Sep 14, 2007
Bossy’s Homage To Fashion Models.
Hello everyone and welcome to New York Fashion Week. Today we feature an exciting new designer who goes by the name Anorexia. She’s been a part of the fashion industry for decades but has experienced an exciting rise in popularity over the last few years. Frankly Anorexia’s all the rage.
So sit back and enjoy her latest efforts: The Holocaust Collection.
First up is this sexy bathing suit made of woven hair and spliced molars.
Next we have the bed sheet wrap and – cute shoes! What a clever repurposing of rope tether, Anorexia – brava!
Next is this little number for the boudoir. The silky fabric will make you slip right off your barrack bunk!
And here we have the chic umbrella dress. The perfect ensemble to accompany you into the showers. Oops – that’s not water coming out of those pipes! Lighten up, folks. Just a little New York Fashion Week humor.
Next up is our flirty cocktail dress. This is the length this year, you fashionistas! Not quite a mini, but short enough to show off your hobbled knees.
And last but not least we have this cute little jumper accentuated with
hand-stitched silver fillings.
Sir? Can you sit down in front, sir? I assure you the model will be fine. In fact she just whispered to the stage crew, “I’m so hungry I could eat half a sandwich!”
Oh my god, this is so funny. You are a brilliant writer.
I love the hobbled knees comment….
Or a cancer patient.
Seriously, they look so gross. I don’t’ think they realize it. I am not usually into the “People Magazine” scene, but I cannot help looking at pics of formerly-voluptuous models and actresses that now look like they’ve had three years of chemo. Or bulimia. One of the two.
That just isn’t attractive. Don’t wanna see it. Ewwwww…
When was the last time one of these women menstruated?
Also, the clothes are really ugly. Your comments: dead on.
The designers create crap for the 5% of the population that can fit into and afford to look like a walking accessory (handbag, umbrella, lasso, etc.). The fashion industry is an outstanding example of a self-licking ice cream cone: They exist purely for their own satisfaction.
Is is just me?
They look like bobbleheads.
Don’t they?
Laughed ’til coffee came from my nose. Perhaps they wouldn’t look so pissed if they would EAT something! Oh, and who thinks that you can have boobs AND a 6 inch waist? WTF?
Oh Bossy, how I love thee. Brilliant post (per usual.)
You are golden! Thanks for the pick-me-up!
fresh from auschwitz, indeed.
ugh, i thought we were getting away from the death-on-a-stick look for a while there. didn’t the italians recently create a hubbub by seting a minimum bmi that a model had to attain before she could be in a show? we’re clearly not getting behind that idea anytime soon…
I wasn’t aware that the concentration camps had so much cocaine. Ick!
So. Hot.
I’m really glad I didn’t have that third gummy bear for breakfast this morning.
(On a side note – I have a lot of BOSSY entry catching up to do. Forgive me. I’ve developed an online Scrabble addiction.)
Ruth Dynamite can’t respond right now. Her mouth is full.
Oh. Dear. God.
I’m hungry just looking at them.
Must be because of there convenient little snack size.
Okay, so holocaust humor kinda freaks me out; however, if there ever was a time or set of images…. this is it.
Go Bossy!
I like the last model.
Clearly she graduated from the Paula Poundstone School of Posture.
SA
Okay.
That top model is absolutely the skinniest model I have ever seen.
How can a designer use her with a clear conscience?
Oh right. They don’t have one of those.
I need a plate of food.
Maybe if they shmooshed them all together we could get one real nice woman out of the lot.
I love the bathing suit. I’d really love to see a real person wear it! Yuck!
Ummm … that last one? Wow. That’s some serious nutrient deficiency going on there.
SEE?! This is why I thought Britney actually looked great at the VMA’s. She looked like a healthy woman! GAAAA! The fashion industry’s take on beauty is so emaciated!
(Tee-hee, I couldn’t avoid that pun.)
I’m actually with Howard on this one. Those women look sickly, not sexy. I gotta have me some curves. It reminds me of a joke that a skinny female comic made on LCS a while back: She said that her boyfriend told her that having sex with her was “like banging a bag of coat hangers.”
You are my new blog crush. Ever since you visited my blog I’ve been stealing away to read you and yeah…I likes.
Gotta agree with Howard up there. Britney looked GOOD compared to these girls.
O my gawd. Blerk!
The last model feels how I look.
Or looks how I feel.
With an extra few tons of cellulite that is.
Maybe we can force feed them cellulite sandwiches?
And here I thought bossy couldn’t top yesterday’s offensive quotient. I love this blog.
Hilarious, as usual. By the way, I clicked on the link but a window came up that said “Access Forbidden.” Or maybe it was “Access Verboten.”
i hear for some models that their snack of choice is paper dipped in salsa. 0 calories and recycling to boot!
I assume the complementary make up would be Khmer Rouge.
They should just hang thier stinkin’ clothes on giant paperclips with wigs. It’s be cheaper.
What in the world are the designers thinking??? Does seeing a girl who is starving to death, sulking down a runway make anyone think of buying clothes???
Bossy, nice presentation on some scary looking girls;)
What in the world are the designers thinking??? Does seeing a girl who is starving to death, sulking down a runway make anyone think of buying clothes???
Bossy, nice presentation on some scary looking girls;)
I LOVE YOU BOSSY. Oh my gawd. You are The True Snarkarina of Holy Shit That’s Funny.
Yikes! The whole lot of them barely weighs 80lbs.
i think i’ll go eat half a cow now…
oh and i know bossy doesn’t do meme’s, but i tagged you anyway
eeewww
WHO thinks that looks good? Really?
Bossy at least makes it funny.
Nothing witty, just unabashed idolatry for the genius of Bossy, stronger even than those models’ love for Ex Lax and Lucky Strikes.
Once again, right on. As sad as it is, your comments had me in hysterics. I just don’t get how anyone, especially people focused on the human figure, can find anorexia flattering in any way, shape or form.
Those heads… they can’t be real, they are mutant.
I love that last model. Lurching must be the new black this season.
I wonder if they’d fly away in a stiff wind?
The “mom” in me wants to strap them all to chairs and force feed them chocolate sundaes, cake, cookies and Big Macs. And then make them sit there and actually DIGEST the food.
Kind of ironic that on my screen there is an ad for Uncle Ben’s rice . . . helping to end hunger.
good lord, now that is skinny.
and i am going to go eat a slice of pizza.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Must get a Beth Ditto fix to remind me what a real woman looks like.
The forth one looks like a bat to me. I’m so mean, but all I want to do is force feed these women bacon cheeseburgers and milkshakes from In & Out.
The burrito I ate for lunch weighs more than any of those girls.
I’m scared. Hold me.
I totally just want to sit on them and force feed them peanut butter. And chocolate. but i’d squish them and they’d be dead.
uh-oh…plan B!
I love that last one. It was all work for her to get down that runway!
The umbrella ella ella girl looks like you can just push up those sticks and take her out on those rainy nights.
It reminds me of Miranda in “The Devil Wears Prada” saying to Anne Hathway “We took a chance on you. We hired the fat girl.”
As usual, you’re spot-On!
Thanks for being the News in the Know… or something like that.
that last image is still burning my retinas. gah!
You had me at “woven hair” and “spliced molars”.
Feed the models!
Maybe we can get some top recording artists to create a song and a “We Are the World” type tour to raise money and draw attention to the Fashion Famine?
I just happened upon this tonight….
Oh my goodness! What are they thinking? This is horrid. These poor girls are ill!
I am speechless.
I just happened upon this tonight….
Oh my goodness! What are they thinking? This is horrid. These poor girls are ill!
I am speechless.
I prefer Bulemias design’s. Her teeth look terrible but at least she’ll sit down and eat 3 gallons of ice cream with you.
It’s one of the rare incidents of Europe being ahead of New York after their recent ban on coat hanger model types.
Best wishes
I wonder how long until Kohls comes up with those knock-offs. I can’t live without that raincoat. Me and the flying nun.
Hey Bossy! I’ve been lurking for awhile (via P-dub) and love your site. This post is classic…that last girl really does look like she’s gonna fall over. Thanks for the constant entertainment! =)
Brilliant, Bossy. All you need is Roberto Begnini breaking out in song.
“And who wants to ride on an ironing board?
That ain’t no fun. I tried me one…”
–Frank Zappa
Thank the lord I am having me a sammich right now…
Bossy rules with a fist of humor!
But guys…that 4th model? She’s all hunched over to hide the rather prominent camel toe.
Yes, nothing says female empowerment like making yourself look like a run over heroine addict. It spells “classy” in my book. YUCK!
It’s just grooooosssssss.
I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was at a wedding Saturday night and was talking to a relative who just returned from Fashion Week. He said the models are thinner in person.