Dec 9, 2008

The Daily Poverty Post.

morning-routine

Bossy has made much before — right here in the pages of this blog — about her morning routine. Do blogs have pages?

And at the center of Bossy’s morning routine is her large enamel mug filled with coffee and that coffee is filled with half & half, and really you just have to trust Bossy when she tells you how integral these cups of coffee are to her morning — even though it’s decaffeinated coffee — and how she warms her cup before pouring coffee from the pot, and about how she warms the coffee pot before making the coffee to begin with.

Other things Bossy does with her coffee: she spills it out when it gets too cold so she can warm her cup again and pour fresh coffee, and readers reader? Bossy has been keeping this secret that has filled her with guilt and confusion because HOW CAN SHE SAY SHE’S NOT WASTEFUL WHILE DUMPING FRESH COFFEE DOWN THE DRAIN EVERY MORNING?

And because Bossy works at home, her mornings last a long time, sometimes straight into evening or even later.

Bossy buys her coffee beans from Trader Joe’s, and it’s $11.99 a pound. Bossy calculates that she probably drinks only half of the overall amount of coffee she purchases, every other minute, from the store.

And Bossy has tried all the tricks: pouring only small amounts of coffee into her cup and other tricks she can’t think of this minute and you will find out why in the next paragraph, but still she dumps this coffee out. Expensive coffee.

So yesterday Bossy began a 5-day cleansing diet, and that diet includes the elimination of coffee — or maybe you already guessed Bossy was on a coffee-eliminating cleansing diet by the way her sentences go nowhe. re.

This cleansing diet has to do with many things, namely Bossy’s lack of self control to temper habits in a more moderate way, but mostly Bossy is looking at it as an opportunity to press her reset button and reevaluate routines.

Bossy won’t be giving up coffee for good, but after living without coffee for a week, Bossy is hoping she will be so grateful for its reintroduction she will commit to reheating the coffee that has gone cold.

Or at least that’s her optimistic plan, where optimistic equals Is it possible that Bossy’s empty stomach is beginning to digest her brain?

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