Feb 12, 2008
What Else But A Little Skin For The Crab Cake Primary?
Not only is today the Potamac Primary, but it’s time for this again. Yes, the 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue hits the newsstands today, and here is your behind-the-scenes preview:
This Is Everything You Want To Know About The Latest Photo Shoot But Were Too Smart To Ask.
Thanks Bossy! I am now ready to go out and buy my issue!
Just for shucks, can you superimpose that baby’s pacifier from the Huckabee post the other day on top of ALL these skeletons?
My hormonally challenged, Michelin Tire physique thanks you in advance.
I don’t know about you guys, but I look like these women EVERY DAY.
I like to drop my son off at his holy-rollin’ christian preschool in my itty-bitty yellow polka dot bikini AND Captain’s hat. The 4″ high heels can be a real bitch though, but hey, I’m a slave to fashion, what can I say?
OMG-I am dying……….Tennille! I just saw the cover photo-the model is wearing turquoise beads as a top. Me thinks I need some new boobs after seeing that, sheesh.
I like Bossy’s shot the best – at least your model has no pretenses of looking like a real woman. Aren’t these the same models from last year’s fashion week – http://www.iambossy.com/i_am_bossy/2007/09/bossys-homage-t.html?
You are too much!!! Tenielle,lol!
The thought of you sticking those little black pasties onto Barbie’s boobs makes me laugh. You should try to sell that pic to a gallery as “ironic post-feminist commentary” or something like that.
I think the horse is wondering “what the fook”?
I want to know what the fook you used to craft Barbie pasties? Duct tape? Electrical tape?
And, follow-up question: is one really required to wear pasties if one, in fact, has no nipples?
ha ha ha.
I love the bossy “inside editions”.
Joe has an itty bitty paint brush and would like to know where he can get a job as the body painter. Or at least Bossy’s Corona bottle holder.
Thanks for the laugh. Really love the black tape on your first photo. I think the models should do that too.
Im dying over these…classic commentary. Thanks for the laughs!!
You realize you drew balls on the woman/horse picture and created a giant penis, right?
At least, that’s what I thought you did.
-jeff
Hilarious. The horse does look confused…or drugged. The girl? Don’t you squeeze your arms in like that when you go riding horses in your flesh colored bikini? She looks like she is trying to reduce the bounce AND keep her hooter from getting banged by the saddle…right?
And, what about the Russian Fur hat? Does that go with a Russian Fur bikini? While swimming in the Arctic Ocean?
They asked me to join them, but I just couldn’t fit it in my schedule!!!
Good! Now I don’t have to buy it. Excellent Recap.
OH LORDY!! you are too funny bossy! lmao
It’s okay that she’s wearing that hat, because the Captain is her great-great Grandpa.
While Bossy was busy applying pasties, Barbie was sinking fast in quick sand..
Jeff’s extreme imagination should bar him forever from commenting on Bossy’s blog…or not.
I’d require about 20 of “hims” to get me looking right.
Teeheehee…I love the last one the best. Good one, crackah!
Unfortunately, I have “griddle girls” like Bossy and none of this works for me. What’s a flapjack queen to do? I’ve tried the dainty beach necklaces and no one was fooled.
Maybe if those girls would actually eat a few crab cakes. Send them on over — we’ll cook some up!
I love you for the Captain & Tennille reference.
i’m pretty sure i’d look EXACTLY like those women if i got rid of the protective layer of pudge i currently keep around. to.. protect me. yeah.
I love it you for the Capt and Tenille reference too.
My brother (who is ALL KINDS OF COOL) has worked on one of those shoots – he was probably the guy who held the reflector board thing.
Anyway, apparently, it IS ALL it’s cracked up to be.
That horse is definitely confused as am I. Is that seaweed hanging off from the horse? And I totally do that with my boobs whenever I ride a horse. It’s hawt.
Are those electrical tape pasties?
Feh, too many breasts. My brain switched into “idle” mode.
Are you sure that Official Hat holding guy was not Bossy’s husband?
I’m so glad I now know what to do with a chair in the middle of the rain forest. That question has been plaguing me for years!
It’s also good to see that I’m not the only woman who presses her breasts together with her arms while riding a horse…
I snorted and snorted the whole way through this post!
That Barbie kills me…hahahhahaa
Wow.
I had that many people on my recently posted video shoot, and all they could manage was a fleece sweatshirt and a hair clip. Not even any concealer. And what with the breastfeeding, my boobs actually are bigger than an A cup for once in my life. Curses!
And bikinis so need pockets. Where am I supposed to keep my Little Debbie cakes? Hmmmph!
This is totally how I remember Gilligan’s Island!
10 Reasons why Im not in that magazine:
1. If I wear make up at the beach, it melts off and I get racoon eyes from the mascara.
2. granny bottoms and plus size suits are not “in” THIS YEAR.
3. The sea air makes my hair flat
4. When I roll around in the water, I get sand in the crotch of my suit.
5. the dimples of my cellulite cause the light to reflect in such a way that is not condusive to photography.
6. My boobs are too saggy to hold up those skimpy tops.
7. I am afraid of horses.
8. c-section scars arent sexy.
9. they are trying to sell magazines
10. 1-9 would be moot if I was willing to do the heroin and cocain necessary to be skinny enough for the magazine.
Oh, I’m so relieved — that’s a PERSON in that chair in the rain forest! I thought someone had thrown out a bag of old chicken bones, and that one of the forest creatures might get them stuck in its craw.
I’m nothing if not an animal lover.
Nice electri-pasties. ’s what I use, too.
Always nice to be able to get the behind the scenes truth here!
Oooooh, Captain and Tenille – how cool was that (when I was still wearing braces and a training bra)… I don’t have the braces anymore.
The tassels for Barbie’s pasties are suspiciously absent.
you should definately quit your day job if you have one and enlighten someone to put you on the payroll just for being bossy!!!
Great! This post has made me feel like a million pounds…. of low-hanging flab… pass me the biscuits…
The feminist in me cannot stop rolling her eyes.
Your blog never ceases to make me laugh. Thanks for the fabulous swimsuit coverage!
Tenille was the A-Bomb of comedy.
So that’s where my old armchair went!
You know I have been meaning to get myself a see-through top for the beach, clearly they are SO in right now.
I wonder if they would enjoy this cookie I am eating as much as i do?
This made me laugh really hard. Thanks.
Barbie’s gonna get one heck of a waxing when those pasties come off…
What the fook? Jeff is right! It IS a giant penis..My eyes my eyes..I can’t stop looking at it with…My Eyes!
Just added to people to hire list:
Reflector holder man.
Seriously, what WERE those things tangled on her feet??
Question: Why do half of those girls look naked? I’m assuming because they are wearing flesh colored, semi-transparent bathing suits? Or maybe that’s just the style…
That Barbie photo was taken by a Sports Illustrated photographer. Bossy is only too happy to report at least one person on that crew maintains a bitchin’ sense of humor.
I always wash ashore in a see-through shirt. But that’s just me.
OMG- I hate to admit this, but I watch America’s Next Top Model. And I realized that it takes a village to make a woman look like that. I want a village too.
Bossy…you rock.
Thanks for a much needed laugh.
I’ve got to stop reading these right after the kids go to sleep. I just woke up the baby from laughing so loudly at the the last caption.
that reflector board?
soooo perfect with your new highlights.
Pockets…is that what I need in my swimsuit to contain my saddle bag thighs? Brilliant!
Have you seen the photo shoot with Will Ferrell and Heidi Klum?! HILARIOUS. I think it might be in the same issue. I read it on a rag site.
I fucking love Will Ferrell and I fucking love Heidi Klum.
I’d say the Captain wants his hat back if the girl can come along. Tenille, not so much.
Bossy, once again, you slay me.
I think I’m more likely to end up the older man holding the board than one of those girls.
If my suit has no pockets I just hook my thumbs under my armpits. Funny that no one on the beach ever wants to share my picnic….
i love bossy.
Man, Bossy…you were on a roll here!! Love it when you do that!! and I just love the “behind the scenes” comments…you rock!
Now I’m going to go and eat a bag of Oreos…for those poor models, you know.
Bossy’s post made me spit coffee out of my nose! You crack me up on a regular basis. Thanks for the chuckle.
Bossy you kill me!
The other girls used to want to push my skinny ass overboard. Ahh, those were the days.
Two husbands, three kids, and 20 years somehow changes EVERYdamnTHING.
That hat holder looks a whole lot like Bono.
What a shock to wake up during my sun-filled vacation in the Bahamas while on a shoot to find pictures of me posted on the internet!
You know, that girl with the thing, wearing the thing, on the thing? Yeah, that one is me.
Or maybe, I just dreamed it during a Sara Lee over-indulged fantasy. I swear, when I woke up this morning, I felt thin!
Then I rolled over, slumped out of bed, and everything FELL into place. I’m no longer thin.
I think I’m going to join the bag of Oreo cookie eaters in our quest to fatten those skeletons up.
What’s a girl to do?
Where have you been, o sweet one who makes me spit milk out of my nose? I will subscribe to your bossiness from now on!
Francie
FranticHomeCook.com