Dec 15, 2008
Bossy’s Favorite Things.
Shopping for a Christmas Tree.
Bossy has a very small house, and so shopping for a Christmas tree means locating the skinniest 8′ tree available. Bossy is always into trees that have some space between the branches to allow for decoration — and if you want to know the truth, Bossy is into spindly old-fashioned trees that look like they are actually the tops of larger trees as seen in 1940s movies. Except these days you can’t find trees like that, because all of the trees are perfectly symmetrical Stepford Trees that have been produced on Christmas Tree Farms and sometimes fed preservatives so they no longer even smell like Christmas Trees.
Wait — is this the Favorite Things feature? Oops.
Never mind. One of Bossy’s favorite things is going with her family to adopt that year’s tree, because it usually requires much negotiation and hones the courtroom skills.
Bossys’s son and daughter always want a tree larger than the room can hold, and they have a practiced look of disgust when Bossy suggests the more spindly trees. Bossy’s husband likes to walk rows and rows ahead, suggesting trees that get instantly rejected, usually because they have The Wrong Kind Of Needles and don’t you remember those kind of needles stab you?
This year Bossy’s son was still at college when the family selected the tree, but Bossy’s daughter had his back and argued for a specimen with girth and height and no bare spots.