Feb 20, 2008
In Honor Of Fidel’s Resignation, Bossy Presents: Vintage Castro From Her 2006 Files.
Hi. I’m Fidel Castro.
And I know what you’ve been saying—you think I actually died following my 2006 surgery for Intestinal Bleeding. Muerto! Ah, but I didn’t. Es un rumor. No es verdad.
After all, if I died would I be able to walk? Like this? Can’t you see me walking? Down the streets of Havana? See me swing my fuerte arms?
Still unsure? Well here I am walking down the same street just yesterday:
And I ask you – could a dead man sit and read today’s Cuban newspaper? Huh?
Just because it takes an 82-year-old caballero just a little longer to get out of bed in the morning. ¡Dios Mío!
You are weird.
I like that about you.
By the way, I just accidentally deleted the comment you left on my gay zombie post and have no idea how to get it back. I just didn’t want you to think that I’d deleted intentionally because you’re so offensive.
I like that you’re so offensive.
Dead Fidel is much easier on the eyes that Live Fidel — or Fidel: Live! coming to a city near you.
than, not that. but you’re smart so you realized it.
I like that Bossy getsto the heart (or in this case: the bones) of the matter. Who knew Fidel was still kickin’ around Cuba having a good time smokin’ cigars, readin’ the paper and getting massages.
You crack me up!
Suddenly I have images of Fidel singing, “The leg bone’s connected to the knee bone. The knee bone’s connected to the thigh bone”…
Hey, that’s a German newspaper? No? I’m bad with languages. But those words don’t look Spanish.
But Fidel looks so young and vital yet!
this is great!
Y De nada para el catorce dolares, I hope it helps you get down here to visit!
That’s a really good picture of Fidel. You should send it to him.
Weekend at Castros.
It does seem odd that Fidel reads a german newspaper, but dios mio! Such fun!
Hilarious.
I know he’s not dead… I saw a guy just like that last October!
Have the highlight lowlight chemicals finally seeped into the ol noggin ?
Poor Fidel. He can’t catch a break.
I know what ol’ Fidel is going through. I resembled a walking skeleton throughout highschool and people often thought I was dead with my pacific northwest “tan” and my 6 foot 90 pound frame. But alas, it was just youth, and now, fat. All Fidel needs is a cheeseburger and he’ll be fine and dictating again in no time.
I think he’s been dead for ages. Those sneaky commies, trying to ease him gently out of office even though he kicked the bucket hace 19 meses.
i totally suspected he was dead! please thank fidel for this enlightening post clearing things up for me.
See, now I totally thought that was Heidi Fleiss before I read it. I was all thinkin’, “Wow, Bossy and Heidi are tight like OJ’s glove.”
Bossy needs to bottle up and sell whatever is the source of all her energy – I need some (and I think Fidel could use a shot or two as well).
What??? Who is this Castro guy?? And why is he walking around with the dinosaurs? And furthermore, where did you get an x-ray machine!!? I am so jealous.
Corpse Fidel is much easier to spot than Corpse Elvis.
So he’s a robot now?
Yeah, isn’t it great that Fidel’s “younger”, only 76-year-old not quite as ancient brother will be stepping in?
I’m so glad I read you, Bossy! I had no idea that the dead Fidel had stepped down. Isn’t it a very fun thought that some of us turn to you and you alone as our source for accurate reporting on national and world events?
I love that you grasp news, politics, history, etc. so that I don’t have to.
LMAO
Bossy must make Fidel Youtube video, complete with a skeleton smoking a cigar, no?
ok–this post cracked me up , as did your ad for Christian dating. Who knew that Christians like big breasted blondes too–Boosy your site keeps on teaching us.
Elian!
So let me get this straight… Fidel is old? Heh.
¡muy bien!
*snort* Thank you for not posting up any pics of Fidel’s slightly younger brother… which would be a skeleton still adorned with decomposing flesh. Eww… I hope the man doesn’t take power, the newspaper will be too creepy to read.
I swore I saw him at McDonald’s the other day…
This was a crack up! Muito funn-io. I really would love to be a stop on your road trip, do you have one of those Duck mobiles?
Another Bossy classic.
But dude…
No cigar?
Hilarious!
How did you do the upside down exclamation marks that are the hallmark of Spanish punctuation? Inquiring minds want to know.
He stepped down because he saw what happened to Emeril and fears another hostile takeover is imminent.
Un hombre inteligente. Pero un hombre, y Marta no le gustan los hombres (or les gusta, or los gustan or less gusto or whatever).
We were just talking today at lunch about how Fidel was like Bernie in “Weekend at Bernie’s”
I’ll bet Fidel is really out there kickin’ it with Elvis.
I agree.
I think it’s a cover cause he’s already d.e.a.d.
Bossy, you know everybody (or is Bossy just a name-dropper?).
are you trying to make me wet my pants laughing? or is that just an extra?
Excellent, Excellent skeleton art graphics.
This is totally one of my favorite blogs. You are hystericcally funny and talented. I read every day an I even show my hubby and he laughs, too… and he has a warped sense of humour and hardly laughs at anything!
Fidel and Cuba better be careful what they ask for when asking that the embargo be lifted..
they will then have to deal with all of our idiots during SPRING BREAK!!!
So Fidel was with the Grateful Dead? Huh. And all this time I thought their cover art was Karen Carpenter.
You’ve made my eye sockets hurt; that is muy rico. Jon Stewart would be proud of such an expose.
I remember Fidel being somewhat fleshier. Thanks for the laugh!
I think I know how ol’ Fidelio feels. At least after driving back to Cleveland from Milwaukee in the middle of the winter.
Oy!
Say “hey” to Mosla for me!