Oct 26, 2009

The Daily Poverty Post

You are looking at Bossy’s husband’s hand, and in that hand is his latest project. Just a little something he whipped up in his free time spent not removing mushrooms from backyards.

Here’s the deal: you know how grocery stores and office supply stores and drugstores and video stores and sister mercy too many stores require you to carry some sort of discount club card or store saver card or membership card and sister mercy too many cards?

And of course the worst part is that the store will not give you the discount if you don’t have one of these many cards, which isn’t really a discount at all but rather the regular price but please gah do not get Bossy started about that brand of ridiculousness.

And so you have to carry these many cards around, and when fumbling for them in her wallet Bossy is all, “Is this it? No that’s a library card. Is this it? No, that’s the AAA card,” until she loses all will to live.

Enter Bossy’s husband: he took all of those cards to a copy center and then he, yeah, that would be copied them. And then he stood there at one of those little stations and cut out all of the bar codes using the store’s Swine Flu scissors. And then he borrowed the store’s Swine Flu glue stick to assemble all of them in one place, labeling each bar code with an initial so the correct one can be scanned in the corresponding store. And then he xeroxed that and cut the results down to the size of a card, which he then laminated with the help of the store’s Swine Flu laminator.

And while he was at it, he made two copies — one for Bossy, since they share all of the same stores and discount clubs and memberships! Oh wait, no he didn’t.

There! Easy!

What have you been up to, Poverty Party guests?

permanent link to post

35 comments

1. 1
   on October 26th, 2009 at 8:18 am
   Martha in Kansas said:

   Great idea!


2. 2
   on October 26th, 2009 at 8:49 am
   Bobbie said:

   Don’t your stores give out the teeny tiny little cards with holes in them to attach to your key chain?


3. 3
   on October 26th, 2009 at 8:56 am
   BOSSY said:

   Don’t know about you, but Bossy’s keychain is already too encumbered. Not that Bossy’s husband made her a laminate like his, as we’ve already established.


4. 4
   on October 26th, 2009 at 9:06 am
   vuboq said:

   Usually, I never have the cards with me so I give them my “phone number” (yes, it’s a phone number I had 10 years ago and probably belongs to someone else now. What? I don’t want all those crazy stores calling me with their “specials”).


5. 5
   on October 26th, 2009 at 9:07 am
   vuboq said:

   Grammar police, please don’t arrest vuboq for that poorly constructed comment. The coffee hasn’t kicked in yet. *smooches*


6. 6
   on October 26th, 2009 at 9:20 am
   thatgirlblogs said:

   am worried about bossy’s husband. next he will be shouting about the number of hot dog buns vs hot dogs in a pack, like steve martin in father of the bride.

   or, he’s a genius.


7. 7
   on October 26th, 2009 at 9:31 am
   Tuli said:

   Bossy’s husband is bloody brilliant! I am going to shamelessly steal this idea and do this to my own cards!


8. 8
   on October 26th, 2009 at 9:43 am
   Emily said:

   You can do the same thing here!

   http://www.justoneclubcard.com/


9. 9
   on October 26th, 2009 at 9:46 am
   Joie said:

   The iPhone has an app for that called Cardstar. I love my iPhone. To hell with poverty.


10. 10
    on October 26th, 2009 at 9:50 am
    21st Century Housewife said:

    My contribution to the poverty party is that I went to a thrift store to buy the makings of a slammin’ Halloween costume — but couldn’t find anything that appealed — so I spent let’s just say way too much money at Party City for a costume that I will never wear again, or maybe I’ll pick my kids up from school in it because there’s a therapy topic for when they go on Oprah!


11. 11
    on October 26th, 2009 at 10:07 am
    BH said:

    BH say keychain cards just as heinous as wallet cards.


12. 12
    on October 26th, 2009 at 10:42 am
    Ris said:

    Brilliant! I’ve been…shopping at Goodwill and walking instead of paying for public transportation. Sigh.


13. 13
    on October 26th, 2009 at 10:45 am
    Debby said:

    They’re gonna want to see some ID


14. 14
    on October 26th, 2009 at 11:39 am
    reen said:

    I like it! Very clever, BH! Now run back and make a copy for poor card-encumbered Bossy!


15. 15
    on October 26th, 2009 at 11:45 am
    Lizzy said:

    Still giggling about the SWINE FLU scissors…


16. 16
    on October 26th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
    v. said:

    After that divorce reference last Friday, I’m so absurdly happy to see Bossy’s husband’s hand make a guest appearance on the blog. Plus, what a brilliant idea!


17. 17
    on October 26th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
    Cactus Petunia said:

    Bossy’s husband is a genius! And he’s right about the little keychain cards…mine are held together with a paperclip and must be fished out of the bottom of my purse every time.

    I’m happy I’m not the last one left at the Poverty Party…now pass me that wine bottle, would ya Bossy?


18. 18
    on October 26th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
    Little Miss Sunshine State said:

    I just got back from that Giant Orange Hardware Megastore. They had 4-foot Cascade Palm trees for $7.97 each.

    I bought 4. As soon as they’re out of the car, I’ll take pictures.


19. 19
    on October 26th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
    Lovelyn said:

    Bossy’s husband is a genius.


20. 20
    on October 26th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
    La Suzette said:

    I totally do not get the Swine Flu scissors because I, unlike Bossy’s Husband, am NOT a genius. However, I hate, Hate, HATE the whole club card BS! And I, unlike Bossy, am unashamed to “get started” on it! It infuriates me that they all mark up their already absurd prices so I can pretend I saved money. I don’t want sales and specials – I want your absolute best price EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR!

    Now pass me that wine bottle, would ya Bossy?


21. 21
    on October 26th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
    janet said:

    But, but, but …how does the store scan jonly the appropriate one of those barcodes?


22. 22
    on October 27th, 2009 at 1:42 am
    Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy said:

    Bravo! I have so many cards in my wallet it’s ridunkulous. For the Poverty Party, I left two pairs of shoes at the store today. Shoes I’m still thinking about. Really cute shoes. Only a few left in my size shoes. Don’t be surprised if they show up in my closet later this week shoes.


23. 23
    on October 27th, 2009 at 8:09 am
    The Domestic Goddess said:

    BRILLIANT!


24. 24
    on October 27th, 2009 at 9:50 am
    Bridget said:

    Bossy’s husband is the smartest person I know.


25. 25
    on October 27th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
    sevedra said:

    I am trying to get back into the swing of the Poverty Party. I posted a bit today about spending less. I plan to post again about that in a few days. Here is the link to today’s post:

    http://wimbittworld.wordpress.com/2009/10/27/free-costumes-and-christmas-news/


26. 26
    on October 27th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
    Heather T said:

    Bossy’s husband is very clever. Very, very clever. He should patent these ideas. But then you would be out of poverty and the rest of us would be left holding the bag. Or the laminated member’s clubs card.


27. 27
    on October 28th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
    sevedra said:

    Made another poverty post today

    http://wimbittworld.wordpress.com/2009/10/28/i-did-it/


28. 28
    on October 29th, 2009 at 10:50 am
    Erin said:

    There’s an app for that:

    http://www.mycardstar.com/

    The app is free. Only costs a $500 iPhone.


29. 29
    on October 29th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
    David said:

    Color me impressed. And can we talk about a certain sexy wrist?


30. 30
    on October 29th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
    Lori said:

    I better not show this to The Boy, he’s been talking about trying to come up with something that would accomplish the same thing for a year now but his idea was way too complicated…

    Very smart idea Bossy’s Husband.


31. 31
    on October 30th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
    Reeb said:

    Huh. Now I don’t have an excuse to wiggle out of all my grocery stores’ member-reduction-points-whatever cards. I agree with BH and Bossy, those little hole-punched keychain cards are as bad as a handfull of big ones. Very clever!


32. 32
    on October 30th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
    Reeb said:

    Interesting bracelet(s) by the way, BH.


33. 33
    on November 2nd, 2009 at 8:24 am
    janny226 said:

    Awesome idea! My keyring is getting so overrun with them that I can hardly find my keys anymore. Plus they rub against the keys and then the scanners won’t scan ‘em and then where am I? nowhere.

    Speaking of which, perhaps this one is the Beta version and he will make Bossy one once the kinks are worked out. (Smart husbands deserve the benefit of the doubt sometimes. They also deserve hints about how they’re so smart to make his wife one.)


34. 34
    on November 3rd, 2009 at 10:42 pm
    Know it All said:

    Can BH do this for me?


35. 35
    on December 7th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
    CD said:

    There is a new app for Google Android cell phones called key ring that does the same thing it also puts the stores logo next to your card this way you can easly slect the right one… Great app!!!!!1