Aug 11, 2009

Ten-Word Tuesday. A Vacation Phenomenon.

The above photo depicts a vacation phenomenon. Actually it depicts at least two vacation phenomenons, possibly three — no wait, four. Five.

The first vacation phenomenon depicted in the above photo: there is no plural for phenomenon, or so says spell check. Perhaps phenomenon is already the plural and phenomena is the singular and phenom is the lazy bastard cousin.

The second vacation phenomenon regarding the above photo would have to be the alternate photo Bossy shot for the purpose of this Ten-Word Tuesday, which she doesn’t want to post here OK if you insist because in this alternate photo Bossy’s shadow is so revolting Bossy wouldn’t be able to sleep with it for all the money in the world, through all eternity:

The third vacation phenomenon depicted by the above photo: when Bossy swims in the lake near her campground she gets what she likes to call Lake Champlain Hair, which is smooth and manageable and exactly like the Lake Champlain Hair you see pictured above, except way cuter and less frizzy and not really at all like the Lake Champlain hair captured in these photos so quit asking.

The real, or if you are one of those pesky enumerating types, fourth vacation phenomenon: many many lord why so many years ago, Bossy’s mom gave Bossy a classic white shirt. Except this classic white shirt didn’t seem especially classic, since it was always too stiff and thick, like canvas. And so Bossy could never get herself to wear this shirt, even though Bossy would optimistically try it on again and again, with many different things, before changing into something better else.

Here’s the phenomenon part: Bossy decided to pack this very shirt for her camping trip — you know, in case Bossy was in the just right situation that called for a stiff thick canvassy thing.

Well, it turns out Bossy wore this shirt every minute of every day during her vacation. Bossy layered this shirt over tank tops during the day, she wore this shirt over dresses to keep warm at night, she wore it over her bathing suit to keep from getting sunburnt, she wore it, wore it, and then wore it.

Bossy doesn’t know what it is about vacations that allow the usage of an otherwise ignored article of clothing, just like Bossy doesn’t know what it is about vacations that lead us to purchase tie-dye sarongs we just know we’re going to wear to dinner parties for the rest of our lives but end up abandoning as soon as the jet is taxiing on the runway out of Catalina, which leads Bossy to the last and final vacation phenomenon:

Bossy purchased these fake pink crocks at the campground grocery store last year for a few dollars, which is arguable four dollars too many. Except just to spite her retching son, Bossy proceeded to wear these crocks every minute of that camping vacation, and again this year, in and out of tile showers and muddy campsites and even to the occasional thai restaurant in the local city.

But take these same fake pink crocks, please, and stick them on the back porch in Bossy’s house and they’ll collect an inordinate amount of dust.

Bossy can sum up her vacation clothing phenomenon this way: The wide-brimmed straw hat from Mexico? Never worn once home.

Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about an item of clothing you have worn or purchased on vacation that is perfect in those surroundings but doesn’t translate to your everyday wardrobe once you get home?

And be sure to check back later today for the most abandoned clothing items on the web.

If you missed last week’s Ten-Word Challenge, Top Chef Vacation, when Bossy’s council enumerated the foods they associate with vacations — in ten words — then click here. Bossy hates the thought of you missing these creative comments.

permanent link to post

91 comments

1. 1
   on August 11th, 2009 at 8:37 am
   Acher said:

   Cute ivory embrodered dress bartered for in Mexico hangs lonely.


2. 2
   on August 11th, 2009 at 8:44 am
   The Great Getzby said:

   ultra v-neck ceremonial Japanese tee: failed under scrutiny of peers.


3. 3
   on August 11th, 2009 at 8:54 am
   amy said:

   Indian sarong bought in England, altered, appropriate nowhere.


4. 4
   on August 11th, 2009 at 9:01 am
   chocolatechic said:

   I’ve only had vacations from hell, so I don’t purchase anything. EVER.


5. 5
   on August 11th, 2009 at 9:04 am
   The Domstic Goddess said:

   Ugly sunglasses from Utah purchased as an emergency pair.


6. 6
   on August 11th, 2009 at 9:18 am
   Amy said:

   Black straw cowboy hat perfect for Jazz Fest. Indianapolis? No.


7. 7
   on August 11th, 2009 at 9:18 am
   Tasha said:

   Wide red belt. Bad call on that. Psst, it’s “phenomena.”


8. 8
   on August 11th, 2009 at 9:26 am
   Jamie said:

   Poster from Memphis in May festival has hung nowhere. Ever.


9. 9
   on August 11th, 2009 at 9:30 am
   sherry said:

   Sleeveless turquoise linen dress. Perfect for sunburny skin, otherwise yecch!


10. 10
    on August 11th, 2009 at 9:35 am
    Meg at the Members Lounge said:

    Straw hat bought in Napa. Only looks good at wineries.


11. 11
    on August 11th, 2009 at 9:37 am
    Martie said:

    The ugly shirt: “one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor”.


12. 12
    on August 11th, 2009 at 9:56 am
    Debby said:

    St. Maarten Caribbean “outfit” insists on laughing from my closet


13. 13
    on August 11th, 2009 at 10:04 am
    Sue V. said:

    Floral sarong, bought in Hawaii, now daughters fav dress-up item.


14. 14
    on August 11th, 2009 at 10:10 am
    Niki in Baltimore said:

    Hawaiian shirt great on cruise; shamefully hides in Maryland closet.


15. 15
    on August 11th, 2009 at 10:27 am
    Hokie Deb said:

    –>@ 11, Begging for cowboy boots after Calgary Stampede. Never worn.


16. 16
    on August 11th, 2009 at 10:53 am
    Jennifer said:

    Tiara from Magic Kingdom
    in drawer
    begs for freedom

    *Bossy, how I love being forced to rhyme in ten words EXCACTLY. Great fun!!*


17. 17
    on August 11th, 2009 at 10:53 am
    Reeb said:

    Who wears summery small bare dresses in Pacific Northwest?
    (9)

    MATCHING Hawaiian gear, wore together to embarrass sister. Embarrassed ourselves instead.
    (11)


18. 18
    on August 11th, 2009 at 10:55 am
    Jennifer said:

    Except I should really review befor posting as my fingers missed the “the” that should have been in there.

    Tiara from Magic Kingdom
    in the drawer
    begs for freedom


19. 19
    on August 11th, 2009 at 11:01 am
    Jacquie said:

    Irresistibly clever shirt from a Charleston bar that says: “w.y.b.m.a.d.i.i.t.y?”


20. 20
    on August 11th, 2009 at 11:01 am
    Gail K. said:

    Caribbean blue print capris for cruise don’t fly in Ohio.


21. 21
    on August 11th, 2009 at 11:14 am
    Cindy said:

    Fleece Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt.
    Huge Pictorial.
    Closing eyes now.


22. 22
    on August 11th, 2009 at 11:39 am
    Stacey Ball said:

    Straw cowboy hat. Mexico, super cute. Local pool, jack ass.


23. 23
    on August 11th, 2009 at 11:39 am
    Tracy (Oklahoma) said:

    Oh….how about the matching Mexican outfits my husband and I purchased in Manzanillo, Mexico. (Mine happened to be a skirt and top that matched his shirt and pants.) All flowy and gauzy and stuff. You get the picture. It seemed appropriate at the time and went well with the music over there! We were thinking about having a Mexican themed party just so we could wear them again….although I doubt we would.


24. 24
    on August 11th, 2009 at 11:40 am
    Tracy (Oklahoma) said:

    Sorry…forgot it was Ten- Word Tuesday.


25. 25
    on August 11th, 2009 at 11:48 am
    Audubon Ron said:

    Thank goodness for mossy oak and real tree camo underwear.


26. 26
    on August 11th, 2009 at 11:50 am
    MariaV said:

    Green Mandarin gown bought in New Orleans yearns to shine


27. 27
    on August 11th, 2009 at 11:52 am
    Helen said:

    Not clothes… MUSIC! Turkish pop, Indonesian chants… sounds awful home.


28. 28
    on August 11th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
    Sue said:

    Swimsuit, I’ll not traumatize my locals with dimply, white thighs


29. 29
    on August 11th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
    ranchgirl said:

    Batwing sweatshirt with Soviet flag stamped on it misses Leningrad.


30. 30
    on August 11th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
    AnnP said:

    Paris: dangly black scarf…perfect! Home: House of Bernarda Alba. *sigh*


31. 31
    on August 11th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
    ~Monkey said:

    Batwing and sweatshirt–two words I’ve never seen together before.


32. 32
    on August 11th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
    Liz said:

    Beautiful (expensive) silky pink top from Paris. Never worn once.


33. 33
    on August 11th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
    Liz said:

    Hot little dress in Vegas = I look like a prostitute.


34. 34
    on August 11th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
    pam said:

    Pink crocs make me want to throw-up too, Bossy’s son.


35. 35
    on August 11th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
    JennC said:

    Pirate-themed Mickey ears seemed like a good idea at the time…


36. 36
    on August 11th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
    karen l said:

    tie-dye sarong, fold up tote bag, floppy brim straw hat.


37. 37
    on August 11th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
    Emily said:

    Expensive gauzy bathing-suit cover. Useless article at local pool.


38. 38
    on August 11th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
    janice said:

    Many layered, snot green peasant shirt with sparkly ribbons throughout.


39. 39
    on August 11th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
    biddy said:

    15 kangas purchased in kenya sit in the garage, unworn.


40. 40
    on August 11th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
    reen said:

    Any and all of 5,000 local Harley shop T-shirts: Why??


41. 41
    on August 11th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
    Fabs said:

    Cowboy hat in Las Vegas, doesn’t seem to fit in back in Alaska….


42. 42
    on August 11th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
    Sallie said:

    Palm hat “custom” woven — Grenada. Never worn off-island. Worth it!


43. 43
    on August 11th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
    jodi said:

    Straw cowboy hat in Tahoe…not so much in Pittsburgh.


44. 44
    on August 11th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
    BOSSY said:

    Little Italian dress; stolen out of the trunk before worn.


45. 45
    on August 11th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
    Scottsdale Girl said:

    Gauzy halter from Mexico…$80 sandals from Greece


46. 46
    on August 11th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
    Scottsdale Girl said:

    Halter DRESS


47. 47
    on August 11th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
    Dawn in Austin said:

    Beaded bikini, big feathered headpiece, tons of rum- Trinidad Carnival


48. 48
    on August 11th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
    Meredith said:

    Doomed southern family vacation, straw bowler. Looks riduculous in NYC.


49. 49
    on August 11th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
    Twice Five Miles said:

    Multi-layered sarongs: Perfect in Key West, not so much Vermont.


50. 50
    on August 11th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
    Nancy said:

    The cowboy hat sold on the beach in Los Cabos Mexico. I didn’t buy one because I just knew how ridiculous it would look anywhere else. Of course my daughter bought one and it looks really good sitting in her closet.


51. 51
    on August 11th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
    BossysMom said:

    Severe black manish suit bought in Paris. Sold to wannabe.


52. 52
    on August 11th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
    BOSSY said:

    Really, these hiking boots will get worn plenty in city.


53. 53
    on August 11th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
    NEG said:

    Tie-dye sarong bought at beach, husband hated, said SO WRONG!


54. 54
    on August 11th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
    Kait said:

    White hat w/feather
    Oh how faboo
    Stuffed bear wear only


55. 55
    on August 11th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
    Bush Babe said:

    Vacation? What’s a vacation? Bather disintegrating in drawers. I think.


56. 56
    on August 11th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
    Bush Babe said:

    Vacation? What’s a vacation? Bather disintegrating in drawers. I think.


57. 57
    on August 11th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
    Reeb said:

    Scottsdale Girl, I liked envisioning a gauzy HALTER on someone.


58. 58
    on August 11th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
    ZDub said:

    Rasta hat with dreads from Amsterdam.

    HORRIBLE idea throughout UNIVERSE.


59. 59
    on August 11th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
    Kathy said:

    Sarong from hawaii


60. 60
    on August 11th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
    Mack said:

    Junior’s Clothes, Target Swimwear, Sunblock, Pearl Thong, iPod, Fannie Pack


61. 61
    on August 11th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
    Ruth said:

    Backpack… sounded like a good idea. for vacation. Never used it.
    Someone bought me a Hawaiian mumu on THEIR vacation UGH


62. 62
    on August 11th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
    Dharmamama said:

    Gargantuan ass squeezing Bart Simpson: “Crack Kills”. St.Paddy’s 1989 only.


63. 63
    on August 11th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
    Renee in Seattle said:

    Every single hat i own purchased on vacation never wear.


64. 64
    on August 11th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
    Rebekah said:

    Matching dog breed t-shirts for husband and me – UP. CHUCK.


65. 65
    on August 11th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
    Rebekah said:

    Bikini worn one week during teenage summer – where’s THAT body?


66. 66
    on August 11th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
    Catherine McP said:

    Turquois Mexican dress, I look like crap in that color.


67. 67
    on August 11th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
    Bea said:

    Artsy embellished sweater skirt in Italy. Cool there, hotter’n hell here.


68. 68
    on August 11th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
    Chesapeake Bay Woman said:

    A coconut bra from South of the Border is lunacy.


69. 69
    on August 11th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
    Denise said:

    Great deal $10 sweatshirt, diarrhea brown in color.


70. 70
    on August 11th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
    rockle said:

    hiking boots. didn’t even wear them on VACATION. ewww, yick!


71. 71
    on August 11th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
    Bonnie said:

    Sun-protective mini-skirt and jacket worn every dang day in Bahamas.


72. 72
    on August 11th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
    Maria from NJ said:

    Bossy can wear one white thing
    for that many days?

    Me?
    Recipe for attracting spills!
    Over and over!


73. 73
    on August 11th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
    mandible said:

    Green straw fedora , Charleston – cute in store, fugly on head


74. 74
    on August 12th, 2009 at 12:10 am
    Sallie said:

    Maria 72 – I agree that would happen to me too


75. 75
    on August 12th, 2009 at 12:12 am
    hana said:

    ten year old cow pie color timberland low hiking boots


76. 76
    on August 12th, 2009 at 8:58 am
    21st Century Housewife said:

    Many hats bought because I forgot to pack many hats.


77. 77
    on August 12th, 2009 at 9:31 am
    Surcie said:

    Hawaiian kukui necklace. Waiting for big-nut-necklace [one word!] trend to come back.


78. 78
    on August 12th, 2009 at 9:37 am
    Beth said:

    Tie-dyed tank top (Berkeley) makes me look fat now.


79. 79
    on August 12th, 2009 at 10:18 am
    Molly said:

    Moroccan caftan: sexy in Marrakech, now reminiscent of Dorothy Zbornak.


80. 80
    on August 12th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
    GK in MI said:

    emerald green cloak from Ireland – never go anywhere fancy enough.


81. 81
    on August 14th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
    Angela said:

    Feathered, sequined mask, only worn drinking Hurricanes in New Orleans.


82. 82
    on August 14th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
    ParentopiaDevra said:

    Crawfish costume living in perpetuity on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvWTw8W87Kc


83. 83
    on August 14th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
    ParentopiaDevra said:

    oops, forgot Ten word requirement. So….

    Crawfish costume living in pertpetuity on YouTube. Please go watch..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvWTw8W87Kc


84. 84
    on August 14th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
    Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy said:

    Cannot complain because I almost always buy shoes.


85. 85
    on August 15th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
    Amy said:

    Dress bought in Maui – okay, muumuu – now covers my swimsuit.


86. 86
    on August 16th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
    TLB said:

    Bathing suits and aloe vera with Lidocaine. That is all.


87. 87
    on August 16th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
    Cynthia at A Shimmy In My Spirit said:

    Black flip flops from Brazil. I wore them for years.


88. 88
    on August 17th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
    Emma said:

    Yellow and pink summer dress from Mexico. Never worn here.


89. 89
    on August 18th, 2009 at 9:53 am
    Meg said:

    Meg wishes her shadow was as lanky and slim as Olive Oyl’s, or Bossy’s.


90. 90
    on August 18th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
    Sandy_Shoes said:

    Heavy, insulated duck boots (-18 degrees in Iowa) sit yearning for a romp here at the beach.


91. 91
    on August 25th, 2009 at 12:24 am
    jorja said:

    Maroon embroidered dress from Thailand. I swear to God it fit when I tried it on.