Jan 26, 2009
Tablecloth Couture In Ten Exhibits.
The Screen Actors Guild Awards took place last night in Hollywood, doling out wins across television and cinema categories to celebrities such as Meryl Streep, Sean Penn, Kate Winslet, Alec Baldwin, and Tina Fey.
Not only does this event often predict February’s Oscar winners, but the SAG red carpet provides a preview of the Academy Award red carpet fashion trends, which Bossy will sum up in this way: the crazies wore banquet tablecloths.
Makes me wish I’d hung onto some of Grandma’s beauties from the dining room sideboard! Kinda…
What the doodle? Could someone please get Katie Holmes a sandwich?
I am glad I am not the only person that looks at what they wear. I crack up over some of the ugliest, most outrageous dresses. Most have people telling them what to wear but you would think they would have a lot of mirrors to REALLY see what they look like.
Coco
Those are some UGLY dresses.
All Angelina needs is one of those “devil worshiper” hoods to make this complete.
The tablecloths appear to be about as close as these skeletons have ever come to a banquet.
Agree 100%. If that’s the future fashion for 2009, color me fashionless (and happy)
Uh, NO!
Agree on all but Kate Winslet…her boobs look fab in that dress!
meh.
Just think….poor Rachel Zoe is probably just EXHAUSTED today – I’m sure yesterday was to her what April 15th is to accountants. Poor Rachel.
Oh, Katie Holmes…would she be anyone if she hadn’t married Tom Cruise as the world watched him go all crazy on Oprah about her???? And, really, does she need to be THAT skinny? There’s skinny and then there’s Katie Homes skinny…ew!
LOL… the first thing I thought is the spandex-galore, Bridget-Jones-style, granny underwear Angelina Jolie must be wearing under this dress to have such a flat tummy. I mean, come ON! didn’t she give birth to twins, like, 6 months ago?
and.. yeah. give Katie Holmes a burger, stat!
My word.. I love Amy’s Burgundy dress.
Hi Bossy – new reader, first time commenter.
I have never understood the fashion at these events. These are some crazy get-ups. I mean, I have difficulty putting together outfits I feel good about, but if I had months to plan it, assistants to help, money to pay for it, and knew that the end result would be seen by millions, I think I’d be more discriminating than to wear some of these numbers.
Oh, and I’m with annie — Katie Holmes is looking weirder and weirder every time she shows up somewhere.
I think Amy Adams looks pretty grand but the rest? You nailed it.
Man, Katie is skinny these days. Also? Angelina wore a color OTHER THAN BLACK OR TAN! HUZZAH! A celebration is in order!
And Amy Adams needs to stay away from humongous bows.
Why does this make me think of the Gilded Age?
Actually, I think it was a toga party!
*ahem* katie holms: your BFF, posh spice, is not really a role model to which you should aspire. what’s this, what’s going on, this whole “alien chic” look isn’t working.
Somebody please get Katie Holmes a Philly Cheesesteak?
I don’t care what the dress looks like, I think America Ferrera is beautiful.
Unfortunately, they didn’t realize that they look like they’re wearing tablecloths, because none of them ever eat.
Bright green? Never!
Katie Holmes scared me and I had to skip to the end.
I did NOT know we had a fabric surplus in this country! Personally, I would like to thank all these stars for helping to use up that surplus and prop up another leg of our ailing economy.
Lordy..
If only– IF ONLY the crazies would just call under their tents instead of trying to wear them.
JUST SO SICK OF THESE PEOPLE..
I didn’t even know it was on.
I tried doing that hand-on-hip twisted-sideways feet-just-so stance once in my mirror. Guess what: it didn’t make me look like a star(let) and it didn’t make my stomach look as astonishingly flat as those women’s. Maybe I wasn’t holding my feet in the right position.
Does kate winslet ever look bad? (That was Kate Winslet, right?) Maybe the whole tablecloth thing comes from a desperate need to EAT.
Besides all the requests here to get Katie a sandwich, I’d like to join in and get her A BRA. If you’re going to wear a dress like that, please lift the girls up where they belong. Saggy and squished in unevenly? Really??
Don’t those women know that with their bodies they should just show up naked? I am much better suited to table clothes or muumuus!
Wow… moooove over Kat Giantis!
Bossy is here and she’s nailed it.
Totally with Lesley on the Katie bra thing. You gotta have perky ones to get away with no bra. Hers, like mine, are sagmuffins, and though no one ever comes running to me for fashion wisdom (and there’s a reason for that), even *I* know that no bra = barfing passersby. Besides, do you WANT the world to know yours sag? Uh, NO.
Yikes. Some of those colors are bright enough to blind someone!
Where did Holmes get that huge melon? Looks like a fucking PEZ dispenser.
When I wear my table cloth dress I’m trying to hide something. (my belly) Maybe those girls were packing under those table cloths. You know you can’t be too security conscious at an event like that.
Unfortunately for her, Katie Holmes thought she was attending a different “SAG” awards. (Really, she didn’t look in the mirror and realize she needs a bra?)
I like Kate Winslet’s dress, The rest are ugly.
http://sprucehill.typepad.com/
Can we get rid of the hand on the hip pelvic thrust pose?
OMG. They ARE banquet table cloths.
I love Kate’s dress. It reminds me of these cargo pants my son wore when he was young that had breakaways bottom legs converting the pants into shorts. After the ceremony, just a simple tug and Kate has a beautiful purple dress and rather large shawl.
Amy Adams looks like Carol Burnett in the Gone With the Wind curtain dress.
what was up with katie holmes’ boobahs? they were lopsided. and not just a little bit. like, totally obviously lopsided. and is anthony hopkins a healthy slim? or an unhealthy skinny? he looks really old.
Did you actually watch? I’m impressed if you did. Or did you just steal the pics off MSN the next day (what I would do)?
Tablecloths or perhaps curtains (like in the Carol Burnett show GWTW takoff…)
What’s on their windows while they’re wearing their drapes?
That first one almost looks like she’s wearing a snuggie !
Most dresses were not that great. Or as I would say, so not hot. However, Eva L-Parker looked glam-a-licious!
I really really like each one of these dresses.
Hate to say it as I’m not a huge fan, but I actually like Nicolette Sheridan’s dress!
I think Eva looks AWFUL! Especially the hair…eew!
And I just think it’s sad that Katie Holmes is morphing into Posh Spice…they could almost pass as twins these days! Wonder if Tom knew what he was in for?
I thought Kate Winslett looked gorgeous. The other table cloth wearers not so much.
BOSSY, you make me laugh.
I was reading your post, laughing out loud, when my husband looked over my shoulder to see what all the fuss was about. He saw the photos and before he knew what it was about, he commented: “What’s with the all the giant, baggy, dragging on the floor thingies?”
Indeed.
I submit my 2-year-old daughter’s comment when looking over my shoulder: Mommy, that lady is dressed like a blimp!
I wonder how many layers of Spanx I’d have to put on to pull any of those off?