Nov 20, 2007
Join The Ranks Of The Nearly Deceased.
Dear Martha Stewart,
As Bossy was thumbing through one of your magazines the other day, she couldn’t help but notice the many advertisements with one common theme.
Which begs the question: Just what exactly are you trying to say about your Reader Demographic?
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Love, Bossy
Martha would eat that. But, she made it with her own organic, free-range chickens that she raised on her own farm. Then she grew her own veggies, and made her egg noodles from scratch.
Clearly their reader demographic is the 45 year old male who loves beer and football. No?
Nearly deceased demographics? Oh bossy, you crack me up, I choked and went nearly deceased.
I truly believe that Martha eat frozen dinners every night. That whole “perfect everything” thing is an act.
I *heart* Andie McDowell.
Hey, looks like I should start buying Martha Stewart’s rag.
I am glad that we are finally talking about the important issues of crows feet and laugh lines. For too long we have been worried about trivial matters.
Gotta love that #8, just quit smoking and you don’t need the rest of it?
Hmmm… the demographic of very, very wrinkled?
I was so hoping there would be a Jean Nate’ add.
I wonder if Martha customized her mother’s coffin. Tripped-out coffins could be a cool trend.
I must admit … Those Campbell’s recipes always creep me the fuck out. I mean, what is with those recipes? Shouldn’t those be in magazines for prison cooks or something? They don’t belong anywhere else, especially in MSL.
Dude, Martha doesn’t cook her own anything, she has someone cook it for her. She MAY give herself her own Botox injections, tho.
Okay, I want you to compare and contrast that with Rachael Ray’s mag now.
The demographic of women with alligator skin and no cooking skills?
What? No deoderant or feminine products? I’m disappointed.
That would be deodorant. Sheesh.
Thanks for reminding me of why I only read this magazine at the doctor’s office.
I seriously resent those ads. No way am I going to quit smoking to reduce my wrinkles! I am working really really hard for those!
It might be age, I really think the advertisers have researcher her readers and found while they vary in gender, race and age, they are similar in that their condescending, smug facial expressions have given them a pucker mouth that resembles an anus, and beady scornful ages are surrounded by rat’s whiskers. Plus, they are dry. Dry, dry, dry. Ergo, the ads for lotion.
The cheesy pasta hotdish? Martha learned that in prison, along with how to make a tamale from a bag of fritos, a package of mayo and the filter from a cigarette.
The women in those ads are the same women on Whitey’s Express….AFTER their trip to Manhattan.
Momo Fali’s comment was hysterical.
I agree with Janice. That’s where you picked up the copy, isn’t it?
Yes, what is Bossy reading a magazine like that for? Oh, I know, research for teaching us. Thanks for suffering through that.
Wrinkles come from children.
Wrinkles go away with mind-blowing orgasms.
Martha doesn’t have enough of either group in her life. Frozen face.
I actually bought that Strivectin shit; $153 down the drain. Botox is just so much easier.
It appears Martha is writing her magazine just for me: a middle age woman who has a lot of wrinkles and designs her dinners around Campbell’s soup. What’s your point, Bossy?
Hey, Deb on the Rocks up there, I resent that. I am getting the pucker mouth (ugh) but I think it comes from all that kissing I have done over my lifetime, not from being all churchladyish.
Well you know Bossy, we all need a bit of help and we can’t all have a professional editor like Martha who photoshops every wrinkle out of existance!
i don’t recall seeing botox and plastic surgery ads in there. clearly, they forgot to advertise that. how about, just a plain old ski mask ad. then, there is nothing to worry about. it cuts down on cost…only one thing to buy.
going to destroy all my martha stewart magazines now…
Wrinkles are a harbinger of impending death, don’t ya know?
We’re old, wrinkled, read MSL and can’t cook worth a damn if it doesn’t have very basic ingredients.
Martha Stewart was created to make the rest of us feel wrinkled and uninspired. Though I have to say, she should probably figure out a new hair style before she gives any moisturizing/fashion/cooking advice.
muahahahahahaha!!
Oh, I’m feeling SO good about myself now. I don’t read Martha so that must mean I’m too young. Ha!
Look at it this way, Bossy: at least they’re not making you paranoid about the flow of blood to your genitals. That’s how they get the guys.
Oh Bossy. You are in the trouble now. I read your show at work, and laugh too loud now. Now they ask me leave.
Shame on Bossy.
I don’t know about you, but I get some serious worry lines when reading Martha Stewart. How will I ever live up when I have Campbell’s Soup in my pantry, fer chrissake?
just don’t mix up any of your fancy lotions with your casserole- very unspecial family time!
Martha does not acknowledge wrinkles. Unless they are in a tasty casserole….
I just gotta wonder what all those companies think about their competitors being in the same magazine… Unless some poor sap is out there waging chemical warfare on her face. Oh my!
Dammit. Once again I didn’t get here in time to make a clever comment that hadn’t been thought of by somebody else.
*sulks*
I’m with you, Bridget. Don’t you just hate it when everyone picks your brain and plagerizes your thoughts before you get a chance to post?
And then there are those that have the audacity to spell your name wrong! Sorry, Briget.
I’m confused about the #1 pic — is she 40, and looks it, or 50, pretending to be 40?
I think what Martha is telling us is that most older women have weak necks and must balance them sideways like on the edge of the page.
What’s worse: Reading Martha and constantly being told that you’re old and wrinkly OR reading Cosmopolitan or Allure and constantly being told that you’re fat?
I might have to stop reading magazines all together.
I’m with you Orangeblossoms. I can’t get excited about anything Martha has to say. I’m too busy thinking if I had as much money as she does I would find someone who could make my hair not look like it was cut by my neighbor in the trailer park.
Thanks for reminding me…I need to go check my wrinkles now:(
They don’t advertise the ONE TRUE BEAUTY SECRET that doesn’t promise, only delivers…. http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/product/sku__SI675COB I saw this in Sky Mall catalogue and thought of you! on the way home from my Thanksgiving festivites…(which because it included travel with two boys (10 y.o. and 5 y.o) from the east to the west coast and back to visit husband, consisted of my own preperation of SEVERAL non real live food items….and copious amounts of wine…
I’ll take one of each!
aging is evil. duh. even Martha Stewart knows that.