Jun 26, 2008
Meet Bossy’s Project Manager.
While certain people who shall remain nameless have good friends who make sure they remain on task, Bossy has only this bottle of wine. OK, that’s not entirely true. She also has many other bottles just like it.
Bossy’s point is that she has a list of things she needs to accomplish this summer, and so far she’s doing a very bad job of tackling any of it.
These tasks include but are not limited to:
- Learn how to incorporate more legalese, such as include but are not limited to.
- Redesign i am bossy. Bossy sat and thought about the functional changes she needs to make to this blog, changes that will allow for better archiving of features like Favorite Things, and changes that will allow for more automation so Bossy doesn’t have to get under the hood every day to make these adjustments by hand.
So Bossy created a mock-up design in Photoshop. The new design features a few navigational buttons on her banner, and consistent navigational buttons along her left column, as well as a new footer containing navigational buttons, and other random navigational buttons.
The problem is Bossy doesn’t know enough computer code to translate her Photoshop design into reality, especially with all of that Navigating going on. So yesterday Bossy went to her local library and filled out request cards for every CSS How-To Manual located within the four corners of her county, which is sort of an exercise in futility since
<Bossy>
<will never>
<{
<be able
}
to teach herself Fooking CSS.>which brings us to:
- Locate a crackerjack web designer with expertise in navigational design, who not five minutes ago decided they wanted to dedicate their summer to working for free.
- Bossy needs to accomplish other things this summer too—like completing work on her reader photo collage, and learning how to use Photoshop’s Bridge to catalogue her photos, and she needs to dust-off her core ball, and she needs to use her core ball, and then she needs to squeeze into last year’s bathing suit, as soon as she finds last year’s bathing suit, and she needs to organize her closet so she can find things like bathing suits, and please excuse Bossy now while she checks herself into a medical facility for psychological treatment.
Bossy, it’s summer. Kick back and relax. We’ll be here come fall. Just don’t stop posting.
Good morning Bossy
You got my email way back when re: mapping the collage right?
Re: the design, have you tried playing around with pre-made templates, swapping in your elements for the existing ones, and playing around with the height and width settings? Sometimes that’s all it takes.
PS: Love your core ball photos
If you feel the urge to move to Minnesota, I have an amazing web designer who is redoing my Cheap Empire for me. And he’s reasonably priced! And serves snacks! Which makes everything better.
Well, just reading your to-do list has made me sleepy, so I guess I’ll go take a nap now. Thus, handily ignoring my ever-growing summer list of stuff that must get done NOW.
Maybe your project manager, WINE, can come over and meet my project manager, PINA COLADA.
Bet they’d get a shit load accomplished!!
Hallie
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/
Awww, Bossy – sorry you’re feeling so stressed. Clearly you haven’t discovered Bloody Marys – the “daytime” project manager.
Wow, we have the same project manager … no wonder nothing is getting done =)
My excuse on changing up my blog?
I’ll wait until after BlogHer because I designed my cards similar to my blog.
Not a good enough excuse? Ok … I’ll go talk to the project manager.
I’m in the process of learning new development now. I’m a programmer who is currently working in vb.net applications. With everyone wanting to go to internet development, now company wants me to as well. CSS isn’t that bad, trust me.
I will design your website for free! I’m not kidding, either. I’m going to e-mail you right now so you can see just how serious I am.
Summer is for relaxing! At least that is what I tell myself. I think OMSH does such great blog design. Didn’t she do Pioneer Women’s blog?
All this has me about to go into a fetal postition…..*gasp*….I just now figured out how to transload pictures from Photobucket. I have to go now…you are just too awesome and have such lofty goals…and I just use a template.
Bossy, I just checked into the Sunnydale Psychological center and am having a great time. My roomate just moved out if you are thinking of entering a center. Tonight we’re have tater tots and peas, this place rocks. Tomorrow is the Phylis Diller and Wally Cox look-a-like contest. This place is awesome
That stuff about the bathing suits and closets? I totally could have written that. The day we promised to take my daughter to the pool, I was up bright and early and speeding to Target in order to buy a new bathing suit. This was after an evening spent sinking into depression after trying on old ones.
Bossy, I work in a mental health facility so I can get you a discount. You just have to come to southwestern Virginia…*hear dueling banjos in the background* Be afraid…be very afraid…
My project manager is Ms. Kamikaze.
She’ll take everyone’s project managers down…she’s doesn’t work well with others…
I love chianti!
I have on my list to upgrade to the newer version of wordpress and I’m dragging my feet so bad (because I’m skeered). I also have on my list to change our format from a two column to a three column format. Oh yeah and I’m sure there are other plugins that I need to add to make our life easier. I just haven’t been motivated yet.
Basically … I suck – haha
Is 8:30 too early to drink? Just wondering…
I feel your pain. My daughter brought back a bottle of wine from Italy.
You are going to need a few more of those booze bottles, my friend. It must be Thirsty Thursday. Well, it is for me:
http://meandyouandellie.blogspot.com/
BOSSY. ain’t nuthin’ wrong with yer website from this end.
i peed a little laughing at the core ball pics.
Have you checked in your as-yet-unpacked roadtrip luggage for your bathing suit? Maybe it’s in there.
Maybe if you share a few of those “project managers” some clever human would lend you a hand.
Or, maybe you need to do another of those chore-swapping-friend days…
Yup – I know what you mean re: the blog stuff. I’ve been trying to figure out similar blog stuff. How do you know when to give up and find someone who knows what the hell they’re doing? Is it when you actually start bleeding out your ears from banging your head on the desk? If so, I’m so there…
Oh, Bossy. Barter with your traffic. Just trade linky love for web design and I bet someone would jump at the chance.
Oh Bossy .. you made Madness tired and overwhelmed FOR you…
Or perhaps Madness is tired and overwhelmed because she drank her own very huge bottle of wine (yes, all of it) and stayed up till 3 am (smashed and trashed) the night before the fiscal year close of her biggest account at her new job and oh uh.. how smart was all that again?
*hiccup* help *sniffle* me
I’ll drink to that.
Your project manager Gabbi is two years old. Take charge. Tell Gabbi we’re all taking a summer sabbatical with Moe Heeto.
Me thinks Bossy needs some more fooking wine.
elance Bossy…it might just be the answer.
come to my house and we can forget the fooking responsibilities. we’ll drink lots and lots of wine and then we won’t give a shit when we put on our bathing suits and our stomachs are hangin’ in the wind. it’s all about perspective.
After having a blog since the beginning of 07, I recently found out what CSS stands for.
HOLY JEEZ!
I’m stressed just reading it. Krikey.
i wish i had a project manager like that! unfortunately the nature of my job and the fact that we live in a conservative place makes for project managers of the unfermented variety. sigh.
Can we share a room in that mental facility?
Crap, you reminded me that I haven’t sent you a photo yet! I’m glad you are running behind!
But don’t stop your list there. I want you to be like Obama and help me ask people to pay down my debt. See: Obama is to Hillary AS Bossy is to Deb. Simple as the SAT! http://tinyurl.com/2env2p
Knows CSS like back of hand.
Hey what the heck is that on the back of my hand?!? j/k
Bossy, this Utah chick would love to offer you her web design services. And she’ll only charge you CHEAP AS IN FREE!! I’d love to do it. I’ve been aching to, since I read it daily, and I think it’d be fun.
email me, sista.
Bossy, I’m impressed that you even attempted to learn CSS…whatever it is. Because when I see letters together like that and they don’t spell something, I know I am done. I need my letters to SPELL something.
Also, I think I needs to get me a project manager. Maybe that’s my problem.
Oh, Bossy. I’m the one who needs the big bottle of Project Manager. I haven’t even figured how to do the link thing just yet. Does that make me a bad person?
that is one sweet, sweet project manager, there…
I do tons of web dev. and frankly, if you have a design and the graphics of what you want it to look like somebody good (like me
) could put it into code in just a few hours. Might be more worth your time to just pay a bit out of pocket than trying to learn how to do it all on your own. JMHO.
Maybe you should just forget about it for a while and take a road trip!
For starters you can stop stalking me online. That might free up some time. And for finishers you can learn html and then explain it to me even though I’ve stopped accepting your emails due to STALKING laws which are limited to but do not include wine.
I’d love to help BOSSY, but everything I know about CSS, I learned from a beermat.
Bossy doll, I say forget everything , take that bottle of wine, get in the car and come to my house and hang by the pool. Ya know don’t think you are that far from me !!
90’s starting tomorrow!!!
#1
Bossy, if like you said you already have mapped out a design for your site, then let me have a look and I can do it for you.
But I think a lot offered already. Hmm.. well, you just email me if you’re interested!
I’m trying to decide who is most clever – you and your post or all of your commentators. Very good read today! Good luck with your summer time project… Project Manager may need to be replaced over and over and over again.
Huh? Why would you wanna change perfection, Boss(y)?
{smooch*smooch**lipsmack!*}
Good luck! Lookin’ forward to seeing what you come up with.
I need to dust off my list! I’ve forgotten what’s even on it. I’m sure it involved crap and it’s removal from my house…
Katy
http://mynutvillage.com/
Find a student to do your website. Tell them it will look on thier resume when they go looking for a job, because it will.
Bwah! New reader here. You’re amazing. I’m sticking around.
You think you’ve got it bad? Just when I thought I’d be able to polish off the entire box of Cookie Crisp cereal, I ran out of milk, thereby ending my jaw workout at a measly three bowls. The trick is to eat them fast, while they’re still crunchy — you burn an extra 10 calories at least.
I need a project manager like that.
good job on your list! #1 on my list reads: make a to-do list, woman!! so you are multiple steps ahead of me
Send your project manager to my house for maximum results.
I love blogging. But I would LOOOOOOVVVVE blogging if it weren’t for all of the damn technology.
Too bad not all project managers were like yours. Here’s hoping that if you have too much of your project manager one day, he doesn’t give you a pounding headache the next!
I know this lady re-designed Pioneer Woman’s blog, as well as her own.http://www.ohmystinkinheck.com/
You might send her an email!
Um Hi. Loyal reader here. While I don’t normally work for free, I love Bossy so much I would be happy to do so. Please accept my humble offer to happily redesign IAmBossy.com for free. Love, Your favorite University of Baltimore Information Architect/Interactive Design Grad Student. Lots of Project Manager Yuengling Beer talking, but the me inside me is totally serious. (about the I love you Bossy Part.)
Stop being bossy about Bossy’s summer schedule. Relax. It is summer. It doesn’t have to get done.
Oh yeah, you got yourself a good project manager
Bossy, you are hilarious! i’ll definitely be coming back to see what else you have to say.
http://julochka.blogspot.com
I dream at night of a horizontal navigation menu.
But, my TypePad sister, that would mean we have to break down and do Advanced Templates. That means no more switching around our sidebars with a click and a drag.
What a drag, indeed. No way in hell. I’ll have a horizontal navigation menu and fun footers when TypePad makes it able to do in, say, two clicks.
Um, so, by the way, how are you? Hellooooo? I forgot to blog here lately. Or read blogs. Or have a computer.
But tonight? Oh, tonight I have a brand new laptop. With wireless internet. I am so damn fancy, I can’t stand it. And we now have cable. Damn. Someone call the police because I’m on fire!
BTW, yours is the first blog comment I’ve written on my fancy new laptop. And I’ve confused “comment” with “blog post.” Oops.