food for party:
Ask Ree to fedex 500 calfnuts
That’s easy, the part of my life when I’m awake.
Dog sitting for two weeks; back yard full of shit.
BOSSY, you secretly took pictures of my dresser, didn’t you?
(that is TEN, woohoo!)
Molly
dining room floor. mystery chunks. fossilized crumbs. day-glo rug stains.
When did Bossy have time to photograph *my* front hall closet?
The whole entire g*d d***ed place is out of control.
Need new house, fresh start. Too late for this one.
I have to finish college this year
Eating a years supply of food in 1 day. Belch.
Voluntary Simplicity? Who am I kidding? No one but me.
(Is no one, one word or two??)
Idea for bossy:
Pack up those clothes and scarves into a box…include contents of bureau (include all beautiful jewelry) and send to: eclecticallyyours.typepad.com.
My house, kids and dogs turning me into raging alcoholic.
Laundry is multiplying like rabbits, send the rescue squad quick.
Bird living in attic fell through wallspace into basement today.
(“scratchy, scratchy, scratch”= sound effects, not to be counted in the ten words, m’kay)
What is control? And am I supposed to have it?
The children’s closets are seriously the bane of my existence.
I’d say it’s the whole freakin’ place. Big, overgrown mess.
And I’m having trouble caring about it. (As a total side comment, that doesn’t count in the 10 words)
seasonal clothing rotation: bins, bags, drawers, shelves but nothing fits (any of us…)
Two preschoolers, three dogs, two cats: Organized yes, clean no.
4,568 unmatched socks – when child runs out, just buy more.
The outside* looks great, but the inside** is a mess.
*Look around my house, and everything looks immaculate.
**Open a door or a closet or a cupboard, and you risk your life because something heavy, pointy, sharp WILL fall out on you.
Kinda sums up me as a person, don’t you think? Nice-looking on the outside, scary as hell on the inside.
*sigh*
I’ve gone way over 10 words now. I’ll stop.
Every corner, crevice and surface – you are not alone, Bossy!
Laundry room or garbage dump? Dogs and clothing, bad combo.
Laundry room or garbage dump? Dogs and clothing, bad combo.
Underneath the bathroom sink: bottles, cords, potions, pills, random Q-tips…
Graduation over. Enough coleslaw, pasta salad to feed the army.
(Oh, Lordy. Where to begin?)
Minivan strewn with evidence of too many trips to Starbucks.
Graduation over. Now getting daughter to write thank you cards!
musty wet dog smell
coming from god knows where.
eeeeewww.
Impending birthday party with twenty-five children seven and under.
Why not save every receipt and utility bill since 1997?
House is a land mine – need to excavate every room
My bedroom floor carpet is some sort beige, I think.
Attempting spring cleaning.
Threw entire wardrobe(frustration) –landed on floor.
2nd bedroom…we call it the office, but it’s really the room that holds all of our crap! very scary in there! teetering piles everywhere!
k, more than 10 words again
moving into a place 1/3 the size of mine now!
Short deadline week: stories, interviews and writing too overwhelming.
Broken, unused toys.
Disorganized.
1,000,000 Matchbox cars.
The boyz’ playroom.
My stepson moved in 4 weeks ago – still no job.
See thirty mess examples thru my link. Many have returned.
Collecting money for 4 classrooms worth of teacher gifts, argh…
my weight my age my house my yard my finances
Every part is chaos, but I am wearing clean underwear.
sorry, this won’t be 10.
scrolling backwards I felt so sad and overwhelmed by
“when he loves you but is no longer in love”
post.
that kind of honesty only comes once in a lifetime.
The rest is just sickening clutter…through your shit away people.
throw your shit away.
spare room is a serious death trap. nosy people beware!
Crumbs and clutter will soon take over the entire universe!
three kids leave many crumbs-hmmm-need to borrow dog.
Basement closet. Crammed in there, the whole house neater by default.
Relieved knowing I am not alone with dressers like that!
The carpets used to be mauve, now are stained brown.
Game room closet – do all toys come with small pieces?
My toilet is on the porch. Need I say more?
Mayberry Magpie
Paper piles on the floor,
tables, desk, and chairs galore.
Selling house. Two teenage+ sons, one husband, two dogs. Nuffsaid.
If you can name it, it is under my couch.
garage sale Saturday. can’t see floor of garage.
Hey weird! My first post got filed under “Ms. Florida Transplant”s name, and my name ended up on some comment about a checkbook being out of control.
It’s like a Reese’s peanut butter cup commercial around here!
So yeah, that’s my picture of my garage, just so I can take full responsibility for the shame of it all! =)
Ok, I promise I’ll stop. I just realized that our names are BELOW our comments. Sheesh. Sorry to be so new to all this! =)
four adults, two children, two dogs, two cats, two turtles.
recognise bank number on caller id, credit card over AGAIN?
Garage. Holder of untold treasures still packed after three moves.
Found child I didn’t know I had in bedroom closet.
*PS…love the strategically placed Obama sticker on the bag in your closet…*
Just one? Too hard to narrow it down. My front hall closet is about 4 feet deep in stuff. What stuff? I don’t know. My kids bedrooms are horrible. My bedroom is pretty damn bad, too.
But the rest of the house looks OK.
Glad it’s not just me, you should see my house.
Letting work slip because of school and feeling SO guilty!
Remodeling bedroom,RAIN! furniture half-stained in livingroom. clothes everywhere no room
PreMenstraul Dysphoric Disorder Does Not a Happy Home Make…Savvy?
EVERYBODY HAS TOO MUCH CRAP, AND WE ALWAYS BUY MORE!
Hop in. Never mind Cheerios, tissues, toys, dirty socks, stench…
(does my car count as part of my house?)
Funky smell in laundry room. Cannot find source. Torch it?
House fire. Everything packed. Taken. Cleaned. Then brought back. Unpacking. =(
desitin smells like baby bum…keep it!
xoxo
tcb
FSBO house, back to college after ten years. Mind clutter.
My kids fear a death by crap-o-lanche in my garage.
The sugar and chocolate that I devour is pretty crazy.
My entire house sucks, and I wish I could move!!!!!!
Sewing room. Always think ‘I CAN use that bit ‘o fabric.
Some people don’t get the gist of ten word Tuesday!
My junk drawers won’t even open anymore.
Home Management System won’t work no more. I blame everyone.
So bad, I wish I could make it just DISAPPEAR!
No room on any horizonatal surface, dog hair is everywhere!
Crap, I can’t even SPELL horizontal. Sorry.
My wardrobe is a pit of despair. Close the door.
Office is out of control. I just close the door.
It looks like I stole Leaf, probably’s idea, but I didn’t read any comments before posting my own! How weird is that?
Do not look under my beds. Do not go near my garage.
Peace
#2
The whole house. Three words. Oops, five words. Um, eight….
Get organized? Put stuff away? Who’s brilliant idea is that?
Skunk keeps biting dog and shitting in closet. Help, Please!
Oh, that would be the part that pays the bills.
I think people eat the spoons around here.
Good grief.
Laundry. Garage. Clothes, junk to give away.
Papers to shred.
Burgeoning laundry piles no clean socks must buy more socks.
Try flylady.net – babysteps, baby.
The office…small…dark…where misplaced things go to die.
Overwhelmed ShallowGal can’t even tidy enough before cleaning service arrives.
xoxo, (A very spoiled) SG
Bossy’s husband in bathroom right now replacing tub’s caulk line.
More clothes on floor than I ever knew I had.
Is it bad that my only clean undies have holes?
Bossy and ShallowGal can be roommates at the mental hospital!
ShallowGal blames Bossy that she now thinks in iambic pentameter.
husband moved out. much sadder than I ever expected. Damn.
Drowning in Legos, stuffed animals. Kids are packrats. Husband too.
I have kept every piece of paper, button, pen, sticker.
Four car garage and one Subaru fits just barely.
“Organizational wet dream”? Did anyone else happen to catch that?
twenty six, just divorced, moving back in with my parents.
Son’s unfinished projects/toys everywhere and I couldn’t care less!!
Laundry room overflows with things we will never again wear.
(I thought about saying “overfloweth” to make it fancy, but it seemed too much for a Wednesday. Also, we’re trying to pare down here.)
Cannot see kitchen table top.
Mom and Dad visiting tomorrow.
Is green an appropriate color for kitchen sink mat thingies?
trying to sleep with laundry (not folded) on my bed.
My desk is so messy I can’t pay the bills.
I can’t believe how easy that was…
My house looks just like yours. Seriously.
Preschooler artwork amassed next to STOVE! Soon we’ll be torched!!!
Oh how that reminds me of my brain….on drugs.
I have just two words to say here~~~Fly Lady!!!
Laundry, baskets, boxes, crafts, dishes, papers, homework, books, wires, junk.
Bedroom dust so thick I make my husband sleep alone.
Every part of my life looks like that right now.
Teacher appreciation day, mom’s 70th birthday, shutterfly album, brain exploded.
Oh my god, Bossy, you and I live in the same house. Common areas? Neat and tidy. Just, er, don’t open those closet doors.
My room? The dresser becomes the landing zone for all the crap I pick up just ahead of a friend visiting our house. Today is the day on my calendar for cleaning my room…and I keep hitting “remind me later”. Annnnnyyyy minute now I’ll clean it up.
Uh, oops. Just read that little bit about “10 words”. Ok:
Need ACME-style TNT exploder for embarrassingly messtastic dresser.
4 boys 48 shoes – worse than a bunch of girls
Maybe Bossy should see if someone will give her a “straighten up” jacket, instead!
Ten words hmm?
I have no pictures but my house looks like Bossy’s.
Ten words or less :: ALL OF IT.
clothes for donation piling up everywhere paper is swallowing me
Cheese-burned iron after adolescent makes his own damn lunch.
WOULD RATHER THROW DIRTY DISHES AWAY AND BUY NEW ONES.
puking, peeing-thirteen weeks pregnant now and can’t control shit.
I’m back. Too much for ten words – wrote a post.
http://mccathy.blogspot.com/2008/05/just-trying-to-make-you-all-feel-better.html
Getting the house selling-ready. Been at it for months.
Legos, every-forking-where.
…even in my underwear (premature submit)
Must tunnel like a mole commando-style to find my bed.
left bath running. flooded the apartment. two rooms need replastering.