Nov 7, 2011
And Now For Another Episode of How Depressing
This past week Bossy traveled to a conference on the West Coast, which translates to eleven airborne hours with nothing but Skymall magazine.
Shall we? This is a lice-killing wand dressed as a vibrator:
Then there’s this:
And this:
Not to be confused with this:
And while on the subject of limbs:
And, just this morning, Bossy was wondering where to purchase a skeleton garden gnome family!
Of course there’s this:
And this:
And finally, what to get the person who has everything!
It was great meeting you last week in LA and it appears we had some of the same thoughts about the Skymall magazine!
I was looking for something to put on the shelf next to my Nessie the shy Loch ness monster figurine.
Hahaha.
The fully dressed man in bed with the laptop looks like that little dude from “Will and Grace”
OK, I kind of want the Bigfoot “sculpture,” but I’ll wait until it’s on clearance for $6.95.
what shit. but good for laughs!
BWAHAHAHAHA! Thank you, Bossy. I may need to start flying just to get material.
Let’s tackle these one by one…
#1. It’s a louse-killer, a vibrator, AND an eyebrow trimmer. Perfect for anyone’s desert island list.
#2. Don’t let that next air disaster catch you snoozing. Don your cervical color BEFORE the plane goes down!
#3. “…an amusing gift, especially for those who have everything.” Yeh, everything except hair. Try giving your amputee friend an umbrella stand with a shoe on it.
#4. The sneaker impaler. No that’s not creepy. At all.
#5. Want a guaranteed pat-down from TSA screeners? Try boarding your flight with this thing clamped to your wrist.
#6. And THIS is what happens when you don’t feed your lawn gnomes. Can people be convicted of gnome cruelty?
#7. The “Vampire Edition” lets you work while hanging upside down.
#8. Do they make a phone that looks like a toilet? Because I want EVERYTHING in my house to look like a toilet.
#9. “Bashful Yeti” is also available in “Bashful Mugger” and “Bashful Sex Offender” editions.
I am left speechless.
Olivia will be flying tomorrow but here in Canada we don’t have anything that interesting to read on airplanes. Unless she brings her own reading material Olivia will be reading the instructions on the air sickness bag or perusing the magazine that shows her all the places she COULD be flying to if she were one of the 1 percent!! And if she were one of the 1% why would she be flying economy? Or even commercially?
As for Skymall – whatever that is (??) – Olivia kinda fancies the skeleton garden gnomes . . .
That skeleton gnome family is beyond awesome.
Fine print: “Lice wand available only to licensed exterminators and CSI personnel.”
Fine print 2: “Warning – neck pillow must be fitted by licensed installer to avoid impeding blood flow to brain.”
“The Wrist Cell Phone Carrier – for people not quite brave enough or nerdy enough to wear a Bluetooth earpiece / headphones and leave their phone in their purse or pocket.”
“Tired of having to give your furry pets water all the time? Train them to drink from the toilet!”
I agree w/Jacquie: that skeleton gnome thing is the shit. How can you hate on that?
It does make you wonder why the middle skeleton gnome is wearing a belt, though. What’s it holding up?
Trust me, the Skel-e-dog is awesomeness wrapped in awesome. I was thumbing through Skymall while in the no-Kindle zone (take-off & landing) & found the skeleton gnomes. Perfect for Day of the Dead! And my cats are relieved that I dress him up instead of them. Everyone wins!
OMG! They honestly have the craziest crap in the SkyMall catalog! Think about it if you walked into your local mall and saw half this sh*t you would run from said mall and never get out of bed again. But when you are trapped in a flying vibrator with wings what are you gonna do except be amused. I love SkyMall catalogs..them and Brookstone! What? You mean you don’t need a $10,000.00 wine opener that will tell you that your taste is in your mouth and it is all bad so the wine you just opened will be wasted on you?
The Yeti looks like Herman Cain.
I so need an angry subhuman spying on me from behind trees. How’d ya know, Sky Maul?
Eleven hours?! How many stops did you make? Without proper medication, that would just about kill me.
I like the skeleton gnome family. And the toilet bowl beverage holder cracked me up. Do they make a mug like that for humans?
I hate regular gnomes, but the skeletons might just have to find their way to my garden….
Reminds me of the regretsy website:
http://www.regretsy.com/
For those people on my Christmas list who I can never figure out what to buy that bigfoot tree sculpture is looking pretty good right now.
Hysterical. Love the Big Foot. Me get one.
Love this! I travel all the time for work so I started a blog about Skymall: airmall.tumblr.com.