Jun 14, 2010
A Very Bossy Exposé: Gas Grills
Who remembers Geraldo Rivera and his crazy-arse exposés, like the time he pried open Al Capone’s vault on live TV to find nothing but an old stop sign and a few empty gin bottles?
Well Bossy’s exposé is just like that, except it’s about gas grills. And while it’s true Bossy’s exposé doesn’t feature a vault, perhaps gin can be blamed?
Let’s get started.
The other day Bossy’s husband phoned Bossy and she answered! The end.
So there was Bossy answering her phone, and Bossy’s husband, on the other end, was saying something along the lines of, Our gas grill rusted like a ‘67 Chevy and soon it will explode so we need a new one and it costs $700 — black, espresso, or stainless?
This rusted through business made no sense to Bossy since the last time she checked, Bossy’s grill still looked exactly like this:
OK, Bossy admits maybe her grill looked more like this:
Bossy’s point is that only last week the grill was producing grilled shrimp — and suddenly it could only produce grilled grill? So Bossy made her husband prove it, because: $700. First Bossy’s husband showed her the underside of the lid:
Bossy could see the rusted bits, but frankly she was unimpressed. Until Bossy’s husband pointed out that the rusted bits were flaking off into the food:
Still, it seemed unlikely this was happening at the rate Bossy’s husband suggested. At which point Bossy’s husband said, Just look at the burners!
And Bossy did look at the burners, but all she saw was one little burnt section! Until Bossy’s husband pointed out those aren’t the burners, goof, those are the cooking grates! These are the burners:
Even then Bossy was all, How many burners does one man need, can’t one burner be collapsed? And that’s when Bossy’s husband showed her the splintered crossover tube which delivers gas between the burners:
And then Bossy’s husband showed Bossy the corroded igniter:
Yeah, so that sound you hear is the sound of a case being closed.
While Bossy’s husband is off somewhere obsessing over which color grill to purchase and whether that grill should have an additional side burner, Bossy wants you to know that your very own gas grill might be an explosive dressed as an appliance!
So check the underside of your grill’s lid, remove those cooking grates, and check the condition of your burners. The life you save could be Geraldo Rivera’s.
In other news, congratulations to Runnergirl who won the Kodak pocket video camera playing Bossy’s latest Match Game contest. For those still curious, Wendy broke her fingers goofing around her dorm, Eric broke his shoulder skiing, and Amy broke her wrist at a Huey Lewis concert.
Thanks to everyone for playing along!
Is Bossy’s dh looking at Webers? TOTALLY worth the $$. Good luck
Like the igniter ever worked anyway…
Last time I peeked under the hood of my gas grill…well, let’s just say I always remember to preheat it before I throw something on there.
http://www.the7msnranch.com/2009/09/top-chef-smooch-grills-up-her-favorite.html
Aside from the excessive lid rust, our grill has all the same problems. We just use a lighter to ignite…have for years…and it is totally fine. Though I admit I am ready for a new one, for now I will appreciate the contrast.
Our cheap-ass kettle charcoal grill is all rusted out, too. In fact, the legs on it just rusted right off, so it is now sitting on top of a flower pot. Trashy looking, but it still works so we still use it.
And that pretty much sums up our entire life.
And I thought my gas grill was in bad shape…Oh yeah, I don’t even have a gas grill. I don’t even have a yard.
gas, corroded lines, flaking rust….yikes.
Although charcoals are a bother to keep on hand, I just bought an old fashioned kettle Weber.
Of course if the rusted shards won’t kill you, the charcoal will.
Bossy, you look rather good with a moustache!
That looks just like our grill. Two years ago the back burner kind of imploded. So I just used the front two. Finally had the junk guys take it away. I’ll miss my kabobs with the special rust seasoning.
Thats the same Weber I have, I better check it out. I thought the food was excellent at your house a few weeks ago, but at least now I know what the crunchy pieces were
It looks like someone has been making crystal meth on your grill when you weren’t looking? I don’t know….quite the fire hazzard there,
We bought a Traeger Smoker Grill and LOVE it!!!! We grill 3-4 times a week all year — even during snowstorms! lol
Sounds to me like Mr. Bossy is orchestrating his own Father’s Day extraveganza. No shopping for Bossy!
Also – I just CANNOT watch Geraldo. The dichotomy between the The Hard News Story and the Porn Mustache makes my head explode.
Hey, what is Bossy doing on my patio, taking photographs of my grill?
That reminds me – I need to order 4 new cast-iron replacement burners, at something like $20 a pop. This doesn’t count the other replacement bracket I just bought to hold the burned-out burners (where burned-out burners is not code for hippies left over from the late 1960s).
Someone else with phone phobia? I thought I was the only one. Right now I’m dreading calling my sister to wish her happy birthday. I also have greeting card amnesia.
A parent from my kid’s preschool class was just pretty badly burned a couple of weeks ago when his propane grill exploded. He’s okay, but geez. Scary.
Yeehaw! I was totally right about who broke what where. This may be my only triumph of the day, so I had to draw attention to it.
We’re replacing all kinds of rusted innards in our not-at-all-old grill and I have to say, it ticks me off. I hope the pricier ones hold up better.
I learned a long time ago that hubby only cooks when we grill. We grill frequently! Our ignitor broke right away. Hubby called the store & complained. They sent a new one. He never installed it. A couple years later, we are still using a long handled lighter.
This is why we’re the only family in the suburbs who doesn’t own a grill! That and because the Mister traded our grill to our neighbor years ago in exchange for four (yes, only four) haircuts (the neighbor cuts our hair).
I made my hub buy me an $800 Weber grill a few years ago. Every grill he bought before that were made like crap. I love it and he is happy because I’m not complaining any longer
Buy a grill cover. It’ll add years to its life.
I have never owned a grill, and I am a little bit afraid of them, but I have decided that this is the summer to conquer that fear. While I’ve been coveting grills like the one your hubby wants, my price range is more like a 2 burner gas grill for 100.00 .
In Oz, these are just called barbecues. The grill is the bit with the bars, and the plate is the flat bit which doesn’t leave stripes on the food!
Yours looked stuffed, I have to say. No amount of oil seasoning makes crunchy rust bits okay in one’s barbecued offering!!
BB
PS Bossy looks surprisingly handsome in a moustache. Just sayin’.
Thanks again for the Pocket Video camera Bossy!!! Super Psyched to get it!!! And congrats on the new grill….you will love it! I have a gas grill which I absolutely needed last year…..and have yet to have anyone over to break it in. Hopefully this year…..when I do, I’ll video the event!!!!
You know, if you would marinate those grill bits for a few hours they wouldn’t be so tough.
If we want to grill we have to carry our food down the street to the community picnic area. Apartment dwellers aren’t allowed to have open flame. We need a George Forman.
Julie’s husband said they needed a new grill. Julie suggested a nice George Forman. Husband said Formans are emasculating. Julie said new grill not in budget. Husband found that cleaning spider nests from fuel tube area made old grill just like new. No longer emasculated.
Good heavens! How can Bossy’s anxiety stand having that grill in her yard? My Zoloft wouldn’t even touch that.
$700 for a grill??? What happened to the poverty party? I must assume that the Bossy family hit the lottery!
–>Does this mean Bossy’s husband is going to be grilling every night now?
I figured maybe he should clean the grill on occasion, but then I guess that whole leaky, cracky, and missing gas line thing totally sealed the deal. Nice investigative expose.