Aug 2, 2008
Instructions For Team Stella.
Thank you so much in advance for caring for our enormous lap pony while we sit in a trailer four states from home playing poker until the inevitable bullhorn of campground security.
You will find Stella very agreeable and easy to manage. But just for the sake of clarity, here is a list of helpful facts and suggestions:
- Her leash will always be hanging on the front closet doorknob. Unless it is in the family room, on the porch chair, or buried under the floorboards of Bossy’s car. Which is locked.
- Her chain collar is your friend and will help you control Stella if she encounters another dog. Or a rabbit, a person, a privacy hedge, or an odd shaped crack in the sidewalk.
Before positioning the choke chain around her neck, make sure it is in the shape of a P. This stands for Please sister mercy do not slip out of this choke chain.
- And speaking of her twice-daily walk, don’t forget before departing to grab a baggie for waste collection. Better yet, make it a plastic grocery bag or a green lawn bag, and while you’re at it make it two—or do you see that large backhoe at the end of the street? Secure it.
- Stella eats three cups of food twice a day. That’s six cups of food but don’t even think about administering it all at one time. Ever hear of Mount St. Helens? Now imagine it with fur.
Along with Stella’s food she will need a fresh supply of water. May Bossy suggest Lake Superior?
- Like any
control freakcreature of habit,BossyStella gets very anxious when her routine is broken. You will know Stella is anxious because she will lift her head before dropping it between the couch cushions.Adhering to routine means you may not feed her any food that is not the dry kibble to which she has grown accustomed. Included on the list of Things that are Off Limits are soup bones, chicken leftovers, pizza crusts, and raw hamburger laced with Cyanide.
Adhering to routine also means you may not decide it would be fun to bring your sister’s Yorkie over for a play date in, say, Bossy’s living room. Because Bossy likes her living room, that’s why.
Enjoy! And thank you.
I’m on team Stella!!
stella may be bigger than my greta(not by much)but I’m dumb enough to have two! Living room?what living room?every room is a freakin animal den
Stella’s going to be lonely! Stuff her in a box, add a couple rolls of stamps and mail her to us. She can play with Miss Puppy out in the yard. It’s already a mess so we don’t care what they do to it.
Dood. I totally wish I was Stella’s dog sitter. I sit many other dogs with my Shadow, they’d love each other. Both couch potatoes.
Aw, poor Stella, not getting to be a sardine.
Awwww. Will you need to secure the backhoe in order to move Stella out from behind the car?
Or will she be sobbing from the front window as you drive away?
Riley says Stella can come and stay with him next time. He is not sharing his tricuits though, and certainly not his hummus!
Can’t you just load Stella up like a wagontrain packmule and have her trample along side the Saturn? She could totally keep up.
Those damn cracks in the sidewalk. They get us every time.
Ohhhh… you are soooo making me heartsick for my Cosmo , Bossy!!! Stella is gorgeous – and a typical Dane (man, those land mines are something else … they should warm potential owners when they buy an adorable Dane pupy that they will have poops bigger than the human variety!!).
In order to recover from my heart twinges, I am forced to revisit pics of our cattledog puppies (http://bushbabe.blogspot.com/2008/05/awwww-alert.html) … but I still miss my Cozzie. Did I mention that Stella is just beautiful??
You are a cruel, cruel woman.
BB
PS Have a happy camping trip anyway (is there such a thing??)
Wow, that’s a lot of poop–I mean food.
Funny how that Saturn snuck into every single photo, trying to weasel her way into BOSSY’s affections. No wonder poor Stella is jealous.
Stella is beautiful. She sure does look like she’s trying to stop her family from leaving!
Hey, have you read The Art of Racing in the Rain. It’s a book that every dog lover should read.
oh stella. i’d take you in a second. you could use my pool… for your water bowl.
Stellllllllaaaaaaaaaaa!
True Story. Last conversation with my dad before he died. He called me from work and said the neighborhood Great Dane had pooped on his lawn and could I go get rid of it before the mailman stepped in it.
He called at noon and asked if I had gotten rid of the pile. I said “DAD! Was that a great Dane or a HORSE?”
We shared out last laugh together over Great Dane poop.
Oh, come on, Bossy! Why isn’t Stella going with you? Send her to me…we’d have a great time.
Seriously…I have 3 Maltese…but I only travel with 1. And, I only need a small baggie for him.
Camping? Not this gal…I need a hotel with a great restaurant…and lots of a/c. Good luck! Can’t wait to hear your after-report.
Leave the car and saddle up Stella.
Awwwww! You’re making me want to get a doggy! Except WITHOUT getting a doggy!
Now Madness wishes she was Bossys DOG. Bossy, will you PLEASE adopt Madness? PLEASE!?!
*Begging will continue untill Bossy is tucking Madness in at night*
Love,
Madness
i love that pic of stella whipping her head to the side. prell commercial, stella?
have a great time camping! last time i went, i took the dog and wore his doggy ass out. well hell, i was NOT the one who told him to run on the beach.
…and we thought we had it bad trying to find someone to look after a small, ancient cat who sleeps 20 hours a day…
We call our chain collar “Power Steering”.
Asia, our Great Dane wants Stella to come visit!
Have you ever thought of feeding Stella a species appropriate raw diet? You would certainly see a lot less poop and pee. You would also reap the benefits of clean teeth and no bad breath. Have you ever researched what dog food is made of? Check out http://www.homevet.com/petcare/foodbook.html
Really, it’s a great way to feed your dog. Would you eat McDonalds and cereal for every meal your whole life?
Liz
Good luck Team Stella!
Thank goodness my beagles take care of each other (except for the feeding part).
Why is Stella being shunned and excluded from this family adventure? I can never figure out why the best behaved, most loyal family member always gets left behind. Well, not always…but usually.
Right now I’m babysitting little JJ, whose family went on vacation without him!
Today’s post is brought to you by the word “anthropomorphize.”
I’d be glad to be on team Stella. One of the best dogs I ever had was a rescue Great Dane. My Cassie thought she was a lap dog. I had to get a leather lead because when I put her on a chain lead she would cower on her belly and not move. We figured someone had whipped on her with a chain, but when I put her on a leather lead she was such a lady… Let me know when Stella wants me to be there.
I hope you all have a great time.
Helen G.
I love the photo where her ear is blowing in the wind. She looks like such a delicate flower……
I love your dog! My boys would be in heaven if we went with that breed next summer (I’m gonna say a Great Dane and hope I’m correct). We’re leaning on the side of a German Shepard at this point in time. Have fun on your trip.
Is there a membership fee to join Team Stella?
Ah, is it just me, or does it look like Team Stella is a bit HTML code impaired?
Team Stella all the way. Send Stella to me so she can hang with my Stella!!
Ah now all looks right with the world. And Stella.
Must have been some web gremlins fooling around with my Internet protons earlier.
I’ll trade you instructions for team Lizzard the terrorist (err terrier)
1. Give prozac
2. give tranquilizer
3. if 1 and 2 don’t work, I’m sorry.
may i introduce my fawn Great Dane Loki to Stella?
he looks identical to Stella, except that his ears are cropped, he may be a bit bigger, and of course- he has additional equipment. 
He’s afraid of water, thunder storms, and cats (even though he won’t admit to that.)- and he loves to steal food from counter tops, trash cans and refrigerators that have been accidentally left open by nine-year-olds. also, he has some mad skillz in the puppy-eyes department, particularly when he’s been shoved off the bed, or when you have left him outside longer than 2.2 minutes to potty. in which case, he gets all passive aggressive on you and decides to dig a crater, or an underground tunnel, in the backyard- or he leaves you with a silent fart that burns all the hair in your nostrils. typical male.
awww if i didn’t live across the country, i would totally babysit stella! is her team color green?
She is a beauty – I had a great dane as a kid looked so much like Stella her name was Maxine. They are gentle giants with hearts bigger than them!!
Cheers
Cathy
Your Stella and my Stella would be best friends. For real. A Dane and a Jack… look out, world.
We, too, are big fans of the “P” chain collar. Our dog only weighs 103, but can pull you like a freight train if she gets away with it. Which she does not anymore, thanks to lots of training time and her bling collar. It has pink roping going through it and is quite the accessory. Stella is a dear and I’d babysit anytime.