Jan 24, 2012

Everything You Need To Know About The Upcoming Super Bowl According To Bossy

1. The two teams facing off for Super Bowl XLVI are the New York Giants and the New England Patriots
2. Both of these teams have the word new in their names
3. The New York Giants aren’t as new as the New England Patriots, though, because Bossy doesn’t remember hearing about them when she was growing up in 1925 and the Giants were purchased for $500



4. It now costs the price of a franchise plus one-thousand-nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine more dollars to sit your ass in a Super Bowl seat.
5. When you watch the Giants on TV, the commentators incessantly refer to them as the New York Football Giants to differentiate them from those other New York Giants





6. Sportscasters are not the same as sports announcers who are not the same as color commentators who are not studio hosts or analysts or sideline reporters



7. New York is Bossy’s favorite city
8. New England is also one of Bossy’s favorite cities
9. Eric Allen doesn’t play on the Giants or the Patriots



10. One could argue every football player could be classified as a Giant
11. Bossy favors New England Clam Chowder over Manhattan Clam Chowder
12. The Super Bowl features lots of very expensive commercials that leave viewers wondering what was the product being advertised?
13. Football is a game of downs. First down, second down, man down, countdown, letdown, downtime, takedown, downers, downfalls, downpours, markdown, downwind, slowdowns, downsides, meltdowns, facedown, knockdown, putdowns, rubdown, shutdowns, and finally touchdowns
14. When the guy has the ball and is throwing that ball or running with that ball or catching that ball or preparing to do any of the above, it’s not a good time to stand up and dip your fist in the hummus, assuming you are watching that game with Bossy’s brother

May the best man win! Or in this case, the best fifty-three men.

If you enjoyed this post, read about this 2008 Super Bowl party at Bossy’s brother’s house, featuring Eddie Van Hamster.

And here’s another game day party with Bossy’s brother and Bossy’s son and cheese dipped in cheese.

permanent link to post

20 comments

1. 1
   on January 24th, 2012 at 9:32 am
   the muskrat said:

   I’m sure this will jeopardize my holding firmly to my “man card,” but most of this was new information to me. Thanks!


2. 2
   on January 24th, 2012 at 9:55 am
   km said:

   Living halfway between both these team bases means km can just sit back and enjoy the football and two cutie pies Victor Cruz and Rob Gronkowski. Please research them.
   You’re welcome.


3. 3
   on January 24th, 2012 at 10:32 am
   Craftwhack said:

   I’ve never been able to understand football before, but this made it all so clear to me! My husband will be so proud when I spew out these facts at him during the Superbowl, thank you very much.


4. 4
   on January 24th, 2012 at 11:59 am
   Reticula said:

   I always feel so stupid during Superbowl season. At least this year I’ll know both teams have the word “new” in their names. It’s more than I’ve ever known before.

   Thanks for the primer. Got my laugh for today.


5. 5
   on January 24th, 2012 at 12:52 pm
   Tootsie Farklepants said:

   The code word for the Super Bowl drinking game has been set at “down”. Only the strong will make it out of the first quarter sober…ish.


6. 6
   on January 24th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
   KathyB said:

   I struggle with the whole football Giants/baseballGiants thing myself. Thank you Bossy for the enlightenment.

   I remember accidentally purchasing a can of Manhattan style clam chowder many years ago. Shocked I tell you.
   Actually saw a player pull another one by the hair in a game this season. No penalty. There are more longhaired guys in the NFL than I ever would have imagined.


7. 7
   on January 24th, 2012 at 2:00 pm
   joeinvegas said:

   What’s wrong with hummus dipping? As long as you don’t block the view of the TV that is the best time to do it without being noticed. You didn’t block the TV, did you?


8. 8
   on January 24th, 2012 at 3:16 pm
   BossysMom said:

   Dare I “rat” on her. Yes she blocked the TV.
   Looking forward to another “playoff” and Bossy commentary.
   Ohhhhhhh yes….remember Eric Allen? Sorry fellas but that man has a gentle soul.


9. 9
   on January 24th, 2012 at 8:24 pm
   Lina said:

   I care not a whit about football and Superbowl Sunday will be like any other Sunday when we lay about, watch movies, nap, eat an early dinner and watch 60 Minutes. Wait. Will Superbowl interfere with 60 Minutes?? I need to know, Bossy!


10. 10
    on January 24th, 2012 at 9:53 pm
    Dexter said:

    will Bossy be making chowder for this years party?


11. 11
    on January 25th, 2012 at 2:37 am
    Cactus Petunia said:

    It’s not clam chowder unless it has milk in it. And that’s all I know about football.


12. 12
    on January 25th, 2012 at 12:10 pm
    Judy said:

    I wish I had brothers!


13. 13
    on January 25th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
    heidig said:

    My daughter works for Ticket Network and recently sold 2 superbowl tickets for $12,000 – before we knew the NY “football” Giants and the NE Patriots were playing!


14. 14
    on January 25th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
    Amber Star said:

    That whole #13 down thing was pretty catchy. Maybe, Bossy will write all down in a song. I like it.

    I never had thought about the NY football Giants thing before.


15. 15
    on January 25th, 2012 at 4:13 pm
    Lisa said:

    I love sports and I don’t care who knows…


16. 16
    on January 25th, 2012 at 8:28 pm
    krg said:

    can I come to your superbowl party? I love eli and wine.


17. 17
    on January 26th, 2012 at 11:23 am
    Meg at the Members Lounge said:

    It’s true that Manhattan clam chowdah is sacrilege.


18. 18
    on January 27th, 2012 at 9:29 am
    Judy said:

    My favorite part of the Super Bowl is the Puppy Bowl.


19. 19
    on January 27th, 2012 at 6:54 pm
    Gail K. said:

    Can I have an AMEN for Meg at the Members Lounge???

    As for the STUPID BOWL…well, that’s enough about that.


20. 20
    on February 4th, 2012 at 1:43 pm
    Allegra said:

    It’s been 2 weeks since the SF 49ers lost, but I keep thinking we Californians are still in the game because of the whole Giants thing. Heh.