Sep 12, 2007
Simply Vera Vera Wang With An Extra Vera To Go.
Kohls joined the ranks of H&M and Target this month when the discount chain teamed with high-end fashion designer Vera Wang to launch her new mid-brow line, Simply Vera.
In a trend known as Mass-tige, designers aim to deliver prestige to the masses at an affordable cost. And Bossy can’t wait because she has never loves spending $48 for a bridal gown t-shirt. Let’s begin.
This first look is comprised of the Simply Vera Vera Wang Ruffle Blouse paired with the Simply Vera Vera Wang Pleated Pocket Skirt. Total cost? $122.
Next we have the Simply Vera Vera Wang Plaid Ruffle Top with decorative keyhole accent and tie closure. Orig $58.
Our next item is the Simply Vera Bossy is throwing up now Vera Wang Jacquard Bubble Skirt. Rod sold separately. Orig $98.
The Simply Vera Vera Wang line also features darling accessories, such as the following dip-dyed charmer:
And for those of you with bloody stump feet, Simply Vera Vera Wang is proud to offer the following toeless stockings:
But that’s not all. What outfit would be complete without the shoes, for instance Simply Vera Vera Wang’s Bisque Pumps. Orig. $69.99
And for the chillier months, how about Simply Vera Vera Wang’s Brie Leather Boots. Orig. $129.99. And guess what? Still $129.99.
I would throw all those back.
Except for the pumps. I would totally buy those.
And then completely not be able to wear them.
Peanut cheese?
Really?
Loves me the boots. Hates me just about all the rest of it. When, oh lawd when, will the bubble hem and the tunic top go out of fashion? Moi’s pear shape hasn’t been happy about it for over two seasons now.
Ugh. I was in there the other day and saw that collection. It ain’t pretty. It’s…frumpy. And looks ridiculous on the average person! And nothing was under $100! I did see one cute tweed skirt, happily snatched it up, turned over the price tag and…$109. OMFG.
The boots are cool. The rest I’d send to Goodwill. ‘Cept they wouldn’t want it either.
Oh Dear Lord…the Liberty Bell cozy. Too funny.
actually a fingerless-gloves-scarf isn’t a bad idea! i might have to knit myself one this winter. ha!
LOVE the Liberty Bell cozy!!!! Still rolling in laughter….
Ummmm … that bubble skirt has left me speechless. And a little sick to my stomach.
My daughtger and I will be fighting over the gloves. Without fingers. Because they are great for taking photos in the winter, especially if I have on a short-sleeve shirt and don’t want to wear a jacket. Ahem.
I agree with EVERYTHING you’ve written. …Well, I don’t know about peanut cheese, but as I scrolled down, I thought – but the boots aren’t bad – and you were there!!!
Besides socks for my husband, Kohl’s never, NEVER fails to disappoint me. I found a cute pair of shoes there in 2005, so I return for fresh punishment every few months – it can’t be as bad as I remember – but it is – consistently.
A marketing genius!
I clicked your link to the other “Simply Vera Wang” runway show and I see a white bowed chair cover has been converted to a poplin wrap top. Crafty!
Seriously? Why is faux pregnancy the look of the season? I look pregnant enough without help from my clothes, thank you very much.
I love Melted Peanut Cheese.
But, is it an extension of the line, and is Simply Vera Vera Wang Peanut Cheese? Can you get that in other colors?
That poor Liberty Bell! Whatever did she wear before Vera….
I will NEVAH get the bubble skirt. Is that flattering on anyone?
Vera, vera amusing!
Maybe the bubble skirt and the Liberty Bell cozy together! Now THAT would be slimming!
I didn’t know it could get better than that Libery Bell cozy… and then I saw the mauve option for the skirt. OMG. What a great laugh!
If you pair the liberty bell cozy with the bubble skirt…no, I can’t think about it.
Like the gloves, love the boots, have the skirt hanging in my kitchen.
Vera hates the poor.
There are also Vera Wang mattresses, they are quilted and sparkly. Which is great if you know, never use a mattress pad or sheets.
Denim bubble skirt. Denim. Bubble. Skirt.
All it needs is for it to be acid washed worn a brightly colored geometric Esprit sweater and a big ass clip on bow and it would be my favorite outfit from 6th grad.
I’m with you! I love the boots! Seriously a denim bubble skirt, bleecchh.
I love your graphics. They make the funny funnier.
Vera’s clothes? Not so much.
I don’t think even Minnie would wear those shoes. And the bubble skirt makes me think of puff pastry. I wonder what it would taste like baked around peanut cheese?
Vera Wang. How the hell did someone with that name get to be a couture designer anyway?
Here, here!
It looks like crap in the advert and IRL.
Do they not get that the thrifty may also not look and dress like models? I do love my designer skirt from Target, but I don’t think I’m making the trip to peanut cheesy Kohl’s for these items.
you are simply brilliant and the funniest person on earth!
NOW what am I supposed to wear to the prom Saturday night? Ugh!
Bossy is the last word in fashion advice.
Hilarious …
“Minnie Mouse called …” Hahahahahaha!!!
I read the shoe thing and I thought it said, “Bisque Pimps”.
I need help.
bossy is now and forever my fashion advisor.
(Really, really funny, G.)
I think I’d twist an ankle, fall into a manhole and die if I tried walking iin those boots.
I think the reason everyone is confused is they think this is the Vera who does the couture bridal gowns. Actually, these clothes are designed by Vera, the waitress from “Alice”. You’ll believe me when the “Kiss My Grits” skorts come out.
The “Liberty Bell Cosy” is my favourite. I want one, even though I don’t have a libery bell. I *am* roughly shaped like one though, but I don’t think I want to enhance that look any further.
Great post… faved it on StumbleUpon!
oh by the way, I just went to add you to my technorati list, and your button icon still faves the ‘typepad’ site. Just thought you’d want to know.
Bisque? Well, the design did look a bit strained…
i am bossy Tank Top orig. $15.99
You are way underpriced.
Bossy and all her commenting friends are just too funny. If I give a fashion show, will you all come and be commentators? I will serve peanut cheese. Be honest,now.
Wow – I saw you got mentioned on Gene Weingarten’s chat on the Washington Post online. Congrats!
She makes Vera Wang Mattresses too – they’re like $3,500.00 and located right next to the Jaqueline Smith mattress collection at Sleepy’s. I’m not making this shit up:
http://www.verawang.com/mattresses
Me thinks Vera’s needs to support her drug habit. Crack is whack!
Knitted beanies. Oh, gyah.
I was there today and saw the collection. It looked…frumpy. Frumpy and gray and boring. I wasn’t even motivated to pick up a single piece, but if I had and seen the prices? Nuh-UH.
And why is Every. Single. Shirt. in Kohl’s this season designed to hide an unplanned pregnancy? I know someone upthread mentioned it already, but it’s fricking *ridiculous*.
Bottom line, I always, always, end up going back to Target. Cute, cheap, and fashionable without being ridiculous. Well, usually.
When I say this Vera Wang line, I puked in my mouth a bit, but I do like those black boots.
As usual, you crack me up
SAW not say…sheesh
The liberty bell, the gathered curtains…priceless.
You crack me the hell up… keep it up… (I like Minnie Mouse’s shoes!! heheh)
Okay, I kinda liked the Liberty Bell cozy. I’m so Betsy Ross like that.
Kohl’s has good sales, though. And when the Vera is Simply Over, it will all go on sale. And then I will swoop in like a vulture, because the bridal-gown priced T-shirts? I have tried one on, and they are soft.
It’s a conspiracy.
Vera wants all the poor folk who live outside of Manhattan to look hideous.
She is saving the good stuff for the never too rich, never too thin, set.
I have a long standing boycott towards Kohl’s, so that saves me from the cheese smell and cleverly disguised ‘mass-tige’ clothing.
If I wanted to spend that much on ‘trendy’ clothes, I certainly would not do it at Kohls!
Did you know Vera Wang also has a line of mattresses?
She must be saving for retirement.
I’m sick as a dog and yet the “Vera Wang Jacquard Bubble Skirt” got me laughing so hard I’m WHEEZING now.
Available in mauve!
bwahahahahaha
Oh how I hated those bubble curtains THEN. I would NEVER wear it on my body. Geez.
Because I can’t afford real Vera Wang, I’ll just have to raid grandma’s closet for the first look.
I think I dressed my dog once with the second one, for a fancy dog dress contest.
I didn’t know my curtain was haute couture. Neither did I know redneck gloves are in style.
I’m such a fashion dummo.
Ugh. I wasn’t too thrilled by the Madonna collection at H&M either. For crying out loud, how can anyone take anyone in track suits seriously?
Send me a catalog puh-lease…. but only if you do the descriptions!
What the hell is Peanut cheese?
Hilarious! Students are walking by my office wondering why I’m in here alone..laughing my ass off.
We happen to have a Kohl’s where I live, but I have a philosophical problem with stores that use flourescent lighting. Can’t they just put in some track lighting?
I may have to return to verify if mine indeed has the same unique smell.
Thanks for saving me a trip to the peanut cheese store.
Where my friend do you find all this??
I love the original price and that they are still the same price!!
All good points, but I think the Bubble Skirt alone could be its own post. Read the details and weep:
Floral jacquard pattern flows with ladylike attitude.
Bubble cut, pleated accents and gathered detailing around the hem add a fabulous, full look.
Hidden side zipper provides easy wear.
The words “jacquard” and “ladylike attitude” have a definite AARP ring. It sounds like something Barbara Bush might wear.
And what woman wants “a fabulous, full look” from the waist down?
Last but not least, since when is a hidden zipper in a slightly deflated hindenberg-sized punching balloon needed to “provide easy wear”? You could store the contents of a 22″ carry-on suitcase in the hem!!!
Seriously, this is material for a month of laughter at Vera’s expense. I could feel sorry for her if it wasn’t so damn expensive! At $68 (on sale, no less) I think she is getting the last laugh.
LOVE your site, BTW!
I’m sorta glad I can’t afford new clothes this year.
Oh my – melted peanut cheese was the best thing on the page…seriously!
Those bisque pumps look a lot like the ones Bossy’s grandma Bert is wearing in the picture where she’s posing by the racecar.
It is obvious that the hat she’s wearing is not a Vera Wang.