Jan 6, 2010
It’s Day Three. Do You Know Where Your Colon Cleanse For Thoughts Is?
Who knows about this? For the month of January, Oprah’s website is hosting the self-help book pictured above, The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse by Debbie Ford.
The deal is that every day for 21 days, Oprah’s website features a new awareness goal, such as The Gift of Desire, The Gift of Release, The Gift of Not Having To Pay For This Book Thank Gah.
Each day features a new recording to listen to while you meditate on the goal at hand — and then later you are asked to answer certain questions, workbook style, which allows you to further contemplate your issues and carve new emotional and psychological habits.
Here is an example of the daily audio taken from Day Two, The Gift Of
Self-Awareness:
Today’s the day to become the observer of your life. Take a deep breath. Allow yourself to float down to that place where you have all the wisdom that you need. That place right next to the intestinal gas from Kale soup.
Get comfortable in your seat of wisdom. After first shoving the dog off your seat of wisdom. Take another slow deep breath.
Bring forth the future that’s calling you. Wait, that’s not the future, that’s your mother asking you to paint her kitchen. Bring your outer goal for this cleanse into your awareness. Allow yourself to see it, to feel it, and invite that inner feeling you most desire into your awareness. And the inner feeling declines your invitation because it has to wash its hair that night.
Affirm that this is your future and now turn your attention back onto your breath. Affirm that this is the breath of Kale soup.
Now imagine you are viewing a film of your past, what do you see? Besides the neon leg warmers and that time you dressed in red cowboy boots and a red tie to match your boyfriend. What do you feel good about? What do you regret? Allow yourself to feel compassion for the person on the screen. Because that person is clearly a lunatic.
How can you view your past in a way that will empower you rather than keep you stuck? Allow yourself to hear three words that will shift how you see your past. Not those three words, knucklehead, because those three words are forbidden inside several institutions.
Relax in your seat of wisdom and breathe in today’s soul food. And then choke because that soul food is now stuck in your windpipe.
Click here for the Oprah link. It’s only Day Three of 21.
I couldn’t find my soul because I was distracted by this Teri Hatch look alike.
Hatch-er. See, I was really distracted.
Good god- if I had to listen to that for 21 days, I’d pray for UNconsciousness!!!
Wish I had the time to actually do so much visualization, deep breathing and future planning! I’m going to downgrade to aiming to make kale soup!
–>Bossy’s dog on her seat of wisdom had me laughing…hell, I’m still chuckling.
Toxic Emotions? Human Operating Systems? Who thinks of this stuff? My advice: stick with the chick who drinks from the coconut…that’s my way to spiritual revitalization!
Dear Oprah,
Most of America is too busy earning a living and tending to their families to invite their inner feelings out for a cup of coffee, let alone into their awareness. Whatever the heck that means. Furthermore, is soul food gluten-free?
Yours truly,
TCC
I couldn’t get past the fact that the girl in the aqua bikini had to have had a boob job and botox……
My future called, too, and asked me to paint my mother’s kitchen. What’s with mothers and paint needy kitchens? I may need to sit in my stupid chair and reflect how I always end up saying yes.
Bossy and her Council,
Thank you for making me laugh this morning. I have two thoughts (one for each cup of coffee I have consumed so far today):
1. If Debbie were blond, she’d be a Stepford wife. Maybe she is anyway.
2. I took a (rare) day off of work yesterday and went skiing for the first time in 32 years. Took my 20 year old son who had never skied. Did a world of good for my brain. No further cleansing necessary.
Go out and do something fun!!! p.j.
Is that really Ms. Ford in the beach photo or was Bossy playing with her Photoshop toys again?
p.j.
I could not agree with you more. I normally log into Bossy’s site daily but this is the first time I have commented. Reflection is a wonderful thing, but sometimes you just need to get out to a museum, the beach or hiking to clear your head and feel good. Do these things with your family and you will not need to worry about attaching yourself to Oprah’s ideas on how to ‘lead a better life.’ By the way, way to go p.j., do it more often.
Snore.
As usual my day is almost over by the time Oprah’s party begins, and I hate being a day behind everyone else.
Does anyone beside me think that the “flower”picture on the cover is” suggestive”?;you know,like Georgia O’Keefe suggestive?
“Relax in your seat of wisdom and breathe in today’s soul food.”??
Ok, who comes up with this stuff? I think my seat of wisdom has peanut butter stuck to it. I suppose if I had millions of dollars, I could spend my days visualizing and soul-searching, but as it is, I’m busy picking up wet towels off the floor and replacing the toilet paper rolls.
I have never heard of kale soup. I buy kale every week because my daughter’s rabbit thinks it’s the bomb. Half the time, the people ringing me up at the store don’t even know what it is and they have to ask me. Is the soup good?
My hubby gave me (51) and my daughter (5) hoops as in hula-hoops for Christmas. My consciousness has benefited way more than if he’d given me this book.
I believe the technical term for this kind of process is called “hooey.”
Oprah really just looses me sometimes….like “no-one-pays-ME-to-be-pretentious-but-if-they-did-I’d-do-it” lost. As always bossy nails the lost feeling I have really well. Now I’m off to get in touch with my souls housemaid…..
I am so not interested in that type of thing. BLeaaack.
I should have had my coffee before reading Bossy’s post today. Now I’m a little nauseous.
I read through that and now my tummy hurts. I may have loose bowels now…thanks for the beginning of my colon cleanse. I always knew I was full of shit.
But the real question is… does this cleanse help one poop? Or should I look into the kale soup more closely?
I suppose each of these ‘new’ self-help plans speaks to someone, but is there really anything new left to be said in this arena? I do enjoy the tie-in to one’s bowels, tho. That is a spiffy hook.
Mmmm… kale soup!
Well now don’t I feel-the-feel and all so inner glowy inside. Debbie is cute, but I think she wears dentures.
Consciousness cleansing? Yikes. I’ll take a coffee enema over a MIND ERASE any day. Har har.
Also, am I the only person who hates guided meditation? I find it hard to meditate when someone is talking.
NOTHING will cleanse you and restore your soul like a good LAUGH. Thanks Bossy.
Someone throw her a lifeline. She’s clearly gone waaay overboard.
Oh I have to agree with BossysMom!! A good laugh clears the mind!!! Thanks Bossy!
What’s with her boobs?
I AM comfortable with my seat of wisdom and so is all the cellulite that lives there.
woo-hoo!!!
Well, damn. I was so busy floating to my place of wisdom that I plum fell asleep. That Debbie–she’s better than a really good Tylenol PM.
Conciousness cleanse, aka: brainwashing! Personally, I prefer a good mental floss with a vodka chaser.
Damn It. The kids caught me cleansing my consciousness and now I feel all dirty inside.
if my dog’s not on the Seat of Wisdom, it’s the kid playing mariocart… hey, maybe that’s how her scores are so HI!
Allow yourself to hear three words that will shift how you see your past.
Repeating “More wine please” has always ultimately shifted how I see EVERYTHING.
Oh thank God someone else noticed her crazy boobs.
I like the Bossy cleanse better. At least the part where Bossy and Martha lie around whining and watching HBO series DVDs because they have no energy to move. Now that’s my kind of cleanse.
If I float down to that place where I have all the wisdom that I need will I need the rest of the 21 days?
Veneers.
In this house, we do other things on the “seat of wisdom”… and it’s definitely NOT bringing forth the future. More like… expelling the past. very cleansing, if you ask me.
Just because Debbie Ford has problems with her poop chute and wears sweaters that have baby afghan blanket necklines doesn’t make her Mrs. Siddhartha.
Clearly she’s an expert. With her head stuck so far up her own ass, she can probably tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the human colon.
(sorry, I had to).
i’m sorry, who IS debbie ford?
bossy’s rendition is why i can never get into all that self-focussing, workbook exercising kind of stuff. it seems so contrived and all i can think about are the kinds of things bossy writes, unabashedly, on her blog.
sorry, debbie.
Gack. Simply putrid.
My inner voice is telling me to trust the girl tossing the coconut back to her head.
The hair on my neck is telling me not to trust anyone with a helmet hairdo.
Personally…this stuff is just junk and something to pry you from your cash. Laugh hard with a friend or read a joke and laugh…it makes everything better. Trust me on this.
Debbie Ford needs to cut back on the Botox treatments. The first thing I noticed was she doesn’t smile with her eyes. Phoney, Phoney, Phoney Baloney!!
So if all 47 people who posted comments before me are laughing at Debbie Ford, how many people are actually buying her book?
I might buy it if it was one of those guided imagery hypnosis things you can listen to, maybe, but to read that. No way.
The commentary was great
Wondering if Debbie’s soul’s deepest purpose is livin’ large on all the money she’s making from this collection of [crap]. Sorry, can’t figure out how to get a strikeout except in WordPerfect!
(In haiku form since I’m commenting on Friday!)
Bleah is what I say,
and that I’m not quite sure what
is being cleansed here …
Inner or outer?
I’m cleansing myself of the
want to watch Oprah.
Ahh, that feels better!
Bossy, vodka, wine, skiing…
much better tips here!!
Relax in your seat of wisdom and breathe in today’s soul food is the new tag line for Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles.
Isn’t that really Sela Ward? Now SHE’s pretty cool.
You are hilarious and your comment section is so prettttty!! Jeal-ous.