Oct 14, 2008
Ten-Word Tuesday.
Every morning of Bossy’s childhood began with a pot of hot chocolate. Or, every morning that Bossy’s milk fanatic family remembered to buy milk, which was surprisingly difficult considering that if the family fell from their high rise windows they would land in a food market, but you get Bossy’s point: she consumed an ocean of hot chocolate.
Made rich and smooth, hot chocolate was the perfect foil for the slices of dripping buttered white toast that accompanied it. And this is the brand of hot chocolate mix that made it possible:
Fast forward a few decades. Every morning of Bossy’s adult life, Bossy prepares a pot of hot chocolate for her daughter. And if Bossy’s daughter were here she’d be all, “Not every morning!” But you get Bossy’s point: she has prepared an ocean of hot chocolate:
Only: something is different and weird these days about the chocolate mixes. Bossy abandoned the powder brands because the chocolate granules never assimilate with the milk, and yes Bossy used the word assimilate when describing hot chocolate.
And so Bossy switched over to the chocolate syrup pictured above. But the chocolate syrup is not the chocolate syrup of Bossy’s youth, when her Grandma Charlotte would prepare a river of chocolate milk for Bossy as the two of them sat in her grandmother’s kitchen watching Merv Griffin on the portable black-and-white TV.
These days, it takes a steady stream of chocolate syrup poured into the waiting milk, and the milk is still bland and white. But pour more chocolate syrup and suddenly the milk turns black and tastes like an ashtray; a powdery ashtray. Don’t ask Bossy how she knows.
Other things that are different now compared to Bossy’s youth: chocolate pop tarts. The chocolate filling is too runny and weird, and the frosted chocolate topping is too plastic-like.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about a product that isn’t the way you remember it in your youth?
And be sure to check back later today for the biggest product failings on the web.
Optimus Prime, the Transformer, went from die-cast metal to plastic.
Oreos – the filling just doesn’t taste the same to me.
Cracker Jacks.
Once a delicious treat, now stale chemical cardboard.
Melamine – in my day we ate our poison, now headlines!
Bossy now has “keep reading”. I miss the old days.
In Optimistic Twist, Jamie Announces Blue Box Mac Still Identical
I will agree with Kristin: Cracker Jacks are changed!
Alpha-bets cereal used to be a favorite. They put it out on the shelves again a couple years ago… then they “improved” it and made it horrible. Now it’s gone again.
Coors extra gold beer – hasn’t been the same since 1980.
Twinkies. Wasn’t there more filling inside when we were kids?
NOTHING tastes like it did when I was a kid.
Smiths Crisps. Taken over by Walkers and put in foil wrappers to their detriment.
OK, that’s ten words if you take out two letter words which just don’t count!
Must disagree with Jamie, blue box mac not cheesy enough.
McDonald’s french fries. Not the same without the beef tallow.
Boil-in-bag salisbury steaks were huge, now like a silver dollar.
Store-bought cookies were such a treat. Now just taste dry.
Jello chocolate pudding mix. Same old skin, but less chocolatey.
Mallo Cups. Saving up the points inside to redeem a prize.
Kool-Aid is just too sweet, but I blame my tastebuds.
Yodels in individual foil wrappers tasted much better. No question.
Girl Scout thin mints, still good but not as good
McDonald’s nuggets. Now all white meat. Funky bits tasted better
McNuggets and fries pleased girl who hates burgers. No longer.
Strawberry Fruit Roll-Ups USED to have seeds. Now ALL artificial.
S’mores! They’re GROSS now. Didn’t they used to be yummy???
Coca-Cola in glass bottles, pulled from those cool Coke machines.
Gummy Bears – fruity as kid, now like chewing dried glue.
My youth was not long ago enough for much change.
PB&J not the same without watching Underdog and Magilla Gorilla
Dr Pepper – no more cane sugar – high fructose corn syrup – bleh
Is it me that has changed, or the hostess cupcakes?
choc pudding..whaaaaaaa. they upgraded and downgraded all in one fell swoop. Its just not the same.
Big League Chew. Used to be fun, now it’s gross.
Bonomo Taffy and Pine Bros. “cough” drops – BRING EM BAAAACCCCCKKKKKKKKK!
Yogurt used to be in cup-size cups and was SOUR!
In other (more than 10 words news:)
Twinkies didn’t taste like banananananas and had more filling and didn’t ALWAYS lose their tops to the cellophane wrapper.
EVERYTHING used to be bigger, better and good for you.
Sorry, I just can’t get past the concept of chocolate milk for breakfast.
When Coke switched to artificial sweetners, they lost me forever.
(But I don’t drink anything fizzy anymore unless there’s alcohol in it.)
KFC was delicious Kentucky Fried Chicken. Now just too greasy.
Used to love Cap’n Crunch. Wouldn’t feed to dogs now.
I used to love Tang, but now I think it is disgusting.
Kitchen Fresh Chicken (KFC) isn’t the same as Kentucky Fried Chicken
Strawberry Quik tasted so strawberrily delicious – now just ew.
Stella Dora Cookies. No jelly filled and barely any frosted!
Why must I click “keep reading post”? Stop the hate!
That New fangled Testament ain’t nothin’ like the Old one.
(Coke was already taken)
Fruit used to be divine, now it’s grown for transit.
Count Chocula: deliciously sugary, now high-fructose and cardboard boring.
Ring Dings were HUGE in Tin Foil, now just tiny.
Honeycomb lost its big big bite and big big taste.
One more thing that’s changed for the worse: Kid’s birthday parties. In the olden days, we were served cake and ice cream. My kid gets a shard of an oversized subpar chocolate chip cookie. I just ranted about this on my blog.
Double Stuffed Oreos. Double is now single!
Viena Sausages were so yum but now the smell makes me vomit!
Tab is non-cancerous, but the flavor now is dreck!
Foil made Ding Dongs taste better, plastic wrapper sucks.
Jell-o Pudding Pops – now without Cosby sweaters AND also unlocatable!
Candy cigarettes, now they are socially unacceptable for no reason.
Rock music. Now get off my yard you kids!
Milk now from a store. Used to draw from tank.
What? Bossy’s grandma didn’t serve up Ovaltine and Maypo cereal?
Milk with the cream on top in glass bottles and paper top. Yes, I’m old. My mom saved the cream to put on the 30-minute oatmeal she made for me every morning before school, bless her heart. All produce from grocery stores; everything tastes the same. yuck.
coca cola – no corn syrup, real sugar, real TASTE! (sob)
High fructose corn syrup ruins everything. Real cocoa – what’s that?
Used to love Wendy’s frosties, now just sweet chemical taste.
Ritz crackers, they used to be so buttery and flaky.
[Incidentally I can't eat them anymore anyway as I'm gluten free but I KNOW they are yucky now--I've had them in the last few years.]
Trix used to be in the shapes of the fruity flavors……
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES
SMALLER , LESS IN QUANTITY AND MORE COSTLY
McDonald’s French Fries (thanks government for deciding I did not need transfat and thanks VEGANS for deciding those fries can’t be injected with beef juice)
Oreos – transfat again
Ice cream sandwiches. They taste fake now.
Tontino’s frozen pizza…not the same without Kukla, Fran and Ollie.
Loved Arby’s when sandwiches came from side of beef roasted in-store!
Candy used to be delicious, now it makes belly ache.
Okay, I’m not really participating… I’m just here to say Holy Hell, I love chocolate milk!
Bonne Belle Lip Smackers. Used to come in huge tubes.
Froot Loops
Two things to say:
For some reason the makeover has made Bossy disappear from my GoogleReader–I’ll have to look into that.
Not “Continue Reading?!” I’m sure I remember Bossy being against this feature. Say it ain’t so Bossy!
1) High fructose corn syrup ruined everything that once contained sugar.
2) Gluten and high fructose corn syrup will kill us all.
3) I firmly believe lots of wine makes everything taste better.
4) Fight flavorless foods and killer ingredients by drinking more wine.
5) I’ll stop now, but I am adamant about the wine.
Kix cereal used to be delicious and sort of heavy in my cereal bowl. now it’s a bunch of sugar coated, air filled puff balls. i still eat them anyway.
Wait! Kukla, Fran and Ollie.
I used to have a crush on Ollie, the 1 toothed dragon.
What a man, what a sweetheart.
And remember Madamogglepuss?
All the favorite candies of my youth now taste uninteresting.
The fluffy goodness of 3 Musketeers polluted by MINT – WTF?!
Non-local produce was once exotic, but now it is tasteless.
Hershey now uses Veggie Oil, no more Cocoa butter. Nasty.
Tastykakes. I miss the waxed paper. Still pretty good though!
A roll of Smarties, once tangy and sweet…
now chalky.
A) Hostess Twinkies and B) Miracle Whip. The latter because I think those bastards at Kraft changed the formula.
All the toys are cheap and break much faster nowadays..
I swear Twinkies used to be bigger than my arm.
Alphabits cereal and Trix cereal. They’ve changed both formulas somehow.
Strawberry Shortcake. The wholesome children’s character, not the delicious dessert.
Hmm, I don’t know. I’m a glass half full kind of gal, so I can’t think of anything.
Smarties (but I’m from Canada, so the Canadian Smarties – candy covered chocolate – like M&M’s – only SUGARIER) – They used to be a wonderful candy crunch followed by milky chocolate – now they’re a chemically tasting crunch followed by waxy chocolate – Sighhhhhh…..
Umm, what’s the assignment? I’ve got a sugar high just reading these.
(Not even trying for 10 words.)
Comments on iambossy even FUNNIER after three glasses of wine!
Mom’s scary green jello with canned grapes. Ew. Good riddance.
I’ts not exactly a “product” (I had to reread the instructions) but this is something from my past that my sister and I still shudder over.
Reader’s Digest: once a fun read, now just bores me.
Everything. High fructose corn syrup has ruined the good stuff.
Jeno’s pizza rolls – have they really always been so greasy?
Velvetta Cheese used to be unimaginably yummy… now It makes me shudder.
Can’t find Concord Grape Poptarts anymore – I loved them, waaaahhhhh!!!!
Lipton Blackberry tea no longer strong but acidic and tart
High fructose corn syrup has ruined all sugary snack goodness.
Bossy’s site doesn’t remember me any more; have to type.
Artificial sweeteners in almost everything with no warnings; cancer, anyone?
“Pepperidge Farms remembers”, my ass. They all taste terrible now.
Nothing is sacred. Had to change the recipe for my daughter – now it’s a stove top deal: real cocoa powder cooked with water, twice the sugar and a pinch of salt to make a syrup, then stirred into warming milk (careful not to burn) and drops of real vanilla. Mmmm….pot of hot chocolate…(ooop! Over 10. I’m new.)
One box of Tide becomes a tidal wave of choices.
It’s Its – Those ice cream sandwhiches were much bigger and better when I was a kid.
McDonald’s apple pies used to be FRIED. Cherry’s better, anyway.
barbies used to be awesome. now they are just anorexic.
Winn’s 5&10 Halloween candy, Big soft Sweet-tarts, Gone forever sadly.
It’s not a food, but Love’s Baby Soft is NOT the same scent it used to be. Now it’s all alcohol-y and cheap smelling. It used to be soft and pretty. I swear it!
Shoot. forgot about the 10 word thing. Sorry,
No Bossy in reader. Why is Bossy a no show?
I would love to send Bossy homemade hot chocolate mix.
Screaming Yellow Zonkers. If you can even find those sumbitches.
Space Food Sticks – chocolaty, chewy goodness. Now, gummy, chemical glop.
Diet Dr. Pepper with saccharine satisfied now with Splenda revolting!
Dairy Queen anything: once fudgy rich, now watery and chalky.
Nestle Chocolate minibars. Now a chocolate snob. HATE all others.
Long ropes of black licorice/my favorite childhood candy-gone.
Everything has HFCS now instead of regular sugar…Yuck-O.
Jumping Jacks. Once a fun activity. Now – No thank you.
Org. cocoa powder mixed with honey into syrup – add to milk on stove
Mum’s chocolate sauce on pears, chewy in a good way!
Suicide fountain drinks. Orange + Cola + Sprite + Rootbeer + Strawberry + Mr. Pibb = yuck!
Bossy rocks keep reading post….
Screwballs from the ice cream truck aren’t as tart anymore.
Quaker Oats – changed the box. Once pulled string to open.
Fluffer-nutter sandwiches. PB and gooey marshmallow fluff spread on white bread.
Are Honeycomb cereal and Kix cereal individual pieces smaller now?
I use to love spagettios, now they taste like vomit.
Someone mentioned Twinkies, I agree, something isn’t quite the same.
Okay, today is Wednesday, I’m a day late for 10 word Tuesday, but it was fun.
I can’t manage the ten word thing, besides today is Wednesday so technically I’m exempt. Yes?
About the hot chocolate mix…if you have a British Food store nearby (it has to be a true import store, so yeah, it’s gonna be pricey, but I’m married to a Brit, so some things we DO NOT skimp on) get Cadbury’s “drinking chocolate” mix. You mix it with hot milk and it’s WONDERFUL! Once you’ve had it, I promise you, you will never ever go back to anything you can get at your local stop-n-shoppe ever again!
Big Gramma burgers cooked in iron skillet …now lean beef. Meh!
Whopper from BK–what happened to the whopper size?
Everlasting Gobstoppers and Candy Cigarettes. Can’t find them to test.
Candy cigarettes: Get ‘em at mall candy store now, Claire!
(BTW, I thought I was the only one who dipped buttered white toast into hot chocolate. Glad to know that back in the day, young Bossy and I were doing the same thing! There was no better bedtime snack than toast and hot chocolate.)
Parmesean goldfish lost some of their parm.
Wagon Wheels! lunchbox memories..
Half the size they once were..
Wheat germ on ice cream. Loved it, now I don’t.
Dip in a chip and vegetable thins, not the same.
And Mother’s Circus Animal Cookies discontinued. Boo.
Tangy Taffy was once great; now I can’t find it!
Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. Now made with cheaper ingredients.
I agree: Kraft MacandCheese is the same, McDonald’s fries WRONG!
Wheat Germ in my cereal. GERMS! Eww! Today? Still gross!
Sweettarts were once huge and tangy; now small and sour.
Now I must immediately make hot chocolate and toast.
[...] In her own childhood, Bossy and her brother knew how to give a loaf of bread hell — and the more the white flour gluten and high fructose corn syrup the better. Bossy and her brother would pass in and out of toast stages. Sometimes it was butter and jelly, but mostly it was butter and cinnamon sugar, dunked in hot chocolate prepared with this vintage powdered chocolate mix. [...]
ho-ho’s. They used to be wrapped in tin foil, which I would collect and had a gargantuan HUMUNGOUS ball of ho-ho tin foil until I joined the Air Force and my mother tossed it out (bitch)… now they’re in some faux tin hermetically sealed shit and taste like… the wrapper