Jul 26, 2011
Greetings From Camp Bossy
Hello fellow campers! And welcome to another year of What were we thinking? Don’t get Bossy wrong, it’s not that Bossy’s ten days in a rural campground in bucolic Vermont isn’t peaceful and fun — it’s just in terms of a relaxing vacation, this trip puts the sure in leisure.
Shall we take a tour of the Bossy Compound? It’ll just take a second. And about that: oy.
You are looking at the Bossy family campsite located inside the greatest state park that ever lived hello Bossy’s own personal Park Ranger Who Looks Like David Letterman! Once again the Bossy family opted to rent a pop-up trailer instead of utilize their tent, having decided a few years ago it makes a big difference to sleep elevated off the ground.
To the left of the pop-up trailer is the Bossy family screen house, which covers a wooden picnic table and bench, and is where the family convenes for all of their delicious meals and their engaging games and their diverse reading and all of their arguing about those meals and games and reading.
Shall we take a closer look at how things work at Camp Bossy?
You are looking at the inside of the pop-up trailer, which is actually too small to capture in a single photo. It’s kind of like trying to take a photo of the dime you are standing on. In any case, there are two double-bed bunks on either side of the main living space.
In the center of the main living space is a table and built-in bench which also doubles as a bed and maybe other things such as an outpost space station but so far its only use is to contain Bossy’s daughter who sits there reading The Pioneer Woman’s book about her romance with Marlboro Man and saying things like Oh my gah mom this is the best book ever written and isn’t she lucky she wrote a successful book that’s being made into a movie starring Reese Witherspoon? while Bossy nods and zips the trailer windows open and closed for the tenth time that hour against unpredictable lake rainfall and calculates how early is too early to begin drinking without drawing the suspicion of Alcoholic’s Anonymous.
Next we have Bossy’s bunk:
The sleeping bags obscure a double-bed size bunk which is outfitted with a piece of memory foam — where memory in this case means Bossy can’t remember the last time her back hurt this bad from a bed.
In terms of the sleeping arrangements, that’s Bossy’s Unhusband’s sleeping bag in Bossy’s bunk. Oddly enough, these are the smallest bunks the Bossy family has ever experienced, as the usual bunk for the Bossy family rentals has been King sized. But who cares about the close quarters! Lucky thing Bossy and her husband aren’t in the middle of an Undivorce! Oh, wait.
But where were we? Oh yes, up next is the Bossy family screen house:
As Bossy mentioned, the screen house is the hub of the Bossy family camping experience. You may be surprised to learn the screen house features many of the conveniences of home, such as a pantry and wine cellar:
The screen house also features the many organized cupboards and shelves associated with the storage of dry goods and cook wear:
Of course what hub of activity would be complete without a large table for shared meals and games and discussions:
And how does Bossy produce these shared meals you may not be asking but since Bossy took lots of photos she will tell you anyway. Bossy has a stove and sink, of course!
And of course, what vacation experience would be complete without a refrigerator!
There’s lots more Bossy wants to share with you about her camping experience, since she’ll be here for a span of time just shy of a millennium wrapped inside eternity, so please stay tuned!
And a wee bit of your patience is appreciated while Bossy’s packets of web information are carried from her overheating computer to yours courtesy of internet protocols. On the back of a Vermont tortoise.
Oh my, I’m truly not trying to make you feel bad, but this certainly sounds like the vacation from hell. I’m so glad we don’t travel. Good luck!
Dear Bossy,
KM has a rule.
The closest thing to camping she will do is a Residence Inn.
The End
Oh, Bossy, this is why I left the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, because Camping = Hell.
I love camping, and I love Bossy. Especially this Bossy, when she’s camping and her tongue is in her cheek and her eyes are rolling up towards the sky. LLLLLLLLLLOVEEEEEEEEEE
Nevermind the camping part – I can’t get past the part where your unhusband is DATING? And who is sister girlfriend? Do I need to cut a bitch?
–>I told my husband when we were dating, I Do Not Camp. Our friends bought a RV and now I’ll go “camping” which means running water and A/C.
THIS is how we survived Hurricane Isabel in 2003.
http://www.websavvymom.com/2009/06/flashback-friday-part-22-hurricane.html
The Bossy family looks like they’ve got this camping thing down to a science. The last time we went camping, the Cactus family awoke at 5 am to a torrential downpour, air mattresses afloat in a sea of mud, (but rapidly deflating) and raccoons rummaging through the car looking for granola bars. We packed up grumbling, wet and comatose teenagers, drove three hours from the mountains to the desert and holed up in a nice hotel with a pool for the rest of our vacation…and lived to tell the tale.
Here’s wishing the Bossy family sunshine and good wine for the remainder of your adventure!
Camping equals 50,000 years of evolution shot straight to hell. Oh? Is that just my definition?
Thanks for outing the Pioneer Woman movie. Read about in in New Yorker but Ree is still mum on the subject.
Well I’m in love with a man
Who loves to camp
He camps when it’s sunny
He camps when it’s damp
All he needs is a tent
A sleeping roll
A package of hot dogs
And a sack of charcoal
He camps in the desert
He camps in the snow
He says baby come with me
I say no.
…..Christine Lavin, “Camping”
That looks so fun. I think I will try it, as soon as every single hotel in the entire world burns down.
When I was the same age as Bossy’s daughter, went camping with cousin and her father and his wife and much younger half brother. Pop up camper. I thought it was the most wonderful thing ever invented. State park provided a bath house with showers and such. I can remember three different long weekend trips. Arrived on Thursday, beating the crowd.
Way better than tent camping.
Camping = NEVER! But you have fun Bossy!
thank you for reminding me how much I hate camping. plus, where is bossy’s booze?
I too, watch the clock to slip the AA cloak of guilt. Never really works. Happy s’mores to the BOSSY family!
Camping = DRINKING WHENEVER THE HELL YOU FEEL LIKE IT. Including – Morning Coffee? BAILEYS.
That sounds SOOOPER relaxing where relaxing equals Oh My Hell, No. Every time I think of taking the girls camping, I read something like this and think-Oh, My Hell, No. Plus, it’s a grillion degrees outside.
My husband REFUSES to camp. He indulged me once about 30 years ago and said NEVER AGAIN.
Can you believe my parents used to do the pop-up thing with 4 kids?
Camping includes two of my most revered and beloved things: Park Rangers and Zip Locks.
Where’s Stella and Baby David? Love the Bossy Family Pets.
Camping? shudder, nature makes me break out in hives.
This looks like my kind of camping … outside, but with lots of conveniences. Now I want to rent a pop-up camper and a screen tent! I love your blog … your style of writing just hits my funny bone and makes me smile!
Kitchen and bath currently torn up. Cooking on the grill, washing dishes in teeny bar sink in basement, have to use “facilities” on a different floor. This is what I consider camping!
The closest I get to “camping” is two nights at my aunt’s brand new cabin she built on the ridge above the farm that used to be my grandma’s but is now inhabited by a very nice family. The cabin is one of those prefab log ones, which nice Mennonite men hauled all the way up to the top of the ridge and assembled. Then she pimped it with a deck and a sunporch and a generator that works to fill the water tank and HEAT the water for HOT SHOWERS! And there’s a small propane fridge that is always on and an indoor, composting toilet and an Ikea kitchen and, well, it isn’t very rustic, but there’s no wifi and you really can’t watch the TV without running the generator, so instead we commune with nature around the fire pit where we make mountain pies and smores and I love it – but I am NO CAMPER.
I’m not much of a camper, but seeing the pics of your past and current camping vacations makes me really want to try it. It just looks so peaceful. I’d have to get the pop up with the king-sized bed though. Enjoy your vacation!
P.S.: Is the unhusband with you?
I spent many summers at a campground in just such a situation (up to and including my father coming to visit while my parents were separated). As God is my witness, I will never go No Bathroom Camping again! Also, my husband refers to it as “your time in the trailer park”. He’s so funny. Dick.
I don’t get this… If you are trying to move on why keep doing everything as if your life was exactly the same…
Stop kidding yourself this is NOT good for the kids- it’s just confusing…
Yea, for us ‘roughing it’ is a Holiday Inn with no room service. But it is interesting to read about people who vacation like you do. Thanks Bossy!
The annual camping trip always amuses me. We went once when the kids were smail and that was the end of our outdoor life in a tent.
Good thing you are in Vermont, because I just saw on tv there is a moutain lion in Ct. They couldn’t belive it had made such a long journey.
Bossy,
AA can’t see you on vacation. Right?
When Olivia looked at this post she thought that somehow Bossy had had gotten hold of Olivia’s family photos.
I have been wondering how the camping was going! I endure the camping as mom because I remember what it meant to me as child. And truly, I do love to be outside. It’s the sleeping (or lack therof) that does me in; I know you can feel me on that, Bossy!
Is this tinier than usual…it looks like a “tinkers”
Where is this in Vermont? What is the name of the campground? It looks right up our alley. I hate camping but am forced to go each year by my family and 2 other families who all think it is so much fun. I like that the other campers are not right on top of you. Had a miserable experience this past Memorial Day (never again on a holiday weekend) and we live very close to VT. Any info would be appreciated. And we will leave you alone although we are a fun bunch!
I was thinking exactly the same thing that Scottsdale Girl thought when reading this blog. While I grew up around Danish-Americans who waited until ‘the sun had set below the yard arm’ (remind me to google yard arm) before imbiibing, and thus I wait, camping is the one occasion where drinking is allowed starting at sunrise. Okay, maybe there are two occasions: the day after Senior Prom. Of course, that was decades ago.
Just like I remember from my family’s camping 40 years ago, complete with lifesaving “screen room” minus Coleman lantern hanging above the table and box of dominoes. but then at a campground in the UP I saw a bear tear through one from my tent 20 yards away. Now my kids and I go to koa. Btw, some of the above comments may not be totally supportive of our Bossy and her situation. a compliment I once received by a pediatric nurse “you’re the mom. Whatever you do is ok.”