Aug 17, 2009
Bossy’s Summer Romance
This past weekend, Bossy went to stay with her friend Eric Wendy Amy at her family’s beach house, and speaking of Amy’s family beach house, Bossy never revealed the correct answers to her Vacation Match Game Giveaway.
Anyway. There was Bossy this past weekend, at the beach, visiting with her friend Amy. Bossy just loves sitting in the sun, where sitting in the sun equals sleeping under a large canvas umbrella with towels covering every inch of Bossy’s exposed skin, which is already slathered with SPF 60.
“You are an 86-year-old woman,” Bossy’s friend Amy kept repeating, but Bossy couldn’t hear her because Bossy was too busy taking her afternoon heart pill.
So there was Bossy, sunbathing shadebathing, when all of the sudden Bossy’s friend Amy said, “Look, it’s the man of your dreams!”
Maybe it was the way he sat squarely in his shade, or the way his towel draped from his sensible trunks to the tips of his narrow white toes, but there he was, the man of Bossy’s dreams.
The next thing Bossy knew the man of her dreams was eating a boardwalk hot dog — and then another — while Bossy’s heart leapt out of her chest at the way he leaned over his patriotic beach towel so as to prevent errant crumbs:
Of course all of the excitement of the hot dog consumption required the readjustment of patriotic toweling around the delicate ankle area:
While the recently ingested meat slurry moved through her dream man’s pyloric sphincter, it proved time for the dutiful reapplication of sunblock:
And then Bossy’s hunk of burning love gah willing not burning settled in for a good book no doubt suggested by one of the gals down at the accounting office.
Lulled by her dream man’s complacency, Bossy chose this time to go up on the boardwalk and purchase her own mechanically recovered meat on a bun. But when she returned, she saw this:
Poor Bossy. Summer lovin’ happened so fast. The end.
–>Bossy, clean off your sandglasses, that is NO John Cusack!
http://www.WebSavyMom.com
So WHO won the contest?
I don’t know, I’m kinda liking the sunglasses on hat look…
It couldn’t have been the constant click of the camera shutter that drove him away?
A man after my own, over sunned as a youth, heart. I’d be sadder for your loss, but still laughing about ‘recently digested meat slurry’. You DO have a way with words.
He had me at the hat! If only he had some dressy lures and a matching fishing license draped upon his chapeau, he would have been the complete package.
He’s not even JOHN Travolta but “whoa, whoa those summmmmeeeeerrrrrrrrrr niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightssssssssssss!”
I just made a spectacle of myself, since I am reading this in a cafe and, while guffawing, coffee sputtered out of my mouth and nose. Thank you.
OMG too funny! I’ll laugh even harder if all of a sudden you get an email or comment from him or someone that knows him! He’s a man after my own heart also. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the sunscreen throughly on my own back and have a patch of lovely sunburn on my back.
He didn’t even stay out until 10:00 p.m.!
Yeah yeah, dream man. But did you get the number of the not-quite-as-covered-up hottie in the far right corner of the fourth photo? Please work on that, if you would.
Did he leave to hire a body guard or just fill out the restraining order paperwork?
You are so right about the delicacy of the ankle area! I once was so determined not to get burned that I wore a floppy hat and long-sleeved ankle-length dress to the beach – and was rewarded with a memento of the day in the form of ankles the color of lobsters and size of beach balls.
SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! Studmuffin incorporated!
the man of your ocd dreams. that truly was the best time ever! such the perfect weekend.
I’m sorry. I just couldn’t stand to go to the beach with a man like that. Afraid of the sun?? What was he, a vampire??
I DO THE SAME THING. Spf 70 under an umbrella. My husband is Mediterranean and refuses to wear sunscreen. He teases me about being a vampire. Opposities attract I guess.
I’m not sure I could deal with his choice of reading material. Doesn’t everybody know the rule is smut or trash on the beach.
I’m left wondering exactly why it is he went to the beach? He couldn’t have know in advance that he was going to be Bossy-stalked.
Finally, a man that wouldn’t mock me for my giant, floppy beach hat. Sun exposure+Irish=bad.
I see your SPF 60 and raise you SPF 100, under an umbrella made made of SPF 50, with a wide straw hat.
PS – I saw a woman at the beach who looked so much like you I almost went over to say hello. It was uncanny.
Poor unsuspecting beach boy.
FYI, I heard that after SPF 35, there really is no difference. So, purchasing SPF 50, 60, 25000 really doesn’t benefit any more than 35. (I suppose maybe I should research that before spreading potential lies online, eh?)
His mother would be proud.
If Grease is any guide, I’ll bet you return home to find he’s moved into your town and shopping at your co-op.
I bet he left to put aloe on his sunburn!
I like to think he was eating a soy dog because “meat slurry” is just gross.
He looks just like his long-lost sistah Surcie–covered ankles and all.
Sun worshipping in my teens/20s has come back to haunt me. Had some skin cancer removed from my nose last year — luckily the least harmful kind. But I will forever now be the pastey white woman. That guy would be a match for me!
Bossy- you had me crying with laughter…Summer lovin’ happened so fast….
My grandfather sports (rocks?) a very similar beach look. But with black shoes and socks, minimizing that ankle problem.
(Email me for his phone number and I’ll set you up.)
You crack me up… but what a sad ending! Hope you spot another summer love before the season is up!
My dream man can’t go out into the sun either.
Because it will actually kill him.
That and a wooden stake to the heart.
Any wonder why he sat alone?
The whole visiting the beach but not allowing a SINGLE RAY of SUNSHINE to touch one’s skin thing kinda mystifies me. Why not just wander around with your feet in the sand AT NIGHT?
Oh, that’s right. Bit hard to take STALKERISH photos of other non-sun-worshippers at night. Unless they are of the surfing vampire variety… hmmmm. Has Hollywood thought of that twist yet?
Bossy, you are a veritable font of inspiration for us all. You and your stalking Nikon…
BB
I think he was cute…
Bossy would you look at this: http://junebug-godputasmileuponmyface.blogspot.com/2009/08/last-king-of-scotland.html I hope you don’t mind the comparison.
If you don’t like it, tell me, and I will remove it.
Deadly sun reflecting page glare. He had to flee.
When words such as “hot dog, ” “readjustment, ” “sensitive areas,” and “errant” are used in close proximity, it is best for me to bite my tongue and leave well enough alone.
Did Bossy really just say “pyloric sphincter?”
Just checking.
It might have distracted me a tad bit from dreamy hotdog dude. A tad.
Two umbrellas? Really, TWO umbrellas and a hat?
He needed an umbrella perched down by his feet.
Why weren’t Bossy’s friends chaining him to that spot till Bossy returned? What the deuce are friends for, anyhoo?
Any why does Bossy refer to herself in the third person?
he’s hawt. where hawt equals not at all hot because sun who?
The back of his neck does look sunburned.
Well -a well-a well-a huh.
Tell me more tell me more, did you prevent sun blisters?
Tell me more tell me more , like does he have a sister?
Hawt.
The girls in Accounting said, “Honey, you’ve been indoors all summer. Have you even been to the beach yet?” He: “I just want to read my book and relax.” GiA: You can do that at the beach!”
And so he went. He gave it a shot.
It was lunchtime? Everyone knows those are the peak sun hours during which one can instantly contract cancer if one spents more than 90 seconds in the burning rays. That’s why he left. Natch.
I don’t have a dream man on the beach. I have a mirror.
That hurts my heart. If only you’d had a mouth-de-watering tartlette to offer him.
I am now officially retiring that tired tired grasp at common ground. Instead I will compliment you on your sense of style. I love that sensible beach-turban, with the reversible floral swimcap.
Gee, Bossy doesn’t get flack from her readers for posting pictures of people on the beach? Lucky Bossy.
http://blackbird17.blogspot.com/2009/07/wellfleet_09.html
Heidela thinks that boy was a little too young AND nebish-y for even Bossy.