Jul 28, 2010
Look What Happened On The Way To Self-Help
This has been Bossy’s view for the last six days as she lounges lakeside in her bucolic Vermont campground where there isn’t anything remotely tick-like or poison-ivy-infested, hi Park Ranger!
When not lounging — or wrapping things in bacon — Bossy has been dedicating the enforced downtime with limited connectivity to reading this book:
Originally published in 1960, it is the granddaddy of the self help books which proclaim that a mind-body connection is the way to achieve personal goals. This is accomplished by visualization of positive outcomes and an adjustment of one’s self image. Even if Bossy can’t help but listen to the critic within when studying the graphics on her book’s jacket:
But get this: while Bossy was off awakening her automatic success mechanism and discovering her best self in the theater of her mind, an email was lying dormant in her inbox.
Who would like to venture a guess regarding the deadline? Oh yes, that’s right, it passed two days ago, without Bossy.
To recap: while Bossy was stressing her already injured tailbone sitting at a splintery picnic table the shape of a smile and watching sweaty men drink beer dressed as soda, all of Bossy’s blogger friends were off brokering their own Project Mom Casting entries and are no doubt this minute preparing for reality show greatness.
But Bossy will fight her negative imagination and dehypnotize herself from the false belief that she is two days too late — and in doing so she will describe what makes Bossy unique for the Project Mom Casting project:
Bossy is the wild-haired host of a virtual sitcom which examines everything under the sun and over the moon and includes dynamic characters such as her hot son and her lap pony and her rock star friends and a delightful one and a husband which may or may not be John Cusack.
And finally, Project Mom Casting requires that a photo accompany each entry:
Late, schmate! Go for it.
on the bright side, Bossy has a very cute tummy to look over as she lounges…
I can’t think of anything to say. The flatness of your stomach has left me speechless.
In my world deadlines are more of a suggestion! It would be their loss if they didn’t consider your “late” submission. Moms have lives after all!
Is there room in the sitcom for a quirky (yet, fabulous) gay? Because I know someone who would be perfect. No, David, it’s not you. Hint: It’s ME!
Here’s hoping they accept your late entry!
It’s a lot easier to make a mind-body connection with abs like Bossy’s. C’mon Project Mom, you can’t do better than Bossy. She brings the funny.
Of course they’ll accept it late!
–>Well, it could be worse. You could be late and 9 months from now have a different kind of gift.
With that belly button, you can be as late as you want!
hi daughter and that is one dreadful looking book cover and camping looks delicious and kiss my granddaughter and hopefully they will know what they’re doing and will select you…
AND..I keep looking at the flat-bellied sneeches with stars upon thars
as opposed to my
fat-bellied sneeches with scars upon thars….
Maybe a late entry puts you on the virtual “top of the pile.”
I agree with Kelly. Being a mom = being late. Or at least a lot of running around and yelling to make “on time” possible. And a gay best friend is a definite for a sitcom/reality show.
All the good comments are already taken:-~. “They” would be stupid to not consider Bossy a prime candidate! I’d be tempted to say that’ a point of camping vacations is to disconnect for a while.
Go. Bossy!
And come on, commenters…if so many more scores of us can weigh in on Bossy’s son’s facial hair query, surely we can pour forth the numbers to support our girl here in her quest!
And, Bossy’s Mom! Your second comment there? Guffaw!!!!!
Having met you in person now, and confirming you are darling and adorable and about 7 feet tall I cannot hate you for such a delightfully flat stomach even after carrying two children. You obviously do not have the garden gnome DNA I do. Sigh.
Don’t forget about bossy’s posse of philly bloggrrrlss!! Comic relief! Sidekicks! Bowling! Fried potato products! And way cuter than any of them raggedy ass housewives!
Surely the producers will know your loyal Council stretches from coast to coast? And they will already have the bonus footage of your No Book Tour to work with!
There is no reality without Bossy!
{choke me in the shallow water before I get too deep}
The project would not be complete without Bossy.
I think they need to come peruse the glory of iambossy.com! Oh reality tv casting people? Hello?
Also? There’s always http://www.realitytvcastingcall.com/.
I’m enjoying reading all the entries (yours is the best, of course) mostly because the whole thing is my worst nightmare.
Of course they’ll accept you late! The show hasn’t even started yet and you’re causing drama.
One word: RATINGS.
Did you get that book out of somebody’s garage sale junk box? Cause, honestly. (I agree with your graphics assessments, btw. Except the figure is a stalking alien rather than a model.)
If you get on the reality show of your dreams, I may have to finally get cable. Or wait for it to come out on netflix.
Nobody really gives a crap what a bunch of online moms have to say except for other online moms.
I demand a recount! And also full access to Bossy’s accessories if we are forced to live in a BIG BLOG BRUTHA house together.
Peace out.
I’m sorry, who else would they consider? This show is your show. This must just be a formality. go Bossy go
How could they not consider you? if a mom isn’t late then is she a real mom ?
They HAVE to put you on the show because I didn’t make it to the Houston leg of the No-Book Tour so my only option at seeing you “live” is on TV. Come on, producers, SURELY the date was a typo?
Were you like this in school, too? Always handing your homework assignments in two days late?
wait, is that really bossy’s belly “in the sun”? i’ve never seen one of your body parts in the sunlight…
Project mom would be sorely missing out if they didn’t cast the fabulousness that is Bossy.
P.S. – I said it when I met you and I’ll say it again: how is it fair that you are so darn tiny. Flat belly and I had a parting of ways long ago. But I miss her.
You must enter and you must bring your little momma too! (That Sneeches quote had me rolling!)
You do keep it real – which, may, unfortunately not work in your favor as there is NOTHING real about reality TV, but I am behind you 400%!!
Um, yeah, you’re bossy they’ll take you better late than never.
Go, Bossy, go! You’d be a riot. I hope they consider you!!
Bossy brings the funny! I’d even watch my first realty show EVER for her…. (oh lordisa who am I kidding, I love that America’s Next Top Model)
They have to take you. You’ll be the one who feels all entitled because your late submission was accepted and everyone else will be all bitter because they know THEY wouldn’t have been accepted late. And they all keep talking about Sehmiha, the native American mom that they all bonded with the day before who was kicked out to make room for you… but slowly, overtime you’ll win them all over with your obvious charm… even Sehmiha, who will be present in the mom’s tell all segment before the winner is announced.
So yeah, they have to let you in.
If the show has Sehmiha in the tell-all as WELL as Bossy and BossysMom, then I’m definitely watching it.
I like your view… and hey, every day is reality; who needs TV?
Should Bossy’s council petition Project Mom to consider her late application?
i’m still working out the whole flat belly thing. did you birth children through your nostrils? (seriously, yay for you! it gives me hope…)
Amy, I am sure she slathered on factor 1000 before exposing herself to the suns rays.