May 11, 2009
The Daily Poverty Post.
This is the smile Bossy is trying to plaster on her face even though her husband just told her he can’t find the receipt Bossy handed him only one week ago, and even though Bossy and her husband are supposedly becoming more financially organized, and that sound you hear is Bossy’s theory of receipt collection fluttering out the window.
Raise your hand if you think Bossy’s smiley face looks like Kermit the Frog! Or maybe Bossy is trying to distract you from the rest of this post.
The rest of this post: You may already know Bossy is a jogger, and as a jogger she has recently been struggling with a little sports-related condition known as ingrown toenail, which has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Bossy is old as a grandmother and now peppers many conversations with phrases like, “My podiatrist, oy, my podiatrist,” because nothing makes a person feel young and sexy like talking about their podiatrist.
Anyway. Bossy’s podiatrist resolved this sports-related ingrown toenail issue for Bossy at the beginning of the winter, but the problem returned, and so last week Bossy drove back to his office where the podiatrist peeled away Bossy’s face and twisted it up and over her head — or at least that’s the way it felt since Bossy’s sadistic podiatrist failed to use any spray novocaine.
Bossy returned home with a little bandaid on her toe and resumed activity per usual, where activity per usual equals who saw the Oprah show about that woman and the flesh-eating bacteria that digested the entire right side of her body after she barely nicked herself with a kitchen knife?
Unlike Bossy’s last appointment with her podiatrist, oy her podiatrist, this time Bossy’s toe never really stopped hurting — and so now Bossy assumes he missed a little sports-related something during her last appointment. This means Bossy has to return for yet another appointment, and the smiley face you see above represents the receipt for Bossy’s $30 medical insurance co-pay, which she will no doubt have to pay all over again when she returns to his office for the follow-up, except this time Bossy will insist on soaking in an anesthesia bath.
Poor bossy’s toe. Go for the anesthesia bath. Only sadists believe in no pain no gain. Drink a few shots and soak in the anesthesia bath. That should do the trick.
Ouch! My co-pay is $15, so I should consider myself lucky. I hope your toe is better soon.
Bossy,
Please don’t tell me that you and my hot toe doctor have been carrying on behind my back. This is how you become a San Diego Blog bitch without the San Diego Blog part.
Love, Cheri
Bossy: Not necessary to cop a sympathy plea here. I go through this every week with Mrs. Ducks. I download the bank statement Every Saturday morning before the shopping binging occurs and then the good times roll.
Honey, have you any idea what store is at 1567 Main St? Hmm? Do you? Honey, I know your car is a small Honda and the tank will max at about $15. Why is there a bill for $40 from Seal’s Market and Gas Station? Did you also get cash? Hmm? Did you?
Honey I know you’ve been to Hudson’s Salvage Store again. Everything in that bag smells like smoke. Oh that’s nice and another lemon zester. I think we already have three.
Honey – but I only paid a dollar for it.
And those largely are the only licks I get in because Saturday night also usually happens to be sex night.
My cousin gets ingrown toenails all the time and so he takes dental floss and basically flosses his toenail free of skin without a podiatrist. Something to ponder if you don’t feel like those $30 copays!!! Then again, it makes me gag… so you decide which is more important. Your money or my gag reflex.
The same week as “Flesh Eating Bacteria-Today On Oprah”, I sliced a gash into my thumb with a big filthy box cutter.
I spent way less than $30 on first aid supplies and a gallon of Neosporin
You need to talk to my husband–he’s a runner with an ingrown toenail problem. He acts as his own podiatrist. I don’t know what he does, but it involves the pointy part of the toenail clippers, hydrogen peroxide and a bottle of whiskey.
Ow, poor Bossy. I had a similar issue with a finger that got doubly-infected while #1 son was languishing in the hospital for 5 days a few years back. As your podiatrist for antibiotics.
(And, further proof that jogging is of the devil.)
Yes, I saw that Oprah (and saved it on the DVR to show my husband).
Don’t you think your doctor can give you a duplicate receipt?
Hey Audubon Ron – does your wife question every penny that you spend?
Oh Bossy, I had an ingrown toenail that was so bad they had to amputate the nail.
$30 is a pretty hefty co-pay for repeat visits. Check and see if you have to pay a co-pay if they admit you.
Thank GAH I don’t get ingrown toenails after my runs. I just get black toenails that eventually fall off during sandal season.
Good times.
Oh, sympathy for Bossy. Those toenails sure can hurt! You’re very smart to get it properly dealt with though. Medical money like this (and in your case maybe wine can be counted as “medicinal”?) doesn’t really count when you’re cutting back — your feet come first!
See if they will consider the visit as a follow-up to the procedure…..no add’t co-pay!
Oh I really feel for Bossy! I’ve had my ingrown toenail removed twice (involving needles in the toe). Second time around fixed it like a champ since we made sure it wouldn’t come back. Now I just have to live with an ugly nail.
Just fly down here and see my podiatrist. He fixed mine up in a jiffy the first time. However, I had a gigantic bandage on my toe which I bled through by the time I got home. They told me to just add more roller bandage to the thing.
For my poverty post…geeze louise…my visit to the rheumatologist and the xrays ($2,500) and lab work ($800) and office visit ($300), well, the upside is that I’m now in major medical.
Two of my sons were perpetual victims of ingrown toenails.
They, like Grandma J (I can’t WAIT to tell them they’re just like a Grandma!) had their toenails removed. Hideously ugly, but it certainly beats the throbbing, oozing, awfulness they endured the majority of the time.
I hope yours gets fixed in a less painful, ugly way.
Maybe jog backwards?
I had to mute that part of the Flesh Eating bacteria on Oprah. I had to finish eating. Once I saw what was left of that woman’s shoulder and chest, I nearly puked.
actually you shouldn’t have to pay a co-pay for a follow up visit. The follow up visit is just part 2 of the first visit so it’s already paid for. At least that is how it works with my daughters insurance. She goes to the doctor a lot. When they ask for your co pay just say ‘ I thought I didn’t have a co-pay because it’s a follow up visit.’
Poor Bossy! I hope your toe is better very soon. And you can ask your doctor’s office for a copy of your previous receipt, they should be able to just print it out. And I think a follow-up should involve no additional co-pay as well. Can’t hurt to ask!
Bossy–I too was a competitive runner [once]. The only real way to rid yourself of the ingrown toe nail is to have the podiatrist remove the root with acid. They will essentially cut away a small strip of nail on both sides of your toe and leave the middle part.
Hurts like heck for a good while (you will think they are peeling away more than your face) but solves the problem for life. I had mine done 8 years ago and haven’t had any issues since!
Good luck!
I saw that Oprah, and it scared the shiznit out of me. I’m convinced that celery is evil.
I’m getting a little queasy from reading about all the ingrown toe issues there are out there in BossyLand. Who knew. I certainly didn’t. Not to mention the flesh-eating-bacteria which I DID know about as it (they?) attacked a close friend’s dad. His arm survived, but barely.
On the practical side, I’m with #20/sevedra.
CURE: Cut off own toe. Stop running. Drink more martinis.
And thus, you won’t need no stinkin’ doctor with their stinkin’ copays.
You know in My Big Fat Greek Wedding where the dad thought Windex was the cure for everything? I think Hydrogen Peroxide is the cure for most household evils. Try pouring it on your toe. It will bubble like heck, but not really hurt. If it’s not better in the morning, you could try the Windex.
Do you wear properly-fitting shoes?