Feb 21, 2008

Come Live Bossy’s Best Life. So She Doesn’t Have To.

Bossy has this little morning routine she likes to call Jogging. She likes to call it jogging, even though it’s only jogging in the figurative sense. In the technical sense it’s Sputtering. While limping and cursing under-breath.

jogging-shoes

Luckily Bossy knows this is not uncommon for beginners. And by beginner, Bossy means she’s been jogging for twenty-seven years—which according to calculations is approximately three years shy of the release of endorphins.

And speaking of releasing, on the days Bossy slogs jogs, she likes to come home and pound Metamucil, because. Best life!

metamucil

Metamucil is a fiber supplement that lowers cholesterol and keeps you regular. And by regular Bossy is referring to a bathroom experience that produces perfectly shaped excrement which when examined spells Poo.

Here’s the deal:

First Bossy turns on the water.

running-water

Meanwhile Bossy readies her Metamucil:

big-container

Bossy throws a heaping tablespoon of Metamucil into the bottom of her glass and then adds water all the way up to the chip brim of her glass, mixing vigorously with a spoon:

mixing-metamucil

The next step is gagging drinking:

jogging-face

Once in your digestive system, the mucilage contained within each psyllium husk swells due to its exposure to water, which forms a lubricated mucilaginous mass that causes contractions of the intestinal walls, thus stimulating a bowel movement which helps to flush cholesterol from your body:

metamucil-technology

As luck would have it, Metamucil also coats your drinking glass and reduces its risk of Heart Disease:

dirty-glass


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