Jan 24, 2008
And Now For Today’s Advice According To The Farmer’s Almanac.
Except in the case of Bossy’s shower curtain, she’ll need a sponge dampened with vinegar, splashed with bleach, dipped in a beaker of Sulfuric Acid.
And while on the subject of Advice of The Day, which we barely are, but Bossy is hanging by a very thin thread: did you know there are certain days when it’s best to tackle certain activities? For instance maybe today is the best day to use the word certain twice in one sentence—good job Bossy!
According to the Farmer’s Almanac, the moon determines which days are best for accomplishing various tasks. That’s why the Farmer’s Almanac created an Astrological Timetable for each month of the year:
And there’s more:
And while we’re still avoiding the task of finding corporate Road Trip sponsors on the subject of The Farmer’s Almanac, who remembers this?
Well, readers reader? We’ve got snow:
Living in farming communities all of my life, I’m down with doing certain things according to astrology, but … pickling? I’m sorry, but sauerkraut tastes like crap no matter when you make it. Unless it’s in a reuben.
Advice of the day: Just buy a new shower curtain.
Just looking at February and I see a trend – Feb 21 and 25 are the days to STOP doing things! Stop eating, stop peeing in diapers, stop smoking and stop drinking from mommy’s teats! Some folks are going to be busy if the are overweight smokers with toddlers and babies!!
When will I learn–stop by Bossy first for what concerns you. I was JUST wondering what the best days were for grafting and pollinating.
You know who the Farmer’s Almanac is made for? Ree! She’s the only person I “know” who needs to know on which day animal castration should occur! I’m just glad the only thing I’m supposed to do today is to begin that weight loss diet (though I wish it was a weight gain diet day…I really want cookies)
Does this thing apply to everywhere? Who in the northern hemisphere camps in January? Possibly around here we could camp by digging a cave in one of our mountain-sized piles of snow that are not going to melt until mid-March. No wonder the ultimate resting place of the almanac is on a hook in the outhouse.
Huh..thanks so much Bossy. I’m going to the dentist on the 28th..I wish I would have known when I made my appointment for today..darn!
dude
my gran swears by that
as her B I B L E
Gol durn it, Bossy, the 26th is Dentist day, not hair day. Get it right girl. (or is your dentist cutting your hair too?)
I was too busy using this day to harvest my above ground vegatables to really pay attention to anything else on the calendar.
Also? I advise BOSSY to just replace her shower curtain and save herself more time for grafting and pollinating.
Oh goodie! I haven’t missed the opportunity to “wean animals and children” this month!
I think I’m going about this all wrong. I’ve been setting my eggs in February.
God, it’s only January and I’ve screwed everything up already. Yeesh.
Darn daylight savings time. Is it time to set our clocks back to Little House on the Prairie already?
Gotta go untie the dog. No castration today, Maddie!
That is so helpful. I can now cross off sauerkraut from my “to-do” list for today in favor of another day.
Phew! Because making sauerkraut always makes me grumpy.
- so glad I’m taking the boys to the dentist on the right day.
I refuse to clean ANYTHING ANYWHERE with vinegar and water.
Got it?
Oh Sweet!!! I have four days left before I can start breeding my animals! Oh wait…they’re neutered. Never mind. But do those dates for breeding apply to humans too?
Your (and my) shower curtain are why God invented Tilex.
Who goes camping in January? Me, because I’m insane and for some idiotic reason, I agreed to it. I don’t even like winter, and when I camp I like to drink beer. But, who wants to pull their pants down and pee when it’s 15 degrees? Bossy, does the almanac say when it’s a good day to catheterize yourself? Maybe I’ll do that the same day as winter camping.
I want SNOW so bad!
Aww, Dublin, my mom grew up in Dublin, in what is now the general store.
Does the Farmer’s Almanac list best days to lay around eating toaster strudels?
Bossy, Martha is right out. You’re my main man.. woman.. running mate for the 2008 Jess/Bossy presidential campaign (I’m tempted to run for governor instead just so I can say Gubernatorial a lot. Goober, ha.)
I suppose it could make it easier if it did, though…
Now, just HOW are you supposed to breed the animals on the 29, 30, 31 when you castrated them on the 9th and 10th?
I’m with Cathy – when the shower curtain gets bad, it gets replaced. I like to blame it on allergies, not on being a slack housekeeper.
And OH! You lucky dogs! We had three chances for snow this past week, and in the immortal words of Yukon Cornelius (the dude in Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer), “Nothin!”
I have a brother who tries to gain weight. He’s one of those muscley types who thinks he’s going to atropy if he’s not in the gym lifting every day. He tells me the other day he’s been trying to gain six more pounds for weeks and has only gained four.
I’m like “You want me to hit you. Right?”
Dangit, I thought entertaining & sauerkraut making go hand in hand.
Forget that last invite I sent. Gotta figure out a new plan!
Thank god shower curtain liners are cheap because while I love pickled foods I DONT love cleaning anything with vinegar.
I am VERY glad to see that my anniversary falls on teh best day to breed animals…
Somebodies getting lucky!
I am so glad to see that I am not the only person who just throws away those gross shower curtain liners and buys a new one. You know you can get them at the dollar store, right? My time is worth more than a dollar! Just pitch that nasty thing and buy a half dozen of those dollar ones to stick in your linen closet!
January 11 is my birthday, and since I’ve been gaining weight steadily since 1978, I’m inclined to agree that it is a good day to gain weight. Why couldn’t I have been born on the 28th?
This is obviously a doctored photo. Where is the sign, and the bushes that surrounded it? Where did that tree come from? OH MY GOD! Dublin has been taken over by aliens, or Hollywood. What the pooh is going on here?
Actual conversation from Procrastinators Ranch on January 31st.
“Oh Sh*t Earl, we can’t breed them, we already castrated them!”
Clearly wedding planning falls nowhere in that book. So, bible-shmible. Let it be someone else’s guide. It’s clearly not for me!
Today is the best day of the month to eat birthday cake and go to the spa.
Which is what I’m going to do.
I’m sure the almanac mentions it somewhere.
Pollinate two days in a row? Someone is getting lucky (cue bow-chicka-bow music).
whew. i thought you were letting the castration pass w/out comment!
whew. i thought you were letting the castration pass w/out comment!
Those Farmers Almanac people are preeeety exciting, aren’t they!
Those Farmers Almanac people are preeeety exciting, aren’t they!
Which day should I start Potty training>? See , this is useful info!
And my shower curtain? I honestly throw them out when they need washing. Because a pressure washer wouldn’t get that gunk off.
Would the Farmers oppose using the same vinegar to wash the shower curtain and pickle? That seems to me most practical.
I don’t even bother cleaning the shower curtain. I just throw it out and buy a new one. Lazy but it works.
Has anyone ever mentioned to you that that picture of Dublin NH looks lust like the back of Philips Exeter Academy in Exeter, NH?
Just checking, it’s kind of freaky.
Damn, and I was totally going to castrate some animals tomorrow in celebration of my birthday.
In my house, it is just easier to throw the dang shower curtain away…they are cheap…ha ha!
I’m sorry, my mind wandered for a moment. Did you specify balsamic vinegar?
Kindly let me know which day I should be potty-training. Clearly, my failure to consult the stars has been the reason for all the carpet stains.
They make saurkraut at all the best parties in our neck of the woods which makes me glad that I am agorophobic. Since cabbage is an aboveground vegetable, it would be well on it’s way to turning itself in sauerkraut by the 30th.
Er…wait. People clean their shower curtains?
Well, yesterday I pruned my hips to discourage growth. Yee haw, perfect timing! As always, Bossy’s got the great info!
You can’t be too careful with those Almanacs, they should have a healthy warning attached.
Cheers
Did the almanac specify the best day to go to the dollar store to buy half a dozen shower curtain liners? Because I am SO pumped.
Awaiting your answer. As I begin diet to lose weight.
i totally didn’t realize the farmers were astrologists. weird.
I see that the best day to begin losing weights is January 1. So we can blame all those farmers for all of our failed New Year’s resolutions.
I need to know the best days to BITE PEOPLE. What? I’m cranky!
Let me just say, January is a happy month for the animals.
Don’t let my husband get ahold of that thing. He’d be devastated to know the animals are making out so much better than he is.
Men are the only creatures who diet to gain weight. They diet, and lift weights and drink powdered protein drinks that smell like vanilla. They spend entirely too much time at the gym. I have dated two of these creatures, I think I deserve a medal.
Today I threw out my shower curtain and hung a new one. And I got my hair cut. Totally blew the diet-to-lose weight thing. Clearly, my crops are screwed.
When I checked the almanac, I didn’t see anything about it being a good day for having the Cramps from Hell, but apparently it was that, too!
That was funny. I can’t even think of anything clever to write because I am still laughing. My favorite was the date to start logging which I will write on my calendar.
Yay for snow!
I am so glad that sauerkraut marketing doesn’t conflict with entertaining. I’m not sure which I would pick. Thank you Farmer’s Almanac for prohibiting such an injustice.
Am I the only freak who washes her shower curtain in the washing machine (and hangs it to dry)?
Of course, I bought a new car once because I needed tires, so I really have no point to make.
Just wonderin’.
my uncle-in-law would only plant on the full moon and butcher on the new moon (or vice versa). i have to admit, the meat he raised always tasted fabulous. however, i think it had more to do with the fact that they lived happy animals lives up to when they were killed rather than being forced to fatten up in a feed lot or something like that.
So, if I go camping on the 5th and 6th and it’s 0 degrees, then I WON’T freeze?
I have been very successful on my diet to gain weight.
What you need, Bossy, is the MACHINE WASHABLE, mildew-resistant, “Hotel Shower Curtain” from Restoration Hardware. Granted, you’ll pay $15 or so, but isn’t it worth it for not having to be afraid to let your bare skin touch the shower curtain? We use ours as a liner; we have a pretty cloth one on the outside. These things are great. I honestly can’t remember the last time that either a) the shower curtain was really nasty or b) I had to replace or wash one by hand. Get it online at http://www.restorationhardware.com.
So I already missed my window for a vasectomy. I guess I’ll reschedule.
Dude I totally starting my fiet to lose weight today, the 24th. What a kawinkydink. And of course by diet to lose weight I mean buy pills that promise I can eat whatever I want while still shedding the pounds. KAACHING!
shoot, I’m entertaining tomorrow on dentist day and I started my diet on entertaining day. I’m all messed up, aren’t I. Stupid farmers.
Who diets to gain weight? A lanky 14-year-old basketball player who’s tired of sweating the bench.
What does the almanac say about giving birth on the 31st?
What’s a shower curtain?
And where can I get new floorboards for my bathroom?
I remember that last picture-wasn’t that in Vermont?? Anyway, I always throw my shower curtain liner in the wash w/the white on hot/cold w/laundry soap and a splash of bleach. I even throw it in the dryer, YES, the dryer, for about 5 minutes. It gets the wrinkles out-it works great!
Hiya,
I found your site a few days ago and i love it! How long do you spend creating your posts!
Thanks for entertaining me
xxxxx
(Is this going to be a double, ’cause something happened to the other one I wrote…oh well….)
So…as I am too lazy to read all the other comments and I am waaay at the bottom, maybe someone thought of this already…but…
Why not just combine that shower curtain washing job WITH the sauerkraut / pickle making (vinegar!!!) and then you’d have time for something else…like reading when to prune your fruit trees, or something!
(You make me laugh, Bossy!! Thanks so much!!)
Um, I diet to gain weight.
You still love me, though, don’t you?
Umm yeah about that Picture. You will see snow there until at least March. Maybe even april! OH LOOK there is a car at the police station!
We like to do all our castrations and graftings on the same day.
We take our peer marriage and equality in the bedroom very seriously at Chateau Halushki.
This month is my month to wear the boxers and to pee standing up.
I find it funny that they think potty training is best achieved in a spread of 2 or 3 days. Were going on MONTH 8 over here!
We used to get ours for free at the little general store here. Man I’m freakin’ old!
Bossy must now become the official Farmer’s Almanac Reviewer Displayer person for the world that does not own a copy. We started potty training on the 24th of January, which was ’said Potty Training’ day of optimal chances. We are now on day 7 of the trainathon with only 2 potty accidents, outside of night time and pooping and I am starting to see the lights at the end of the tunnel. Oh wait, those are just sparklers carrying the poop train! Crap!