Sep 17, 2010
Dear Olay Products
First Bossy would like to say she remembers when you were just a youngster and we called you Oil of Olay. But now you’re all Olay, and so Bossy’s first question is What happened to the Oil?
Bossy wants you to know she’s been using one of your Regenerist products for the past two years, ever since Bossy discovered it at the top of consumer lists for both effectiveness and economy. She even wrote about it in these pages that aren’t pages.
The hype of the Regenerist line — its positioning as they say in the marketing industry which you may have guessed Bossy is not a part of — is that the Olay products contain the exact same ingredients as the much pricier stuff, so why not buy this drugstore brand? Because everything has the same ingredients! Everything! Same!
This is why Bossy was so confused when she saw this:
It’s your new Pro-X line. Which is not to be confused with this:
That would be your Total Effects line, which isn’t the same as this:
Because that is your Age Defying Series. Totally different, by the way, then this, which goes by the name Complete:
But then Bossy spent some time on your website, where some time equals sister mercy people have graduated with dermatology degrees in less time than Bossy wasted trying to understand your various products, and Bossy wants you to know everything is clear now!
For instance, Regenerist is indicated for advanced anti-aging, while Total Effects is anti-aging, and Pro-X refers to professionally designed anti-aging. As opposed to the Age Defying Series which is, yeah, for aging. See?
In whatever case, thanks Olay, for reminding Bossy that it’s not her skin that ultimately defines her. It’s the Olay headache just beneath the skin.
Love, Bossy.
mmmmm I will be shopping for the equate version…
I gave up on stopping the oily sheen years ago. Now it’s just a judicious layer of petroleum jelly on all the skin from my neck up to even out the shine, some mascara, maybe a little lipstick and I’m good to go.
I cut the crap and go with what’s ON SALE. Which is still usually more expensive than the drug store brand, so you can see where this is going.
My Dad used to say there is no difference between cheap and expensive (shampoo) (skin care products) (makeup). I didn’t listen to him. But, the expensive stuff was not making me beautiful … so I switched to the drug store skin care products and that doesn’t make me beautiful either. But at least I’m saving money and all. And it’s not making me any uglier either.
Oh also, one of the youngest looking ladies for her age that I know (she seriously looks about 10 or more years younger than she is) uses Crisco Shortening on her face and neck. Every night. It makes for a disgusting pillow case I guess, but her skin is fabulous. I can’t get over the greasy pillow case aspect of it, so I’ve never tried it myself.
I think Age Defying is for preventing aging, Pro-X is for aging mutant superheroes, Regenerist is for when you’re so old you just want to burn it all off and grow new skin and Total Effects is the follow up to Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart.
Which, by the way, has the best literal video translation I have ever seen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA
I was going to make some witty comment about Olay and then I read about the Crisco lady…and now I am speechless.
Ewwwwwwwwwww.
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I’m just as miffed. This is probably why I still only use the original pink stuff.
So what’s an Olay, that the original version used the oil of?
Sincerely,
a Clinique girl from way back, because of no scent and no animal testing. (Dunno what Olay has/does) And I like the color of the box.
Right on!
Crisco on the face is just too disgusting.
I used to use Oil of Olay in high school. Now I use Oil of Coconut daily. It works great.
You still look loverly whichever one it is that you are using. It works.
I used to use the Age Defying series. It didn’t work – I still continued to age every year. Now I have a whopping case of adult acne, ever since my last pregnancy, so I get to use Proactive. At least I feel 16 again.
In my house it’s always been known as Oil of Old Lady.
Oh my – I too got stuck on Crisco… I have no beauty advice except to empathise with Bossy in the oily skin dept – although I’m not sure that photo really shows a BAD case of shininess Bossy. You’re just glowing…
Also, we have a 94 year old neighbour (a man) who does NOT look a day over 65. 70 tops. I asked his wife how he looks so young, She admitted he uses Vaseline Intensive Care (body lotion) every day. I was gobsmacked. No man I know even uses products. Suffice to say I now own a budget pack of VIC. Wish me luck!
BB
Too funny! I use Oil of Olay all of the time, but I usually just get the one on sale instead of standing in the isle trying to read the small print – I’m embarrassing enough on my own thank you very much.
Hmm…we always thought we were funny when we were kids and called it Oil of Old Age. Who’s laughing now?
Losing over 175 pounds in the past 18months has aged me like no other and I have religiously used Oil of older age, vaseline, etc. etc. and many other etc’s for many many years. Bossy is lucky she has oily skin now as my always dry skin although blemish free is all wrinkly now. Is it a bad thing to look your age? ::::Sigh:::: Is this 10 word Friday ? Whew ! good !
Hopefully you won’t meander to the juice aisle after the beauty aisle, where you will be befuddled with “no pulp”, “some pulp”, “lots of pulp”, “super pulp”, “pulp-free”, “medium pulp” and the like.
The world has become a CHOICE OVERLOAD. Makes me want to beat the marketers to a “bloody pulp” or simply opt for the Crisco.
What about for Resentful Skin? Huh?
They have a gajillion products! Every time I buy one, something new comes out! I’m sticking with Jergens original. I love the smell and it works.
If you figure it out, please enlighten us. I use Nutrogena stuff because it doesn’t match me iitch & the dermatologist said it was good. But they have a similarly confusing sub brand thing going on.
You nailed it, Bossy! I was just at CVS last night, looking at the shelves of gogiillions of anti-aging products (because I need to start using something!), and left with nothing. I was totally overwhelmed by Olay and Neutrogena alone. My mom looks great, and all she ever used was Vaseline.
Wexler.Her cleanser, her pink serum stuff and her tinted moisturizer and sometimes her under-eye stuff.
Yeah, losing weight and trying not to get face wrinkles is kind of a losing battle.
Geez, I remember Noxema, but then didn’t some serial killer use it in some movie. I loved the way it smelled. I’m a clinique user too, because it’s pretty good and no animal testing, and I get free stuff I get a couple of times a year. If I am verrrrryyy careful (meaning, if I forget it as much as I use it), it will last.
So basically, if I go to the Olay section and blindly stick my hand out and grab the first thing that it touches, then I’m covered, right?
It is really just all about crowding the other brands off the shelf. Methinks if you “carry” a brand you have to display all the products. Must drive retailers nuts.
I’m not very nice to my skin,but try to remember it likes moisture. Still using the bottle of cheap Olay that I bought for my mom two years ago when she went into the hospital. When she passed I brought it home. Doesn’t smell bad or anything so must still be good.
notice on the picture of the old school Oil of Olay, they tell us to pronounce it Ulay? But since all of us have said Olay (like the Ole! bullfighters use), the oily people of Ulay have allowed us to embrace our inner drier bullfighting beast and say Ole!!!! A skin prayer….Now I Olay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my smooth skin to keep, and if I die before I wake, that’s one less botox injection I have to take.
Krystyn and kitchensink’s comments cracked me up! I got the Regenerist stuff to review and it does make my skin feel super-smooth, and it smells nice.
When I was in England I went to a store for some aspirin and noticed the skin care section and the bottles of “Oil of Ulay”. I asked one of my fellow students and they said it was because “Olay” is too close to the bullfighter word “Ole”. Fascinating, huh?
I pretty much adhere to @Foolery’s strategy. The time I started using moisturizer was a much, much simpler time. But then everything was simpler back in the Stone Age.
Bossy please let people know about Paula’s Choice http://www.cosmeticscop.com. And try her skin care line. No bullshit, no lies, no expensive packaging.
She also takes out the guess work out of buying make-up and sells great products. I use her skin care but I prefer to buy my make-up at the counter so I can get the right colors and try them on. I’ve been using the same foundation, powder and lipstick for over a year. (Clarins Everlasting Foundation for when I need my make-up to last all day, Clinique Almost Powder when I am am feeling lazy because it’s in a compact with a sponge so it’s fast, and Este Lauder Double Wear lipstick in rose). She reviews drugstore brands too, but I don’t live in the US so I can’t buy them.
to be clear, she sells her own brand of skin care and make-up but reviews new products from the drugstore and department stores too, and those three were products she recommended in her newsletter for my skin type and she was 100% right.